[Copypasta] I am financially ruined

I came here for the first time and in 3 minutes made the decision to put way more than I can afford into PLTR calls. I’m too retarded and now I literally dont know what to do I am financially ruined and I can’t even remember what I read that said this pltr thing was a good move. Fml
December 2020

WallStreetBets

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Holding Galactic Virgins

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Fuck you all, I’m never listening to this sub again.

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Genetics is the future

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December 2020

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Stimulus hopes in the year is 2025

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December 2020

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