[Copypasta] Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

The creation of Among Us and it's consequences have been a disaster for the human race

The creation of Among Us and it's consequences have been a disaster for the human race. Just a few months after youtubers and twitch streamers brought it to fame, it had been loaded with kids infested with the hype of the game among us. Furthermore, the constant use of Among us had rendered the game boring, as it entered the downfall stage of a game's popularity, just like Fall Guys. However, this is not something you should celebrate; since the constant use had also brought a new genre or era of memes, often referred to as post-irony. A bastardized version of Among Us called "Amogus" was used for the game in these meme's contexts, going viral in the Urban Dictionary. All the cultures of normie memes and pre-2020 memes have been wiped off as the "Amogus" meme exploded. Post irony has caused a greater disaster where everybody sees things as the crewmate in the mobile game Among Us. As memes began referring to everything as the crewmate, people have been driven to insanity. People who used to be normal looking at memes were now infected by the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon, which renders everything as something they've seen constantly. "Amogus Everywhere" is the bastardized name of the Phenomenon. Capitalistic-driven people have been competing for a Amogus-crewmate chicken nugget, costing $100,000 at an auction. I hope life returns to normal as Among Us and Amogus have been wiped of the face of this Earth.
July 2021

Among Us / Amogus

WE ARE RITO

twitchquotes: เญงเผผเฒ ็›Šเฒ เผฝเญจ WE ARE RITO เญงเผผเฒ ็›Šเฒ เผฝเญจ
twitch chat
July 2014
Riot Games

League of Legends

Do not call your significant other honey

Do ๐Ÿ‘ not ๐Ÿ‘ call ๐Ÿ‘ your ๐Ÿ‘ significant ๐Ÿ‘ other ๐Ÿ‘ honey ๐Ÿ‘ unless ๐Ÿ‘ you ๐Ÿ‘ are ๐Ÿ‘ a ๐Ÿ‘ bee ๐Ÿ‘ you ๐Ÿ‘ are ๐Ÿ‘ appropriating ๐Ÿ‘ bee ๐Ÿ‘ culture, ๐Ÿ‘ this ๐Ÿ‘ cannot ๐Ÿ‘ bee ๐Ÿ‘ accepted ๐Ÿ‘
October 2021

A woman and a redditor?

A woman and a redditor? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! eyes pop out AROOOOOOOOGA! jaw drops tongue rolls out WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF tongue bursts out of the mouth uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt * ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets BABY WANTS TO FUCK inhales from the gas tank honka honka honka honka ~masturabtes furiously ohhhh my gooooodd~
August 2021

Simps

Good Morning

twitchquotes: ( อกส˜โ•ญอœส–โ•ฎอกส˜) GOOD MORNING ( อกส˜โ•ญอœส–โ•ฎอกส˜)
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing