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I hate myself and my life

twitchquotes: I hate myself and my life, but instead of improving either of those things, I'm drinking alone while watching a rich, balding vegan play children's card games for 15 thousand other losers FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
July 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

GET THE PEPPER OFF

I ain't never seen no mustard on that, but it might be good though, my dad would know better, boutta get him. Aww, mustard! Come on man, now don't put no mustard on that, you need to put a little season on that thing! WHAT! Man come on get that pepper off there! Come on, somebody come get this man! Come on now, come on get that pepper of there, that's just too much doggone pepper. I don't wanna see this no more! Oh, what happened oh. GOD! OH MY GOD! BOY WHY YOU PUTTING THAT PEPPER ON THERE?TAKE THAT OFF OF THERE. GET THE PEPPER OFF! ACHA!!
July 2021
I used to be a real ad

The current meta is so good STUNNED

twitchquotes: hey chat *STUNNED* the current *STUNNED* meta is so *STUNNED* good, as a *STUNNED* tank main i *STUNNED* find myself *STUNNED* getting more *STUNNED* compliments for *STUNNED* shatters
twitch chat
July 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Go mods, keep up the good work!

twitchquotes: The mods are doing a good job of stopping the copying and pasting trolls. It's a shame that people ruin an entire chat with their immature behavior. Go mods, keep up the good work!
twitch chat
September 2018

MODS

Forsen enters his bedroom and notices something unusual

twitchquotes: Forsen enters his bedroom and notices something unusual. In his bed lays a 6/3 Reynad in stealth. Forsen has no answer for this play. He passes his turn and prepares himself for the donger of destiny.Kappa Kappa
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen
I used to be a real ad

I officially hate Twitch

twitchquotes: I officially hate Twitch. I worked so hard all day to make a copy pasta that would take the OWL by storm. But no one is considerate enough to copy it with me. Maybe I should just spam J LUL K E like the rest of you sheep
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Spamming aliens and octopuses

twitchquotes: Honestly, chat, you guys are so immature. Do you really think you can affect the outcome of the game by spamming aliens and octopuses? You're really degrading my twitch experience with your mindless crowd mentality. Please stop, or else...
twitch chat
September 2018

Rhyme Chant

Your league knowledge is insane Jack and LS fanfic

"Your league knowledge is insane." Jack said, as he slipped his feminine hand into LS's pants and smirked. "Are you trying to mate me?" protests LS, as Jack blushes, the boyish figure undressed before LS. "Weak gank attempt, Jack." The two kissed, deeply and passionately, and afterwards LS places his Renekton into Jack's bottom lane.
April 2022
imls

League of Legends

Twitch chat is the reason esports...

twitchquotes: Twitch chat is the reason esports will never be taken seriously. people simply spam unoriginal comments and spout dead memes and it really hinders the experience for spectators and professionals such as myself.
twitch chat
September 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

DO A BACKFLIP

97%, of teenagers would cry if they saw Justin Bieber standing on top of a building about to jump. "If you are the 3% sitting there with popcorn, screaming "DO A BACKFLIP," Repost this.
December 2020
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

