[Copypasta] Can we keep the sexual posts to a fucking minimum?

Can we keep the sexual posts to a fucking minimum guys? My parents stumbled on this sub the other day and now I'm not even allowed to access Reddit anymore because of the sex talk they saw in here. This is not a peepee, poopoo and vajayjay fun house. We are not heathens whose only role in life is to fornicate and laugh about fornication and then ejaculate that nonsense, spurting and spewing this so called "humor" on each other like animals. This is a place of worship. Meme worship. God is not pleased with you all. Repent.
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Born to be a Twitch channel mod

twitchquotes: You can say that I was born to be a Twitch channel mod. I catch a glimpse of copypasta, the adrenaline starts pumping. A whiff of drama, I snap into duty. My streamer calls for a chat ban, I erase that motherfucker from the history books of this channel. There is no !command I won’t code, no timeout I won’t give, no Twitch laws I won’t overlook, and no order I won’t obey to make my streamer happy. And if you become his problem, well, I’m sorry to say that I’ll become yours.
twitch chat
December 2019

MODS

Classic

Kripp's new sub emotes have convinced me he is a sellout

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀsᴛ ʏᴏᴜ'ʟʟ ʙᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴍᴇ. ᴛʜᴇsᴇ ɴᴇᴡ ᴇᴍᴏᴛᴇs ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴠɪɴᴄᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sᴇʟʟ─ᴏᴜᴛ. ɪ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴅɪғғᴇʀᴇɴᴛ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇsᴛ. ɪ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍᴇᴅ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴠɪᴇᴡᴇʀs... ɪ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ, ɪ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍᴇᴅ ғᴏʀ ᴍᴇ. ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ's ᴏᴠᴇʀ, ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ. ɢᴏᴏᴅʙʏᴇ
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

twitchquotes: Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way. He just ran out of thyme. Here today, gone tomato. His wife is still upset, cheese still not over it. We never sausage a tragedy coming. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There’s just not mushroom for Italian chefs in today’s world. Want to know what the rough parts of Italy are called? The spaghetto. Don’t call yourself Italian if you weren’t baptized in marinara sauce. You are literally too stupid to insult.
twitch chat
November 2019

Summit i am a chicken from cs go

twitchquotes: Summit i am a chicken from cs go ... i barely survived inferno ... i just want you and ur friends stop killlin my chickens or im gonna peck the sh1t out of you .My dream is to travel from A sight to B at my friend horse near construction without getting hurt together with my chicks and u always ruin it... please copy paste and stop this madness , let a chicken cross inferno my brothers
twitch chat
April 2016
Summt1g

CSGO

Donald Trump said to Trump

twitchquotes: Donald Trump said to Trump while playing Trumps, “did u Trump…Trump?” He replied “No Trump I didn’t Trump while playing Trumps…Trump”, Trump then said “sounded like a Trumpet Trump, or did u do a Trump Trump that sounded like a Trumpet playing Trumps…Trump”, He replied “Hey is that Brian Kibbler, Kibbler Brian of Brian Kibbler Gaming…Kibbler Kibbler Brian Kibbler…?” Kappa
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump
Text-to-Speech Playing