Search TwitchQuotes
1420 copypastas found. 3 streams found. 1 copypasta tag found.
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
1420 copypastas found.

Apparently I "ruined" Thanksgiving dinner

twitchquotes: Apparently I "ruined" Thanksgiving dinner by bringing my girlfriend Asuka. My mum didn't care that she was a giat robot pilot, tasked with protecting the world after the Second Impact. She insisted that Asuka isn't real and now we're banned from the local country club. Anyways, my mum says if I don't bring a "real" girl to our Christmas dinner I'm going to get kicked out of the house!!! Asuka sets the bar pretty high but if you think you can compete with her please message me :)
twitch chat
May 2019

Weebs

Great job Mods. I am rooting for you always!

twitchquotes: Hey Mods, I hope you can see this message now that the chat has died down. I wanted to say congrats! I know it's hard to manage a TwitchTV chat but I always want to tip my hat off to you guys. Through thick and thin I will still be here to always support you. I know times are hard, but you always come back with a good attitude. I wish you the very best on your next timeouts, and hope you get an even better ban score. I will continue to be here and find new TOS violations as always. Great job Mods. I am rooting for you always! You should be proud.
twitch chat
November 2014

MODS

I love Art of Conquest!

twitchquotes: My $0.99 starter bundle put me well above the other players. But, when I reached the first enemy castle. I couldn't beat it. I checked the in game shop. "BONUS SILVER TROOPS $4.99 EXPIRES IN 3:14:28" I happily spent $4.99. Shortly after I came across an elite boss I couldnt beat. So I checked the in game shop. "BONUS GOLD TROOPS. 5000 RESOURCES. $19.99 EXPIRES IN 1:05:39" It's about to expire! I quickly entered my credit card and bought the bundle, it was such a steal. I love Art of Conquest!
twitch chat
January 2018
Kripp

sellout

If Kripp was a vacation he'd be nl_Tripp

twitchquotes: If Kripp was a vacation he'd be nl_Tripp 4Head If Kripp was a leaky pipe he'd be nl_Dripp 4Head If Kripp didn't wear a shirt he'd be nl_Nipp 4Head
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

Six foot antlers

twitchquotes: I bet all you beta f*gs don't wear antlers either. Science has shown that the male deers with the largest antlers attract the most females, so obviously the exact same principle works for human females. When I walk into the club reeking of sweat with six foot antlers strapped to my head, I get the attention of every female in the room. Pretty much ever man too, that's how powerful the effect is.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

Fedora McTippersen, president of the ultimate gentleman Reddit Group

twitchquotes: Hey there Mister Michael Santana, i'm Fedora McTippersen, president of the ultimate gentleman Reddit Group. We come to contact you in great euphoria to ask if you wanna join us in our path to enlight the world about atheism. Goodnight, M'lord.
twitch chat
February 2015
imaqtpie

What's it like playing against Patron

twitchquotes: Sometimes when I see my opponent drop that Warsong Commander, I quickly turn my volume up to max, let go of my mouse, lean back in my chair and close my eyes. I let the sounds of whirling blades and orc and dwarf voices engulf me and dive into a dream-like state where only I exist, floating through space with a sweet warmth in my belly. It's almost therapeutic.
twitch chat
October 2015
Kolento

Hearthstone

GME $1000 IS NOT A MEME

๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€ UPVOTE/GILD SO PEOPLE CAN SEE ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€ LISTEN TO ME. DO NOT SELL TOMORROW. OR ANY DAY THIS WEEK. Drops are coming. They are counting on fear to beat us. Itโ€™s the only weapon they have on us, but it wonโ€™t work because we are retarded. The people are finally taking the power back from these boomer hedge fund big money shorting douchebags - the same people who fucked everyone over in 2008 with CDOs and continue to fuck you over to this day. Get ready to make Melvin throat hard retard dick. We only have strength if we stay in this TOGETHER. HOLD THE LINE. THE SHORT SQUEEZE HASNT HAPPENED YET. Donโ€™t pussy out you fucking idiots. $1000 IS NOT A MEME. I love you all, you beautiful autistic bulls. Hang tight while we ride this thing into the FUCKING STRATOSPHERE. APES TOGETHER STRONG ๐Ÿฆ ๐Ÿ’Ž ๐Ÿš€
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

Watch Kripp's stream as punishment

twitchquotes: I'm typing this from prison where we are forced to watch Kripp stream as our punishment. If he gets to 12 wins we will all be let go. Otherwise we will be executed tomorrow morning. Please Kripp, we're all rooting for you BlessRNG
twitch chat
May 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

This is agent Kappachino from the Kappa agency

twitchquotes: Hi this is agent Kappachino from the Kappa agency. I would like to inform you that we have detected the KPM (Kappa Per Minute) to be far below the minimum level of 100 KPM. Please fix this by typing Kappa or Kappa agents will be dispatched to donger this stream
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

If that's not his knee then wha...

twitchquotes: If that's not his knee then wha... oh my... Kappa
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

