So my dad is a raging homophobe. When I was 7 yrs old he nearly beat me to death for sleeping in the same bed as my friend in Minecraft. He overheard me listening to this song and burst into my room. I braced for impact, fearing the worst. Instead he remained silent and I saw this strange look in his eyes that I'd never seen before.
He just divorced my mom and told us he is moving to Puerto Rico with his longtime partner Antonio Banderas and he's not coming back. Thank you We The Sus Music!
(βΜΏΔΉΜ―ββ¬β΄β¬β΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
The largest object in the solar system
twitchquotes:
Hey reynad, I'm working on a science project and I need to find the largest object in the solar system. What's the measurements of your forehead? 
twitch chat
Reynad
Can you guys stop typing 'misplay'?
twitchquotes:
Can you guys stop typing 'misplay'? We know Kripp is not the best player and he might be a bit slow in the head, but stop pointing out the obvious by typing 'misplay' over and over.
twitch chat
Kripp
Cute gamer girl
twitchquotes:
Thijs I am a 22 year old gamer girl in search of a gamer man. I have been watching your stream for years and really like your deck. If you want to give a cute gamer girl like me a chance whisper me. 
HAHA Just kidding, it's still Tanner you fucking gullible idiot lmfao. Anyway, the gym awaits, see ya man good talk.
HAHA Just kidding, it's still Tanner you fucking gullible idiot lmfao. Anyway, the gym awaits, see ya man good talk.
twitch chat
Thijs
Hearthstone
Tanner from High School
Equal rights equal fights
I (15M) was walking from school to home today and a girl (15F) kicked my leg.
So yeah I was walking to home today and that bitchass girl kicked my leg. It didn't hurt too much it was more like a fly landing on me as my super muscly body protected me. But anyway, as a person that believes in gender equality I punched her a lot harder with my super muscly manly man fists and knocked her out, kidnapped her to my school's chemistry lab at night, then with my super smart brain I composed HCl (hydrochloric acid for those uneducated inferior peeps) with my super chemistry knowledge. I then dipped her in my glorious acid just like any gender equality believing sigma male would. Equal rights equal fights my dear superior reddit using sigma male friends.
Y U NO
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