[Copypasta] HAPPY IMPEACHMENT DAY

twitchquotes: 🚨🚨🚨HAPPY IMPEACHMENT DAY to all my freedom🗽loving hoes💦👅👅👅who put the 🍑in IM🍑MENT😛😛😛looks like donald💰🤮finally got caught👩‍✈️👨‍✈️trying to call daddy ukraine🇺🇦🇺🇦 to take out hoe biden🧓🏻🔥 but now we need to RIDE🏇CUMgress 🏛raw😩😩👅👅 so they can’t back down️, send this to🔟of your💃🏻wokest📝woes🔥🍌or say 👋BYE to ur independence🙏🏻😩eating that IMPEACHMENT🇺🇸DAY🇺🇸ASS 🍑is the only️ ethical👌form of consumption😋😋😋under late capitalism💸💵💴💶so WE’RE ALL EATING TODAY☭☭☭️🍆🔥💦👅
twitch chat
December 2019
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Dear Kripp, this is you from the future!

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is you from the future!!! The fate of Earth depends on YOU! When you ignored chat and didn't place the kitty on your lap and pet it, it lead to a global economic crash and all out nuclear war!! For the love of humanity put the damn kitty in your lap now and pet it like our lives depend on it!!!!! Sincerely , Future Kripp
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

This guy's girlfriend is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: ☑ “This guy's girlfriend is CRAZY!” ☑ “My Rania can't win against a hot blonde like that” ☑ "She NEEDED precisely those two big breasts to win" ☑ "She had the perfect cameltoe" ☑ “There was nothing I couldn't do to her” ☑ “I ate her perfectly” ☑ “What a slut”
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Bananaman

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March 2021

Why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911

Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911. Here's why: Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead. Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it. Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12. And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal. Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger? Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova. Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound. I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series: "Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1." And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
August 2021

Kripp the adult film actor

twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
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