[Copypasta] My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius

twitchquotes: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next
twitch chat
June 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021

I want to fuck a cheeseburger

I want to fuck a cheeseburger. Just having that cheesy goodness melt all around my cock would make me feel at ease with the world again. Being able to cum inside a dead cow makes me feel so alive. I have been banned from 231 McDonald’s for public masturbation. Whenever I see an ad for McDonald’s I get so fucking horny. God I want to fuck a cheeseburger.
April 2021

it's okay take monday off

twitchquotes: It's ok [insert streamer name], take off monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday, sunday, january, february, march, april, may, june, july, august, september, october, november, december. 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2023, 21st century, 22nd century, 23rd century off. you work too hard. :)
twitch chat
September 2020

Dickbird with Dickhead and Dicks on his Back

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⢉⢉⠉⠉⠻⣿⣿⠛⠛⣤⣤⣤⣤⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠠⡰⣕⣗⣷⣧⣀⣅⠘⠛⠄⣿⣿⣿⠛⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣠⣳⣟⣿⣿⠿⣿⡿⣜⠄⣿⣤⣤⣤⠛⠛⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⣩⣬⣭⠻⢷⣿⣿⣿⣀⡿⣝⠖⠄⣿⣿⠛⣤⣿⠛⠛⣤⣤⣤⣤⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣤⣒⠲⠶⢿⣿⢷⣯⢿⢷⡫⣗⠍⢰⣿⠛⣤⣿⠛⠘⣿⣿⣿⠛⣿⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⢄⠤⣁⠋⠿⣗⣟⡯⡏⢎⠁⢸⠄⣿⠛⠛⣤⣿⣤⣤⣤⠛⠛⣤⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢔⢕⣯⣿⣿⡲⡤⡄⡤⠄⡀⢠⡀⡀⣤⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⣤⣤⣤⣤⢸⣿ ⣿⡿⢉⣴⣶⣦⠙⣿⣿⣿⡼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣷⡌⢿⠛⣤⠄⣿⣿⣿⠛⣿⢸⣿ ⣿⣷⡘⠿⠟⣛⡁⢻⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⢿⣿⠻⣿⢮⣭⣥⣄⡹⣤⣤⣤⠛⠛⣤⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⢿⣿⣿⣿⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣟⡶⠶⢾⣭⣽⣗⡈⠻⠛⣤⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡈⣿⣿⣿⣧⣌⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣷⡲⣶⣶⣾⣷⣌⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠗⡈⠻⣿⣿⡿⢛⣶⣤⣍⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠆⠻⠿⣿⣿⡿⠗⣢⣿ ⣿⣿⡏⢼⣿⣷⣶⢋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⣠⠄⣠⣶⣶⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣌⠛⠿⠛⠈⠛⠿⠿⠿⢛⠁⢈⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⡈⢉⣩⡭⠽⢛⣒⣒⣒⣈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣉⣥⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2021

NSFW

Kripp please lick your knee

twitchquotes: Please for the love of god Kripp just lick your goddam knee. I've been sitting here for 10 hours straight watching that boney *** knee of yours by your big lushous mouth. Please just fulfill this one wish I have and lick that sexy *** knee of yours so I can blow my creamy load all over myself and slowly fall into a deep sleep.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
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