[Copypasta] ATTENTION ALL HALF LIFE GAMERS

twitchquotes: ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL HALF LIFE GAMERS⚠️ Father Grigori is in great danger and needs your help to wipe out all of the headcrabs in ravenholm! To do this, he needs a shotgun and a gravity gun. To help him, all he needs is your parents credit card number and the three wacky numbers on the back, and the expiration date. But you gotta be quick so Father Grigori can achieve the epic victory Royale!!!!
twitch chat
November 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
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"Why does chat hate me?" Cybrix wonders

twitchquotes: Pizza. Pizza. The chat's hurtful words haunt Cybrix at night as he sleeps on his bed of bagel bites. "Why does chat hate me?" he wonders. One day he gets on Mumble and finds the chat no longer hates him. Because it turns out even an obese pizzabator is more tolerable than Rick.
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October 2014
Kripp

POV: you get approached by the weaboo kid

🚶‍♂️are you the👁👄👁new girl😜heh☺️ i thought so😌i’ve never seen👀 you before🤔 cone e chee wah ✋🏻 i’m david-kun😚it’s so nice😛to finally meet you🤪you look just like😳my waifu🥵HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹anyways😐i’m so sorry😔about the jerks😡in class😤theyre all👊🏻BAKA👊🏻they only want😭one thing😫not me🥴i just like🤓to watch📺my favourite anime😍jiu jitsu kaisen😍and read manga😎mmmalso👉🏻👈🏻ithinkyourereallycool😅kawaee desu neigh😳🐴HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹HEH👹nghuuh😣i’m sorry😤i’m just nervous😭okay😡it’s just😉well😋it’s just🥵mm I JUST WANT TO KNOW🤔IF I CAN SUCK👅ON YOUR NIPPLETS🤭OKAY❓well😰what do you 👊🏻👊🏻NNGGGH😵
February 2021

Weebs

hablo espaneo

twitchquotes: helo fabby i am hablo espaneo i come from mexican i am liking your curse videos. after i am watching your streaming video i am strong enough to shoot father hablo with crossing bow. learning tumble and fight dragon. i now in jail watching stream with dyrus on big tv. no copy pasterino macachino banerinio spamino. thank u
twitch chat
July 2014
Dyrus

I like pom

twitchquotes: I like pom. You read that wrong. You have a dirty mind and I hope you have a bad day. Goodbye and please go to church. Cleanse your mind, soul and body. Thank you.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

I hate Stuart Little

twitchquotes: I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you're thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no, Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A god damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he's supposed to be a hero? And I can't even tell you how many damn times I've seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible.
twitch chat
May 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing