[Copypasta] Luigi's donger

twitchquotes: In 2018 Nintendo released official marketing art that featured Luigi in Mario Tennis, fans were able to figure out the length of Luigi’s penis by measuring the tennis racket compared to luigi’s bulge in the image. Since Tennis rackets are 28 inches long in real life, by measuring the pixels we were able to mathematically deduce that Luigi’s penis is 3.7 inches flacid.
twitch chat
December 2020
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Ahoy matey, I bring ye much love

twitchquotes: (◕‿X✿) Ahoy matey, I bring ye much love. Y'arr be beautiful inside and out, and ye best know that ye matter so much and everythin' ya do plunders my booty in an amazin' way YARHARHAR. (◕‿X✿)
twitch chat
May 2019

Reddit and Twitter changed their logos

twitchquotes: My entire life I’ve been a hardcore anti-minority white man who despised anyone who didn’t look like me, but today I saw reddit and twitter changed their logos to the color black, and now I’m sitting here in shock just thinking about my choices in life. Wow.
twitch chat
June 2020

Tesla is undervalued

Currently Tesla share price is only valued for the next 200 years but studies have shown that Earth will survive another 1 billions years before the Sun dies out. Thus You don't have to be genius to figure out Tesla is heavily undervalued and it's current value factors in only the very short time. I am kinda retarded to be able to do the math but trust me it's heavy money. Factor in the when Zuckenberg calls in his species and that planet will be another market for Tesla that's more clients for Tesla and it will sky rocket. Get in before it's late
January 2021

WallStreetBets

TIFU: By slapping my wife’s ass

TIFU: By slapping my wife’s ass Last night my wife and I were getting hot and heavy, and began having sex. During sex, I decided to put in a little spanking. This is where things got weird. As I slapped her ass in the heat of the moment, she bursts out with “yes daddy, spank me harder!” (To preface I knew she had some serious daddy issues)This initially was a turn on, but after a few seconds all I could think of was disciplining my daughter and my face went sour. I stopped immediately and felt awkward. She responded with “what’s wrong daddy, did you not punish me enough?” I walked out of the room and told her I needed a minute. Now I don’t think I can ever have sex again. TL;DR slapped my wife’s ass, called me daddy, now I can only think about disciplining my daughter and don’t know if I can ever have sex again
July 2022

I am a concerned mother with a 13 year old child (among us)

I am a concerned mother with a 13 year old child and I am here to seek help regarding my son. Last week when we went to the supermarket, my son pointed to a red trash can and started jumping around screaming “THAT’S AMONG US! THAT TRASH CAN IS SUS! RED IS THE IMPOSTOR!” As soon as he did that, the manager told us to leave. I told him that my son is just excited about something, and apologised. But the manager still told us to leave so I picked up the red trash can that my son was going crazy over and threw it on the managers head. Then my son shouted “DEAD BODY REPORTED.” Can someone please tell me what on earth is wrong with him?
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

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