[Copypasta] Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Dadnad and Momnad

twitchquotes: hello son, Dadnad here. Please don't waste your life away in front of that computer playing some card game. Text that girl, Lea, and play that guitar for her. Did I ever tell you that's how I woo'd Momnad? Kids these days, don't let me down, son.
twitch chat
May 2014
Reynad

Uganda Knuckles

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣋⣩⣭⣭⣭⣉⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⣠⣴⣭⣹⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢣⣼⣿⣿⠛⠁⠘⠿⠿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠛⠛⠁⣿⣿⡯⣫⣤⣴⣶⣶⣤⣭⣛⡸⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⢀⣴⣷⠬⣉⣀⣈⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⣝⣛⣯⣤⣤⣤⣤⣭⣛⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠈⠉⣽⣶⣶⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⢛⡛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣷⡌⢻⣿ ⣀⢰⣿⣦⡝⠛⢷⣮⡛⠻⣿⣿⣿⠿⢛⣫⣵⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣣⣾⣿ ⣿⢸⣿⡿⠀⣿⣶⣝⢿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣩⣵⣶⠇⣿⣿⣿⢹ ⣿⢸⣿⠀⡇⢹⣿⣿⡶⠎⣙⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢟⣛⣩⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⣸⣿⣿⠇⣸ ⣿⡇⠛⢠⣿⡀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠁⠀⣿⡿⠃⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣷⡘⢿⡇⢸⣦⣤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣤⡄⠼⢋⣴⡇⠸⢋ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⡃⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⡿⢀⣠⣾
November 2018

Professional Penguin Wrestling Champion

twitchquotes: hello. i am 18 years old and i am a profesonal penguin wrestling champion. i have won all matches with penguins but now i need money to go to the north pole so i can wrestle with the penguin king so please donate to me. please dont copy and paste my life story
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Where can I go to find some high octane gaming?

twitchquotes: So I says to my friend, I says, "Where can I go to find some high octane gaming?". He replies, "You should check out MoonMoon on Twitch. He go hard". I come watch this stream only to find medium octane gaming. What a grotasque, lecherous hag my friend is.
twitch chat
January 2017
MOONMOON

Overwatch

Kripp should change his name to hl_kripp

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Liferino, CEO of No Life Incorporated©. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has life) as you no longer are a "no life". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing