So my dad is a raging homophobe. When I was 7 yrs old he nearly beat me to death for sleeping in the same bed as my friend in Minecraft. He overheard me listening to this song and burst into my room. I braced for impact, fearing the worst. Instead he remained silent and I saw this strange look in his eyes that I'd never seen before.
He just divorced my mom and told us he is moving to Puerto Rico with his longtime partner Antonio Banderas and he's not coming back. Thank you We The Sus Music!
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
if you go to walmart at 3 AM naked, and scream "AMONG US SUS"
if you go to walmart at 3 AM naked, and scream "AMONG US SUS" 69 times, these mysterious figures known as "The Police" will knock you out, and you'll end up in a cell with a man nicknamed "BIG JOHN".
pretty scary, right?
Among Us / Amogus
GREAT AD OF THE SKY PLEASE HEAR MY CRY
twitchquotes:
GREAT AD OF THE SKY PLEASE HEAR MY CRY. TRANSFORM THYSELF FROM AD OF LIGHT AND BRING ME VICTORY IN THIS FIGHT. ENVELOP THE DESERT WITH YOUR GLOW AND CAST YOUR AD UPON MY FOE. UNLOCK YOUR ADS FROM DEEP WITHIN SO THAT TOGETHER WE MAY WIN!!
twitch chat
TwitchPresents
YuGiOh Ad Marathon
Olombo Bongo from Somalia
twitchquotes:
hi kripp i em olombo bongo frm Somalia. erryday i watch u strem u are favourit stremmer i sell kidney for a laptop 2 i can watch u strem. i work in bannana facotry an 1 day i cum to america LAND OF FREEDDOM so i be lyke u and strem 4 monies insted of pick banana, WOO USAsss al pacino, malcolm in middle, stevo-o, mike 'the situation' sorrentino.
twitch chat
Kripp
I'm not gay but I want to live with Kanye West
I want to live in a log cabin in the woods with Kanye. We won't ever have sex, but there will be a simmering erotic undercurrent as I stand in the kitchen window watching him tighten his ass as he chops wood, shirtless, sweat pouring off his body. I'll run upstairs and masturbate, the entire time forcing myself to think of women while my thoughts drift back to Kanye. I won't be able to climax and I'll eventually go back downstairs, angry. Sometimes we will look across the table and catch each other's eyes, and in that second, anything is possible, but we both deny ourselves and go back to what we were doing. One day one of us will die, and the other will bury him outside the log cabin. Then they'll go inside, pen a brief missive to their departed friend, and commit suicide, never able to deal with life without their one true platonic love.
Kanye West
Donger Song
twitchquotes:
I like to raise my Donger I do it all the time ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ and every time its lowered┌༼ຈل͜ຈ༽┐ I cry and start to whine ┌༼@ل͜@༽┐But never need to worry ༼ ºل͟º༽ my Donger's staying strong ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉA Donger saved is a Donger earned so sing the Donger song! ᕦ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕤ
twitch chat
Kripp