[Copypasta] Luigi's donger

twitchquotes: In 2018 Nintendo released official marketing art that featured Luigi in Mario Tennis, fans were able to figure out the length of Luigi’s penis by measuring the tennis racket compared to luigi’s bulge in the image. Since Tennis rackets are 28 inches long in real life, by measuring the pixels we were able to mathematically deduce that Luigi’s penis is 3.7 inches flacid.
twitch chat
December 2020
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G2 Esports

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⢀⡀⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣷⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣶⣄⡀⣾⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢁⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠐⠶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣡⣿⣿⣿⣿⠶⠂⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣦⡬⢙⠛⠿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⠿⠛⡋⢥⣴⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣇⢸⣿⣷⣦⣍⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣩⣴⢾⣿⡇⣸⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⢸⣿⣟⠻⣿⣷⣦⡹⢏⣴⣾⣿⠏⢻⣿⡇⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⢀⡀⠹⣿⣷⣿⣿⠏⠵⣚⣾⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄ ⢴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡈⣿⣿⡸⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣖⣾⣿⣿⣿⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡦ ⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠸⣿⣧⡉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠋⣩⣥⠆⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁ ⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡙⣿⣷⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣾⣿⢋⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠻⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⡿⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⡿⠃⣿⣿⣷⣌⠻⡇⣿⠟⣩⣾⣿⣿⠘⢿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣷⣦⣴⣾⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢈⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
October 2020

League of Legends

R-Reynad-sama? Could you please roleplay?

twitchquotes: (»° _ °«) R-Reynad-sama? Could you please, um, roleplay, so when your hero takes damage... you um, p-pretend y-you take damage...! T-thank you... (>/////<)
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

Weebs

Classic

Hearthstone

cannabis addiction

twitchquotes: iam a 7 year old boy with a cannabis addiction, iam in rehab and i only have lol streams for entertainment, i wish to be the best mordekaiser in ze world, can u teach me bjerg? This is my story dont copy paste plz
twitch chat
July 2014
Bjergsen

Unhappy Gordon Ramsey

⠁⡼⠋⠀⣆⠀⠀⣰⣿⣫⣾⢿⣿⣿⠍⢠⠠⠀⠀⢀⠰⢾⣺⣻⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀ ⣥⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠠⢻⢬⠁⣠⣾⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠱⠏⡉⠙⣿⣿⡇⠀ ⢳⠀⢰⡖⠀⠀⠈⠀⣺⢰⣿⢻⣾⣶⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣷⣼⡆⢸⣿⣧⠀ ⠈⠀⠜⠈⣀⣔⣦⢨⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣅⣼⠛⢹⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢋⡿⡿⣯⣭⡟⣟⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⡘⠀ ⡀⠐⠀⠀⠀⣿⣯⡿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣉⢽⣿⡆⠀⠀ ⢳⠀⠄⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠙⠉⠉⠉⠛⣻⢛⣿⠛⠃⠀⠐⠛⠻⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⣾⠄⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠁⢀⠀⢀⡄⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⡠⣴⣎⣀⣠⣠⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⣧⠀⣴⣄⣽⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣖⣶⣬⣾⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⣿⣶⣈⡯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣹⢧⣿⣿⣿⣄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀ ⠹⣿⣿⣧⢌⢽⣻⢿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣠⡘⠿⠟⠛⠛⠟⠛⣧⡈⠻⣾⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠈⠉⣷⡿⣽⠶⡾⢿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣤⣿⣷⣤⣤⣄⣄⣠⣼⡿⢷⢀⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣿⣷⠌⣈⣏⣝⠽⡿⣷⣾⣏⣀⣉⣉⣀⣀⣀⣠⣠⣄⡸⣾⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣰⡿⣿⣧⡐⠄⠱⣿⣺⣽⢟⣿⣿⢿⣿⣍⠉⢀⣀⣐⣼⣯⡗⠟⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣰⣿⠀⣿⣿⣴⡀⠂⠘⢹⣭⡂⡚⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⢿⡿⠿⢁⣴⣿⣷⣶⣦⣤
ascii art
February 2022

Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass

I currently have a Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass. I am male if it matters. I've always been into putting things in my ass I don't know why, I'm not gay or anything I just like how it feels. Well I got drunk last night and decided to play with my ass and I hadn't gone shopping so I was out of carrots and cucumbers so I looked around and I saw my Buzz Lightyear action figure and thought "why not?" I've put action figures up there before because they feel different and it's funny. I grabbed Buzz, lubed him up and put him up against my asshole and started sliding him in. "To infinity and beyond!" I moaned as Buzz entered me. The only problem is that he has those wings that expand and so they popped open nearly splitting me in half and now he's stuck in there and I can't get him out. I know I need to go to the emergency room but honestly I'm scared and ashamed. I've managed to hide it from my wife so far but I think she's getting suspicious and can tell something is wrong. I'm going to try to sneak to the ER later and hopefully get it taken care of without her finding out.
July 2022

Confessions

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