[Copypasta] Can we keep the sexual posts to a fucking minimum?

Can we keep the sexual posts to a fucking minimum guys? My parents stumbled on this sub the other day and now I'm not even allowed to access Reddit anymore because of the sex talk they saw in here. This is not a peepee, poopoo and vajayjay fun house. We are not heathens whose only role in life is to fornicate and laugh about fornication and then ejaculate that nonsense, spurting and spewing this so called "humor" on each other like animals. This is a place of worship. Meme worship. God is not pleased with you all. Repent.
January 2021
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More Copypastas

Priced in

Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
December 2020

Classic

WallStreetBets

Memes are a very important issue that we face everyday

twitchquotes: I'm here to speak with you about a very important issue that we in the LoL community face everyday, memes. Memes are infiltrating our ranked queues. Memes are infiltrating our in-houses. Memes are raping our mothers and killing our fathers. The World Health Organization has traced the source to a subset of extremely toxic streamers. This group of streamers is led by the one called imaqtpie. If you ever come in contact with imaqtpie, please do a 360 and moonwalk away from his stream. Unfollow and unsubscribe. If you do this, we may still have a chance. I dream of a future where LoL is played in parks and playgrounds, in office and student lounges, and even in the bedroom, completely free of memes. Please support our cause and no pasterini
twitch chat
January 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

why do they call it xbox 360?

twitchquotes: why do they call it xbox 360? because when you see it you turn 360 degrees and walk away ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ’ฏ ๐Ÿ”ฅ
twitch chat
June 2017

Ripperoni Pepperoni dude

twitchquotes: โœ“I'm just gonna shove this shit out โœ“ *I'm pretty strong right now* โœ“ *FUCK man* โœ“ *NO SMALL CAT THOSE ARE MY RIBS* โœ“ *I love it dude* โœ“ *Epic nice dude* โœ“ *Just gonna go shop* โœ“ Did that really fucking hit me? โœ“ Ripperoni Pepperoni dude โœ“.
twitch chat
March 2015
imaqtpie

The simple equation to such a peasant game, 5Head ๐Ÿท

twitchquotes: 5Head Aha, I see, i have calculated this equation of where my enemy can and will go. The numbers are almost 85.1829% chance that they will go right over my crosshair, thus leading my equation into the correct mathematical path into my favor with the proceeding 1 kill or so. The simple equation to such a peasant game, 5Head ๐Ÿท
twitch chat
July 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing