Popular Copypastas

The exact moment I knew I was gay is when I first started watching SpongeBob. I didn't know what it was about him that made me want him so badly, but every time an episode came on my dick became rock solid. I knew I wanted to do more than merely watch this sponge. I wanted to fuck his tight little juicy asshole. For years, I dreamed of pounding him from behind and filling him with my cum and watching it drip out of his pores. However, no matter how many times I choked my chicken to the mere thought of him, my lust for this sexy succulent sea sponge could not be satisfied. I tried everything, body pillows, dolls, even hiring a prostitute to dress up in a SpongeBob costume and suck my cock. Nothing was good enough. So, I made it my number one goal to create a hyper-realistic SpongeBob sex doll, so my fantasies could finally be brought to life. No longer will those who also have a unquenchable thirst for Mr. SquarePants have to dream of releasing their sticky seed inside of his anal cavity, for they can now enjoy the real thing. But, creating this sex doll would not be an easy task, and this I knew. That's why I need your help to fund this Kickstarter. For donating $20, you get a T-shirt that says "I'm gay for SpongeBob SquarePants." For $40, you get the shirt and a coffee cup decorated with the finest SpongeBob rule 34. For $60, you get SpongeBob anal beads. For $100, you get a SpongeBob fleshlight that you can jizz in or whatever, plus all the other shit. Anything less than $20, and I'll just cum in a shoe box and mail it to your door, because fuck you I don't need your peasant change. I would like to make the world a better place with this SpongeBob sex doll, because I believe that everyone deserves the right to stick their dick in a fictional sponge from a kid's show.