[Copypasta] Elon Musk could've given $5 billion to everyone in the world

Musk poured $44 billion into Twitter. The global population is 8 billion people. He could have given $5 billion to each individual and still had money left over. Most people's lives would be changed if they received a $5 billion check. But he squandered it all on Twitter.
July 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Brazilian No. 1 Futbol Player Eduardo Pasterinho

twitchquotes: Wᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇᴛ Kʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪᴀɴ! Iᴛ ɪs I, Bʀᴀᴢɪʟɪᴀɴ Nᴏ. 1 ғᴜᴛʙᴏʟ ᴘʟᴀʏᴇʀ Eᴅᴜᴀʀᴅᴏ Pᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴʜᴏ. Aғᴛᴇʀ ᴍʏ ᴛᴇᴀᴍ ɢᴏᴛ ᴡʀᴇᴄᴋᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ Gᴇʀᴍᴀɴ ᴛʀʏʜᴀʀᴅs, I ғᴇᴀʀ ғᴏʀ ᴍʏ ᴊᴏʙ. Pʟs ʜᴇʟᴘ ʙʏ ᴅᴏɴᴀᴛɪɴɢ sᴀʟᴛ ᴏʀ ᴛᴏᴘᴅᴇᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴍʏ sᴀʟᴀʀʏ. Pʟs ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘᴀ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴʜᴏ
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Infinite Cum Part 3

Your release had increased so much that they could no longer contain you. Your cum has consumed the entirety of the cosmos. Humanity is without a shred of doubt, gone. You are alone in the universe. If there were aliens, they are dead now. It’s over. In despair, you mourn the death of the scientists, of humanity, of everyone. You realize you'll never hear her sweet and calming voice, see her proud body. Your sad. Your terrified. Chronicles pass. The last stars in the universe eclipse. You silently watch as the last atoms break into protons, into quarks, into mere beams of weak energy that disperse along the vertical ropes. But the ropes no longer play their docile music. They have gonne silent. You watch, helplessly, as the Last mozon is engulfed into the ever expanding plane of Cum. Your own creation destroys the very own universe, defying the own plan of existence. You are alone. You scream, but nothing comes out of your mouth. You cry, but nothing descends from your eyes. Do you even have eyes? All you can see is the torrid Instotucional white across the whole of the Universe. Entire Gans eclipse before your eyes, but then you realize the horror: The Cum turned against you. With nothing more to consume, your sons turned against their father, and begin to consume you. You tremble. There's nothing to do. The huge weight impacts you like if whole planets fell onto your shoulders. Your alone. In your last moments, a odd sentiment of peace invades you for the first time since the early days of the universe. It's finally gonna end. You think about all the people that you've met during your stay in this universe. In the end, you think about the researcher. About her arms. Her breasts. You feel... good. For the first time in many hipereons. You jack off it. It's so.... good, you come at the right time, freeing the constrained cum from your menber. You open your eyes, and behold the bathroom door. You are Ok. You remember everything. It's all over. You exit the bathroom after jacking off again, going back to your old life. The cum stops.
April 2022

Infinite Cum

Negatron Cloak

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⣴⣶⠞⠛⢶⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⡶⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠁⣰⠇⣈⠻⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⡗⢿⣶⣶⣤⣴⣾⠟⢠⡏⠄⠄⠈⠙⠿⣿⣿⣷⣦⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⠇⢶⣤⣀⡺⠿⠋⣠⡾⠄⠄⢤⣶⣤⣄⠈⠛⢿⣿⣷⡄⠄ ⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣣⣿⣷⣌⡛⢿⣿⣾⡟⠁⢤⣤⣀⠙⢿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠙⢿⣷⠄ ⠄⣼⣿⣿⣳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⢭⣶⣇⠄⠻⣿⣧⡀⠙⢿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠙⠇ ⢰⣿⣿⣳⣿⣿⣻⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠹⣿⣿⣄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣴⡄⠄ ⢸⡿⣱⣿⣿⣏⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠘⣿⣿⣦⠄⠈⢿⡿⣱⣿ ⠘⣵⣿⣿⣿⣸⣿⣿⢾⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⡜⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠁⣿⡿ ⢸⣶⣍⢿⢧⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠘⡜⣿⣷⣴⣦⣀⠘⠄ ⠄⠻⣿⢇⣾⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⡯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠘⡽⡟⢫⣴⣶⡆⠄ ⠄⠄⠙⢷⣿⡭⠡⠆⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠻⠄⢫⠄⣀⡹⣿⡇⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠃⠄⢀⣚⣭⣭⣭⡍⠄⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣛⣂⠄⣼⡿⣣⡟⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣁⣀⣈⣩⣭⣶⣿⣿⣿⣷⣭⡶⠋⠄⠄⠄
January 2021

League of Legends

Teamfight Tactics

I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020

Imagine the profit!

twitchquotes: soon kripp. you will have enough subs to turn it into sub mode. you will cause a rage so fierce from the common plebs that they will only turn to subbing to not lose their spam rights. you will become the richest streamer on here based off the rage of others. imagine the profit!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing