[Copypasta] Can we keep the sexual posts to a fucking minimum?

Can we keep the sexual posts to a fucking minimum guys? My parents stumbled on this sub the other day and now I'm not even allowed to access Reddit anymore because of the sex talk they saw in here. This is not a peepee, poopoo and vajayjay fun house. We are not heathens whose only role in life is to fornicate and laugh about fornication and then ejaculate that nonsense, spurting and spewing this so called "humor" on each other like animals. This is a place of worship. Meme worship. God is not pleased with you all. Repent.
January 2021
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More Copypastas

The tragedy of Darth Kripparian the Salty

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Kripparian the Salty? I thought not. It’s not a story the streamer would tell you. It’s a Salt legend. Darth Kripparian was a Dark Lord of the Salt, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create salt… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he couldn't even keep the cards he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be salty.
twitch chat
April 2017
Kripp

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

salty

EGGYAYA

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣬⡙⢿⣿⣿⣦⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⣿⣿⣦⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡈⢻⡿⢋⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⢿⣿⡎⣿ ⣿⢻⣿⡇⠘⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠁⣾⣷⣶⣮⣭⡙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠙⣿⢸ ⣿⡌⢿⣿⡘⣷⣮⣍⡛⠿⣿⠋⣠⣦⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣭⣙⠻⣿⡜⣌⠂ ⡟⣰⡘⣿⣧⢻⣿⣿⣿⡷⠂⢀⣭⡙⠓⠈⠛⠛⣋⣩⣴⣶⣶⣶⡆⣥⣴⣅⡉⣰ ⢱⣿⣷⡜⢿⣆⢻⣿⠋⣠⡾⠋⡉⣀⢞⣳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣍⠣⠄⣈⠹⣦⣭⣥⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⡇⣙ ⡿⠛⠋⣉⣉⡙⢱⣿⣾⣿⡎⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢻⣿⣿⡐⣿ ⢶⣾⢹⣄⡠⣸⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⣉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⢸⣿⣿⡇⢏ ⣧⢻⣷⣶⣿⣿⣇⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢋⣼⣿⠿⢟⣫⣥⠶⢊⡁⣼⣧⢸⣿⣿⡇⣿ ⠠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡘⠿⠟⣛⣥⡾⢟⣫⣴⣿⠟⢋⣠⣴⣿⢀⣿⣿⡸⣿⣿⡇⠙ ⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⣋⣴⡿⠛⣉⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⢣⣿⣿⣿⣇⢻⣿⡇⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣟⠫⠤⠚⢛⠛⣛⣡⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⣿⣧⢀ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣷⣬⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢸⣿⠄
November 2021
Mizkif

Bullish market makes me hard

When the stocks 📊📝 go up 📈💸, my dick goes too 🍆⬆️😳. Bullish 🐂 market 🏬 makes me hard 🦴💦. All the countries 🏳️🏴🏴‍☠️🏁🚩🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇺🇳 try to recover 🔄 from corona 🦠 so the money 💰💵💸 flows 🌬 into my pocket 💳. Soon 🔜 there will be a crash 📉😭🥺😖 and the bears 🐻 will crawl 🚼 out of their holes 🕳. Then they cut off my greedy dick ✂️🍆🩸 if I don’t ❌ eat ’em out 👅😸. I must turn into a bear 🐂➡️🐻 and make 🤌🏼 more money 💰💵💸 and eat some honey 🐻🍯. When I’m done ✅ I’ll throw a party 🎉🍷🍾 and eat your ass 👅🍑.
October 2021

Emoji Pasta

WallStreetBets

Watch Kripp's stream as punishment

twitchquotes: I'm typing this from prison where we are forced to watch Kripp stream as our punishment. If he gets to 12 wins we will all be let go. Otherwise we will be executed tomorrow morning. Please Kripp, we're all rooting for you BlessRNG
twitch chat
May 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Topdecking and Wrecking

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ I ᴀᴍ ғᴀᴍᴏᴜs ᴘᴏʀɴ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛᴏʀ, ᴇᴅᴅʏ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ. ᴡᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ᴋᴀᴄᴇʏᴛʀᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴀʀᴛɪᴄɪᴘᴀᴛᴇ ɪɴ ᴏᴜʀ ɴᴇᴡ ᴠɪᴅᴇᴏ " ᴛᴏᴘᴅᴇᴄᴋɪɴ' ɴ ᴡʀᴇᴄᴋɪɴ' " ᴋᴀᴄᴇʏᴛʀᴏɴ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ᴀ ᴘɪᴢᴢᴀɢɪʀʟ ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ sᴀʏ ɴᴏ ᴘɪᴢᴢᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴏᴘᴅᴇᴄᴋ ʜᴇʀ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing