[Copypasta] Christian Father is concerned with Fortnite

twitchquotes: Hello everyone, concerned Christian father here. Recently, my 11 year old son downloaded the video game "Fortnite" after playing it at a friend's house. While I didn't mind at first, it soon began to affect his character. Within a week, he had taken up hard drugs and smoking. When asked to do his homework, he called me a "default" and did a strange dance. His grades have been dropping heavily ever since that day and now he's threatening me with violence. Yesterday I entered his room to see him smoking a cigar and playing extremely loud rave (sinner) music, he has dyed his hair blue and neow refuses to go to Bible Study unless we "take the battle bus". I don't know what that is but he refuses to take any form of transport except that. Please I am so concerned, what do I do?
twitch chat
January 2019

Fortnite

I used to be a real ad
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Imagine Fortnite Jonesy in Smash

Imagine this: You're watching the new Nintendo Direct. As it begins you hope to see the new smash reveal, and are hoping you get the character you so desperately wanted, whether it's Crash Bandicoot or Sora. The trailer begins with the classic smash opening. As you watch the trailer, you begin to feel hope that your dream may have come true. But then, at the part where the character is revealed, you hear a bus horn, and wonder "Is it coming from outside?" But no. It's from the trailer. You watch a manly figure drop out of the sky, landing gracefully in front of the characters he is about to defeat. It gazes upon his sharp-bladed pickaxe, his luxurious blond hair, and his shining silver dog tags. As the sun fades away, you finally see who it really was: It was Jonesy from Fortnite. It's a long shot, I know. But imagine.
September 2021

Fortnite

Super Smash Bros

Fortnite default dance 2

⠀⠀⠀⣀⣶⣀ ⠀⠀⠀⠒⣛⣭ ⠀⠀⠀⣀⠿⣿⣶ ⠀⣤⣿⠤⣭⣿⣿ ⣤⣿⣿⣿⠛⣿⣿⠀⣀ ⠀⣀⠤⣿⣿⣶⣤⣒⣛ ⠉⠀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⠉ ⠀⠀⣭⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿ ⠀⣶⣿⣿⠛⠀⣿⣿ ⣤⣿⣿⠉⠤⣿⣿⠿ ⣿⣿⠛⠀⠿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣤⠀⣿⣿⠿ ⠀⣿⣿⣶⠀⣿⣿⣶ ⠀⠀⠛⣿⠀⠿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⣉⣿⠀⣿⣿ ⠀⠶⣶⠿⠛⠀⠉⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⣿⠿
ascii art
November 2018

Fortnite Default Dance

Fortnite

The default Fortnite dance is truly a masterpiece

twitchquotes: The default dance is truly a masterpiece. Never, in all of history, has such an artistic masterpiece ever been created. The choreography is possibly the most beautiful sight ever beheld by the human eye. The sharp sound of the SLAP when the player’s hands collide perfectly with the beat of the song sends a bone chilling shiver down my spine, every single time I hear it. I find my self watching my in-game avatar performing this phenomenal dance ritual for hours on end.
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

This is the shittiest reply ever

twitchquotes: This is the shittiest reply ever. Fortnite requires movement, editing, building, rotating, and hitting shots. There are not “positions” in Fortnite. A kickers job is LITERALLY to kick. Horrible analogy, kind of embarrassing.
twitch chat
December 2019

Fortnite

what is a fortnight?

twitchquotes: Hello I’m Jeff a father of a 12 year old boy one day my son asked me to get a free game called fortnight at first I was ok with me but his intelligence started to slowly disappear after two months and now he is calling me a default and doing satanic movements around the house please send help
twitch chat
December 2019

Fortnite

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