๐Ÿ‘…HAPPY NEW YEARS SLUTS ๐Ÿ†

๐Ÿ‘ฏhey SlutS! ๐Ÿ‘ฏ๐Ÿ’… Now that we got our yearly ๐ŸŽ FUCK ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿผfrom good ole Saint DICK ๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿพ itโ€™s FINALLY New Years Eve!!!๐Ÿ—“๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘… 2๏ธโƒฃ0๏ธโƒฃ2๏ธโƒฃ0๏ธโƒฃ was a LONGG ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ† and HARD ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŠ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜ซ year.... we laughed๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿผ We cried ๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿ‘Ž We coughed ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿค’๐Ÿคง we fucked GOOD๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป dick๐Ÿ† and ๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ˜ตBAD ๐Ÿ˜” dick, ๐Ÿ˜ซ BUTT ๐Ÿ‘ now letโ€™s ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘Celebrate ๐Ÿ™Œ๐ŸŽ‰ and watch that ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ†BIG ๐Ÿ‘… BALL ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿผ Drop ๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ‘„ on us! ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ’ƒ So spread ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ those ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ legs ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ and count down โฌ‡๏ธ from ๐Ÿ”Ÿ until your man ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿพ pops ๐ŸŽ‰ his CORK ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿพ into that thirsty ๐Ÿ‘…thirsty ๐Ÿ‘… hole! ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ Send this to 2๏ธโƒฃ1๏ธโƒฃ COCK-BEGGING โœŠ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ† WHORES to get BUTTFUCKED ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜ฑ for the next 3๏ธโƒฃ6๏ธโƒฃ5๏ธโƒฃ days ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜
August 2021

Emoji Pasta

New Years

Holiday Emoji

NSFW

Holiday

๐ŸŽ„๐ŸŽ„MERRY CHRISTMAS BITCHES๐ŸŽ„๐ŸŽ„!!

๐ŸŽ„๐ŸŽ„MERRY CHRISTMAS BITCHES๐ŸŽ„๐ŸŽ„!! Now that itโ€™s finally DICKmas ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ’ฆSantaโ€™s about to slide ๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ˜‰ down your hot ๐Ÿ”ฅ hot ๐Ÿ”ฅchimney tonight. So lick ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’‹those juicy candy canes and drink up that creamy eggnog๐Ÿผ, itโ€™s about to get wet down at Santaโ€™s workshop๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†! Donโ€™t forgot to slide down that XXXtra ๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿพ๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿพ big North Pole, and make sure your ๐Ÿช cookie ๐Ÿชis yummy enough for Santa to eat๐Ÿ‘„! ๐Ÿ‘€ But are you bad enough to handle Santaโ€™s giant juicy 8=candy๐Ÿ‘Š๐ŸผCOCK=D๐Ÿ’ฆ?? Send this to ๐Ÿ”Ÿ of your baddest bitch elves๐Ÿ’๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿพ If you get 5๏ธโƒฃ back, youre on the naughty list this year๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆ! If you get ๐Ÿ”Ÿ back you better be ready for Santaโ€™s hot โ™จ๏ธCUMlateโ˜•๏ธ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ˜ญ If you get 2๏ธโƒฃ0๏ธโƒฃ back youโ€™ve got the most bitchin ๐Ÿฌpeppermint ๐Ÿฌpussy in the North Pole! โ„๏ธโ›„ Hope you get to blow ๐ŸŒฌ lots of XXXmas ๐ŸŽ„dick, and that you get lots of XXXmas ๐ŸŽ„CUMMIES ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’ HAVE A SLUTTY ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘…DICKMAS YOU HOE HOE HOE!!! ๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿพ๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿฟ๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿฝ๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿผ
April 2022

Emoji Pasta

Christmas

Holiday Emoji

Holiday

KKona boy I was at that darn there

twitchquotes: KKona boy I was at that darn there hootenanny shindig gitten down on some damn there squaredancin, when a fine belle asked me for a dance. Couldn't see nuthin, the damn barn dint have no damn light fixtures. But I knew she was prettier than fresh cooked stew from mama. Boy I tell you, I said yes faster than a one legged gator on a tractor boy I tell you. Once we had a darn tootin time in that darn there doe-see-doe, i took er out 'hind the hay bales. Mmm boi I tooker pants off faster than a hot knife through butter yessir. Lets just say i gave er the ol' Tennessee One Two. We both laid down right there on the spot mmmmboy. Held er nice an tight til mornin light. Opened my eyes and I couldnt believe what I saw! It was my damn sister the whole darn time. I aint opposed to it KKona
twitch chat
October 2018

DAPPER NO

twitchquotes: smallcat why are you so small FeelsGoodMan mellow why are you so cute FeelsGoodMan Lisha i love you FeelsGoodMan DAPPER NO FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
July 2017
imaqtpie

Mr. Morosan's deceptive practices

twitchquotes: Twitch Chat (โ€œChatโ€) respectfully submits this memorandum of law in support of its motion to enjoin Octavian Morosan (โ€œnl_Krippโ€) from distributing false and deceptive advertising for his stream. The "nl" of Mr. Morosan's streaming identity refers to "no life." This is a blatantly deceptive and demonstrably false claim as it can be qualitatively determined that Mr. Morosan does indeed have a life. The Lanham Act merits an injunction preventing Mr. Morosan's deceptive practices.
twitch chat
April 2017
Kripp

I'll do it. I'll stream Final Fantasy

twitchquotes: Kripp is chained to the chair, sobbing as the man hacks at his face with a razor. He cries as the last bit of his beard is cut away, sapping him of his Romanian gypsy powers. "Please don't hurt her. I'll do whatever you want" says Kripp. The man with the razor laughs and says "Are you ready to accept the deal? Or do we need to hurt Pupparian?" Kripp shakes his head. "I'll do it. I'll stream Final Fantasy." WutFace
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

Second breakfast

twitchquotes: "Rania, where's my breakfast?" asks the Kripp. "You already had it!" she replies. "Yes, I've had one, but what about second breakfast?" asks the Kripp. As Rania walks away, Kripp is startled. "I don't think she knows about second breakfast," Kripp panics, "What about brunch, elvensies, afternoon falafel?"
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

This is Noah Legerino, CEO of Never Legend Incorporated

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Legerino, CEO of Never Legend Incorporatedยฉ. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has legend) as you no longer are a "never legend". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing