[Copypasta] Ten reasons why you can't move to Scotland

Tin resins why ye canae move tae Sco'land. Win - We dinnae want ye here Tae - Yer nae hard enough Threh - Ye wouldnae like the wither (and ye wouldne ken hoo tae describ it - dreich, drookit, haar, etc) Fir - Yer a dafty who couldne git intae oor big skels and dinnae ken aboot the Sco'ish Enlightinment Fiv - Yer a big girruls blouse and cannae keep up wi oor drinkin Sex - Yed get snapped in hoff if ye played fitbaw wi us sivvun - Ye coodnae handle the patter It - Wae dinnae wint ye drivin up the hoos prices Nin - Yer pribly a jobbyjabber who likes it it in the backsie Tin - Oor wimmun boke at the sight of ye If somehoo ye dae mit the abuv requirmints then ye can enter but ye must promis to vote fi SNP, the ONLY party that trilly represents Sco'land. Fuck off hame any English cunts.
September 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

STFU Weebs

⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⣿⠛⠛⠛⠛⢻⠛⠛⠛⢻⡟⠛⣿⣿⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠐⠿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⠈⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠄⢰⣶⣾⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⣉⣁⣤⣿⣿⣇⣸⣿⣿⣀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣤⣈⣁⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⢿⣿⡿⠿⣿⡿⢿⡿⠿⠿⠿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠿⣿ ⡇⠈⣿⠄⠄⣿⠃⣸⡇⠄⣶⣶⣿⡇⢰⣶⣶⣿⠄⢸⡷⠄⣿⡇⠰⢿⣶⣿ ⣿⠄⠋⢰⡆⠸⠄⣿⡇⠄⣤⣤⣿⡇⢠⣤⣤⣿⠄⢰⣤⠈⢻⣿⣦⣄⠈⢿ ⣿⣇⣀⣾⣷⣀⣸⣿⣇⣀⣉⣉⣹⣇⣈⣉⣉⣿⣀⣈⣉⣠⣾⣋⣉⣉⣠⣿
September 2019

Weebs

Florida Mayhem McDonald's

twitchquotes: Guys, the color scheme of McDonald's consists of red, yellow, and white. It does not include blac k like Florida Mayhem. Stop spamming about how they are McDonald's already. It's untrue and unfunny.
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday

Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
December 2020

Kripp complains

twitchquotes: The opponent mulligans his cards. "Oh my god dude, are you kidding me?" says Kripp. The opponent plays a 2 drop. "Seriously dude? This is crazy." The opponent draws a card at the start of their turn. "No fckin way dude, I can't beat that." The opponent hero powers. "This is some crazy RNG bullshit" says Kripp.
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

salty

Dude, your donger is showing!

twitchquotes: (ʘᗩʘ') Dude, your donger is showing (ʘᗩʘ')
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing