[Copypasta] Jealous that Mario got to date Peach

twitchquotes: When I was 9 I was really jealous that Mario got to date Peach so to let my frustration out I turned on Mario Kart 64 and drove Mario off a cliff for 2 hours then went back to writing my fanfiction of me being Peach's bff and bf.
twitch chat
August 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Coming out as morbsexual

In honor of Pride Month, I am here to say that it's morbin' time. Today, my fellow morbheads, we rise. I am proud to come out and express my true morbdentity to the world at this very morbment. I am a morbphile and I identify myself as morbsexual. My pronouns are morb/ius.
June 2022

Morbius

Racoon

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢉⣴⣶⣤⠀⣿⣿ ⡿⢛⣉⣉⣉⣉⡛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣡⣴⠏⠁⠀⡚⠀⢸⣿ ⠁⣿⠉⢀⡉⠉⢿⣷⣄⠈⠉⠁⣠⣀⣤⡀⣤⣤⣀⣴⠂⢺⠧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿ ⠀⢷⣀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⣷⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⡟⠃⠠⢄⣀⢀⡴⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿ ⣧⠈⠣⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠸⠛⠃⠉⠋⠹⠀⠃⠁⠀⠀⠀⠺⣟⣷⣦⣄⠙⠿⣿⣿ ⣿⣇⢈⢿⣷⣾⣦⡤⢴⣿⣶⡀⢠⣔⣤⣤⡀⠀⠲⣾⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠈⢻ ⣿⠏⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⡻⣿⠀⠘⠿⡟⠡⠄⢉⡼⢿⣿⣿⣦⠈ ⡏⣨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡁⠐⠃⠈⠀⠐⠀⠀⣀⢠⡤⣾⠃⠀⠉⠛⠛⢠ ⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠁⠘⠿⣶⣤⠴⠶⢟⣰⣶⣾⣿⣷⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾ ⡀⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⢠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣟⠿⣿⡆⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿ ⣷⡄⠛⠟⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡃⠈⠁⠀⠘⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣈⣛⣉⣉⡙⠋⠋⠁⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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January 2020

Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)

Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, I’m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasn’t fapping I swear to god I just randomly….. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao
September 2021

ALL IN

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣄⠀⠀⣄⠀⠀⢀⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡄⢠⣄⠀⢀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡿⢻⡄⠀⣿⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⢸⡿⣦⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠛⠛⣿⡀⣿⣤⣤⢸⣿⣤⣤⠀⠀⢸⡇⢸⡇⠘⢿⡇⠀
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January 2021

I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021
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