[Copypasta] With Intel Core i7, hes just getting started

twitchquotes: Think he cant clutch through a smoke while recording in full resolution and streaming the play to the world? Watch this. Think u cant get famous in a flash like become your own meme famous? Watch this. Think hes been there, done that? With Intel Core i7, hes just getting started.
twitch chat
April 2019
From a cringey Intel commercial: https://clips.twitch.tv/SecretiveTrustworthySardineAMPEnergy
I used to be a real ad
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DickButt

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ascii art
August 2015

Bike

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ascii art
July 2018

FNATIC World Championships

▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮āŪœÛĐ۞ÛĐāŪœâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Ž ████░██▄░██░░▄███▄░░████░██░░▄███▄ ██▄░░███▄██░██▀░▀██░░██░░██░██▀░▀▀ ██▀░░██▀███░███████░░██░░██░██▄░▄▄ ██░░░██░░██░██░░░██░░██░░██░░▀███▀ ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮āŪœÛĐ۞ÛĐāŪœâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Ž
ascii art
October 2015
Riot Games

League of Legends

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

I love watching QT games

twitchquotes: I love watching QT games. It always shows me that no matter how far behind a team is, they can come back and stomp QT; truly inspiring.
twitch chat
May 2019
imaqtpie

League of Legends

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