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I'm buysexual

I’m buysexual, sometimes I’m a top (when I buy) and sometimes a bottom (when I sell)
December 2020

WallStreetBets

For every copy paste I will pushup

twitchquotes: 💪 for 💪 every 💪 copy/paste 💪 I 💪 will 💪 do 💪 1 💪 pushup 💪
twitch chat
September 2017
I used to be a real ad

Finally beat the first boss Honker

twitchquotes: Hi Kripparrian. For 2 weeks I was stuck in Hearthstone. I nearly gave up on it, however, after watching your stream and learning so much, I decided to buy 40 packs and make a new deck. Lo and behold after my 7th game I finally defeated the first boss Honker. Thank you Kripparrian.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Sigma male schedule

2:00 am- Wake up 2.05am-Cold shower 2.15am-breakfast,almonds, breast milk bought off Facebook, 50mg adderall 2:30am- begin workout,incline bench 2 plates,12x12 with 30 seconds of rest, no warmup. 2:45am-edging,4hrs (for disipline) 6:45am-cold shower 7:00am-begin sprint to work 8:00am-arrive at work 8:05am-get called into boss' office 8:06am-get fired from job for "repeated inappropriate comments" and "predatory behaviour" 8:10am-sprint back home 9:10am- lunch-raw cod, berries foraged on the way home, small pebbles (for digestion),50mg of adderal 9:10am-edging(as punishment) 3:00pm- bed time
August 2021

When I see FeelsBadMan in chat I actually feel bad

twitchquotes: When I see FeelsBadMan in chat I actually feel bad.
twitch chat
November 2018
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

didn't expect to queue into you this game

twitchquotes: oh hey toast, didn't expect to queue into you this game haha so random! i'm actually streaming rn as well on my stream at twitchtv/xxxxxx maybe you can host me :) no big deal if not. enjoy your content! i'm streaming atm so check me out!
twitch chat
August 2019
DisguisedToast

Teamfight Tactics

Hitler messages Kripp

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp how's it going, Hitler here. I've heard rumors that you've been MUTING your mic whenever our Nazi propaganda wagon drives through the area! As punishment for your crimes, you will forward some of your Colombian drug funds as tribute to my good friends working at Google+ to restore the Third Reich to its former glory.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Minecraft, but he's torturing my cock and balls.

In this video, I have to beat Minecraft while my friend is torturing my cock and balls. He has a humbler, a stretcher and can actively kick them at any time he wishes. Can I beat the Ender Dragon before my testicles are ruptured? Watch to find out. Also, according to Youtube statistics, only a small percentage of people who watch my videos are actually subscribed, so if you end up liking this video, consider subscribing. It's free and you can always unsubscribe. Enjoy the video.
June 2021

You were being super salty and now have ruined my pizza

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp! So here I was enjoying my favorite food (pizza) and watching your stream having a good time when it started to taste funny. It turns out you were being super salty and now have ruined my pizza. Are you going to pay for another pizza or will I have to call the cops? This is serious.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

could you please take post down (Twitter)

Excuse me, not to be disrespectful or rude but could you please take post down. That is my sister who was killed by a metra train. And it this post is very disrespectful. Idk who you are or if you even know her but I need you to take this down please.
April 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

if you are a single girl and also a gamer

twitchquotes: if you are a single girl and also a gamer please send me a direct message so that I can get to know you :) no, this is not a joke or a "copypasta" I'm genuinely looking to find someone who shares my passions
twitch chat
July 2020

Copyright infringement of copypastas

twitchquotes: TWITCH CHAT, this is the POLICE. We have heard rumors that you have been performing illegal actions, such as copyright infringement in this stream. You must cease your use of these copy(righted)pastas immediately or you will be arrested for your crimes. Internet piracy is NOT a victimless crime, and you WILL be punished.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Spoilers in Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: Keep sharing spoilers guys! Those shows seem so interesting, I'm so glad I'm reading all these spoilers. What about some Game of Thrones spoilers now? How hard can you spoil it?
twitch chat
April 2014
Reynad

