[Copypasta] I was born with glass bones and paper skin

Squidward

─────▄████████████▄──── ───▄▄█░░░░░░░░░░░░█▄─── ───█░░░░█████████░░█▄── ─██░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██─ ██░░█████████████░░░░██ █░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░█ █░░░████░█████░░░░░░░░█ █░░████████████░░░░░░░█ █░░█─██─█─██──██░░░░░░█ ▀▄░█─▀▀─█─▀▀──█░░░░░▄█▀ ─▀██▄▄▄▄█▄────█░░▄▄█▀── ─▄█░░░░░░█▄▄▄▄▀░░█───── ▄█░░░░░░█▀░░░░░░░▀▀█▄── █░░░░░░█▌░▄██████▄░░█── █░░░░░░░███████████░█── █░░░░░░░██░░█░░░██░░█── ▀█░░░░░██░░░░░░██░░█─── ─▀▀▀▀▀█░████████░░█──── ──────▀▄░░░░░░░░░█─────

ascii art

August 2018

ACHOO! Sorry, did I spray you?

ACHOO! Sorry, did I spray you? 💦😉 🧻Corona🤧 is CUMMING💦 for us and you’ve just tested 😱positive🦠 for being 💋NAUGHTY😉 🙅‍♀️Social distancing is in effect🚫 and I want to spend my 🤷‍♂️quarenTEEN🔞 with YOU 😍 So grab your 🧴isopropyl-lubricant 💦 and CUM👅 over so I can administer👩‍⚕️ your treatment😉 and inject💉 you with the vaccine🍆 We’ll spend the 🗝lockdown🔒 flattening the curve📉 and FATTENING DEM’ 👏🏿 CURVES 🍑 Get ready for 14 days of 💯THICC DICC DIAGNOSTICS😭 and sitting on my facemask😷 Send this ✉️ to covid-19 of your sloppiest 💦💦SYMPTOMATIC🤒 SLUTS🤫 If you get 5 back, you’re a Wuhan bat🦇 bitch 👎 If you get 10 back, you’re a 😉horny💄healthy💪hoe😘 If you get all 19 back👏 your ass🍑 is the ANTIDOTE💊 and it’s in high demand 👬🏿

March 2020

Emoji Pasta

Coronavirus

COVID

Donald Trump answers what is 2+2?

Donald Trump answers the question: What is 2+2? "I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, "What's 2+2"? And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh my god, I can't believe it. Addition and subtraction of the 1s the 2s and the 3s. Its terrible. Its just terrible. Look, if you want to know what 2+2 is, do you want to know what 2+2 is? I'll tell you. First of all the number 2, by the way I love the number 2. It's probably my favorite number, no it is my favorite number. You know what, it's probably more like the number two but with a lot of zeros behind it. A lot. If I'm being honest, I mean, if I'm being honest. I like a lot of zeros. Except for Marco Rubio, now he's a zero that I don't like. Though, I probably shouldn't say that. He's a nice guy but he's like, "10101000101", on and on, like that. He's like a computer! You know what I mean? He's like a computer. I don't know. I mean, you know. So, we have all these numbers and we can add them and subtract them and add them. TIMES them even. Did you know that? We can times them OR divide them, they don't tell you that, and I'll tell you, no one is better at the order of operations than me. You wouldn't believe it. That I can tell you. So, we're gonna be the best on 2+2, believe me. OK? Alright. Thank you."

October 2016

Donald Trump

This chat is the dumbest group of people i've ever seen

twitchquotes: This chat is the dumbest group of people i've ever seen. I work with mentally handicapped people and i've been all over the world. I have been to beauty pageants and monster truck events. I have met a kid with an IQ of 8. I have even met President George W. Bush. But this chat is truly the most retarded thing I have ever encountered.

twitch chat

November 2014

Kripp

I hate Twitch Chat

Trump captains Australian TSM division

twitchquotes: Today pro-gaming team TSM announced that their star Hearthstone player Jeffrey "Trump" Shih will be moving to Australia to captain their new division, AuTSM. Way to go Trump!

twitch chat

January 2015

Trump

[Copypasta] I was born with glass bones and paper skin

Squidward

ACHOO! Sorry, did I spray you?

Emoji Pasta

Coronavirus

COVID

Donald Trump answers what is 2+2?

Donald Trump

This chat is the dumbest group of people i've ever seen

I hate Twitch Chat

Trump captains Australian TSM division

Confirm Subscription