[Copypasta] We The Sus Music changed my dad

So my dad is a raging homophobe. When I was 7 yrs old he nearly beat me to death for sleeping in the same bed as my friend in Minecraft. He overheard me listening to this song and burst into my room. I braced for impact, fearing the worst. Instead he remained silent and I saw this strange look in his eyes that I'd never seen before. He just divorced my mom and told us he is moving to Puerto Rico with his longtime partner Antonio Banderas and he's not coming back. Thank you We The Sus Music!
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Chinese gibberish copypasta

twitchquotes: ่‡ฃไบฎ่จ€๏ผšๅ…ˆๅธๅ‰ตๆฅญๆœชๅŠ๏ผŒ่€Œไธญ้“ๅดฉๆฎ‚ใ€‚ไปŠๅคฉไธ‹ไธ‰ๅˆ†๏ผŒ็›Šๅทž็–ฒๅผŠ๏ผŒๆญค่ช ๅฑๆ€ฅๅญ˜ไบกไน‹็ง‹ไนŸใ€‚็„ถไพ่ก›ไน‹่‡ฃ๏ผŒไธๆ‡ˆๆ–ผๅ…ง๏ผ›ๅฟ ๅฟ—ไน‹ๅฃซ๏ผŒๅฟ˜่บซๆ–ผๅค–่€…๏ผŒ่“‹่ฟฝๅ…ˆๅธไน‹ๆฎŠ้‡๏ผŒๆฌฒๅ ฑไน‹ๆ–ผ้™›ไธ‹ไนŸใ€‚่ช ๅฎœ้–‹ๅผต่–่ฝ๏ผŒไปฅๅ…‰ๅ…ˆๅธ้บๅพท๏ผŒๆขๅผ˜ๅฟ—ๅฃซไน‹ๆฐฃ๏ผ›ไธๅฎœๅฆ„่‡ช่ฒ่–„๏ผŒๅผ•ๅ–ปๅคฑ็พฉ๏ผŒไปฅๅกžๅฟ ่ซซไน‹่ทฏไนŸใ€‚ๅฎฎไธญๅบœไธญ๏ผŒไฟฑ็‚บ้ซ”๏ผŒ้™Ÿ็ฝฐ่‡งๅฆ๏ผŒไธๅฎœ็•ฐๅŒใ€‚่‹ฅๆœ‰ไฝœๅงฆ็Šฏ็ง‘๏ผŒๅŠ็‚บๅฟ ๅ–„่€…๏ผŒๅฎœไป˜ๆœ‰ๅธ๏ผŒ่ซ–ๅ…ถๅˆ‘่ณž๏ผŒไปฅๆ˜ญ้™›ไธ‹ๅนณๆ˜Žไน‹ๆฒป๏ผŒไธๅฎœ็ฏ‡็ง๏ผŒไฝฟๅ…งๅค–็•ฐๆณ•ไนŸใ€‚ไพไธญใ€ไพ้ƒŽ้ƒญๆ”ธไน‹ใ€่ฒป่ค˜ใ€่‘ฃๅ…็ญ‰๏ผŒๆญค็š†่‰ฏๅฏฆ๏ผŒๅฟ—ๆ…ฎๅฟ ็ด”๏ผŒๆ˜ฏไปฅๅ…ˆๅธ็ฐกๆ‹”ไปฅ้บ้™›ไธ‹ใ€‚ๆ„šไปฅ็‚บๅฎฎไธญไน‹ไบ‹๏ผŒไบ‹็„กๅคงๅ‰ๅ‡บๅธซ่กจ
twitch chat
June 2014
EtrnlWait

Professional headmeat physician

twitchquotes: ce: Hello Tyler, this is Dhanraj Ameer, the professional headmeat physician, thank you for contacting me last week. My team and I have been looking at x-rays of your skull and we are interested in a procedure that involves taking the head meat from the sides of your head and using it to fill in the dent in the middle. Due to the severity of your head meat slabs this procedure only has a 10% likelihood of success due to the extreme invasiveness the slab removal will take. Let me know
twitch chat
July 2019
Tyler1

I get a thousand hugs from 10,000 lightning bugs

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿค” In the song "Fireflies" by Owl City he states "I get a thousand hugs from 10,000 lightning bugs." Are we to assume each bug hugs him a thousand times? Or is he only getting hugged by 1/10th of the bugs? Or is each bug is giving him 1/10th of a hug? ๐Ÿค”
twitch chat
June 2017

Elephant

โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“(O)โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆ
November 2014

I beat Kripp once, but my deck was insane

twitchquotes: I beat Kripp once, but my deck was insane, I topdecked the exact cards I needed for lethal, actually Kripp played it perfectly, there was nothing he could do, it was such a joke.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing