[Copypasta] Horny during Space Jam 2

OK so I was watching space jam 2 and I got RANDOMLY horny. I didn’t wanna exit the movie so I just waited till the Lola scene came up. It came. I started JACKING the SHIT out my pecker. And then.. I ACCIDENTLY NUTTED TO LEBRON😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
July 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

American Test Passed

twitchquotes: βœ“ Obesity βœ“ πŸ’₯πŸ”« βœ“ Laziness βœ“ Stupidity βœ“ 🌡 βœ“ McDonald's βœ“ Donald Trump βœ“ $70k College βœ“ Bad healthcare βœ“ Bad food βœ“ Bad music βœ“ Fahrenheit βœ“ Pounds βœ“ Inches βœ“ AMERICAN TEST PASSED
twitch chat
September 2015

Classic

EU vs NA

"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers

"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers, rather it is advice for them. When participating in intense periods of gaming, the human hand has a tendency to get sweaty. The sweat causes the hand to become slick, and it b becomes more difficult to retain a grip on the gamers gaming mouse, thus making it more difficult to perform well in intense gaming moments. By touching grass with the gamers hand, the grass will impart a layer of particulate onto the gamers hand, the particulate can be made of a variety of dusts, dirts and other natural matter. This particulate will then act in a similar form to climbers chalk, absorbing the sweat and drying out the gamers hand. With dry hands, the gamer can now perform to their maximum when gaming. This is why when an enemy or teammate tells you to touch grass, they are simply trying to assist you in performing better.
July 2021

Classic

I'M PIICCKKLEE RIIICKK

twitchquotes: πŸ₯’ IM PIIICKLE πŸ₯’ RIIIIIICK!!! πŸ˜‚ πŸ‘Œ πŸ’― πŸ₯’ IM PIIICKLE πŸ₯’ RIIIIIICK!!! πŸ˜‚ πŸ‘Œ πŸ’― πŸ₯’ IM PIIICKLE πŸ₯’ RIIIIIICK!!! πŸ˜‚ πŸ‘Œ πŸ’―
twitch chat
March 2018

Rick and Morty

Christmas for a wsb trader

As the tree blinks from white to red to green, you look at the void under the tree that previously held presents. Fewer this year than usual, but some. How did you get here? Boredom? In March, you felt trapped with your wife and infant. You needed something to pass the time. Something you could throw yourself into fully. β€œAre you coming to bed?” your wife yells down the stairs. It seemed harmless at first, but as the pandemic drew on, so did your investment. You’ll stop soon, though. β€œSoon!” you reply, and you hear her feet climb the steps. The lights start to blink chaotically. You cringe because you could only afford the junk strands at CVS. Suddenly they haltβ€”the alternation feature brokenβ€”on red. The red fills the room and covers your flesh. You look down at your hands, and they look like they’re bleeding. Like your calls. After a timeβ€”hours?β€”you realize you’re sitting in complete darkness. Your lights have expired, worthless.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Text-to-Speech Playing