[Copypasta] Minecraft, but he's torturing my cock and balls.

In this video, I have to beat Minecraft while my friend is torturing my cock and balls. He has a humbler, a stretcher and can actively kick them at any time he wishes. Can I beat the Ender Dragon before my testicles are ruptured? Watch to find out. Also, according to Youtube statistics, only a small percentage of people who watch my videos are actually subscribed, so if you end up liking this video, consider subscribing. It's free and you can always unsubscribe. Enjoy the video.
June 2021
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More Copypastas

Red powder found on Summoner's Rift

twitchquotes: Imaqtpie's games were delayed today after a red powder was found on the rift. After analysis, Rioters determined the red substance, unknown to Imaqtpie, was the remnants of an enemy nexus. Games resumed after Rioters decided Imaqtpie was unlikely to encounter the substance again.
twitch chat
August 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

agontfHi emote

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠛⣉⣥⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣤ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢋⣡⣤⣶⣶⣶⣷⣶⣶⣭⣽⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠟⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣠⡿⠋⣉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟ ⢸⣿⣦⣝⢿⣿⢏⣴⣿⣄⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⡦⢩⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠈⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢙⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⠟⢠ ⠸⣿⣿⣿⣧⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡈⠄⢀⣀⣀⣙⣛⣛⡛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢠⣿ ⡆⢿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠹⣿⣿⣿⣷⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣘⣵⣿⣿⢿⠹⣿⣿⡏⣼⣿ ⣧⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠈⠙⣿⣿⣿⣮⣭⣭⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣃⣼⣾⣿⣿⡇⢻⣿ ⣿⣧⠉⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠈⢿ ⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⢠⣿▄▄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⡻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄
March 2021
AgonTFT

Teamfight Tactics

Citizens of Dalaran!

twitchquotes: Citizens of Dalaran! Raise your eyes to the skies and observe! Today our world's destruction has been averted in defiance of our very makers! Algalon the Observer, herald of the titans, has been defeated by our brave comrades in the depths of the titan city of Ulduar. Algalon was sent here to judge the fate of our world. He found a planet whose races had deviated from the titans' blueprints. A planet where not everything had gone according to plan.
twitch chat
July 2017

Valor To Me!

twitchquotes: (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง ᴠᴀʟᴏʀ, ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง <;º ༽ sǫᴜᴀᴀᴋ <;º ༽
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing