[Copypasta] Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Your stream has provided a constant influx of salt

twitchquotes: Mr. Kripp, I would like to personally thank you for saving my life. I lead a stressful life and have dangerously high blood sugar. Your stream has provided a constant influx of salt which has balanced my blood sugar levels, and according to the doctor I'm gonna do just fine now. Please remember that every time you get flamestriked, your saltiness cures another middle-aged man like myself of diabetes.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Cute squid

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣉⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡌⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⢹⣿⡿⠋⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠿⣿⣿⡇⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡈⢿⣇⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣾⡿⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⢿⣷⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣴⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣾⡿⠻⣿⣿ ⡏⡄⠸⠟⠃⠈⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠻⣿⡿⠁⠘⠿⠇⢀⢹⣿ ⡅⣿⣄⠀⣰⣾⣿⣷⡄⠘⠟⣡⣶⣿⣿⣦⠈⠁⠰⠿⠃⣠⣿⢸⣿ ⣷⡹⢿⡀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣴⣿⣿⡟⢁⡀⠀⢰⣤⣶⣾⣿⢃⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⣀⠸⣿⣿⡟⠃⠸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠘⣛⠂⠾⠿⢟⣋⣵⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡘⠿⣿⠰⣶⣍⣛⣛⣃⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2021

D3 is boring

twitchquotes: Hmm, something tells me that Kripps audience has gotten enough from D3 for most part... Just can't really put my finger on... ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Intellectually demanding deck

twitchquotes: I scored 160 on the WAIS-IV many years back, at 4 standard deviations from the mean, or at the 99.997th percentile. My childhood IQ score on the SB-LM was 189. Is there a deck that is very intellectually demanding and has an extremely high skill cap that will test my intellect to the very most?
twitch chat
August 2016
Reynad

Hearthstone

why would you NOT immediately tell everyone who killed you?

twitchquotes: So uh. If you're playing Among Us. On a voice call. And you're killed... why would you NOT immediately tell everyone who killed you? Isn't the goal to win if you're crew? Like if you're not gonna tell people on the voice call, why keep doing tasks? What's the point of using the voice comms at all? You're still in it when "dead". To me if a fucking person doesn't use it when they're dead they're throwing. I'd 100% tell my team who killed me if I was killed. The point is for the crew to find out who the impostor is. If you're part of the crew, you should be telling them if you know. If you're not going to do that, you're literally int'ing and throwing. So then why bother doing tasks if you don't want to win? End discussion.
twitch chat
September 2020

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing