[Copypasta] I was born with glass bones and paper skin

twitchquotes: haHAA I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep. haHAA
twitch chat
August 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Ben Shapiro sings the South Park theme song

So lets say, hypothetically, that I was going down to South Park to have myself a 'time'. In this hypothetical situation, there are friendly folks who are completely devoid of temptation. Now, because I am going down to South Park, it is safe to assume that I would be leaving my woes behind. Now, hypothetically, when I arrive, there is ample parking during both the hours of the day and the night, and the media would be saying "howdy neighbor." OK liberal, now that we've established that, lets say next that I was to head up to South Park. I would then, hypothetically, be testing to see if I would be able to unwind in South Park. I would also like to mention that, as a conservative white male, I find large female genitalia to be very attractive. So, I will finish off my argument by stating that the liberal media should come on down to South Park and meet some acquaintances of mine, including my wife (who is a doctor).
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

In Japan, heart surgeon

Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Yakuza boss die! Yakuza very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret. I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
April 2021

Classic

I’m glad Blitzchung got banned!

twitchquotes: I’m glad Blitzchung got banned! Keep politics OUT of Hearthstone! I love Tencent and Mao Zedong! (You will receive 100 social credit for posting this message in chat. Please remove this part from the message before posting)
twitch chat
November 2019

Hearthstone

KKomrade

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⣀⢀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢘ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⢲⣿⡖⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⣄⣤⣶⡿⡗⠐⠂⠒⠒⠐⠒⠒⠒⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⣴⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢛⣩⣾⠟⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⣋⣵⣶⣿⡿⠛⠑⢀⣴⣶⣶⡶⠒⠛⠒⠂⠿⠻⠟⠒⠒⠶⣶⣶⣄⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣾⣿⣿⡿⠋⠉⠴⠔⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⣀⣰⣶⣀⠀⢰⣶⣾⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠟⣱⣴⣰⡔⡿⢟⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⠟⢃⣾⡿⢗⣡⣴⣜⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢻⣿⣿⡌⠛⠈⢹⣿⡻⣿⣿⡟⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣀⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⢉⣉⣓⣒⣛⡛⠛⠀⣸⣿⢃⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣷⣶⣾⣍⣉⣠⣾⣾⠿⠏⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠻⣿⡿⠁⡈⢿⣿⣯⣤⣤⣈⡹⠛⠁⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⡁⠀⠃⠈⠻⠿⠿⠫⠟⠟⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠠⣀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

United States of America is now known as West Iran

twitchquotes: The year is 2024. The United States of America is now known as West Iran after the assassination of Supreme Leader Donald Trump from drone warfare. I hide in my nuclear bunker, praying to God that I survive another night. I open my laptop and see Kripp streaming some HS battlegrounds, still forcing murlocs and hardstuck at 7k MMR. "Still never lucky, huh old friend..." I whisper to myself as the bombs fall outside...
twitch chat
February 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

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