[Copypasta] Ten reasons why you can't move to Scotland

Tin resins why ye canae move tae Sco'land. Win - We dinnae want ye here Tae - Yer nae hard enough Threh - Ye wouldnae like the wither (and ye wouldne ken hoo tae describ it - dreich, drookit, haar, etc) Fir - Yer a dafty who couldne git intae oor big skels and dinnae ken aboot the Sco'ish Enlightinment Fiv - Yer a big girruls blouse and cannae keep up wi oor drinkin Sex - Yed get snapped in hoff if ye played fitbaw wi us sivvun - Ye coodnae handle the patter It - Wae dinnae wint ye drivin up the hoos prices Nin - Yer pribly a jobbyjabber who likes it it in the backsie Tin - Oor wimmun boke at the sight of ye If somehoo ye dae mit the abuv requirmints then ye can enter but ye must promis to vote fi SNP, the ONLY party that trilly represents Sco'land. Fuck off hame any English cunts.
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Happy Thanksgiving emoji

Happy πŸ¦ƒ Thanksgiving πŸ¦ƒ! Guess what πŸ˜―β“it’s that time ⏰ of year πŸ—“ to gobble πŸ¦ƒ gobble πŸ¦ƒ gobble πŸ¦ƒ up ⬆️ those dicks πŸ† chicks πŸ₯ and bicks 🀨 (big dicks) πŸ†πŸ˜«πŸ˜«πŸ˜«πŸ˜« I bet 😏 you’re all 😀😀😀 HORNY-copia 🌽 πŸ₯”πŸ₯•πŸŒΆπŸ†β™‹οΈπŸ‘€πŸ‘‰πŸ‘Œ for SKANKS-giving πŸ€ͺπŸ˜”πŸ€€πŸ€€πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜πŸ˜ you’ll be saying πŸ’¬ thanks πŸ™ for giving me all 😫 this 😫 COCK πŸ₯³πŸ₯³πŸ₯³πŸ₯³ send this to πŸ”Ÿ of your thiccest sluts with those hot πŸ₯΅ hot πŸ”₯ tasty πŸ€€πŸ˜‹ peach pies πŸ₯§ πŸ‘ 😏😏 if you know πŸ€” what I mean β˜ΊοΈπŸ˜˜πŸ˜‹ if you get 1️⃣ back πŸ™„πŸ€¬πŸ˜‘ then you and that slut 🀀🀀🀀😫😫😫 have to appropriate Native American culture together πŸ˜”πŸͺΆπŸ• if you get 3️⃣ back πŸ˜ˆπŸ€‘ you’re going to get your turkey πŸ¦ƒ eaten πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰πŸ˜ tomorrow night 😱😱😱😱 if you get 5️⃣ back πŸ‘€πŸ‘€ you will be eating your cousin’s πŸ‘ΆπŸ» peach πŸ‘ pie πŸ₯§ just like you’ve always πŸ’―πŸ’―πŸ’―wanted πŸ˜‹πŸ€€πŸ₯΅ if you get 7️⃣ back πŸ›Ά you’ll become 😲😲 a pilgrim πŸŽ©πŸ‘ž and be the villain πŸ¦Ήβ€β™€οΈ of American πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ history πŸ“–πŸ“•πŸ“š πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜” if you get all 1️⃣0️⃣ back 🀯😱🀯😱🀯😱🀯 you’ll be feasting 🀀😏 this thanksgiving πŸ‘€πŸ‘€ in more ways than one πŸ˜«πŸ˜πŸ‘€πŸšΌπŸ’˜ okay you sexy πŸ˜‡ sexy 😈 gobbling turkey poos πŸ¦ƒπŸ¦ƒπŸ¦ƒ it’s time ⏰ for me to go ➑️ atone 🀣for the sins ✝️ πŸ˜”of my ancestorsπŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ‘©πŸΌβ€β€οΈβ€πŸ’‹β€πŸ‘¨πŸΌπŸ€°πŸΌπŸ€±πŸΌπŸ‘©β€πŸ‘§πŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺπŸ€ͺ
January 2024

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Thanksgiving

Teaching him how to throw so well

twitchquotes: Hey xQc my son is a huge fan of yours. Anyway over the past few days of watching you play this game hes got much better at playing baseball (he plays in the 11-13 year old division). I just wanted to stop by and thank you for teaching him how to throw so well.
twitch chat
October 2018
xQcOW

Overwatch

No name calling

I just had a conversation w a πŸ‚ that didnt resort to name calling... We just spoke our peace and wished ourselves good luck and now i dint know what to do with myself. I think im going to go back and call him a bitch.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Jerma is a character loosely inspired by Peter Griffin

Jerma985, or also known as Jeremy Elbertson, is a character loosely inspired by a character named Peter Griffin from Family Guy, an American animated sitcom created by Seth MacFarlane. Both characters are from Boston and shares the same characteristics through the show.[8] Jerma's dog, Otto, is also a reference to Brian Griffin as both characters have a pet dog. Throughout the airings of the show, this homage to Family Guy has become a running gag as the character Chat often says a memorable quote, "That's a Family Guy joke.".[9][10]
March 2022
Jerma985

The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas

The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas, and has successfully executed her forced feminization program, converting 72% of the us male population into women, the remaining 28% either existing peacefully as femboy subs or have fled the country, if they're lucky. All references to Dr. Seuss, Mr. Potatohead, and other such martyrs and thoughtcrimes will lead to prompt and inevitable cancellation by means of Jewish space laser. All statues of white people have been torn down and replaced with statues of AOC alongside Mao Zedong and Che Guevara, and the public has thus collectively forgotten about Robert E. Lee. The constitution has its 28th amendment, codifying mandatory cock and ball torture for all penis-having citizens no less than twice a week. It is illegal to say "Merry Christmas". Heterosexual relationships are strictly forbidden. Attack Helicopter, with pronouns brr/brrs, is a gender recognized on the official list of 93. The police have been almost entirely defunded, nationally having an annual budget of $5.30, enough for a single Big Mac Combo Meal. There is a new arm of the state, namely the "rape police" whose sole duty is functionally a secret task force to ensure all consent is affirmative and enthusiastic. All citizens must pledge allegiance to the LGBTQIA+ rainbow flag and swear oaths on White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo. All g*mers have been deported. Mexico is now the 53rd state, behind Puerto Rico and Washington DC. All bathrooms are gender-neutral. Marxism, the theory proposing the government do a lot of things, has become the official state ideology, including mandatory education on critical race theory beginning in pre-K. White people are second class citizens, guilty of being white, and all white people must publicly apologize on the behalf of their race as a coming-of-age ceremony at the beginning of pubescence. Facts now care about feelings. We will no longer be subjugated by AOC and her inner party, the Squad. The Culture War is not over. We will not be cancelled. We are the resistaβ€” radio static
March 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing