I ain't never seen no mustard on that, but it might be good though, my dad would know better, boutta get him.
Aww, mustard! Come on man, now don't put no mustard on that, you need to put a little season on that thing! WHAT! Man come on get that pepper off there! Come on, somebody come get this man! Come on now, come on get that pepper of there, that's just too much doggone pepper. I don't wanna see this no more!
Oh, what happened oh. GOD! OH MY GOD! BOY WHY YOU PUTTING THAT PEPPER ON THERE?TAKE THAT OFF OF THERE. GET THE PEPPER OFF! ACHA!!
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas
Cinco de Mayo Emoji Pasta v4
It’s CincHOE🎉 de mayHOE😈😘but all I want 🙏🏻 is cinco🖐️5️⃣ DICKS 🌯🍆💦 in my May-OUTH 😩👅💦 Today the SEXicans 😍🇲🇽 beat the French 😒🇫🇷 at the Battle of Puebla 🔫☠ and now you’re gonna get your piñata beat 😜😩 Time to sink this Mexican🇲🇽 dick🍆 into that dirty😳 chihuahua pussy🐶 but❗️ONLY❗️ if you send 📲 this to 5️⃣ amigos 👬 you’d cross borders ➡️ for 👌🏻💯 Get 5️⃣ back 🔙 and you’ll find the Juan for you tonight ❤️☺️😘
Cinco de Mayo
Emoji Pasta
Holiday Emoji
Holiday
The tragedy of United Airlines the Overbooked
twitchquotes:
Did you ever hear the tragedy of United Airlines the Overbooked? I thought not. It’s not a story the CEO would tell you. It’s a sky legend. United Airlines was an Airline of the sky, so powerful and so overbooked he could use Force to influence the passengers to give up their seats… He had such a knowledge of the police that he could even keep the employees he cared about from not having a seat. The police's use of Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his seat, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice KO'd him and took his seat. Ironic. He could save others from losing their seats, but not himself.
twitch chat
Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise
Why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911
Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
Here's why:
Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead.
Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it.
Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12.
And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal.
Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger?
Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova.
Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound.
I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series:
"Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1."
And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
Lea moans over Reynad's powerful Hearthstone thighs
twitchquotes:
Lᴇᴀ ɪs ᴍᴏᴀɴɪɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴛʜʀᴜsᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴏᴡᴇʀғᴜʟ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛʜsᴛᴏɴᴇ ᴛʜɪɢʜs ᴀɴᴅ 8.5 ɪɴᴄʜ (ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀsᴇ) ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ. Sʜᴇ sᴄʀᴇᴀᴍs ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴏʟʟ ʜᴇʀ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴏᴘ ᴅᴇᴄᴋ ʜᴇʀ. Hᴇʀ ᴍᴏɪsᴛ ᴛᴏᴍᴀᴛᴏ sᴀᴜᴄᴇ ɢᴜsʜᴇs ᴀʟʟ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀᴏɴɪs ᴀs sʜᴇ ʀᴜɴs ʜᴇʀ ғɪɴɢᴇʀɴᴀɪʟs ᴅᴏᴡɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɴᴀᴋᴇᴅ, ʜᴀɪʀʟᴇss, ʙᴏʏ-ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴄʜᴇsᴛ. Pʟᴇᴀsᴇ ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ.
twitch chat
Reynad
Kripp you shaggy looking plant eating bum
twitchquotes:
Kripp you shaggy looking plant eating bum i bet you can't even afford a real fedora like mine or treat a fine gal to a meal you smelly hobo *walks away turns around tips fedora and continues walking*
twitch chat
Kripp