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didn't expect to queue into you this game

twitchquotes: oh hey toast, didn't expect to queue into you this game haha so random! i'm actually streaming rn as well on my stream at twitchtv/xxxxxx maybe you can host me :) no big deal if not. enjoy your content! i'm streaming atm so check me out!
twitch chat
August 2019
DisguisedToast

Teamfight Tactics

I'm sorry for the comments I made. Please unban me

twitchquotes: I'm sorry for the comments I made. They were far beyond the point of being considered appropriate. You are an incredible person & me having been under the influence of alcohol is no excuse for allowing my behaviour to continue for as long as it did. I swear by God's gracious gift of free will that if you ever allow me to be an active member of your community again I will never follow the precedent I'd set for myself leading up to your rational decision to ban me. i think you're really cool.
twitch chat
January 2022
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Program and Control Man

twitchquotes: We are all living in Pac-Man’s world. You know what Pac stands for? P.A.C Program and Control. He’s program and Control Man. The whole thing’s a metaphor. All he can do is consume. He’s pursued by demons that are probably just in his own mind.
twitch chat
March 2019

Super Smash Bros

Before I know it, the entire neighbourhood is soaked

twitchquotes: Hi, Reckfull here, from noLife gaming. This is just a friendly reminder that whenever I see BabyRage or something similar, I lose control of my bodily functions and go into a mad, crazed state of unrelenting sexual frenzy! Before I know it, the entire neighborhood is soaked, and worst of all, I have to order a new Mr. Duckβ„’ every time! So please, remember to keep your children at least 100 yards from my property, and try to keep the BabyRage to a minimum, for everyone's sake. Thanks!
twitch chat
November 2014
Reckful

George Orwell ruined my life

I’m a huge fan of 1984, especially the writing of the characters and dialogue in it. There was a girl I liked at school, and I tried to think of the smartest and most clever way to ask her out. I decided to be like Winston, telling her how much I used to hate her and how I wanted to rape her and smash her head into a wall. However, instead of being wooed like I expected, she got mad at me and told the Principal and said I was β€œsexually harassing” her. It’s clear she just wasn’t intelligent enough for me and was embarrassed. However, no one wanted to hear my reasoning. I’ve been given detention and my parents have been informed, and despite how I’m clearly in the right everyone seems to think I’m some weirdo now. This truly is a dystopian society we live in......
September 2021
What happened to this ad? :(

It's called empathy

Sometimes watching porn I like to pretend I'm the "woman" it's called empathy not homosexuality.
April 2021

WallStreetBets

We The Sus Music changed my dad

So my dad is a raging homophobe. When I was 7 yrs old he nearly beat me to death for sleeping in the same bed as my friend in Minecraft. He overheard me listening to this song and burst into my room. I braced for impact, fearing the worst. Instead he remained silent and I saw this strange look in his eyes that I'd never seen before. He just divorced my mom and told us he is moving to Puerto Rico with his longtime partner Antonio Banderas and he's not coming back. Thank you We The Sus Music!
June 2021

Derpo Spamu-desu

twitchquotes: Hello my name is Derpo Spamu-desu, I am the last spamurai ........... if you wanna be part of this ancient japanese tradition spam your ascii and troll texts all over twitch. May the spam be with you! ▬▬ι═══════ﺀ
twitch chat
January 2015
imaqtpie

I'm actually a pretty advanced bait station designer

I'm actually a pretty advanced bait station designer. While my formal education is a bit lacking, my cad and computer animation skills are really good, and I have some truly paradigm shifting ideas for bait stations, both vr and non vr. currently in the beginning stages of seeking VC funds, really trying to move my operation from San Antonio to Austin, a second location could triple my revenue right now. Obviously right now all our orders are high end custom stations, way out of reach for the avg wsb user. Its my dream to one day be able to produce real bait stations in a production environment. Right now my company is in talks with several engineering firms out of Seoul to take our cum recycling system and some how use the energy from the spent cum to recharge the batteries. While the technology is new. It has huge applications. Imagine when you go to charge your tsla, its powered completely by cum. No longer must we let our nonbiological female prostitutes flush our GOLD down the toilet post coitus, that shit is going to drive our new society. The money we save as a society on sock costs alone is tremendous.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Luigi's donger

twitchquotes: In 2018 Nintendo released official marketing art that featured Luigi in Mario Tennis, fans were able to figure out the length of Luigi’s penis by measuring the tennis racket compared to luigi’s bulge in the image. Since Tennis rackets are 28 inches long in real life, by measuring the pixels we were able to mathematically deduce that Luigi’s penis is 3.7 inches flacid.
twitch chat
December 2020
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021

come on chat. smoke with me

twitchquotes: FeelsOkayMan 🚬 πŸ’¨ come on chat. smoke with me.
twitch chat
March 2018

Please take this seriously

twitchquotes: Chat please don't copy pasta my serious question. I'm trying to engage with our streamer to learn more about Hearthstone gameplay. Please take this seriously.
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

Meanwhile in Qtpie's chat

twitchquotes: Meanwhile in Qtpie's chat: ~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€ ~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€~ Kappa ~ Kappa γ€€ γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€€~ Kappa
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

Seafood dinner over skype on a dial up internet connection

twitch chat
January 2015
strifecro
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

I know Pikachu dittos are pretty wild looking

twitchquotes: I know Pikachu dittos are pretty wild looking, but I'm hoping viewers watch w/ an open mind. Beneath what looks like Quick Attack spam is actually a lot of depth in the MU. Knowing when to press the B button is important. Pika dealing with his own height is intriguing too.
twitch chat
March 2019

Super Smash Bros

Chairarrian's message to Kripp

twitchquotes: Hᴇʏ KΚ€Ιͺᴘᴘ, Ιͺα΄›s CΚœα΄€ΙͺΚ€α΄€Κ€Κ€Ιͺα΄€Ι΄. I α΄„α΄€Ι΄α΄› ᴛᴀᴋᴇ α΄›ΚœΙͺs ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ, ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ sα΄›α΄α΄˜ ᴜsΙͺΙ΄Ι’ ᴍᴇ α΄€s Κα΄α΄œΚ€ Κ€α΄€ΚŸΚŸΚ α΄ α΄‡ΚœΙͺα΄„ΚŸα΄‡,Ιͺ α΄„α΄€Ι΄α΄› sα΄›α΄€Ι΄α΄… ɒᴇᴛᴛΙͺΙ΄Ι’ α΄…ΙͺΚ€α΄›Ιͺᴇʀ.
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

The Picture

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, Micheal here. Yes, your highschool boyfriend. I still have our private picture. "The picture". If you dont want this to be posted on internet - send me your cat.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

imagine how much weed Aang could smoke at once

Bro imagine how much weed Aang could smoke at once, like, he probably wouldn't even need a pipe to smoke a while oz of it he could just burn it with his firebending and use his airbending to bend the smoke into his lungs, which could hold a lot because he's an air bender, just imagine how much he could smoke, you pass him a full bowl and he just dumps it out into his hands and take the whole thing in one hit and asks for another, imagine how much weed he could go through in a single session since he's the Avatar and and could do as much as he wants since he won't green out he would just go into the Avatar state
January 2021
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

TempoStorm = Illuminati

twitchquotes: Those 2 names share 4 letters. Half way between 2 and 4 is 3. Hyp3d also has a 3 in his name. A triangle has 3 sides. Illuminati is a triangle. TempoStorm = Illuminati CONFIRMED MATH CANT BE WRONG GUYS
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing