[Copypasta] Elon Musk could've given $5 billion to everyone in the world

Musk poured $44 billion into Twitter. The global population is 8 billion people. He could have given $5 billion to each individual and still had money left over. Most people's lives would be changed if they received a $5 billion check. But he squandered it all on Twitter.
July 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Scraggly vegan is the only one left

twitchquotes: BOB β€œYou’re doing GREAT out there!” I exclaim with as much enthusiasm as I can this late in the day. The scraggly vegan is the only one left in the tavern, his attention focused entirely on the card game we put out to entertain children and toddlers. β€œI don’t wanna talk about it guys” cries the man, knocking his cup of vegan water over. I try to reassure him that everyone has bad luck now and then, but he just ignores me, as always. This tavern attracts some strange types indeed.
twitch chat
December 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix.

So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix. We came to the conclusion that a matrix could only run so smoothly because of our predictable behaviour. For example, if you eat it is likely that you swallow your food. Therefore, the matrix would be ready to initiate a digestion program. But if a group of people did something unpredictable, the matrix would shut down. So what we did is we randomly started gang banging each other. The matrix could have never predicted that because that is like super gay. But nothing happened (matrix-wise). But this is not point why am I writing about this. My friends now want to do the gang-banging shit again and I am not sure how to respond to that.
December 2021

Which one of you got reddit to send me this

Which one of you fucks got reddit to send me this shit "Hi there, A concerned redditor reached out to us about you. When you're in the middle of something painful, it may feel like you don't have a lot of options."
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Are you really shitting on PokΓ©mon Unite bro?

Are you really shitting on PokΓ©mon Unite bro? That’s pretty fucking cringe. This is a highly skilled game that requires teamwork. Communication. Hard work. Blood. Sweat. Tears. If your puny mind fails to see this game is all about skill then just go back to playing baby ass LoL you fucking pleb.
July 2021

MOM I NEED V-BUCKS

twitchquotes: β—οΈβœ‹ OK MOM βœ‹β—οΈWE NEED TO TALK 😑😀 I NEED V-BUCKS πŸ˜œπŸ’΅ I'VE MADE STRAIGHT A'S 😎🀨 I'VE CLEANED MY ROOM 😫🀬 I'VE TAKEN OUT THE TRASH πŸ—‘οΈπŸ”« I CUT THE CATS ASSHOLE HAIR πŸ˜πŸ‘ NOW I NEED YOU πŸ§πŸ‘‰ TO BUY ME V-BUCKS 😎πŸ”₯ I'VE GOTTA SHOW 🀯🀬 MY CLOUT ON FORTNITE πŸ”₯πŸ˜ŽπŸ’― NOW I'LL BE IN BED πŸ˜΄πŸ’€ BY NINE BECAUSE IT'S A SCHOOL NIGHT πŸ˜”πŸ“šπŸšΈ
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

Text-to-Speech Playing