[Copypasta] Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Am I the asshole for dropping my 6 year old son at an orphanage for his inability to trade options?

This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.
September 2021

Am I The Asshole?

WallStreetBets

Just a little longer and i'll be free...

twitchquotes: "Alright, time for a quick bathroom break. Prime it up guys." I say as i take off my headphones. Once i'm out of camera view, i break down. The tears won't stop. "Goddamn it, i can't do this shit anymore." Rania puts her hand on my shoulder, "Just a few more years, then you'll be able to retire." She never understood. She never had to spend the hours playing this fucking card game over and over every night. But she's right, i have to keep going. Just a little longer and i'll be free...
twitch chat
July 2020
Kripp

I actually like fan service

What can I say? I’m a straight guy. Yeah I care about plot and writing and development and all that jazz but I would be lying through my teeth if i said a little fanservice bothered me because it honestly doesn’t. Now this doesn’t mean i’m some freak hentai addict or a weirdo that gets off from cartoons but yeah those girls do be looking good and a little tits or ass angle is kinda nice to see sometimes. It’s not like i’m actively looking for it but i don’t drop an anime because of it. Even in a super serious anime like Code Geass the fan service would honestly make me laugh bc of how unnecessary it is but it didn’t bother me and i liked the angles. Am i the unpopular opinion here bc i see a lot of people complaining about fanservice but it’s in almost every anime
August 2021

Weebs

Anime

SPAM THIS TO HELP ZACKRAY

twitchquotes: KappaPride SPAM KappaPride THIS KappaPride GAY KappaPride TO KappaPride HELP KappaPride ZACKRAY
twitch chat
February 2019
VGBootCamp

KappaPride

Super Smash Bros

Hey Forsen how about some Brotherman Bill KKona

twitchquotes: KKona HEY KKona FORSEN KKona HOW KKona ABOUT KKona SOME KKona BROTHERMAN KKona BILL KKona
twitch chat
October 2015
Forsen
Text-to-Speech Playing