[Copypasta] Do you guys mind not spamming the chat so much?

twitchquotes: Do you guys mind not spamming the chat so much? I'm really trying to pay attention to the stream and you guys are distracting me. If you guys really cared about the quality of the stream or [insert streamer name] you would stop the spamming and copying and pasting. God, I swear you guys are the worst part of twitch. Couldn't you just try to be mature for once in your life? Everyday I come here and it's the same thing, a bunch of no life neckbeards ruining this quality content for everyone else..
twitch chat
December 2017

Classic

I hate Twitch Chat

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Don't ever smoke

twitchquotes: My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your stream gave me cancer anyway.
twitch chat
January 2020

Classic

As I type this I have my modded PS2 running a track IP script on your post

You fucked up kid. As I type this I have my modded PS2 running a track IP script on your post. Once I have triangulated your position in the world, my PS3 will release to your router my very own Pandora box virus. You won't notice it at first, but soon your lame PC will begin to work against you in ways you can't even imagine. First your graphics card will start to emit the flu virus, your ram will be uploaded online so everyone will be able to use it, your motherboard will slowly secrete acidic resin which will fry the electronics. The processor will be fine, just to give you hope. You will be left with a husk of a machine, all because you decided to critique my mental ability... was it worth it? Not even your mummy can help you now fuck boy
January 2021

Classic

ALERT INCOMING DANK MEME

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ”Š๐Ÿ”Š๐Ÿšจ๐ŸšจWARNING๐Ÿ”Š๐Ÿšจ๐ŸšจWARNING๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿ”ŠTHIS IS A ๐ŸธDANK ๐Ÿ‘ฝMEMEโ—โ— ๐ŸธALERT. INCOMING ๐ŸธDANK ๐Ÿ‘ฝMEME๐Ÿธ ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘ŒHEADING STRAIGHT ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€YOUR WAY. ๐Ÿ”œ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿ‘†PLEASE TAKE ANY PRECAUTIONS๐Ÿšง๐Ÿšง NECESSARY TO PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THIS ๐ŸธDANK ๐Ÿ‘ฝMEMEโ—โ— ๐Ÿธ ๐ŸŒ‹๐ŸŒ‹๐ŸŒ‹ .BUCKLE UPโ™ฟโ™ฟโ™ฟ THEM SEATBELTS๐Ÿ‘ฎ๐Ÿ‘ฎ,PUT THEM CELLPHONES ON SILENT๐Ÿ“ต๐Ÿ“ต AND LOOSEN THAT ANUS๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฉ๐Ÿฉ๐Ÿ’ฉ๐Ÿ’ฉ CUZ THIS MEME JUST CAME STRAIGHT OUT OF THE ๐Ÿšฌ๐Ÿšฌ ๐Ÿ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿ๐Ÿšฌ๐ŸšฌDANK FACTORY.
twitch chat
May 2016

Emoji Pasta

Classic

Dear Mr. Morosan, this is Sister Agatha

twitchquotes: Dear Mr. Morosan, this is Sister Agatha from the preschool down the road. Did you and Rania have a child recently? I ask because of all the crying and whining I've heard coming from your house. The only explanation is that there is an immature person in there, and surely that wouldn't be you, a fine emotionally-stable adult! Please come by and I'll give the child a free lesson in manners! Cheers, Agatha.
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

Classic

neverlucky

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

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