I hate MORBIUS. I HATE IT

Oh for the love of God. Enough with the MORBIUS. Whatโ€™s even the joke???? โ€œHahahaha hey guys the movie sucks but I pretend itโ€™s goodโ€???? THATS NOT EVEN A FUCKING JOKE. Holy shit my dick is going to fall out of its foreskin if I have to hear, โ€œhehe itโ€™s morbin timeโ€ ONE MORE TIME. Not only is it NOT funny, IT DOESNT EVEN MAKE SENSE. THE POWER RANGERS HAVENT BEEN RELEVANT IN DECADES. MORBIUS SUCKS THE MOVIE IS COMPLETE TRASH AND IM ASHAMED TO HAVE SPENT MONEY ON IT. You knowโ€ฆ. I never would have seen the movie without all of these โ€œmemesโ€(unfunny shitposts). I would have been a MUCH HAPPIER PERSON. So fuck your โ€œMORBIUSโ€ your โ€œmighty morbin more morbs morbidly MORBIUS BULLSHITโ€ NO ONE CARES, YOU ARENT FUNNY. Does not a singular human being have any independent thought anymore???? โ€œMorb morb morb morbโ€ youโ€™re like a BUNCH OF SEAGULLS. SEA GULLS. What the FUCK does โ€œmorbinโ€ even mean????? ITS NOT A WORD. ITS JUST GOBBLE GOOP. I feel like I am the last truly sentient human being on earth. IM BEING DRIVEN TO THE BRINK OF INSANITY. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. TAKE YOUR MORBIUS BULLSHIT, SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS, AND GO OUTSIDE. Maybe if you went outside you could get โ€œmorbโ€ bitches on your dick??!!! YOU LIKE THAT, YOU SEE WHAT YOUVE REDUCED ME INTO. I am a shell of a man and all of you collectively are to blame.This meme has spread like a debilitating illness AND I CANT GET AWAY FROM IT. THE FALL OF WESTERN SOCIETY IS HERE AND THIS COMPLETE UNFUNNY DRIBBLE OF A MEME IS PART OF THE PROBLEM. WHAT THE FUCK DOES โ€œgETtiNg MoRBedโ€ EVEN MEAN. it makes ZERO SENSE. ITS JUST GIBBERISH. FUCKING GIBB ER ISH. ITS NOT FUNNY. Saying โ€œmorbโ€ LIKE ITS ITS OWN PUNCHLINE IS NOT COMEDY. IT IS COMEDIC AND CULTURAL DEGRADATION. Are we really so stunted as a generation that even the mention of any word that starts with m-o-r-b is FUNNY??? IN WHAT FUCKING UNIVERSE. Is it funny because it isnโ€™t funny because praising something bad is now good??????? HOW MANY LAYERS OF IRONY DO WE NEED. HOW FAR DOES THE RABBIT HOLE GO. This website has stripped me of EVERY LAST BRAINCELL. GOING ON REDDIT FEELS LIKE IM GETTING A SUPER HERO INDUCED LOBOTOMY. I hate MORBIUS. I HATE IT. I know Iโ€™m just going to get FLOODED WITH โ€œget morbed, this guy got morbed, what morb does to a manโ€ HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHQHQHAHAHAHAHAHWHHSHWBSQIISHWINSIQKSBDD SSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNNNNNNNYYYYYYY AGAGAGGAGHHHHHHHHH
July 2022

Morbius

NEVER, EVER COPYPASTA IN MY CHANNEL AGAIN

twitchquotes: To Twitch Chat: NEVER, EVER COPYPASTA IN MY CHANNEL AGAIN OR YOU WILL SUFFER CONSEQUENCES THE LIKES OF WHICH FEW THROUGHOUT TWITCH HISTORY HAVE EVER SUFFERED BEFORE. WE ARE NO LONGER A CHANNEL THAT WILL STAND FOR YOUR DEMENTED MEMES ABOUT ASS & DICKS. BE CAUTIOUS!
twitch chat
September 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

GIDDY UP SEXMAS

December 2023

Holiday Emoji

Emoji Pasta

Christmas

The focus of a champion

twitchquotes: Sometimes I think the stream froze, but nope. Its just Michael Santana staring into the monitor and mouth breathing while remaining perfectly still. The focus of a champion.
twitch chat
July 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Corridor creeper

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ›In the dungeon I go deeper๐Ÿ›in set reviews I was a sleeper๐Ÿ›when minions die I get cheaper๐Ÿ›You guessed it right๐Ÿ›I'm corridor creeper๐Ÿ›
twitch chat
August 2018

Hearthstone

What happened to this ad? :(

OMG that was not a c9 plat chat

twitchquotes: OMG that was not a c9 plat chat ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ you see, I know what a c9 is because I'm a low diamond and understand concepts such as c9, reset, dive and goats, unlike you PLATS ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘Œ
twitch chat
May 2019

