[Copypasta] Luigi's donger

twitchquotes: In 2018 Nintendo released official marketing art that featured Luigi in Mario Tennis, fans were able to figure out the length of Luigi’s penis by measuring the tennis racket compared to luigi’s bulge in the image. Since Tennis rackets are 28 inches long in real life, by measuring the pixels we were able to mathematically deduce that Luigi’s penis is 3.7 inches flacid.
twitch chat
December 2020
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More Copypastas

Allu is a tactical genius

twitchquotes: Allu is a tactical genius. He is best known for his signature tactic ”going B, but then benching AleksiB”. He also has a second little known tactic of ”going A, but then going home without any wins”. What an absolute legend. Top 3 IGL 4 sure.
twitch chat
October 2020

CSGO

Valor To Me!

twitchquotes: (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง ᴠᴀʟᴏʀ, ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง <;º ༽ sǫᴜᴀᴀᴋ <;º ༽
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie

Infinite Cum Part 2

Your eyes slowly open. Crusty from months of wear from stray globs of semen and cosmic dust. You are in a room and you can no longer see your member, or rather, what was left of it. There are tubes leading away from your pelvis, pumping and pulsating. There is a glass window across from you and a person dressed in a white jacket. A woman. She looks up from her clipboard to see you are awake. At first she is uninterested, but then her eyes slam open and a beaming smile crosses her face. Her eyes filled with curiosity. “You’re awake!” She cries over the loudspeakers that you only just now notice embedded into the top corners of the room. “Where am I?” You ask, filled with fear and excitement. You thought you would never see a human again and you would be destined to suffer endlessly across the cosmos. “You are on Saturn. You crashed into it and due to it’s extreme mass you were able to stop. We picked you up because you may be the key to saving humanity for all eternity.” “How?” You ask as a smile begins to creep across your face, imagining that you could be an icon for humanity. “You have been addressed as the Cosmic Unknown Mass Semen Generator, or CUMS-G for short. The fault in reality that caused your affliction can be used for the good of humanity. By using the mass you produce we will never have to worry about energy again, as by converting your biomass into energy we have unlimited power for the rest of time. When the stars die and the cosmos sink into nothing, humanity will be able to continue thanks to you. The anomaly that created you is easily one of the greatest discoveries humanity has ever had, on par with the discovery of fire.” “Will I not die?” “You can’t die. You are immortal. You don’t even have a body and yet you continue to exist” … Hours later, she leaves to tell her superiors. They do not greet you. They exchange high-fives and party but they do not speak to you. Months pass. The cum accelerates. Then years. The cum accelerates. Then decades. The cum accelerates. Then centuries. The cum accelerates. Then eons. The cum accelerates. No one talks to you. You don’t even know if humanity is alive anymore or if they have left you to exist for the rest of eternity. The tubes around you have gotten far thicker and more high tech as the ferocity of your semen expulsion increased. Eventually the walls around you cave in. Only then do you see the truth. Their plan was flawed.
April 2022

Infinite Cum

I was BANNED from my local super smash bros melee scene

twitchquotes: I was BANNED from my local super smash bros melee scene. They use the local community college to host this and TOLD ME BY EMAIL IF I CAME THERE THEY WOULD NOT ALLOW ME IN. This was out of nowhere so I immediately called the TO, who told me why. He said it was because I was frequently toxic and angry. He said that I yell at players and make them uncomfortable and scared, and that a girl quit because of me. While I DO sometimes get frustrated and vocalize it, so do many other people I am simply being discriminated against my voice is naturally deeper than most. also the truth is a girl never quit that is a complete lie, she was just butthurt that she was worst than everyone there. I'm so fucking irate. I've been a member of this community FOR YEARS and just now I'm a nuisance? I am entitled to a certain level of RESPECT for being a veteran player. I'm looking into finding a lawyer who get me unbanned. There MUST be a law that prevents people from arbitrarily banning others from certain locations without written documents proving it (the TO just SAID I was banned he did not provide any evidence.) The TO isn't rich or anything so I don't think I would have to ask a lot from him, I think he'd break under just pressure of lawsuit.
twitch chat
January 2019

Super Smash Bros

Monkey D. Luffy

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠤⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡲⢋⠝⠋⣛⣳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠓⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⠠⣴⠗⢀⠥⠂⢁⠤⠤⠤⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣛⠛⠉⠗⠒⠲⢤⣀⠀ ⠰⠃⠐⠀⠋⡠⠀⠮⠤⠤⠤⠤⡤⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣽⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡆ ⠀⠜⠀⠀⠈⠀⢠⣤⣔⣒⡒⠒⠂⠁⠀⡀⢀⣀⣤⣶⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡼⠀ ⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⢄⡴⠋⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⡊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡠⠐⠉⢸⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⡻⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠁⠀⠀⣿⢹⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣙⠋⠴⠛⣿⢛⡿⠬⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠘⠹⣿⣿⠛⠛⠛⢿⡇⠀⠉⠀⠘⠉⢰⣯⡊⠙⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠱⡄⠀⠀⠘⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠛⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⢲⣄⠀⠒⠂⠀⣀⢴⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣈⠀⢻⣿⣶⣴⣾⡟⢸⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⡎⠀⢀⣠⡤⠂⢠⠈⢿⣿⡿⣿⠃⠀⠙⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠙⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠉⠉⢇⠀⠈⡇⠘⣏⠀⡿⡰⠀⠀⢀⠛⠛⠻⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠉⠉⠉⠗⠒⢿⡀⠸⡈⣠⠧⠞⠉⡏⠉⠉⠉⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2022

One Piece

Text-to-Speech Playing