[Copypasta] Jealous that Mario got to date Peach

twitchquotes: When I was 9 I was really jealous that Mario got to date Peach so to let my frustration out I turned on Mario Kart 64 and drove Mario off a cliff for 2 hours then went back to writing my fanfiction of me being Peach's bff and bf.
twitch chat
August 2020
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Dong Pegachino with the Dongerinos

twitchquotes: ΰΌΌ β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β–€ΜΏ ΜΏ ΰΌ½ Hello Kripp, my name is Dong Pegachino with the Dongerinos. ΰΌΌ β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β–€ΜΏ ΜΏ ΰΌ½ We're gonna need some "Insurance money" or we're gonna break off your legs and cut off your dongerino. Pls no copy pasterino my frappuchino
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

This πŸ‘ˆπŸ‘‰ is money snek

twitchquotes: This πŸ‘ˆπŸ‘‰ is money snek. πŸπŸπŸ’°πŸ’° Upsnek β¬†β¬†πŸ”œπŸ”œ in 7.123 7⃣ 1⃣2⃣3⃣ snekonds 🐍🐍 or you βœ‹βœ‹ will NEVER ❌❌❌❌ get monies πŸ’°πŸ’° again Beware!! βœ‹βœ‹βŒβŒYou😏😏 don't ❌❌ have much time!!πŸ•›πŸ•§πŸ•πŸ•œπŸ•‘πŸ•πŸ• You 😏😏 may never ❌❌get monies πŸ’°πŸ’°πŸπŸ’°πŸ’° again!!
twitch chat
April 2019

Emoji Pasta

How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. β€œThat’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. β€œBut as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022

You see, I have a very high IQ

twitchquotes: You see, I have a very high IQ. Do you want to know why? Well, I'll tell you anyways, I have a high IQ because I watch this amazing television show (which to my surprise piqued my interest unlike many other television shows) Rick and Morty. This show is remarkably intellectual (Like me, mind you) and not like any other animated shows. My most favorite joke from the show is "WUBALUBADUBDUB" it makes me giddy inside and knowing the common folk wont understand the joke makes me laugh even harder!
twitch chat
September 2017

Rick and Morty

octavian will come in your room tonight

twitchquotes: hello my name is octavian i died in a falafel accident 10 years ago unless you copy and paste this 10 times i will come in your room tonight and make you go 0-3 i look like a middle-aged salty vegan
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

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