[Copypasta] My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius

twitchquotes: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next
twitch chat
June 2019
Famous line from the 2000 Gladiator film.
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce

gf is prego we like to get kinky anyways one night things get particularly saucy i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering ohshitohshitohshitohshit i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital she's still bleeding everywhere by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything he takes one look at ther and says "sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" "WHY THE FUCK NOT???" "we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
February 2021

Classic

Trolling my whole class with Among Us Part 2

So yesterday at lunch, I was about to eat with my friends from band when I realized that there was an empty seat at a table with some of the popular kids. I decided to take advantage of this opportunity to troll them, and perhaps befriend some of them. I sat at their table, and right as I sat down, I noticed that one of the kids (who happened to be black) was sitting above a vent. I yelled "Black is sus! He's on top of a vent!!" Everyone at the table looked up at me, but no one laughed (they probably didn't get the reference). I decided that I would try to get them to be familiar with it, so I asked "Do to guys wanna play some Among Us???" They were all dead silent (honestly they just didn't know how fun of a game it was). I slapped the middle of our table (to mimick the "emergency meeting" feature in Among Us), and I screamed "EMERGENCY MEETING!!!" Again, none of them laughed. One of them looked at me and said "Can you please sit somewhere else?" At this point, I realized that I had to make them laugh quickly, or I would blow my chance with them. I made the widest grin I could possibly make (Trying to mimick the "When the imposter is sus" meme) and I said "When the impoter is sus". I then tried to make a face that resembled the "Flushed" emoji (as part of the meme). However, I don't think any of them understood the reference. I then pulled up the among us theme song on Youtube and played it on full blast. At this point, everyone at my table was asking for me to leave, and their friend came back, who regularly sat in the chair I was sitting in. I went back to sit with my friends from band. However, I will forever remember the time I trolled ALL of the popular kids in my grade.
March 2021

Trolling with Among Us

Among Us / Amogus

Which Rogue card should I pick?

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, I'm drafting a Rogue Arena and I'm 29 cards in. Should I pick Backstab (like you backstabbed Paparrian ) Betrayal (like you betrayed Paparrian ) or Vanish (like you vanished from Paparrian)
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Yassuo ditches Trick2g

twitchquotes: Hey, Yassuo! Big fan of the stream, I can't believe you're not playing Yasuo as much anymore...RIP. I guess that's what happens when Yasuo gets gutted, lol. Anyways, I'm trying to learn to play Shaco. I just have a question about the skill build: Should I max Backstab like you backstabbed Trick, Deceive like you deceived Trick, or Hallucinate like you made Trick hallucinate about being able to play at Twitch Rivals with his friends?
twitch chat
November 2019
Yassuo

League of Legends

xqcLook emote

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ascii art
April 2021
xQcOW
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