[Copypasta] Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Win any online argument by replying with this

Don't care + didn't ask + L + Ratio + soyjak + beta + cringe + stfu + cope + seethe + ok boomer + incel + virgin + Karen + 🤡🤡🤡 + you are not just a clown, you are the entire circus + 💅💅💅 + nah this ain't it + do better + check your privilege + pronouns in bio + anime pfp + 🤢🤢🤮🤮 + the cognitive dissonance is real with this one + small dick energy + 😂😂🤣🤣 + lol copium + snowflake + 🚩🚩🚩 + those tears taste delicious + Lisa Simpson meme template saying that your opinion is wrong + 😒🙄🧐🤨 + wojak meme in which I'm the chad + average your opinion fan vs average my opinion enjoyer + random k-pop fancam + cry more + how's your wife's boyfriend doing + Cheetos breath + Intelligence 0 + r/whooooosh + r/downvotedtooblivion + blocked and reported + yo Momma so fat + I fucked your mom last night + what zero pussy does to a mf + Jesse what the fuck are you talking about + holy shit go touch some grass + cry about it + get triggered
November 2021

Reddit

Dear women who post nudes on reddit.

Stop with the fucking " I bet you'll never guess what's under my dress.." It's tits. It's always fucking tits. This is no mystery to anyone, and human anatomy has been the same for over 100k years. Seriously, shut the fuck up. You all do this. Do you really think your tits and asshole are so special that they're going to shift our collective consciousness or something? "I bet the guys at the gym wonder what's under my yoga pants." I bet they already know, and if they fucking don't, maybe you shouldn't be at a kid gym for 4 year olds.
July 2021

Reddit and Twitter changed their logos

twitchquotes: My entire life I’ve been a hardcore anti-minority white man who despised anyone who didn’t look like me, but today I saw reddit and twitter changed their logos to the color black, and now I’m sitting here in shock just thinking about my choices in life. Wow.
twitch chat
June 2020

Mods, I am truly humbled by the timeou

twitchquotes: Mods, I am truly humbled by the timeout. Due to the stupidity of my actions, I've recognised that I've learned my lesson and will no longer make the same mistake by copying and paste again. Here's to a better chat.
twitch chat
July 2022

MODS

Dave’s Hot ‘N Juicy 1/4lb Single

twitchquotes: My god, I would kill someone for a Dave’s Hot ‘N Juicy 1/4lb Single right about now. I mean that bakery bun, coupled with that sexy melted American cheese, the kick of those red onions, and the salty, seasoned square of beef that is always fresh and never frozen cannot be topped anywhere. Every time I bite into a Wendy’s burger, it’s like it’s making love to my tastebuds. I don’t even like eating fast food; unless it’s Wendy’s.
twitch chat
April 2019
NairoMK
Text-to-Speech Playing