[Copypasta] My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius

twitchquotes: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next
twitch chat
June 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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What the fuck did you just fucking say about OTM FDs

What the fuck did you just fucking say about OTM FDs, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated bottom of my class in the Special Needs Division of the Navy Seals, and I've been bag holding from pump n' dumps on WSB since 2012, AND I have over 300 confirmed margin calls. I am trained in the 'tism and I'm the top retard in the entire United States armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another normie retail investor. I will wipe out my portfolio with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit about OTM FDs over the Internet? Think again, fuckface. As we speak I am contacting my wife's network of boyfriends across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your portfolio. Your fucking 401k is dead, kid. I can trade anywhere, anytime, and I can lose fat stacks over seven hundred ways, and that's just with TSLA FDs. Not only am I extensively trained in sniffing glue, but I have access to the entire crayon collection of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass boomer stocks off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit crayon diarrhea all over you, the likes of which would make even Jackson Pollock jealous, and you will drown in it. You're fucking done, kiddo.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Navy Seal

forsenD

⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣧⣡⣤⡴⠖⣒⣂⠄⡉⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⡇⢴⡌⡀⢨⣤⡡⣨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⡀⢸⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⣿⣿⠏⣠⣶⣦⣤⡤⠤⠤⣤⣀⣀⠈⢻⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠂⣿⡏⢠⣿⣿⣿⢡⣬⠉⣑⠂⠉⠻⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣰⣿⣧⡀⠻⢿⣯⣷⣭⣀⡈⠄⣿⣷⣦⡻⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠉⣉⣉⠄⠹⠋⢀⣀⣴⣶⣄⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣵⡆ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢁⠴⣩⠾⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠈⠙⠿⣦⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣺⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠈⢿⣾⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣽⣅⣴⣎⠠⠔⣂⣖⣆⣒⣖⡢⠶⠶⡢⢄⠄⢿⣧⡈⠻⢿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⢹⡄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠗⠂⠠⠠⠠⢭⣩⣭⣭⣴⣿⣷⣾⣿⡇⠄⣤⣀⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⡿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣤⡀⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⡿⡀⣾⡿⠛⡁ ⣿⣿⣿⠿⠏⠄⠄⠘⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠫⣠⣾⡇ ⠿⠿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠾⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⠿⠇
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single

Holy shit Kim Kardashian is about to be single. I've waited so long for this moment. This is my chance, my opportunity. God is real. I should chill with the god talk because she's probably over that stuff but im fucking hyped. I am going to shoot my shot. I am not black so my chances are less but I have been doing push ups, eating vitamins and controlling my jacking off.
January 2021

AITA for not telling my wife about all the hitchhikers I killed in the 70s?

Back when I (68M) was a young and dumb twenty-something, I spent a few carefree years in Southern California raping, torturing, and murdering hitchhikers. I don't want any judgement from SJWs about this, please, if you didn't live in Cali in the 1970s, you wouldn't understand. It was just what we did back in those days. Eventually I grew up, got married, had three beautiful kids, and was content to just get off to my trophies and polaroids, and maybe kill the occasional drifter on special occasions. The other day, my wife (37F) found the hidden panel in my basement wall where I keep all the old memories, and she went ballistic. I tried to calm her down, explained that, firstly, they were all dudes, so she shouldn't exactly be getting jealous. Second, they're all dead, so it's not like she's going to have to worry about me leaving her for any of them. Third, there were like three or four other guys doing the same thing around then, and they took the credit for most of my kills. I was very careful, covered my tracks, rarely finished inside them. I don't know why she's got her knickers in such a twist. Quite frankly, I'm feeling really hurt about the whole thing. We've been together for nearly thirty years, and she's thinking about leaving me over something like this? Maybe I should have been more honest, but I was raised to see this as men's business, not something you involve your old lady in. Am I the asshole?
August 2021

AITA

ALERT INCOMING DANK MEME

twitchquotes: 🔊🔊🚨🚨WARNING🔊🚨🚨WARNING🚨🚨🔊THIS IS A 🐸DANK 👽MEME❗❗ 🐸ALERT. INCOMING 🐸DANK 👽MEME🐸 👐👌HEADING STRAIGHT 🚀🚀YOUR WAY. 🔜👆👆👆PLEASE TAKE ANY PRECAUTIONS🚧🚧 NECESSARY TO PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THIS 🐸DANK 👽MEME❗❗ 🐸 🌋🌋🌋 .BUCKLE UP♿♿♿ THEM SEATBELTS👮👮,PUT THEM CELLPHONES ON SILENT📵📵 AND LOOSEN THAT ANUS👅👅🍑🍑🍑🍩🍩💩💩 CUZ THIS MEME JUST CAME STRAIGHT OUT OF THE 🚬🚬 🍁🏭🍁🏭🍁🚬🚬DANK FACTORY.
twitch chat
May 2016

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