[Copypasta] Luigi's donger

twitchquotes: In 2018 Nintendo released official marketing art that featured Luigi in Mario Tennis, fans were able to figure out the length of Luigi’s penis by measuring the tennis racket compared to luigi’s bulge in the image. Since Tennis rackets are 28 inches long in real life, by measuring the pixels we were able to mathematically deduce that Luigi’s penis is 3.7 inches flacid.
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December 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Dude I own this NFT

Dude I own this NFT. Do you really think you can get away with theft when you're showing what you stole directly to my face. My lawyers will make an easy job of this case. Prepare to say goodbye to your luscious life and start preparing for the streets. I will ruin you.
November 2021

NFTs

Cryptocurrency

Please help, when I sneeze, it sounds like I'm saying the n-word

I'm not sure what to do. For my early life, it wasn't a huge deal. I lived in a mostly white family who didn't really care, and I stayed home from school when I was sick. But now that I'm in college, I'm terrified of what it could mean. Doctors won't help me. Every time I've asked, they think I'm making it up and doing it on purpose, and now that I've moved, my doctor is this 6ft tall african-american man. I haven't been to a check-up in over a year. It's causing trouble with school too. The first instance was in chemistry. The professor told me to pass out some bunsen burners from the cabinet to the rest of the students. I got up and opened the cabinet, but it was super dusty inside, and before I could help myself, a huge sneeze forced itself out of my body. "N*GGA!" sounded across the classroom, and I just froze. My cheeks heated up as everyone just stared at me. I quickly said that I needed to go get a tissue and ran from the classroom. I was forced to have a meeting with my professor later, where she was adamant that she wouldn't have that kind of language in her classroom. I tried to explain that it was an accident and I didn't even have a reason to say the n-word while sneezing and gathering bunsen burners, but she was already mad so I think she zeroed in on my word choice and thought that I was inferring that other times I DID have a reason to say it. I didn't get kicked out but nobody wanted to partner with me for the rest of the semester, and I feel like the professor was a bit harsher on test questions. The most recent event happened only yesterday, and I'm terrified of what it could mean. I was in line at the Chick-fil-A in the cafeteria, feeling like shit. I'd been sick for a day or two, and normally I don't go out because of my unique problem, but I was starving and just needed to grab a quick bite. Right as I got up to the counter, I felt a sneeze coming on, and knew I was screwed. Here's the thing. When I'm sick, the issue is 10x worse. The phlegm or something in my throat makes the n-word sound come out with a lower, R-sound at the end instead of the gasp that normally makes the A. So I'm standing there, about to order my 8pc nugget, when I spasm and unleash a full forced "N****R!" across the entire cafeteria. Everybody heard it. Literally everybody. The girl at the counter, who unfortunately was black, just looked so hurt and angry at the same time, not to mention I think I may have sneezed a little on her. I turned and bolted from the cafeteria. I ran straight back to my dorm; I saw a group of guys trying to follow me, but they couldn't get in to my specific dorm building. I recognized a few of them from my chemistry class. I've been in my dorm ever since. I'm terrified of leaving. I'm positive that if they see me again, they'll kick the shit out of me. So that's my problem. I'm not sure how to prove my innocence and I don't think I'll survive another semester at this rate.
January 2021

Among Us in Real Life Full Lyrics

Among Us in real life (sus, sus) Among Us in real life (sus, sus) Playing Among Us in real life, spaceship with my crew Gonna split up, spread out 'cause we all got tasks to do Gotta find the imposter as they try to sabotage Who can we trust in this Among Us entourage? Heard a sound, turned around, looking up, looking down Then I find a dead body Gotta blow the horn, emergency discussion, who should we believe? Can't decide, so, now we leave, not sure what I'm about to see Will it be a dead body? Still have a task I must complete Who's the impostеr? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can wе trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? I'm a ghost, I'm my biggest fear, got killed by the imposter I was playing in the game, but now I'm just a watcher I'm paying attention using my 360 vision If it gets quiet, I listen Make sure there's nothing I'm missing Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? It wasn't me (or me) It definitely wasn't me No one can be trusted because someone is lying We still have tasks to do, so, let's split up so we can win Everyone is sus so let this last round begin There's an imposter among us Trying to take something from us We're still over here working While she's just ghosting above us Someone's under suspicion Sabotaging our mission Doing my task in the kitchen Until I stop, look, and listen Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? I'm the I-M-P-O-S-T-E-R, that's me While everyone's doing tasks, I'm going through vents on a killing spree Yeah, I'm sus in Among Us We can discuss whoever took your life But if you think you're running this game, oh-yeah That's me holding this knife I'm the imposter Looking sus, who can we trust? I'm the imposter Looking sus, who can we trust? I'm the imposter Looking sus, who can we trust? I'm the imposter
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Stroll in my local GameStop

stroll into my local GameStop looking to pick up a copy of Binding of Isaac grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register "Pardon me, milady...but could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..." she giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves her eyes widen as she reads the game's title "Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!" I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings out from behind "Hahaha look at what this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ is buying! That's not Call of Duty Advanced Memefare! What a piece of ♥♥♥♥!" I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing "Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady." "♥♥♥♥ you ♥♥♥♥♥♥!" I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them "As you wish..." I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react he bellows and charges forward I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back "...requiescat in pace..." As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers "So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...? "No thanks, milady, it's only single player. Besides..." I sheath my sword "You're not my type." skate away on my Heelys
January 2021

Classic

Worst Matchup

twitchquotes: Worst Matchup: Warrior ✓ Shaman ✓ Priest ✓ Rogue ✓ Druid ✓ Warlock ✓ Hunter ✓ Mage ✓ Paladin ✓
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April 2015
Kripp
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