[Copypasta] Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
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All Star by Ben Shapiro

Now, lets say, hypothetically, that somebody once told me that the world would proceed to roll me, and made the claim that I was not, the smartest tool in the shed. Which would lead us to look at the facts and see that she was looking kind of dumb, due to the fact that she had placed her finger and her thumb, in the shape of the letter L, located on her forehead. This would mean that the years would start coming, and logically wont stop coming, that I was, hypothetically, fed to the rules, which would proceed with me hitting the ground running. Which didnโ€™t make sense, to live for fun, in a way that your brain gets smart, yet your head gets dumb, seeing as thereโ€™s so much to do, and so much to see, so now I must pose the question, what is wrong with taking the backseat? This is due to the fact that youโ€™ll never know if you donโ€™t go, nor you will shine if you donโ€™t glow. For you see, you are, at this moment, an All-Star, so get your game on, and proceed to go play, indeed, youโ€™re an All-Star, get the show on, which would entitled you to get paid. That would mean that all that glitters, is indeed gold, and that only shooting stars, can participate in the process of breaking the mold.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Keepo

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘ โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014

I fucked Up DVD

Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken DVD over and realized that it was not a blank DVD, but a copy of the Pixar movie Up.. Well guys, guess I fucked up.
April 2022

Classic

Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku

twitchquotes: Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku, the shapeshifting Master of Darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil! But a foolish Samurai warrior, wielding a magic sword, stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time and flung him into the future, where my evil is law! Now the fool seeks to return to the past, and undo the future that is Aku!
twitch chat
June 2017

As Kripp installed the minecraft

twitchquotes: แด€s แด‹ส€ษชแด˜แด˜ ษชษดsแด›แด€สŸสŸแด‡แด… แด›สœแด‡ แดษชษดแด‡แด„ส€แด€า“แด› ษช สœแด‡สŸแด… แด›สœแด‡ แด…แด€ษขษขแด‡ส€ แด›แด แดส สœแด‡แด€ส€แด›. ษช ส€แด‡แดแด‡แดส™แด‡ส€ แด€ แด›ษชแดแด‡ แดกสœแด‡ษด แด‹ส€ษชแด˜แด˜ แดกแดแดœสŸแด…ษดฮ‡แด› แด›แดแดœแด„สœ แด›สœแด‡sแด‡ ษขแด€แดแด‡s. ษช ส€แด‡แดแด‡แดส™แด‡ส€ แด€ แด‹ส€ษชแด˜แด˜ แดกสœแด แดกแด€s ษดแดสŸษชา“แด‡. ษดแดแดก ษช แด€แด ษดแดสŸษชา“แด‡. ษขแดแดแด…ส™สแด‡ แด‹ส€ษชแด˜แด˜.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
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