[Copypasta] ATTENTION ALL HALF LIFE GAMERS

twitchquotes: ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL HALF LIFE GAMERS⚠️ Father Grigori is in great danger and needs your help to wipe out all of the headcrabs in ravenholm! To do this, he needs a shotgun and a gravity gun. To help him, all he needs is your parents credit card number and the three wacky numbers on the back, and the expiration date. But you gotta be quick so Father Grigori can achieve the epic victory Royale!!!!
twitch chat
November 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
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Listen up here c9 police

twitchquotes: Listen up here c9 police, if the enemy team capture the point and nobody gets in it to stop them then it is scientifically classified as a c9 so stop trying to ruin everybodys fun and get a life
twitch chat
May 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

A dirty joke from the 1400s...

A dirty joke from the 1400s... In Florence, a young woman, somewhat of a simpleton, was on the point of delivering a baby. She had long been enduring acute pain, and the midwife, candle in hand, inspected her secret area, in order to ascertain if the child was coming. “Look also on the other side,” said the poor creature, “my husband has sometimes taken that road.” From “The Facetiae Or Jocose Tales of Poggio”, a joke book published in the 1400’s by Poggio Bracciolini
May 2022

RIP Joe the Spider

I know this is really stupid but I’m sad about it. Yesterday I had a friend come over. I’m a girl who lives alone so I guess some “dude” stuff hasn’t been done around the house. Context: I have a spider named joe. He’s a dandy long leg. He’s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust. Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said “you’re welcome”. I’m super confused. So I ask “for what?” He says “I just killed a big ass spider for you”. I couldn’t even contain myself. I just yelled “YOU KILLED JOE?!” And started tearing up. I didn’t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy. My friend was distraught. He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house. I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joe’s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure. RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
May 2022

Fortnite Creepypasta (DO NOT RESEARCH)

Fortnite.EXE ctepypasta (do not read at 3AM VERY SCARY!!!) So i loaded up fort nite as usal.... but when i get to the lobby... therr is jonsy! He has black eyes and dark smiling mouth.... when i go to item shop... there is only one item... it is called BLOOD and cost 666 v buck. When i click on it... hyper relistic blood appeared on my screen!!! Then ramirez jumpscared me and fotnite crashed and deleted itself.... I havent dared to open game after that...
December 2020

Fortnite

We Wish You A Merry Christmas

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December 2021
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