[Copypasta] Horny during Space Jam 2

OK so I was watching space jam 2 and I got RANDOMLY horny. I didnโ€™t wanna exit the movie so I just waited till the Lola scene came up. It came. I started JACKING the SHIT out my pecker. And then.. I ACCIDENTLY NUTTED TO LEBRON๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ
July 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Heaven is the highest you can get

It's 4๏ธโƒฃ2๏ธโƒฃ0๏ธโƒฃ today ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ฑbut I'm not smoking weed ๐ŸŒฟ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ˜ด๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿšฌ I'm smoking ๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿ˜œ the Bible ๐Ÿ˜‡๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ“• because heaven โฌ†๏ธ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜‚ is the highest you can get ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ˜ค
April 2021

Emoji Pasta

VapeNation

Now playing Who Asked (Feat: Nobody)

twitchquotes: now แด˜สŸแด€สษชษดษข: Who asked (Feat: Nobody) โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โšชโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ—„โ—„โ €โ–โ–โ €โ–บโ–บ ๐Ÿธ:๐Ÿท๐Ÿพ / ๐Ÿน:๐Ÿป๐Ÿผโ €โ”€โ”€โ”€โ—‹ ๐Ÿ”Š
twitch chat
February 2020

Classic

Who Asked?

Oh god I want xqc so bad

twitchquotes: Oh god I want xqc so bad ๐Ÿ˜ฉ ๐Ÿ’ฆ he's so smart ๐Ÿค“ ๐Ÿ“š and cute ๐Ÿ˜˜ ๐Ÿ™ˆ I would take him to my apartment and kiss him ๐Ÿ‘„ ๐Ÿ˜˜ lick him ๐Ÿ‘… ๐Ÿ˜› and finger him ๐Ÿ‘‰ ๐Ÿ‘Œ I would fuck him ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ’ฆ then I'd get him pregnant ๐Ÿคฐ ๐Ÿ‘ถ and we'd raise our own little baby ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿ‘ฆ ๐Ÿ‘ฆ and play fortnite with him ๐ŸŽฎ โŒจ๏ธ xd
twitch chat
April 2019
xQcOW

Emoji Pasta

Pickpocket hot tip

twitchquotes: Hot tip: When someone yells pickpocket start searching for your wallet in the groin area and exclaim 'Thank God my wallet is safely tucked between my testicles'. The pickpocket will see this and assume that the wallet is there. These people usually have very supple and delicate hands so when they try to take your wallet you will instead get a pleasant fondling to your genital area.
twitch chat
January 2019

Classic

War Thunder is like playing chess

It's not that the game is addicting, it's just that there are no decent alternatives. War Thunder is basically the intellectual version of the FPS games that all the stupid children and mongoloid brains play. Instead of just being based purely on twitch "skills" which require as much intellectual ability as closing popup spam windows, in War Thunder you have to use at least some tactics and strategy. FPS games are like playing Pong on high speed. War Thunder is like playing chess. The art of gaming is simply dead for big brains. 20 years ago there were tons of games that required brainpower because PC gaming back then was by nerds and for nerds, but then the corporate suits took over and were like "broaden the appeal to we can make more sales" so everything got dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. My GF asked me if I was "having fun" playing War Thunder, and I looked at her like she was a fucking retard to even consider that sentence a valid question. I don't have FUN playing War Thunder. This game routinely pisses me off and makes me rage. However, when I stomp the entire enemy team and crush them so utterly I can hear the lamentations of their mothers, I feel satisfaction. I spent weeks grinding for Operation Winter. The vikings had a word for this. They called it Valhalla. Endless war. Endless combat. Knowing only victory and death. Bathing in the blood of your enemies. You get 15 kills and bask in glory and rewards, and think: what should I do now? Should I get in my Honda Fit and tour the local strip mall for my Triumph? Should I microwave some tendies and throw myself a great Feast? But there is only one option. There is only ever one option. To Battle! Various cultures have alternatively described the gameplay loop of War Thunder as their vision of Heaven or Hell. It is both.
January 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing