[Copypasta] I was born with glass bones and paper skin

twitchquotes: haHAA I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep. haHAA
twitch chat
August 2017
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

If you watch good anime, you're a real anime fan

twitchquotes: Imagine thinking as long as you watch anime, you're a anime fan, lol what a joke. There are levels to this, if you watch bad anime and have bad taste, you're not a real anime fan. If you watch good anime and have good taste like me, you're a real anime fan. Truth hurts. #anime
twitch chat
October 2020

Weebs

Hippo

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β€ƒβ€ƒβ–’β–’β–’β€ƒβ€ƒβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β€ƒβ€ƒβ–’β–’β€ƒβ€ƒβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆ(◐)β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β€ƒβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β€ƒβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β€ƒβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β€ƒβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
November 2014

This is the Hygiene Police

twitchquotes: (β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β–€ΜΏ ΜΏ) This is the Hygiene Police, we have reason to suspect you didn't wash your hands after exiting the bathroom. Please prepare for a full body cavity search. (β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β–€ΜΏ ΜΏ)
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

I fucked Up DVD

Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken DVD over and realized that it was not a blank DVD, but a copy of the Pixar movie Up.. Well guys, guess I fucked up.
April 2022

Classic

Brofist and crofist

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, I am a lawyer and I represent StrifeCro. I notice that your 'brofist' is strikingly similar to StrifeCro's 'crofist'. Given that StrifeCro owns the 'fisting' patent, I request that you immediately cease and desist from 'brofisting' any more subs, or my client will take you to court. Yours sincerely, Eddie Barristerino.
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp
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