[Copypasta] Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

I can't wait for you to be our new maid

twitchquotes: Hi Imaqtpie is Reginald Dinh here. I'm messaging to offer you a spot on my team. I think you'd fill the role very well, to be honest I don't know anyone in the scene who is better equipped. I can't wait for you to be our new maid.
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Among Us pick up lines

Thankful to have you as a crewmate… but do you want to add a letter and become screwmates instead? Hey, are you one of my tasks? Because I really want to do you. Hey, are you a vent? Because I’m the imposter and I’d love to come in you. I have a lot of tasks to complete still, but I’d love to do you first. Hey, call me the MedBay… because I’d love to scan your body. Figuring out the imposter is hard…. but I’ve got something harder. I’m jealous of your hat… Because it gets to be on you. Hey are you busy later? Because I’d love to explore your lower engine. Hey, you’re done your tasks right? Wanna come explore my cockpit then? If you’re the imposter, I’d love to be the vent… That way you can come inside me whenever you want. Damn, I wish you were a task… Because I’d have no problem doing you and over and over. Hey did you just kill me? Because I’ve got a big bone sticking out now…
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

PepeLMAO

⡿⣛⣵⣶⡿⠿⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣯⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣾⣿⣿⣭⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣶⣌⢫⣿⢻⣿⡿⡶⠖⠒⠨⢸⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠆⢃⣾⣯⠮⠂⡒⢠⣠⢄⣙⠝⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡭⠖⢒⠭⠁⠠⠕⢸⢈⣥⣬⠁⠄⢂⢠⣾⣶⠆⣦⣝⡻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠔⠠⠔⠒⠄⡨⣰⠆⢳⠾⢿⣭⣭⣶⠿⠟⠉⠄⠠⠻⣿⣮⢻⣿ ⣿⣷⠶⢒⡞⡱⡚⣠⣎⡁⠴⣊⣠⡆⣷⣿⡷⠖⣀⣠⣶⠶⠞⣁⡀⠄⠘⣿⣷⠹ ⣿⣿⣯⣴⡈⢞⢆⣿⣷⣶⣿⡿⠟⣐⣭⣴⠶⢛⣫⣥⣶⣞⢿⣷⣻⠄⠄⢸⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣶⢤⣍⡉⢡⢀⣰⠾⠟⡁⢴⣶⣹⣿⣷⡹⣿⣷⠻⠏⠄⡀⢸⣿⡇ ⣿⡟⣸⣿⡿⠋⡺⠠⡃⢀⣋⢥⣶⡻⣿⣯⢿⢷⣙⣿⣽⣰⣿⡏⣷⢰⡇⣼⣿⡇ ⣿⣇⣿⣿⡇⣿⡇⠄⠄⠻⣿⣧⢿⣷⡻⣿⣧⢿⣿⡾⣿⣧⣿⣧⡟⣼⣱⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠙⣿⣧⠸⣄⠘⠻⣵⢻⣷⡽⣿⣏⣿⣷⠿⣛⣈⡍⣰⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⠛⢷⣼⣿⣷⣌⡻⠛⣓⣛⣉⣤⠴⠿⢛⣡⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠡ ⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡦⣌⣉⣉⣉⣛⣛⣶⣶⣶⢶⣶⣶⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢋⣴⡇ ⣶⣦⣍⣛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠾⠿⠿⠿⠿⢓⣛⣩⡅⢰⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⣒⠲⢾⣶⣶⣿⣿⠿⠟⣋⣴⣿⣿⣿
December 2018

Pepe

Thinking Emoji

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May 2017

Classic

Trolling my whole class with Among Us Part 3

We had a school assembly today, and the speaker was talking about bullying. The speech was pretty boring, but there came a point in his presentation where he said "I know there are some students among us who have been subject to bullying." Honestly, I couldn't believe my ears. I thought, "There is no way the speaker just said Among Us." I decided to troll the speaker by standing up and yelling "When the imposter is sus!" while making a huge grin (just like in the memes). To my surprise, no one laughed. Everyone fell dead silent and looked at me. The speaker said "I'm sorry, what was that?" I decided to explain to everyone what I was talking about, and said "Get it guys? It's from Among Us." Still, no one understood the reference. I turned towards my friend Caleb (I know him from band), and said "You get it, right? It's from among us!" However, he had his head buried into his lap. I looked at my friend Dalton (He plays the trumpet in band, just like I do), and yelled "Dalton, do you get the joke????" He didn't even make eye contact. Suddenly, the assistant principal came up behind me and said "Please sit down, this is a school assembly." I screamed back at her "SCHOOL ASSEMBLY?? MORE LIKE EMERGENCY MEETING!" I then naruto ran down to the stage, pointed at the assistant principal, and said "SHE'S SUS!!! I SAW HER FAKE A SCAN IN MEDBAY!" Still, no one laughed. I then said "I'm not the imposter, I was in vents the whole time!!" (referencing a meme). No one understood the reference. I saw people whispering to each other, but no one laughed. I then made a face resembling the "big chungus" meme, and said "You guys don't get it?? That's not very Wholesome 100." When I realized no one was laughing, I yelled "Don't any of you guys use reddit?" The audience was dead silent, until someone yelled "Sit down!" (which was very rude and not wholesome) I pointed back at him and shouted "You're breathtaking!!" I don't think anyone got the joke becaude no one laughed, so I said "Do you guys know who Keanu Reeves is?" No one responded, which is kind of cringe because I thought that at least SOMEONE would know who Keanu is. I ended up getting escorted to the principal's office and getting suspended for a week, but in my opinion, it was totally worth it. I trolled EVERYONE. I'm gonna forever go down in Reddit history. I also realized that there aren't any redditors at my school (which is very cringe in my opinion).
March 2021

Trolling with Among Us

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing