So my dad is a raging homophobe. When I was 7 yrs old he nearly beat me to death for sleeping in the same bed as my friend in Minecraft. He overheard me listening to this song and burst into my room. I braced for impact, fearing the worst. Instead he remained silent and I saw this strange look in his eyes that I'd never seen before.
He just divorced my mom and told us he is moving to Puerto Rico with his longtime partner Antonio Banderas and he's not coming back. Thank you We The Sus Music!
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
I sexually Identify as a Bastion
twitchquotes:
I sexually Identify as a Bastion. Ever since I was a transistor I dreamed of being nanoboosted and firing cannonballs on the disgusting enemy team. People tell me that being a Siege Automaton is impossible but I don't care, I'm overpowered. I’m having a plastic surgeon install treads, a gattling gun and a nanoboost on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me BOOSTED and respect my right to take 35% less damage 100% of the time. If not, you're an omnic-phobe and need to check your human privileges
twitch chat
Overwatch
I sexually Identify as
Legality of Wario
twitchquotes:
In order to move units of his "Microgames" Wario "borrows" patented characters, IPs, and game mechanics from beloved Nintendo franchises. Somehow he hasn't yet been called out, let alone legally challenged for it. That's not even touching on the working conditions he subjects his friends to, and the fact that they rarely, if ever, see the revenue their creations bring in. I'm not sure what copyright laws they have in Diamond City, but I seriously think that someone needs to sue that fat con artist for all he's worth.
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Super Smash Bros
Unseen donger is the deadliest
My name is Mighticus Totemicus Spamicus
twitchquotes:
<:::::[]=¤◥█̆◤My name is Mighticus Totemicus Spamicus, commander of the Armies of the RNG, General of the ◥█̆◤ Legions, loyal servant to the true Shaman Kripparrian. Buff to a ◥█̆◤ son, and buff to a ◥█̆◤ wife. I will make all totems mighty, whether in this game or the next. <:::::[]=¤◥█̆◤
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Kripp
Hearthstone
I've been making memes since I was 11
twitchquotes:
Lɪsᴛᴇɴ ᴅᴜᴅᴇ, I'ᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴍᴇᴍᴇs sɪɴᴄᴇ I ᴡᴀs 11, ɪʀᴏɴɪᴄᴀʟʟʏ ᴍᴇᴍᴇɪɴɢ sɪɴᴄᴇ I ᴡᴀs 17, ᴀɴᴅ ᴀɴᴛɪ-ɪʀᴏɴɪᴄᴀʟʟʏ ᴀɴᴛɪ-ᴍᴇᴍᴇɪɴɢ sɪɴᴄᴇ ɪ ᴡᴀs 20. Iᴠᴇ ᴄʟᴇᴀʀʟʏ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴀʜᴇᴀᴅ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴍᴇᴛᴀᴄʜɪɴᴏ ғᴏʀ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ 6 ʏᴇᴀʀs ɴᴏᴡ. Gᴇᴛ ᴀ ɢʀɪᴘ ᴜ ғᴜᴄᴋɪɴ ɴᴇʀᴅ :^)
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Kripp