Can we keep the sexual posts to a fucking minimum guys? My parents stumbled on this sub the other day and now I'm not even allowed to access Reddit anymore because of the sex talk they saw in here. This is not a peepee, poopoo and vajayjay fun house. We are not heathens whose only role in life is to fornicate and laugh about fornication and then ejaculate that nonsense, spurting and spewing this so called "humor" on each other like animals. This is a place of worship. Meme worship. God is not pleased with you all. Repent.
I used to be a real ad
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Hello this is Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon
twitchquotes:
Hello this is Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazonβ’. As many of you know, we have recently bought over "Twitch tv". Users must now buy 'Emotes' such as " 
", " 
" and " 
". If users proceed to use these emotes without buying and owning them, we will have to, not only remove the account of the user but also, shut down the stream we have evidence that is has been used in. Thank you, do not copy and paste this. This is business, kid.
", " " and " ". If users proceed to use these emotes without buying and owning them, we will have to, not only remove the account of the user but also, shut down the stream we have evidence that is has been used in. Thank you, do not copy and paste this. This is business, kid.
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imaqtpie
I used to work at an abortion clinic
I used to work at an abortion clinic and I saw some extremely fucked up shit there which is why I'm so anti-abortion now. This is just SOME of the horrible stuff I personally witnessed:
β’ β A 23 year old woman came in 11 months into her pregnancy and said "I don't want my stupid baby anymore, kill it" and the doctor said "okay" and he put jumper cables up her baby hole and connected them to a car battery and let it run for six days straight
β’ β A little 8-year old girl wandered in and said "I want an abortion but I am not pregnant" and the doctor said "we'll fix that" and he stole a baby and cut the girl open and put the baby inside her and sewed her shut and then woke the girl up and said "congratulations it's a healthy six year old boy" and the girl said "can I keep him" and the doctor said no and then backed over her in the parking lot with his brand new Ford Raptor
β’ β They made me sign an agreement promising to stop drinking from the medical waste container (I signed somebody else's name)
β’ β One of the doctors there developed a futuristic ray gun that could make anything he shot have an abortion, even trees, cars, or barns
β’ β The receptionist threw nail polish at an elderly man
β’ β The doctor's assistant invented this thing she called "the silly slide" and it was a really fun little water slide that connected a woman's vagina to a paper shredder so a newborn baby could briefly "enjoy the high life"
β’ β The oldest child we aborted was in his late 70s, we didn't even know he was a baby until his wife brought in photos
β’ β The doctors put all sorts of crap up a woman's uterus including a clown nose, bicycle handlebars, a calendar, and an entire Sears retail outlet (before bankruptcy)
β’ β During every successful abortion, the doctor would shout "take that, baby" and he'd push a red button that made sirens go off and confetti fell from the ceiling and we'd all get Del Taco for free
NSFW
People watch reynad just to masturbate
Derp face
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This frog's head just got stuck on this ladder
twitchquotes:
β β 
ββ£ This frog's head just got stuck on this ladder. To make him feel better, enslave his frog brothers too by spamming this.
ββ£ This frog's head just got stuck on this ladder. To make him feel better, enslave his frog brothers too by spamming this.
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