[Copypasta] Elon Musk could've given $5 billion to everyone in the world

Musk poured $44 billion into Twitter. The global population is 8 billion people. He could have given $5 billion to each individual and still had money left over. Most people's lives would be changed if they received a $5 billion check. But he squandered it all on Twitter.
July 2022
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Dear Kripp, I own the apple orchard outside Toronto

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, I own the apple orchard outside Toronto and I am begging you to stop drinking so much OJ. Since you became popular on the Twitch our sales have decreased by over 69% because Canadians want to be like you. For *** sake please drink some apple juice! If you continue drinking OJ, I wont be able to feed my family anymore
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp

Hammer and sickle

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
January 2017

Do you have what it takes to be a Memester?

slow claps steps out of the shadows Heh... not bad, kid. Not bad at all. Your meme, I mean. It's not bad. A good first attempt. It's plenty dank... I can tell it's got some thought behind it... lots of quotable material... But memeing isn't all sunshine and rainbows, kid. You're skilled... that much I can tell. But do you have what it takes to be a Memester? To join those esteemed meme ranks? To call yourself a member of the Ruseman's Corps? Memeing takes talent, that much is true. But more than that it takes heart. The world-class Memesters - I mean the big guys, like Johnny Hammersticks and Billy Kuahana - they're out there day and night, burning the midnight meme-oil, working tirelessly to craft that next big meme. And you know what, kid? 99 times out of a hundred, that new meme fails. Someone dismisses it as bait, or says it's "tryhard," or ignores it as they copy/paste the latest shitpost copypasta dreamt up by those sorry excuses for cut-rate memers over at reddit. The Meme Game is rough, kid, and I don't just mean the one you just lost :). It's a rough business, and for every artisan meme you craft in your meme bakery, some cocksucker at 9gag has a picture of a duck or some shit that a million different Johnny No-Names will attach a milion different captions to. Chin up, kid. Don't get all mopey on me. You've got skill. You've got talent. You just need to show your drive. See you on the boards...
June 2017

World War 2 in emojis

๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿค๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿฆณ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿฆ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€ ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธโžก๏ธ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ˜จ ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿฆณ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐ŸŽจ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿค๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ™…โ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ™…โ€โ™‚๏ธ ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿค๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธโš”โžก๏ธโš”๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฏ ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐ŸŽจ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿฆณ๐Ÿ˜ฏ ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐ŸŽจ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐ŸฆณโœŒโš”๐Ÿ†š๏ธโš”๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿค๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐ŸฆณโœŒ๐Ÿšข ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿฆณ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜โžก๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณโ™ฟ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ˜‘๐Ÿ›ซ๐Ÿ›ซ๐Ÿ’ฃ๐Ÿ’ฃโžก๏ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธโ™ฟ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธโ™ฟ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐ŸฆณโœŒโš”๐Ÿ†š๏ธโš”๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ˜‘๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿฆฒ ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโš”๐Ÿ†š๏ธโš”๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜โžก๏ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ˜ณ ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ˜Ž ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ˜Žโ˜ข๐Ÿ’ฃ ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ณ
July 2021

Emoji Pasta

Oh, these? My boobies?

Oh, these? My boobies? My massive fucking titties? My super stuffed milkies? My honker bonker doinky boinkies? My fucking fabric stretching wind flapping gravity welling sex mounds? You mean these super duper ultra hyper god damn motherfucking tits?
April 2021
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