[Copypasta] Horny during Space Jam 2

OK so I was watching space jam 2 and I got RANDOMLY horny. I didn’t wanna exit the movie so I just waited till the Lola scene came up. It came. I started JACKING the SHIT out my pecker. And then.. I ACCIDENTLY NUTTED TO LEBRON😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
July 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

I am a concerned mother with a 13 year old child (among us)

I am a concerned mother with a 13 year old child and I am here to seek help regarding my son. Last week when we went to the supermarket, my son pointed to a red trash can and started jumping around screaming “THAT’S AMONG US! THAT TRASH CAN IS SUS! RED IS THE IMPOSTOR!” As soon as he did that, the manager told us to leave. I told him that my son is just excited about something, and apologised. But the manager still told us to leave so I picked up the red trash can that my son was going crazy over and threw it on the managers head. Then my son shouted “DEAD BODY REPORTED.” Can someone please tell me what on earth is wrong with him?
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today

I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my Übernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.
July 2021

Classic

I want to date Poki

twitchquotes: Hi poki :heart: i just wanted to say i really love you and i want to go on a date with you i’m the one who drops 20$ on your stream everyday you can dm if you want :relaxed: i have the last 130$ on my paypal that i’m gonna drop next stream just so we can meet ilysm i want to date really bad
twitch chat
June 2020

Simps

PJSalt

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣶⣶⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⣡⣽⡳⡄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⢿⣷⣴⣿⣷⡹⣿⣿⣞⣆⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠴⣾⣿⡿⢋⣉⣿⣿⠻⣿⣷⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡘⣿⣿⡞⡄ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡟⠳⣮⢻⣧⡘⠿⣿⣿⡸⠝⢿⣿⡌⠟⣉⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠈⠷⡹⣿⣶⡄⠹⣧⠰⣦⣹⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡇⡀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡹⣿⠋⣰⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠚⢡⠃ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡀⣽⣦⠀⠀⢱⢹⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⢹⣻⡽⠿⠛⢉⠠⠔⠊⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡈⠇⠡⠀⠀⡆⣿⣟⣠⠴⠚⠉⣀⠤⠒⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠤⡀⠀⠑⣌⠂⠀⢀⣇⠇⠉⣀⠤⠒⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠠⠊⠁⠀⠈⠰⢄⠈⠙⠿⠻⠞⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢠⣊⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠗⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠉⠒⠁⠒⠒⠒⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
September 2020

salty

Now I have to mod this chat?

twitchquotes: chat, I was in the middle of curling a 75lb dumbbell and climbing into my ferrari when I noticed you guys spamming dogshit in chat. I was about to go hangout with one of my 4 smoking hot gfs and now I have to mod this chat? Pathetic
twitch chat
August 2020

MODS

Text-to-Speech Playing