[Copypasta] My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius

twitchquotes: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next
twitch chat
June 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Am I the asshole for dropping my 6 year old son at an orphanage for his inability to trade options?

This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.
September 2021

Am I The Asshole?

WallStreetBets

Anime girl 15

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⢿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⣿⣿⣿⣇⣿⣀⠸⡟⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢡⣿⣿⣿⡇⠝⠋⠀⠀⠀⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⢸⠸⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠊⣽⣿⣿⣿⠁⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⢠⣴⣿⣿⣿⠋⣠⡏⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠾⣿⣟⡻⠉⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⠋⣿⡿⠚⠋⠁⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⡄⠀⣳⡶⡦⡀⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⡾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⡇⡿⠉⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠽⢲⠇⠣⠐⠚⢻⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡐⣾⡏⣷⠀⠀⣼⣷⡧⣿⣿⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⠳⣿⣇⢈⣿⠟⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡦⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣜⢿⣼⢏⣾⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣝⣿⣦⡑⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣷⣿⣿⠃⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⣥⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⣤⣾⣿⣿⡿⠻⡏⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⡿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⡴⣫⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢘⣿⣿⣟⢦⡸⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡰⠋⣴⣿⣟⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠁⠸⣿⢻⣦⠉⢆⠀⠀ ⢠⠇⡔⣿⠏⠏⠙⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣜⣛⡻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⡇⠹⣷⡈⡄⠀ ⠀⡸⣴⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⡇⡇⠀⢻⡿⡇⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⣰⠿⠤⠒⡛⢹⣿⠄ ⠀⣿⣷⡆⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⠟⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠻⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⠀ ⠀⠈⠿⢿⣄⠀⠀⠀⢞⠌⡹⠁⠀⠀⢻⡇⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢳⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⡏⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠂⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⡇⠁⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠋⠛⠛⠛⠀⢸⠀⠀⡀⠂⠀⠀⠐⠛⠉⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠕⣠⡄⣰⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣸⠠⡪⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢫⣽⡋⠭⠶⠮⢽⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣓⣽⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣶⣦⣾⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
February 2021

Weebs

Jim Cramer responds to GameStop apes on Twitter

But you know what? I miss the good people whom i used to interact before these pathetic parodies of human minds ascended from the gates of hell. Well, now that i know they are going broke and just care about Gamestop and pump and dump schemes I will end their tyranny. NOW
September 2021

WallStreetBets

my face when americans call chips "french fries"

>my face when americans call chips "french fries" >my face when americans call crisps "chips" >my face when americans call chocolate globbernaughts "candy bars" >my face when americans call motorized rollinghams "cars" >my face when americans call merry fizzlebombs "fireworks" >my face when americans call wunderbahboxes a "PC" >my face when americans call meat water "gravy" >my face when americans call electro-rope "power cables" >my face when americans call beef wellington ensemble with lettuce a "burger" >my face when americans call whimsy flimsy mark and scribblers "pens" >my face when americans call twisting plankhandles "doorknobs" >my face when americans call breaddystack a "sandwich" >my face when americans call their hoighty toighty tippy typers "keyboards" >my face when americans call nutty-gum and fruit spleggings "peanut butter and jelly" >my face when americans call an upsy stairsy the "escalator" >my face when americans call a knittedy wittedy sheepity sleepity a "sweater" >my face when americans call a rickedy-pop a "gear shift" >my face when americans call a choco chip bucky wicky as a "cookie" >my face when americans call a pip pip gollywock a "screwdriver" >my face when americans call a rooty tooty point-n-shooty a "gun" >my face when americans call ceiling-bright a "Lightbulb" >my face when americans call blimpy bounce bounce a "ball" >my face when americans call a slippery dippery long mover a "snake" >my face when americans call cobble-stone-clippity-clops "roads"
April 2021

British People

Kripp and his Flamboyant lifestyle

twitchquotes: Octavian, you are an inspiration. You are not afraid to be flamboyant and admit that you live an alternative lifestyle. I think you are one of the best gay streamers on twitch and you are a great role model. I know some people probably don't understand, but i do.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

KappaPride

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