[Copypasta] Minecraft, but he's torturing my cock and balls.

In this video, I have to beat Minecraft while my friend is torturing my cock and balls. He has a humbler, a stretcher and can actively kick them at any time he wishes. Can I beat the Ender Dragon before my testicles are ruptured? Watch to find out. Also, according to Youtube statistics, only a small percentage of people who watch my videos are actually subscribed, so if you end up liking this video, consider subscribing. It's free and you can always unsubscribe. Enjoy the video.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

The pandemic in 2028 is kinda sus

Year is 2028 The pandemic has gotten so bad we are all forced to wear colored isolation suits with their own oxygen tank and no hands for contact. Those infected are turned into sociopathic murders that try to secretly kill everyone, but still dress and act like the rest of us. I work as a spaceship engineer in the Skled along with 9 other people. We just got notified that one among us was infected, but we still have to keep maintaining the ship otherwise it will explode. We are trying to figure out who it is by voting. 2 of us are already dead and i saw red vent, but nobody believes me. I think the others want to vote me off. This might be the last thing i'll write. Goodbye. Tell me wife i love her.
January 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Coronavirus

COVID

Blizzard changes Fiery War Axe

twitchquotes: The other option we considered for Fiery War Axe was to lower its attack to 2, but that change didn’t feel intuitive enough. Generally, changing the mana cost of a card is less disruptive, because you can always see the mana cost of cards in your hand. LUL
twitch chat
September 2017

Hearthstone

All of twitch seems to follow you almost like a cult

twitch chat
November 2014
Trick2g

Dance party

β–‘β–‘β”Œβ”€β”€β”β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”Œβ”€β”€β”β–‘β–‘ β–‘β•”β•‘β–β–β•žβ•β–‘β–‘β”Œβ”€β”€β”β–‘β–‘β•”β•‘β–β–β•žβ•β–‘ β–‘β–‘β””β•₯β•₯β”˜β–‘β–‘β•šβ•‘β–Œβ–Œβ•žβ•—β–‘β–‘β””β•₯β•₯β”˜β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β•šβ•šβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β””β•₯β•₯β”˜β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β•šβ•šβ–‘β–‘β–‘ ░░░░░░░░░░╝╝░░░ DANCE PARTY β–‘β–‘β”Œβ”€β”€β”β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”Œβ”€β”€β”β–‘β–‘ β–‘β•”β•‘XXβ•žβ•β–‘β–‘β”Œβ”€β”€β”β–‘β–‘β•”β•‘XXβ•žβ•β–‘ β–‘β–‘β””β•₯β•₯β”˜β–‘β–‘β•šβ•‘XXβ•žβ•—β–‘β–‘β””β•₯β•₯β”˜β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β•šβ•šβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β””β•₯β•₯β”˜β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β•šβ•šβ–‘β–‘β–‘ ░░░░░░░░░░╝╝░░░░░░░░░░
November 2014

Unrealized losses

She runs her hand through your thinning hair and laughs. β€œWhat?” you ask absentmindedly. You’re looking at Futures, and you’re surprised to see them red. β€œI want you to play with me.” She says it playfully, but the single ounce of you that isn’t totally aloof realizes she said this in earnest. And so you do. You throw your phone, and you pin her to the sofa, then the ground. You both roll about, wrestling, like lion cubs. Kissing, lightly biting. Sometime later, you both stop, breathing hard. She grabs an open bottle of red wine, and you pass it back and forth. Eventually she says, β€œI want to do that more.” But you’ve already found your phone again to check Futures. Still red. β€œUh huh,” you say, distracted. She stares at you for a long moment, but you don’t realize it. Silently, she gets up and goes to bed, and you don’t say a word because you don’t notice. She hasn’t left you yet, but she will soon. Unrealized losses.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

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