[Copypasta] Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
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Chinese characters wave

twitchquotes: ๅŽ‚ไธ‹ๅนฟๅžๅปฟๅฃซๅไธ€ๅ‰ๅŠไธŽๆœฌไบŒไธŠๆ—ฆไธŠไบŒๆœฌไธŽๅŠๅ‰ไธ€ๅๅฃซๅปฟๅžๅนฟไธ‹ๅŽ‚ไธ‹ๅนฟๅžๅปฟๅฃซๅไธ€ๅ‰ๅŠไธŽๆœฌไบŒไธŠๆ—ฆไธŠไบŒๆœฌไธŽๅŠๅ‰ไธ€ๅๅฃซๅปฟๅžๅนฟไธ‹ๅŽ‚ไธ‹ๅนฟๅžๅปฟๅฃซๅไธ€ๅ‰ๅŠไธŽๆœฌไบŒไธŠๆ—ฆไธŠไบŒๆœฌไธŽๅŠๅ‰ไธ€ๅๅฃซๅปฟๅžๅนฟไธ‹ๅŽ‚ไธ‹ๅนฟๅžๅปฟๅฃซๅไธ€ๅ‰ๅŠไธŽๆœฌไบŒไธŠๆ—ฆไธŠไบŒๆœฌไธŽๅŠๅ‰ไธ€ๅๅฃซๅปฟๅžๅนฟไธ‹ๅŽ‚ไธ‹ๅนฟๅžๅปฟๅฃซๅไธ€ๅ‰ๅŠไธŽๆœฌไบŒไธŠๆ—ฆไธŠไบŒๆœฌไธŽๅŠๅ‰ไธ€ๅๅฃซๅปฟๅžๅนฟไธ‹ๅŽ‚ไธ‹ๅนฟๅžๅปฟๅฃซๅไธ€ๅ‰ๅŠไธŽๆœฌไบŒไธŠๆ—ฆไธŠไบŒๆœฌไธŽๅŠๅ‰ไธ€ๅๅฃซๅปฟๅžๅนฟไธ‹ๅŽ‚ไธ‹ๅนฟๅžๅปฟๅฃซๅไธ€ๅ‰ๅŠไธŽๆœฌไบŒไธŠๆ—ฆไธŠไบŒๆœฌไธŽๅŠๅ‰ไธ€ๅๅฃซๅปฟๅžๅนฟไธ‹ๅŽ‚ไธ‹ๅนฟๅžๅปฟๅฃซๅไธ€ๅ‰ๅŠไธŽๆœฌไบŒไธŠๆ—ฆไธŠไบŒๆœฌไธŽๅŠๅ‰ไธ€ๅๅฃซๅปฟๅžๅนฟไธ‹ๅŽ‚ไธ‹ๅนฟๅžๅปฟๅฃซๅไธ€ๅ‰ๅŠไธŽๆœฌไบŒไธŠๆ—ฆไธŠไบŒๆœฌไธŽๅŠๅ‰ไธ€ๅๅฃซๅปฟๅžๅนฟไธ‹ๅŽ‚ไธ‹ๅนฟๅžๅปฟๅฃซๅไธ€ๅ‰ๅŠไธŽๆœฌไบŒไธŠๆ—ฆไธŠไบŒๆœฌไธŽๅŠๅ‰ไธ€ๅๅฃซๅปฟๅžๅนฟไธ‹ๅนฟๅžๅปฟๅฃซๅไธ€ๅ‰ๅŠไธŽๆœฌไบŒไธŠๆ—ฆ
twitch chat
April 2016
Kripp

Troll face kid

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆ
ascii art
March 2021

Mitch is the type of dude who...

Mitch McConnell shaves his face with the same razor he shaves his nuts and butt hole Mitch the type of guy to put on sunglasses to get another free sample at Costco Mitch the type of guy that says "you too" when the waitress tells him to enjoy his meal. Mitch the kinda guy to leave โ€œsmile moreโ€ on the tip section of a receipt Mitch is the type of dude who says "Ni Hao" to the waiter at a Thai restaurant Mitch the type of guy to shower then shit Mitch McConnell claps when the plane lands Mitch is the type of dude who thinks crest toothpaste is spicy Mitch the kind of guy that uses self checkout with a full cart.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Zeus hates Kripp's casualness

twitchquotes: Hแด‡สŸสŸแด แด‹ส€ษชแด˜แด˜, แด›สœษชs ษชs Zแด‡แดœs, Gแดแด… แดา“ OสŸสแดแด˜แดœs. I สœแด€แด แด‡ ส™แด‡แด‡ษด ษชษดา“แดส€แดแด‡แด… ส™ส แดส sแด‡ส€แด แด€ษดแด›s แด›สœแด€แด› สแดแดœ แด€ส€แด‡ แด…ษชsษขส€แด€แด„ษชษดษข แดส สœแดสŸส สŸแด€ษดแด… แดกษชแด›สœ สแดแดœส€ แด„แด€sแดœแด€สŸษดแด‡ss. Yแดแดœ สœแด€แด แด‡ two แดแดส€แด‡ แด…แด€สs แด›แด sแดœแดแดแดษด ส™แด€แด„แด‹ สแดแดœส€ สœแด€ส€แด…แด„แดส€แด‡ ส€แดแดแด›s แดส€ แด‡สŸsแด‡ I'แด ษขแดษชษดษข แด›แด แด€ษดษดษชสœษชสŸแด€แด›แด‡ สแดแดœส€ แด„แด€ษดแด€แด…ษชแด€ษด แด…แดษดษขแด‡ส€ แดกษชแด›สœ แดส +25% แด…แดษข แด›แด สŸษชษขสœแด›ษดษชษดษข sแด‹ษชสŸสŸ.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

I was BANNED from my local super smash bros melee scene

twitchquotes: I was BANNED from my local super smash bros melee scene. They use the local community college to host this and TOLD ME BY EMAIL IF I CAME THERE THEY WOULD NOT ALLOW ME IN. This was out of nowhere so I immediately called the TO, who told me why. He said it was because I was frequently toxic and angry. He said that I yell at players and make them uncomfortable and scared, and that a girl quit because of me. While I DO sometimes get frustrated and vocalize it, so do many other people I am simply being discriminated against my voice is naturally deeper than most. also the truth is a girl never quit that is a complete lie, she was just butthurt that she was worst than everyone there. I'm so fucking irate. I've been a member of this community FOR YEARS and just now I'm a nuisance? I am entitled to a certain level of RESPECT for being a veteran player. I'm looking into finding a lawyer who get me unbanned. There MUST be a law that prevents people from arbitrarily banning others from certain locations without written documents proving it (the TO just SAID I was banned he did not provide any evidence.) The TO isn't rich or anything so I don't think I would have to ask a lot from him, I think he'd break under just pressure of lawsuit.
twitch chat
January 2019

Super Smash Bros

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