Kripp tenderly slid back the wrapper of the card pack

twitchquotes: Kripp tenderly slid back the wrapper of the card pack. His fingers were soft and smelled faintly of cucumber. He slowly pulled out the card, caressing it with his fingers. "I didn't expect it to be so big", he said as he looked at the 7/7 stats. "And only 4 mana?" he said and moaned softly.
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Learn to spell you fucking idiot

It's 'forget' not 'forgor'. It's 'remember' not 'rember'. How many fucking times do I have to tell you this? Go to a fucking school and learn how to spell you dumbass. Seriously, these 'forgor' and 'rember' things are NOT funny and will make you look like a loser.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad

I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now

I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now, moving from place to place, keeping ahead of the vaxmaxers, never staying anywhere too long, never letting my face become known. "It's great being vaxmaxed isn't it" the shopkeep says vacantly, to nobody in particular. In keeping with the act I reply to the Heinz Baked Beans Substitute 6 Pack (No Plastic) in my hand, something unrelated, with what I hope is a slightly bemused tone. It takes a lot longer to do my shopping these days, I can't simply march through the shop in an orderly fashion, taking what I need in a single trip, I have to absent mindedly shuffle back and forward between the aisles, never really displaying any intent. As unpresent as they are, the vaxmaxed would notice if I was too focused, too alert. A loud smashing sound in the distance almost blows my cover, I notice, and focus on the sound. The vaxmaxed around me slowly aim their distant gaze on me, but I'm able to save myself, I continue my neck jerk and turn it in to a series of spasms, I drop to the floor convulsing, the vaxmaxed around me quickly lose interest and continue on with their day. "That means it's working" one elderly lady comments to her milk as she passes. I continue the charade long enough to filter out most of the vaxmaxed sharing the aisle. It takes a while, and no insubstantial amount of sweat on my part, but I make it to the checkout. A morbidly obese woman directs the horde at the tills, seemingly oblivious to the cacophony of aberrant scan noises and blinking red lights above the entirely self service super checkout. I wait dutifully, not wanting to be noticed, not wanting to be set upon by the Asda Security Vax Checker team, it had taken all my best bluffing to get past them at the door, I almost chuckled when they believed my vax card was in the post but it was quickly stifled, a chuckled would have given me away, a chuckle would have seen me held down and injected with science juice.
April 2022

COVID

Coronavirus

Alright, ocean mage, I guess

twitchquotes: ResidentSleeper “Alright, ocean mage, I guess” ResidentSleeper “Haven’t picked moist magician in a while, let’s go wet wizard ResidentSleeper “hydro conjuror isn’t that good, but alright” ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
December 2019

Teamfight Tactics

GME bank consultation

Short story-time for amusement reasons only: some days ago, I went to my bank (Austria). I am the owner of quite a number of GME shares and my broker app is actually just the bank-intern bond trading app, where I need to pay transactional feed everytime I buy (what is sell?) GME shares. I informed myself about the reasoning of those transactional fees beforehand and found out that by paying them, I have the right of consultation by my bank about the shares they‘re trading/I‘m buying. So, I went to the main national building of my bank, they were really friendly at the beginning, enthustiatically, I mentioned GME to them and that I wish for professional consultation about the financial details involved with that stock (I am not a financial guy, actually, I don‘t exactly know what‘s going on, it‘s all pretty crazy to me). Suddenly, their posture and mimick changed pretty suddenly. I was told, they are not allowed to consult about GME. To my question, why this was the case, they told me, because GME is „too irrelevant for the big stock market“. They are „aware of the past short squeeze, but one should no longer focus on GME“. They acted as if GME was some „childish financial playground“ that should be forgotten about. When I confronted them with the huge recent naked short attacks and if they could explain to me possible effects of them if they were not covered, they just repeated themselves how „GME is not relevant, please focus on stocks like Apple or Amazon to be safe“. I left the bank, buying more GME shares.
April 2021

WallStreetBets

Kripp nudes leaked online

twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(

Hey Reynad, Melvin Roede de Paard

twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing