[Copypasta] Ten reasons why you can't move to Scotland

Tin resins why ye canae move tae Sco'land. Win - We dinnae want ye here Tae - Yer nae hard enough Threh - Ye wouldnae like the wither (and ye wouldne ken hoo tae describ it - dreich, drookit, haar, etc) Fir - Yer a dafty who couldne git intae oor big skels and dinnae ken aboot the Sco'ish Enlightinment Fiv - Yer a big girruls blouse and cannae keep up wi oor drinkin Sex - Yed get snapped in hoff if ye played fitbaw wi us sivvun - Ye coodnae handle the patter It - Wae dinnae wint ye drivin up the hoos prices Nin - Yer pribly a jobbyjabber who likes it it in the backsie Tin - Oor wimmun boke at the sight of ye If somehoo ye dae mit the abuv requirmints then ye can enter but ye must promis to vote fi SNP, the ONLY party that trilly represents Sco'land. Fuck off hame any English cunts.
September 2021
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Only way I can feel safe

twitchquotes: When I'm ready to go to sleep I grab my laptop and get in bed. I open my laptop, go to Kripps youtube, turn the brightness all the way up and watch the video with the laptop screen close to my eyes. When the video is done I close my eyes and can still see Kripps face while I go to sleep. It's the only way I can feel safe.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Classic

KKomrade

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⣀⢀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢘ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⢲⣿⡖⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⣄⣤⣶⡿⡗⠐⠂⠒⠒⠐⠒⠒⠒⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⣴⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢛⣩⣾⠟⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⣋⣵⣶⣿⡿⠛⠑⢀⣴⣶⣶⡶⠒⠛⠒⠂⠿⠻⠟⠒⠒⠶⣶⣶⣄⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣾⣿⣿⡿⠋⠉⠴⠔⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⣀⣰⣶⣀⠀⢰⣶⣾⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠟⣱⣴⣰⡔⡿⢟⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⠟⢃⣾⡿⢗⣡⣴⣜⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢻⣿⣿⡌⠛⠈⢹⣿⡻⣿⣿⡟⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣀⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⢉⣉⣓⣒⣛⡛⠛⠀⣸⣿⢃⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣷⣶⣾⣍⣉⣠⣾⣾⠿⠏⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠻⣿⡿⠁⡈⢿⣿⣯⣤⣤⣈⡹⠛⠁⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⡁⠀⠃⠈⠻⠿⠿⠫⠟⠟⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠠⣀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers

"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers, rather it is advice for them. When participating in intense periods of gaming, the human hand has a tendency to get sweaty. The sweat causes the hand to become slick, and it b becomes more difficult to retain a grip on the gamers gaming mouse, thus making it more difficult to perform well in intense gaming moments. By touching grass with the gamers hand, the grass will impart a layer of particulate onto the gamers hand, the particulate can be made of a variety of dusts, dirts and other natural matter. This particulate will then act in a similar form to climbers chalk, absorbing the sweat and drying out the gamers hand. With dry hands, the gamer can now perform to their maximum when gaming. This is why when an enemy or teammate tells you to touch grass, they are simply trying to assist you in performing better.
July 2021

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Apple announces an EV program

Oh boy I can't wait until 2024 when I can wake up to my Apple Homepod Siri alarm and check my Apple Watch for notifications and take a shower in my Apple Big Douche then put my makeup on before work in my Apple Mirror then take my Apple Car to my job at Apple Phone Plant #584 so I can work on my Mac Pro workstation designing the latest Apple Product the iShit smart toilet that syncs with your iAsshole to sense when you have a massive log brewing in my large intestine and sends me a notification to my apple colonoscopy bag. Russian hackers will know what I had for dinner.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

YOU DON'T GET TO TENTACLE ME OCTO-CHAN!

twitchquotes: ⧹╲⎝⧹ PunOko ⎠╱⧸⎠ Squid1 Squid3 Squid2 Squid4 YOU DON'T GET TO TENTACLE ME OCTO-CHAN! ⧹╲⎝⧹ PunOko ⎠╱⧸⎠
twitch chat
July 2017

Weebs

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