[Copypasta] Xi Jinping Tanner

twitchquotes: So you’re going by Kripparian now, nerd? Haha what up, it’s Xi Jinping from China. Me and the other dictators used to give you a hard time. Sorry you were just an easy target. I see your social credit score is still low. Remember Mei Ling, the girl you had a crush on? Yeah, I have her organs now. I forcefully oppress over 1 billion people a year, and run a corrupt government. I guess some things never change, huh? Nice catching up, pathetic..
twitch chat
November 2019
Kripp

Tanner from High School

I used to be a real ad
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Six foot antlers

twitchquotes: I bet all you beta f*gs don't wear antlers either. Science has shown that the male deers with the largest antlers attract the most females, so obviously the exact same principle works for human females. When I walk into the club reeking of sweat with six foot antlers strapped to my head, I get the attention of every female in the room. Pretty much ever man too, that's how powerful the effect is.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

A middle-aged man complaining about an online card game

twitchquotes: ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀ ᴍɪᴅᴅʟᴇ-ᴀɢᴇᴅ ᴍᴀɴ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴀɪɴɪɴɢ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ ʙᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ᴀɴ ᴏɴʟɪɴᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴅ ɢᴀᴍᴇ. ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴘᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ $4.99 ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ sᴏ. ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴄᴏɴsɪᴅᴇʀ ᴘᴜᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ɪɴ ᴘᴇʀsᴘᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʙɪɢ ʙᴀʙʏ.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

Hello Kripp, Cattarian here

twitchquotes: CoolCat Hello Kripp, Cattarian here. Since I'm dead, my new family bought me sunglasses and propped me up like in that movie Weekend At Bernie's. How you doing in Canadaland? Playing Grindstone? Been lucky? Not dead like me? Say hello to Rania from me. CoolCat
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp

Hey what's up kripp, it's jeremy your neighbor!

twitchquotes: Hey what's up kripp, it's jeremy your neighbor! I see you're in the office again and playing animated poker - hope everythings well with the wife and garden. Say that lawnmower you borrowed last month; I was wondering when I could expect that back because I noticed your lawn was trimmed no less than three weeks ago but you have yet to bring back my mower. Anyhow , could use that mower. Just checking in but it would be great if I could get that mower back. Thanks again.
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Hello Mr. Morosan! This is the salt truck driver

twitchquotes: ༼ ͠• ل͜ • ༽ ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴍʀ. ᴍᴏʀᴏsᴀɴ! ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sᴀʟᴛ-ᴛʀᴜᴄᴋ-ᴅʀɪᴠᴇʀ. ɪ'ᴍ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇʟɪᴠᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀ ᴏꜰ 69 ᴛᴏɴs ᴏꜰ ᴩᴜʀᴇ sᴀʟᴛ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴀᴍᴏᴜs sᴀʟᴛᴍɪɴᴇ "üʙᴇʀᴋäᴋᴇɴᴋᴏᴛᴢɴ" ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀʟᴩs. ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ'ᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀ ᴍᴏʀᴇ sᴀʟᴛ, ʟᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ! ɢᴏᴏᴅʙʏᴇ sɪʀ! ༼ ͠• ل͜ • ༽
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
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