So my dad is a raging homophobe. When I was 7 yrs old he nearly beat me to death for sleeping in the same bed as my friend in Minecraft. He overheard me listening to this song and burst into my room. I braced for impact, fearing the worst. Instead he remained silent and I saw this strange look in his eyes that I'd never seen before.
He just divorced my mom and told us he is moving to Puerto Rico with his longtime partner Antonio Banderas and he's not coming back. Thank you We The Sus Music!
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More Copypastas
Your stream has provided a constant influx of salt
twitchquotes:
Mr. Kripp, I would like to personally thank you for saving my life. I lead a stressful life and have dangerously high blood sugar. Your stream has provided a constant influx of salt which has balanced my blood sugar levels, and according to the doctor I'm gonna do just fine now. Please remember that every time you get flamestriked, your saltiness cures another middle-aged man like myself of diabetes.
twitch chat
Kripp
If you shit in the sink at exactly 4:20 am and yell โamogusโ 69 times
If you shit in the sink at exactly 4:20 am and yell โamogusโ 69 times,a shadowy figured called mom will come to beat you up and you will wake up in a place called the orphanage
Among Us / Amogus
Classic
Simping for Pokimane is a lifestyle
twitchquotes:
Simping for Pokimane isn't just a moment, itโs a lifestyle ๐ซ a reason to breathe ๐คฒ an escape from this evil world filled with thieves ๐ Itโs art ๐ผ the first gift you open on Xmas ๐ a hug from a loved one ๐ค everything youโve ever wanted love ๐ everything you need ๐๐ฅบ
twitch chat
Pokimane
Simps
Competitive Super Smash Bros Melee has reached its zenith
twitchquotes:
The year is 20XX. Competitive Super Smash Bros Melee has reached its zenith. No longer are matches decided through complex inputs and tactics. It began when some questioned the idea of matchups against characters. The community realized that gameplay no longer mattered, and only the character. Tournaments became complex games of rock-paper-scissors, and eventually another epiphany was had. Why bother with deciding afterwards and wasting time when the match could be decided before it began? Thus, referees decided who won and who lost automatically using a combination of facial recognition AI, mandatory reflex tests, and standardized quizzes and tests on military tactics and stratagem. With time, tests weren't even needed. Judges became so acute at deciding who won and who lost that tournaments happened in seconds, and results uploaded in less. The final destination was reached. Babies were bred and engineered to become the most desirable "players", if one could call it that. Soon, humanity ceased to think, and became mindless slaves to the autonomous ones and zeroes that decided their worth, ironically becoming the machines they once played with.
twitch chat
Super Smash Bros
Spam this cheese to help Philly please
twitchquotes:
SPAM THIS CHEESE TO HELP PHILLY PLEASE
SPAM THIS CHEESE TO HELP PHILLY PLEASE
twitch chat
OverwatchLeague