So my dad is a raging homophobe. When I was 7 yrs old he nearly beat me to death for sleeping in the same bed as my friend in Minecraft. He overheard me listening to this song and burst into my room. I braced for impact, fearing the worst. Instead he remained silent and I saw this strange look in his eyes that I'd never seen before.
He just divorced my mom and told us he is moving to Puerto Rico with his longtime partner Antonio Banderas and he's not coming back. Thank you We The Sus Music!
I used to be a real ad
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Krippler and the Donger people
twitchquotes:
Krippler's aim is to establish a New Order of absolute Nazi German hegemony in the Twitch Metaverse. To this end, his foreign and domestic policies had the aim of seizing Lebensraum ("living space") for the Donger people. Under Krippler's rule, in 1941 German forces and their European allies occupied most of Europe and North Africa.
twitch chat
Kripp
How can this guy call himself a professional streamer
twitchquotes:
π‘ How can this guy call himself a professional streamer when he CLEARLY has no clue about what he's doing. You're supposed to kill the application process tree not alt+f4 like a fucking monkey 
Seriously I'm done watching this guy and if I see any one of your fuckers copypaste this I'll delete my account π‘
Seriously I'm done watching this guy and if I see any one of your fuckers copypaste this I'll delete my account π‘
twitch chat
Hunter's mark face
twitchquotes:
Wtf are you doing, just hunter's mark face and kill him?!
twitch chat
Reynad
Apparently I "ruined" Thanksgiving dinner
twitchquotes:
Apparently I "ruined" Thanksgiving dinner by bringing my girlfriend Asuka. My mum didn't care that she was a giat robot pilot, tasked with protecting the world after the Second Impact. She insisted that Asuka isn't real and now we're banned from the local country club. Anyways, my mum says if I don't bring a "real" girl to our Christmas dinner I'm going to get kicked out of the house!!! Asuka sets the bar pretty high but if you think you can compete with her please message me 
twitch chat
Weebs
bad scp writers be like
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Description: βββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββsubjectβs genitalsβββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