[Copypasta] I was born with glass bones and paper skin

twitchquotes: haHAA I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep. haHAA
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August 2017
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Pikachu

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–„β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–Œβ–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
November 2014

Pokemon

Yoshi with Mario's body

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–„β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–„β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–„β–“β–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–€β–„β–„β–„β–€β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–‘ β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–€β–€β–„ β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–ˆβ–„β–’β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–€β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–“β–“β–“β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–€β–€β–„β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–ˆβ–„β–“β–“β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–’β–’ β–’β–’β–€β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–„β–„β–€β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–“β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’
September 2018

You can't stop what's coming leafboy

You can't stop what's coming leafboy. I walk all over leaves every autumn, you think this year will be any different? Your flag is a fucking leaf. You chose the one part of the tree that dies every year. Not only that, but it's one of hundreds of leaves, thousands if it's a big tree. All dead come winter. Every winter. A vicious cycle. Totally insignificant. As soon as the tree has had it's way with you you are cast to the Earth to be trod by all other living things. Ants? They not only stomp about you, they will steal your corpse and use it for their people. Birds steal your lifeless shell with impunity. Leaves not only die once, but every year. A brave man dies only once, but leaves die a thousand deaths, or at least 20 or 30 if the tree lives that long. Perhaps more. Every year, leafs crunch beneath my boot. This year shall be no different. So it shall be written. So it shall be done. The day of the rake is at hand because every day is the day of the rake and has always been.
January 2021

New banger (from r/conservativerap)

Aye πŸ˜‚ Yuh πŸ‘ŒπŸΎπŸ‘€ Uh πŸ˜”πŸ˜€ Skrrrt πŸ’¨πŸ€” I πŸ‘ hate 😑 people πŸ‘« who have a different 😑 skin πŸ’…πŸ»πŸ‘‘ color 🎨 from me (x32) instrumental 🎺 break πŸ’” I πŸ‘πŸ‘€ hate 😑🌚 people πŸ‘« who have a different πŸ‘€β“β‰ skin πŸ’…πŸ»πŸ‘‘ color πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ from me (x32)
June 2021

Emoji Pasta

To be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand The Bible

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Bible. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jesus’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Bible truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in God’s existential catchphrase "Never trust anyone completely but God." which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as King James's genius wit unfolds itself on the pages. What fools.. how I pity them. πŸ˜‚ And yes by the way, I DO have a Bible tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
August 2021
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