[Copypasta] Ten reasons why you can't move to Scotland

Tin resins why ye canae move tae Sco'land. Win - We dinnae want ye here Tae - Yer nae hard enough Threh - Ye wouldnae like the wither (and ye wouldne ken hoo tae describ it - dreich, drookit, haar, etc) Fir - Yer a dafty who couldne git intae oor big skels and dinnae ken aboot the Sco'ish Enlightinment Fiv - Yer a big girruls blouse and cannae keep up wi oor drinkin Sex - Yed get snapped in hoff if ye played fitbaw wi us sivvun - Ye coodnae handle the patter It - Wae dinnae wint ye drivin up the hoos prices Nin - Yer pribly a jobbyjabber who likes it it in the backsie Tin - Oor wimmun boke at the sight of ye If somehoo ye dae mit the abuv requirmints then ye can enter but ye must promis to vote fi SNP, the ONLY party that trilly represents Sco'land. Fuck off hame any English cunts.
September 2021
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Anime girl 8

⣿⠟⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢣⠟⠋⡜⠄⢸⣿⣿⡟⣬⢁⠠⠁⣤⠄⢰⠄⠇⢻⢸ ⢏⣾⣿⣿⣿⠿⣟⢁⡴⡀⡜⣠⣶⢸⣿⣿⢃⡇⠂⢁⣶⣦⣅⠈⠇⠄⢸⢸ ⣹⣿⣿⣿⡗⣾⡟⡜⣵⠃⣴⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⢸⠘⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢱⠄⠨⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⢁⣾⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⣿⡎⠐⠒⠚⠛⠛⠿⢧⠄⠄⢠⣼ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠿⢸⡿⠭⠭⢽⣿⣿⣿⢂⣿⠃⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⡾ ⣼⠏⣿⡏⠄⠄⢠⣤⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣟⣾⣾⣼⣿⠒⠄⠄⠄⡠⣴⡄⢠⣿⣵ ⣳⠄⣿⠄⠄⢣⠸⣹⣿⡟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡻⡖⠦⢤⣔⣯⡅⣼⡿⣹ ⡿⣼⢸⠄⠄⣷⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣕⡜⡌⡝⡸⠙⣼⠟⢱⠏ ⡇⣿⣧⡰⡄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣋⣪⣥⢠⠏⠄ ⣧⢻⣿⣷⣧⢻⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢀⣀⣀⡙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠂⠄⠄ ⢹⣼⣿⣿⣿⣧⡻⣿⣿⣇⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣰⠄⠄⠄ ⣼⡟⡟⣿⢸⣿⣿⣝⢿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⢟⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⡀⡀ ⣿⢰⣿⢹⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠉⠄⠄⣸⢰⡇ ⣿⣾⣹⣏⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣍⡻⣛⣛⣛⡉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢇⡏⠄
May 2019

Weebs

I am going to short the whole country of South Africa

I assure you, this ISN'T going to get political. Because by all accounts South Africa is screwed. My planned position is bottom paragraph. Under the current ANC government there has been a general degeneration of all aspects of South Africa. Due to systemic nepotism, there are math teachers that don't know what square roots are, army officers that can't read, and cops that have never fired a gun. The practice of fictitious employees that take checks but don't work there is widespread enough that the government has drove itself into insolvency already. Estimates are that some 80% of government funds are misused in some way, ranging from government subsidies given to businesses owned by government officials to simply going missing from accounts. The ANC solved this, against advise of wiser people, with quantitative easing. Which is a fancy term for printing money, and since they could never possibly reverse that printer they're inflating the South African Rand which is why they've had two bouts of inflation near 9% twice in the past 20 years. That is all besides how the largely defunct government doesn't prevent anything on the ground. Roaming bands of pirates (many affiliates of the Marxist Economic Freedom Fighter party) will poison guard dogs and torture and murder residents often for as little as car keys and groceries. Many communities are functionally independent and take the law in their own hands, and in many areas utilities are defunct (untreated sewage goes in the river, untreated tap water comes out and it smells as disgusting as it sounds). South Africans are more likely to have their asylum applications accepted than any other nation as there are so many tales of rape and murder and threats of ethnic cleansing. This equates to the most educated citizens leaving SA and most SA based businesses diversifying out of the country as literacy rates have been falling. These disillusioned departures are not new, as they include the most famous Afrikaner in history Elon Musk who is now a naturalized American. Edit: The Economic Freedom Fighter's usual acronym isn't used because it's also the ticker for a penny stock. I first thought about shorting South Africa over a year ago when I was researching the country (I'm a historian, I read much on the country for fun). I found the only index tracking SA (EZA) wasn't an accurate representation of SA economy and buying puts on it was useless. It tracked only the largest cap firms, which are the aforementioned companies diversifying out of SA (mostly to other parts of Africa). Which is why it's a volatile ETF that overall trades sideways. Buying puts on it wouldn't really capitalize on SA going full Rhodesia/Zimbabwe. Zimbabwe having experienced the general breakup of modern institutions and hyperinflation due to similar problems. My new broker, IBKR, allows negative currency positions as long you post 10% as collateral. Now my native currency are US dollars, where inflation in 2020 was 1.4% while the South African Rand's inflation was 4.12% in 2020. That equals a 26.8% return on investment per year from that simple short position. But I'm expecting US Dollar inflation to stay between 1-2% a year while the Rand (ticker ZAR) stays north of 4% with inflation spikes inevitable over the next decade. This position also reduces my market beta, much needed for me as I've got hugely leveraged positions on American ETFs. This isn't a short term swing trade, I'm waiting for SA to implode.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Disappearing shrug

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/⠄ ¯\_(ツ)_:⠄ ¯\_(ツ)..: ¯\_(ツ:.. ¯\_(⣯::. ¯\_:⣯:: ¯\..:⣯: ¯:..:⣯ ...:..:
January 2021

NaM googly eyes

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣉⣍⠁⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⡩⣍⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⣴⡿⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢷⣝⣞⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⣰⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢯⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣸⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣧⠛⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⣿⣯⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠦⠄⠄⠄⠉⠂⢹⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣉⣛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣴⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⠆⢹⣿⣿⠏⣰⣿⡿⠟⢻⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⣿⢿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣼⣿⡟⢀⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⣿⢸⣦⡙⠛⠿⠟⠛⠉⣠⣾⣿⣿⡄⠻⣿⣷⣤⣤⣾⣿⡿⠁⡿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄⠄⢀⠘⢿⣿⣿⠄⠂⠛⣛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣾⣿⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠸⣿⣼⡏⠁⠄⠘⢻⡛⢓⡛⣿⣿⡿⣼⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠘⠏⠃⠄⣤⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⢻⣾⣿⣿⣧⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣽⣿⠋⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣈⠙⢉⣰⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
January 2019

Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi

Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!
July 2019
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