[Copypasta] ATTENTION ALL HALF LIFE GAMERS

twitchquotes: ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL HALF LIFE GAMERS⚠️ Father Grigori is in great danger and needs your help to wipe out all of the headcrabs in ravenholm! To do this, he needs a shotgun and a gravity gun. To help him, all he needs is your parents credit card number and the three wacky numbers on the back, and the expiration date. But you gotta be quick so Father Grigori can achieve the epic victory Royale!!!!
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

TriDance

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣶⣶⣦⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⣤⡄⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⠟⠃⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠈⠀⠰⣦⣤⣤⡆⢀⡀⠸⢷⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣭⣿⡁⠈⣁⠀⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⢰⣦⢸⣿⠟⢃⣼⣿⠇⢠⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⣶⠀⢸⣿⣷⣿⣷⡀⠻⡿⠀⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⢀⣾⠟⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠸⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠘⠻⠿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣄⣀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡦⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀ ⠈⠹⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⣀⣀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⣸
ascii art
October 2020

I have done it, 80 years and not a single nut bust

twitchquotes: I have done it, 80 years and not a single nut bust. Thanks to my incredible goal i have obtained an iq of 156 which i have used to build a pc that deletes system 32 when it loads any type of NSFW. I’m currently in a hospital bed dying of terminal disease, however, this is a victory as in 72 hours i’m expected to die. Wish me luck in this final run.
twitch chat
November 2020

I love the McChicken

For me, it's the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich. I even ask for extra McChicken sauce packets and the staff is so friendly and more than willing to oblige. One time I asked for McChicken sauce packets and they gave me three. I said, "Wow, three for free!" and the nice friendly McDonald's worker laughed and said, "I'm going to call you 3-for-free!". Now the staff greets me with "hey it's 3-for-free!" and ALWAYS give me three packets. It's such a fun and cool atmosphere at my local McDonald's restaurant, I go there at least 3 times a week for lunch and a large iced coffee with milk instead of cream, 1-2 times for breakfast on the weekend, and maybe once for dinner when I'm in a rush but want a great meal that is affordable, fast, and can match my daily nutritional needs. I even dip my fries in McChicken sauce, it's delicious! What a great restaurant.
April 2022

IF YOU TOUCH THE ARMOR, GO TO SLEEP

twitchquotes: SLEEP TEST 🛡️ IF YOU TOUCH THE ARMOR, GO TO SLEEP ⎝ ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
August 2019

Hearthstone

So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Pekora cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Pekora's wig and clothes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as a tomato and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my clothes. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Yep peko." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter peko?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "Oh God, Pekora!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Pekora."
September 2021
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing