So my dad is a raging homophobe. When I was 7 yrs old he nearly beat me to death for sleeping in the same bed as my friend in Minecraft. He overheard me listening to this song and burst into my room. I braced for impact, fearing the worst. Instead he remained silent and I saw this strange look in his eyes that I'd never seen before.
He just divorced my mom and told us he is moving to Puerto Rico with his longtime partner Antonio Banderas and he's not coming back. Thank you We The Sus Music!
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Alright, rogue I guess
twitchquotes:
"Alright, rogue, I guess" "Haven't picked mage in a while, let's go mage "Paladin isn't that good, but alright"
"Alright, rogue, I guess" "Haven't picked mage in a while, let's go mage "Paladin isn't that good, but alright"
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Kripp
Hearthstone
It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked...
It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out
Classic
Eggplants appear after every word
twitchquotes:
Guys ๐ I ๐ Was ๐ On ๐ Pornhub ๐ And ๐ I ๐ Clicked ๐ On ๐ A ๐ Link ๐ That ๐ Said ๐ Local ๐ Milfs ๐ In ๐ My ๐ Area ๐ And ๐ Now ๐ Eggplants ๐ Appear ๐ After ๐ Every ๐ Word ๐ . ๐ What ๐ Do ๐ I ๐ Do ๐? ๐
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Emoji Pasta
โ ๏ธ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.
Learn the ways of the Russians
twitchquotes:
Learn the ways of the Russians, speak their language for a while, they might think you are one of them. Then maybe join their team, success might come and fighting for last drink of vodka will be your next objective. Do not give up, you have Dota tournament ahead of you. Then win TI1, but don't stop now, you have to go deeper. Spend 3 more years trying to solve the puzzle of russki power of motherland and then leave the team with full knowledge of understanding of strenght of ROSSIA and PROMISE URSELF THET YU WILL NEVER LOS TO RUS AND KNOW OF COLLAPSING STRONG EMPIRE OF RUSKILAND.
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Forsen