[Copypasta] Why not just play melee?

twitchquotes: I find it so weird that the smash4 crowd is so hype that ultimate "moves more like melee" Like if youre so torqued about melee movement why not just.. play melee? The game is already out, doesn't require a 300$ console, is likely a better game, and doesn't have an expiration date
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December 2018

Super Smash Bros

What happened to this ad? :(
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Competitive Super Smash Bros Melee has reached its zenith

twitchquotes: The year is 20XX. Competitive Super Smash Bros Melee has reached its zenith. No longer are matches decided through complex inputs and tactics. It began when some questioned the idea of matchups against characters. The community realized that gameplay no longer mattered, and only the character. Tournaments became complex games of rock-paper-scissors, and eventually another epiphany was had. Why bother with deciding afterwards and wasting time when the match could be decided before it began? Thus, referees decided who won and who lost automatically using a combination of facial recognition AI, mandatory reflex tests, and standardized quizzes and tests on military tactics and stratagem. With time, tests weren't even needed. Judges became so acute at deciding who won and who lost that tournaments happened in seconds, and results uploaded in less. The final destination was reached. Babies were bred and engineered to become the most desirable "players", if one could call it that. Soon, humanity ceased to think, and became mindless slaves to the autonomous ones and zeroes that decided their worth, ironically becoming the machines they once played with.
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May 2020

Super Smash Bros

Pecan ice and pecan butter

twitchquotes: do yall remember those two little white boy in super smash bros brawl who would scream pecan ice and pecan butter or whatever it was they were yelling? I hated them so much they used to get me in so much trouble when I would stay up late and play nintendo because no matter how low the volume on the damn tv was my mom would hear their shill *** voices going PECAN ICE PECAN BUTTER from all the way down the hall in her room and tell me to go to bed I will never forgive them
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February 2017

Super Smash Bros

This ZeRo guy seems pretty good

twitchquotes: This ZeRo guy seems pretty good. He could be a top player in a few months or maybe even #1.
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January 2019

Super Smash Bros

I hate esam and want to suplex him

twitchquotes: Esam put Ken as a low tier. Listen you bald normie, just because he takes brain power to play efficiently unlike your Braindead main Pikachu doesn't mean he's bad. I actually hate esam and I want to suplex him.
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April 2019
pgESAM

Super Smash Bros

Joker fursona bodyguard

twitchquotes: Okay CLEARLY sakurai is playing favorites already wtf. Joker is literally bayo, cloud, olimar put together. He gave him a GUN for gods sake and you LMFAO you can’t even hurt his fursona bodyguard ohmygod
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April 2019

Super Smash Bros

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