[Copypasta] Horny during Space Jam 2

OK so I was watching space jam 2 and I got RANDOMLY horny. I didn’t wanna exit the movie so I just waited till the Lola scene came up. It came. I started JACKING the SHIT out my pecker. And then.. I ACCIDENTLY NUTTED TO LEBRON😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
July 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Only a true failure can fail to build a pyramid!

twitchquotes: FeelsBadMan Only a true failure can fail to build a pyramid! FeelsBadMan FeelsBadMan May as well not even bother! FeelsBadMan FeelsBadMan FeelsBadMan And Still my pyramid sucks so very much! FeelsBadMan FeelsBadMan FeelsBadMan FeelsBadMan I really am the worst!
twitch chat
July 2020

I want JPow to use his full range of tools on me 😫

I want JPow to use his full range of tools on me 😫
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Sneaky and Meteos fan fic

twitchquotes: "zach, i can't do this anymore!" meteos cries from his side of the bed. sneaky's eyes widen in shock at the sudden outburst "w-what do you mean, will?" "i'm tired of being your side piece," he cries, "i want to be your one and only." the younger man's face flushes. "will," he starts. "i love you." he digs through the night stand and pulls out a ring. "will you marry me?" "yes!" meteos cries out with joy. he plants a kiss on his lover's cheek, full of tenderness. they are pure passion incarnate.
twitch chat
July 2020
Sneaky

War Thunder is like playing chess

It's not that the game is addicting, it's just that there are no decent alternatives. War Thunder is basically the intellectual version of the FPS games that all the stupid children and mongoloid brains play. Instead of just being based purely on twitch "skills" which require as much intellectual ability as closing popup spam windows, in War Thunder you have to use at least some tactics and strategy. FPS games are like playing Pong on high speed. War Thunder is like playing chess. The art of gaming is simply dead for big brains. 20 years ago there were tons of games that required brainpower because PC gaming back then was by nerds and for nerds, but then the corporate suits took over and were like "broaden the appeal to we can make more sales" so everything got dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. My GF asked me if I was "having fun" playing War Thunder, and I looked at her like she was a fucking retard to even consider that sentence a valid question. I don't have FUN playing War Thunder. This game routinely pisses me off and makes me rage. However, when I stomp the entire enemy team and crush them so utterly I can hear the lamentations of their mothers, I feel satisfaction. I spent weeks grinding for Operation Winter. The vikings had a word for this. They called it Valhalla. Endless war. Endless combat. Knowing only victory and death. Bathing in the blood of your enemies. You get 15 kills and bask in glory and rewards, and think: what should I do now? Should I get in my Honda Fit and tour the local strip mall for my Triumph? Should I microwave some tendies and throw myself a great Feast? But there is only one option. There is only ever one option. To Battle! Various cultures have alternatively described the gameplay loop of War Thunder as their vision of Heaven or Hell. It is both.
January 2021

Why am I always being put in the friend zone

twitchquotes: Why am I always being put in the friend zone. I'm a nice guy, work a nice job, and would do anything for m'lady. In the end these girls always go after DOUCHEBAG guys who treat them like shit, and only talk to me to cry about it. I'm sick of being considered 'beta' or whatever you call it.
twitch chat
November 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing