[Copypasta] My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius

twitchquotes: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next
twitch chat
June 2019
Famous line from the 2000 Gladiator film.
I used to be a real ad
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If you're a grown-ass man and you still wipe your ass, you're not a real man.

This should be self-explanatory but apparently, I have to justify myself. There's nothing more feminine than using a product on your body. Makeup is 100% feminine and by the same logic, so is wiping your ass. I haven't wiped my ass in about 4 years, and I've NEVER had any issues. My digestive system is in the top 1% in terms of regularity, functionality, and performance, and I've never once felt the need to "clean up" after myself. If you shit, and you need to wipe, you've got an emasculated GI tract and that's your own issue. Man up and get your shit (literally) together.
May 2021

You need a high IQ to understand Rick and Morty

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick and Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick's existencial catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. 馃槀 And yes by the way, I DO have a Rick and Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
September 2017

Rick and Morty

Classic

Hi I'm Reynad, I run a website called Tempo Storm...

twitchquotes: Hi I'm Reynad, I run a website called Tempo Storm where I post decklists for Hearthstone players to peruse. Don't you dare use them though, or I'll insult you for playing the decks I posted online
twitch chat
November 2015
Reynad

Hearthstone

UwU what's this? Nuzzles how are you

twitchquotes: Rawr馃惒馃悐 x3馃構 nuzzles how are you馃槈馃檪 pounces on you馃槢 you鈥檙e馃槂 so馃槃 warm馃馃槇 o3o馃槒 notices馃槸 you have a bulge馃崋 o:馃槸馃槷 someone鈥檚 happy馃槂 ;)馃槈馃槣 nuzzles your necky wecky馃槇馃槜~ murr~ hehehe馃槉 rubbies馃憢馃 your bulgy馃崋 wolgy you鈥檙e馃槍 so big馃槸馃槷 :oooo rubbies馃憢馃 more on your bulgy馃崋 wolgy it馃毇 doesn鈥檛 stop馃洃 growing 路///路 馃槓kisses馃槡馃槝 you馃檪 and lickies馃槤馃憛馃挦馃挦
twitch chat
April 2019

Emoji Pasta

Weebs

Oh so I鈥檓 a simp?

twitchquotes: Oh so I鈥檓 a simp? Complimenting women on Twitter makes me a simp? Supporting woman with a $99.99 subscription to her onlyfans makes me a simp? Visiting her and getting arrested makes me a simp? You鈥檙e right. It does make me a simp. (S)uper (I)ncredible (M)an (P)
twitch chat
April 2020

Simps

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