[Copypasta] I was born with glass bones and paper skin

twitchquotes: haHAA I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep. haHAA
twitch chat
August 2017
I used to be a real ad
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After Reynad uses pictures of his forehead for Tinder...

twitchquotes: After Reynad began using only pictures of his forehead for his Tinder account, his amount of female attention increased drastically. One woman was particularly ready to hop in bed with him. "I'm going to make so much money off of this thirsty Ukrainian!" she said to herself. Unfortunately for her she left her phone on with Andrey's Tinder profile open and his forehead heard her. She "disappeared" within the week.
twitch chat
November 2015
Reynad

EZ Clap

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⢩⣴⣶⣶⣶⣌⠙⠫⠛⢋⣭⣤⣤⣤⣤⡙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢡⣾⣿⠿⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⡳⠆⢻⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠷⡌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣰⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠒⠄⢶⣶⣶⣾⡿⠶⠒⠲⠌⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠏⣡⢨⣝⡻⠿⣿⢛⣩⡵⠞⡫⠭⠭⣭⠭⠤⠈⠭⠒⣒⠩⠭⠭⣍⠒⠈⠛ ⡿⢁⣾⣿⣸⣿⣿⣷⣬⡉⠁⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀ ⢡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣿⣦⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⠄⣤⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⡶⢇⣰⣿⣿⣟⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠁⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢛⡛⠿⠿⣿⣧⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣼⣿⣿⣿⣧⠸⣿⣿ ⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢿⡿⠿⠦⣤⣈⣙⡛⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠛⡀⢻⣿ ⠄⠄⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣙⠳⠶⢶⣤⣍⣙⡛⠓⠒⠶⠶⠶⠶⠖⢒⣛⣛⠁⣾⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠛⠿⠿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣈⣉⣛⣛⣛⡛⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠟⢋⣼⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠃⠄⠙⠛⠿⢿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢬⣭⣭⡶⠖⣢⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣾⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
January 2020

Pepe

Vandelar from the castle jousting team

twitchquotes: Hail Kripp, 'tis I, Vandelar from the castle jousting team. How does life treat you today? I notice you continue to fool around with children's playing cards, some things never change! Art thou still playing the wizard of warcraft children's game? I never had time for such pursuits, for I found myself occupied with defending my honor, and laying with beautiful wenches. Alas, it was nice to see thou again, write me and we shall visit the tavern Kreygasm
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Kripparrian is NEVER lucky?

twitchquotes: (•⌣•) Daddy, is it true as the legend says. That Kripparrian is NEVER lucky? ( ͡°╭͜ʖ╮͡° ) Yes little dong. The legend holds true even to this day.
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

neverlucky

I'm not gay but I want to live with Kanye West

I want to live in a log cabin in the woods with Kanye. We won't ever have sex, but there will be a simmering erotic undercurrent as I stand in the kitchen window watching him tighten his ass as he chops wood, shirtless, sweat pouring off his body. I'll run upstairs and masturbate, the entire time forcing myself to think of women while my thoughts drift back to Kanye. I won't be able to climax and I'll eventually go back downstairs, angry. Sometimes we will look across the table and catch each other's eyes, and in that second, anything is possible, but we both deny ourselves and go back to what we were doing. One day one of us will die, and the other will bury him outside the log cabin. Then they'll go inside, pen a brief missive to their departed friend, and commit suicide, never able to deal with life without their one true platonic love.
August 2021

Kanye West

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