[Copypasta] HAPPY IMPEACHMENT DAY

twitchquotes: 🚨🚨🚨HAPPY IMPEACHMENT DAY to all my freedom🗽loving hoes💦👅👅👅who put the 🍑in IM🍑MENT😛😛😛looks like donald💰🤮finally got caught👩‍✈️👨‍✈️trying to call daddy ukraine🇺🇦🇺🇦 to take out hoe biden🧓🏻🔥 but now we need to RIDE🏇CUMgress 🏛raw😩😩👅👅 so they can’t back down️, send this to🔟of your💃🏻wokest📝woes🔥🍌or say 👋BYE to ur independence🙏🏻😩eating that IMPEACHMENT🇺🇸DAY🇺🇸ASS 🍑is the only️ ethical👌form of consumption😋😋😋under late capitalism💸💵💴💶so WE’RE ALL EATING TODAY☭☭☭️🍆🔥💦👅
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December 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Guido Mista's face

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠛⢛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⢀⣀⡈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⡀⠴⢒⡒⠂⠄⢀⡀⢐⡀⡀⠄⠄⢀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡡⠪⠶⢿⡭⡉⠄⢀⢣⣖⣶⣬⡱⣄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⣔⣎⠓⠂⡀⠑⠖⣒⠭⠻⠿⠿⠷⠙⣎⠉⠉⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢧⢱⣿⣔⣀⠊⠐⢼⣿⣶⣠⠄⠐⡐⠶⡂⣿⣀⡀⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠂⣿⣿⣷⣶⣟⣴⣾⣿⣧⣐⣤⣤⣭⣿⠇⡇⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡌⠿⣛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢫⡞⡇⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣫⠞⢀⣿⣿⣿⣥⣤⣌⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣽⣿⠁⡇⠒⢒⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣯⣾⠋⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⡿⠃⣴⡇⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡛⡿⣿⣿⣷⣇⠄⠄⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣉⠄⣼⡇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠉⠐⣥⡙⠛⠿⠇⢸⠰⠄⠄⠄⠹⠟⠛⠋⢉⣀⢩⢴⠄⢰⣿⣧⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⢱⡀⠄⠄⠇⡰⠄⡐⠄⠰⠰⢿⠃⠈⠉⢠⠄⠄⠻⠿⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡤⡴⠶⠚⠋⠻⣆⠄⠁⣠⠡⠐⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠠⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠲⠎⠉
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August 2019

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Sad Anime Girl

⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢋⣩⣤⣴⣶⣶⣦⣙⣉⣉⣉⣉⣙⡛⢋⣥⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣬⡙⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⠟⣡⣶⣿⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠙ ⣿⢋⣼⣿⠟⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧ ⠃⣾⣯⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢰⣶⣼⣿⣷⣿⣽⠿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡌⣿⣷⡀⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⢃⣺⣿⣿⣿⢿⠏⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡾⣿⣿⣿⣷⢹⣿⣷⣄⠄⠈⠉ ⡼⣻⣿⣷⣿⠏⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣞⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤ ⣇⣿⡿⣿⠏⣸⣎⣻⣟⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣩⣼⢆⠻⣿⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⡿⠋⠈⠉⠄⠉⠻⣽⣿⣿⣯⢿⣿⣿⡻⠋⠉⠄⠈⠑⠊⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⠄⣰⠱⠿⠄⠄⢨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢶⠷⠄⠄⢄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠘⣤⣿⡀⣤⣤⣤⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢠⣤⣤⡄⣸⣀⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡀⣿⣿⣷⣌⣉⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⣛⣋⣴⣿⣿⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿ ⢹⣿⢸⣿⣻⣶⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣭⡿⠻⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢹ ⠈⣿⡆⠻⣿⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡜⣭⣍⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣿⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⣼ ⣦⠘⣿⣄⠊⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣼⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠟
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September 2020

Weebs

How do I get my husband to stop going ‘Goblin Mode’ during sex?

How do I get my husband to stop going ‘Goblin Mode’ during sex? TLDR; My husband says ‘Goblin Mode activated’ when we start to have sex, growls and acts like a caveman, and then says ‘Goblin Mode off’ when we stop, and then pretends not to remember afterward. I really love my husband and he’s always been great in bed. But recently he’s been acting really weird. So, a couple of days ago, my son went on a rampage through our house and said he was in ‘Goblin Mode’. We didn’t really know what to do with him, so we sent him to live with my parents so he can go to a special needs school. My husband a really great relationship with our son and loved him more than anything. Naturally, he was upset when he had to leave. He’s an incredibly tough man, but this was the first time I’ve ever seen him cry. I think since then, he’s been a little emotionally unwell. I’ve heard him muttering, ‘Goblin’ repeatedly when he didn’t notice me, staring blankly into his food, and just going alone by himself to do who knows what. I feel awful for him, but we both agreed that this was for the best. Last night, the day after our son went away, we decided to have sex to relieve our stress. However, my husband said ‘Goblin Mode activated’, starting growling, and went wild having sex with me. Admittedly, it was some of the best and most experimental sex I’ve ever had, but I’m worried that something might be going on with my husband. Any advice? Edit: The problem isn’t the ‘Goblin Mode’, it’s that he could be ill
July 2022

Confessions

Classic

Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
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November 2018

Ultra Variety Pack bag of Dongers

twitchquotes: ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ୧༼ ͡◉ل͜ ͡◉༽୨ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨乁( ◔ ౪◔)ㄏ─=≡Σ((( つ◕ل͜◕)つ (ง •̀_•́)ง┌(° ͜ʖ͡°)┘(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)งᕙ༼◕ل͜◕༽ᕗ Sorry, I dropped my Ultra Variety Pack™ bag of Dongers. ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ୧༼ ͡◉ل͜ ͡◉༽୨ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ﾉ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨乁( ◔ ౪◔)ㄏ─=≡Σ((( つ◕ل͜◕)つ (ง •̀_•́)ง┌(° ͜ʖ͡°)┘(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)งᕙ༼◕ل͜◕༽ᕗ
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June 2014
Kripp
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