So my dad is a raging homophobe. When I was 7 yrs old he nearly beat me to death for sleeping in the same bed as my friend in Minecraft. He overheard me listening to this song and burst into my room. I braced for impact, fearing the worst. Instead he remained silent and I saw this strange look in his eyes that I'd never seen before.
He just divorced my mom and told us he is moving to Puerto Rico with his longtime partner Antonio Banderas and he's not coming back. Thank you We The Sus Music!
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Alright, rogue I guess
twitchquotes:
"Alright, rogue, I guess" "Haven't picked mage in a while, let's go mage "Paladin isn't that good, but alright"
"Alright, rogue, I guess" "Haven't picked mage in a while, let's go mage "Paladin isn't that good, but alright"
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
Atheists … what if you die and you find out it is all real?
I’m not trying to be an asshole. Think about this before answering.
Atheists … what if you die and you find out it is all real? God, the Bible, Jesus, death on a cross, resurrection … all of it. What then?
Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub
Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
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Fortnite Default Dance
Fortnite
At least you lasted longer than NA at worlds
twitchquotes:
Eeeyoo I had the most amazing sex with this girl last night. It was so good I came in 15 seconds and as I turned to look at her out of embarrassment, she put her lips to my ear and whispered "at least you lasted longer than NA at worlds" 
twitch chat