[Copypasta] I'm sorry for the comments I made. Please unban me

twitchquotes: I'm sorry for the comments I made. They were far beyond the point of being considered appropriate. You are an incredible person & me having been under the influence of alcohol is no excuse for allowing my behaviour to continue for as long as it did. I swear by God's gracious gift of free will that if you ever allow me to be an active member of your community again I will never follow the precedent I'd set for myself leading up to your rational decision to ban me. i think you're really cool.
twitch chat
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Knight from the Order of Cut Pasta

twitchquotes: <:::::[]=༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ I am a Knight from the Order of Cut Pasta. I am sworn to slicerino all Copy Pasta, my enemy by oath. I shall do battle with this Demon, stand back and have no fear Moderino. To this most foul manifestation of Copy Pasta, retreat sour beast or taste my blade in combat. <:::::[]=༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
twitch chat
March 2015
imaqtpie

Your stream has provided a constant influx of salt

twitchquotes: Mr. Kripp, I would like to personally thank you for saving my life. I lead a stressful life and have dangerously high blood sugar. Your stream has provided a constant influx of salt which has balanced my blood sugar levels, and according to the doctor I'm gonna do just fine now. Please remember that every time you get flamestriked, your saltiness cures another middle-aged man like myself of diabetes.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

BOB “You’re doing GREAT out there!”

twitchquotes: BOB “You’re doing GREAT out there!” I exclaim with as much enthusiasm as I can this late in the day. The scraggly vegan is the only one left in the tavern, his attention focused entirely on the card game we put out to entertain children and toddlers. “I don’t wanna talk about it guys” cries the man, knocking his cup of vegan water over. I try to reassure him that everyone has bad luck now and then, but he just ignores me, as always. This tavern attracts some strange types indeed.
twitch chat
September 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today

I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my übernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
August 2021

veryFors

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠉⠉⠉⠄⠈⠉⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣴⣶⣤⣤⣀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⣛⣛⣛⡛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⡟⢱⣆⠄⠿⢿⣿⣿⣯⠬⣙⡇⠘⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣻⣿⣿⣭⣵⣦⠄⣠⣿⡈⢿⣀⣸⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⢨⠟⣷⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣿⣿⡿⢂⣀⢸⣦⠄⠄⣹⣿⠇⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣟⣉⣴⣿⠇⣠⣾⠂⠄⠈⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⣿⡿⣣⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⠿⠋⠉ ⠛⠋⠉⠁⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
July 2022
Forsen

Emote

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