The great GameStop short squeeze of 2021. https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/l2wx2p/weekend_discussion_thread_for_the_weekend_of/gk8lwtb
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More WallStreetBets Copypastas
a tesla drives down the street in 2021
the year is 2021
A tesla drives down the street
unknowing of the danger behind it
a beast of American metal and lightning
The driver realizes he is in danger in his commie-fornia shoebox
He presses the pussy pedal as hard as he can
It cannot save him, he can hear the music already
"THIS IS GAWWWWWD'S COUNTRRRRRYYYYYYY"
He realizes he is already dead
In an instant he becomes like a fly in the grill of a truck
In the grill of the Ford F-150 EV
It stops for no one
the year is 2021
A tesla drives down the street
unknowing of the danger behind it
a beast of American metal and lightning
The driver realizes he is in danger in his commie-fornia shoebox
He presses the pussy pedal as hard as he can
It cannot save him, he can hear the music already
"THIS IS GAWWWWWD'S COUNTRRRRRYYYYYYY"
He realizes he is already dead
In an instant he becomes like a fly in the grill of a truck
In the grill of the Ford F-150 EV
It stops for no one
I challenge you to “Turtle King”
Before my ban, someone challenged me to a duel with cocks.
I challenge you to “Turtle King” instead.
We each dock our unhardened cocks into each other, then we put on clips of Yellen speaking during FOMC meetings.
The first to effectively go from flaccid to erect and push the other out of the “dock” is crowned Turtle 🤴.
Dual me, I’m 4-0.
Before my ban, someone challenged me to a duel with cocks.
I challenge you to “Turtle King” instead.
We each dock our unhardened cocks into each other, then we put on clips of Yellen speaking during FOMC meetings.
The first to effectively go from flaccid to erect and push the other out of the “dock” is crowned Turtle 🤴.
Dual me, I’m 4-0.
You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders
You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him.
All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry."
You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'√π3?"
Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream.
You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas.
In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow.
YOLO you whisper.
You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him.
All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry."
You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'√π3?"
Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream.
You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas.
In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow.
YOLO you whisper.
Kelly Loeffler after Georgia senate election
Kelly Loeffler I know you're at home right now feeling a little sad. And now you're in bed browsing WSB looking for hot stock tips with maybe a few laughs. But just know this: I will have sex with you. DM me.
Kelly Loeffler I know you're at home right now feeling a little sad. And now you're in bed browsing WSB looking for hot stock tips with maybe a few laughs. But just know this: I will have sex with you. DM me.
Man i love bull markets
Man i love bull markets. Tried to type in the ticker for MAXN yesterday to buy some but MAGN came up instead. Didn't know wtf it was but I was too lazy to redo my search so I bought that instead and it started mooning.
Man i love bull markets. Tried to type in the ticker for MAXN yesterday to buy some but MAGN came up instead. Didn't know wtf it was but I was too lazy to redo my search so I bought that instead and it started mooning.
