[Copypasta] Jealous that Mario got to date Peach

twitchquotes: When I was 9 I was really jealous that Mario got to date Peach so to let my frustration out I turned on Mario Kart 64 and drove Mario off a cliff for 2 hours then went back to writing my fanfiction of me being Peach's bff and bf.
twitch chat
August 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Vandelar from the castle jousting team

twitchquotes: Hail Kripp, 'tis I, Vandelar from the castle jousting team. How does life treat you today? I notice you continue to fool around with children's playing cards, some things never change! Art thou still playing the wizard of warcraft children's game? I never had time for such pursuits, for I found myself occupied with defending my honor, and laying with beautiful wenches. Alas, it was nice to see thou again, write me and we shall visit the tavern Kreygasm
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

The Moon isn't so great?

twitchquotes: The Moon isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw an astronomical object with such an ability and movement within the celestial plane? The Moon puts the eclipse game to another level, and we will be blessed if we ever see a planet with its skill and passion for moving in front of things again. The Sun breaks records. Earth breaks records. The Moon breaks the rules. You can keep your statistics. I prefer the magic.
twitch chat
June 2019

That's some bad shit right there

twitchquotes: do NOT sign me the FUCK up ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘€ bad shit baฬทฬถ ิ sHit ๐Ÿ‘Ž thats โŒ some bad ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘Žshit right ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘Ž th ๐Ÿ‘Ž ere ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘Ž right โŒ there โŒ โŒ if i do ฦฝaาฏ so my sel๏ฝ†๐Ÿšซ i say so ๐Ÿšซ thats not what im talking about right there right there (chorus: สณแถฆแตสฐแต— แต—สฐแต‰สณแต‰) mMMMMแŽทะœ ๐Ÿšซ ๐Ÿ‘Ž ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘ŽะO0ะžเฌ ๏ผฏOO๏ผฏOะžเฌ เฌ Ooooแต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’แต’ ๐Ÿ‘Ž ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘Ž ๐Ÿ‘Ž ๐Ÿšซ ๐Ÿ‘Ž ๐Ÿ‘€ ๐Ÿ‘€ ๐Ÿ‘€ ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘ŽBad shit
twitch chat
April 2016

I put sushi in my husbandโ€™s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022

stop babyraging

twitchquotes: let's put out some rant here. you babyrage guys are pathetic. whenever kripp judges an aspect of the game, all of you take it as being salty and babyraging. its simply talking and discussing the game, dont be so closed minded, chat please.
twitch chat
July 2019
Kripp
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