Overwatch

Trolling My Dad's Office with Among Us (Office Series Part 6, Finale Part 3)

The other day, it was โ€œtake your kid to work dayโ€ at my dadโ€™s job. It was really epic and poggers because I got to skip school for it. As we were walking in, I couldnโ€™t help but notice that the company logo roughly resembled a crewmate from the popular game, Among Us. I asked my father, โ€œIs this the Among Us but real??โ€ My dad replied โ€œNo, son, this is the Pepsico corporate office.โ€ As we entered the building, my dad said โ€œSon, I have a lot of work to do today. You can hang out with the other kids or play on your phone, just please stay on this floor.โ€ He then entered the elevator and left. I turned to the other kids (who were all playing on their phones) and said โ€œDoes anyone wanna play some Among Us?โ€ However, no one else wanted to play. I was getting bored, so I decided to explore around a little bit. I walked into the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor.As the elevator door opened, I saw what appeared to be a long hallway. As I was walking down it, I found a door that was labeled โ€œExecutive Meeting Roomโ€. The door was unlocked, so I walked in and there were about 15 people in suits and ties around a table. They all looked up at me in confusion. One of them asked me โ€œHey buddy, are you lost?โ€ I noticed that his nametag read โ€œHugh Johnson, CFOโ€. โ€œDoes CFO stand for Chungus Fortnite Officer?โ€, I asked. โ€œNo, it does not. And where is your parent? Go back to the bottom floor young man!โ€ He was yelling at me. So I said โ€œYouโ€™re sus. I should eject you, Hugh Johnson. Do you have aโ€ฆ HUGE JOHNSON?! Thatโ€™s funny like Big Chungus, which is the Bugs Bunny from Looney Tunes but a big rabbit!โ€ I laughed. Everyone was looking up at me in shock when I said โ€œWanna play some Among Us guys?โ€ The CEO, a very sexy woman, ooga booga awooga, said โ€œYoung man, go back to the first floor now!โ€ But the sexy woman I just couldnโ€™t listen to as I admired her. โ€œNo, because you have big tits.โ€ Her jaw dropped, and she said, โ€œYoung man, this is an important meeting. Get the fuck out!โ€ She then used the intercom to call security. Coming to the realization that I was running out of time, I pulled down my pants to show everyone my Among Us underwear. I jumped up onto the meeting table and started twerking (to make sure everyone saw my among us underwear I got for Christmas) and said โ€œDo you like what you see?โ€ Everyone was yelling at me to get out as I was twerking. โ€œIโ€™m so hot~~~~โ€ I said. The yelling got louder. I ran out of the door and closed it, hoping that security wouldnโ€™t find me. I quickly ran into the elevator and went down.
March 2021

Trolling with Among Us

Among Us / Amogus

๐Ÿ‘ฝ ๐Ÿ“ž HELLO SINATRAA ๐Ÿ‘ฝ

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ‘ฝ ๐Ÿ“ž HELLO SINATRAA ๐Ÿ‘ฝ ๐Ÿ“ž PLANET A92-E HERE ๐Ÿ‘ฝ ๐Ÿ“ž PLEASE RETURN TO US ๐Ÿ‘ฝ ๐Ÿ“ž
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Now I have to mod this chat?

twitchquotes: chat, I was in the middle of curling a 75lb dumbbell and climbing into my ferrari when I noticed you guys spamming dogshit in chat. I was about to go hangout with one of my 4 smoking hot gfs and now I have to mod this chat? Pathetic
twitch chat
August 2020

MODS

I used to be a real ad

The tragedy of Darth Pepega

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Pepega the Retarded? I thought not. It's not a story the High Elo players would tell you. It's a Silver legend. Darth Pepega was a Dark Lord of the Silver, so boosted and so retarded he could use his Flame to influence the outcome of the game... He had such a knowledge of the flame, he could even keep the ones who tried to carry him from winning. The dark side of the Mental is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught a rioter everything he knew, then the rioter banned him in his sleep. Ironic. He could grant the enemy team LP, but not himself.
twitch chat
August 2019

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing