[Copypasta] I'm sorry for the comments I made. Please unban me

twitchquotes: I'm sorry for the comments I made. They were far beyond the point of being considered appropriate. You are an incredible person & me having been under the influence of alcohol is no excuse for allowing my behaviour to continue for as long as it did. I swear by God's gracious gift of free will that if you ever allow me to be an active member of your community again I will never follow the precedent I'd set for myself leading up to your rational decision to ban me. i think you're really cool.
twitch chat
January 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Trolling My Dad's Office with Among Us (Office Series Part 6, Finale Part 3)

The other day, it was โ€œtake your kid to work dayโ€ at my dadโ€™s job. It was really epic and poggers because I got to skip school for it. As we were walking in, I couldnโ€™t help but notice that the company logo roughly resembled a crewmate from the popular game, Among Us. I asked my father, โ€œIs this the Among Us but real??โ€ My dad replied โ€œNo, son, this is the Pepsico corporate office.โ€ As we entered the building, my dad said โ€œSon, I have a lot of work to do today. You can hang out with the other kids or play on your phone, just please stay on this floor.โ€ He then entered the elevator and left. I turned to the other kids (who were all playing on their phones) and said โ€œDoes anyone wanna play some Among Us?โ€ However, no one else wanted to play. I was getting bored, so I decided to explore around a little bit. I walked into the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor.As the elevator door opened, I saw what appeared to be a long hallway. As I was walking down it, I found a door that was labeled โ€œExecutive Meeting Roomโ€. The door was unlocked, so I walked in and there were about 15 people in suits and ties around a table. They all looked up at me in confusion. One of them asked me โ€œHey buddy, are you lost?โ€ I noticed that his nametag read โ€œHugh Johnson, CFOโ€. โ€œDoes CFO stand for Chungus Fortnite Officer?โ€, I asked. โ€œNo, it does not. And where is your parent? Go back to the bottom floor young man!โ€ He was yelling at me. So I said โ€œYouโ€™re sus. I should eject you, Hugh Johnson. Do you have aโ€ฆ HUGE JOHNSON?! Thatโ€™s funny like Big Chungus, which is the Bugs Bunny from Looney Tunes but a big rabbit!โ€ I laughed. Everyone was looking up at me in shock when I said โ€œWanna play some Among Us guys?โ€ The CEO, a very sexy woman, ooga booga awooga, said โ€œYoung man, go back to the first floor now!โ€ But the sexy woman I just couldnโ€™t listen to as I admired her. โ€œNo, because you have big tits.โ€ Her jaw dropped, and she said, โ€œYoung man, this is an important meeting. Get the fuck out!โ€ She then used the intercom to call security. Coming to the realization that I was running out of time, I pulled down my pants to show everyone my Among Us underwear. I jumped up onto the meeting table and started twerking (to make sure everyone saw my among us underwear I got for Christmas) and said โ€œDo you like what you see?โ€ Everyone was yelling at me to get out as I was twerking. โ€œIโ€™m so hot~~~~โ€ I said. The yelling got louder. I ran out of the door and closed it, hoping that security wouldnโ€™t find me. I quickly ran into the elevator and went down.
March 2021

Trolling with Among Us

Among Us / Amogus

I saw Kripp at the tavern yesterday

twitchquotes: I saw Kripp at the tavern yesterday. I told him it would be cool to see him play arena again. He said, โ€œWhy, so you can snipe me at 8 wins?โ€ I was taken aback, and all I could say was โ€œHuh?โ€ but he kept cutting me off and going โ€œhuh? huh? huh?โ€ and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I thought he was going for a brofist, so I extended my hand only to have it slapped away in disgust. Later on I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen murlocs in his hands without paying.
twitch chat
May 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

I am a degree 6 zoosexual

twitchquotes: I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else. Women don't even do it for me. I am cursed to live my life in the misery that my most powerful emotional fantasies will never be even close to coming true. Life is like hell to me. I will never know true love.
twitch chat
January 2015

I sexually Identify as

๐Ÿ†HAPPY SPANKSGIVING๐Ÿ’ฆ

โ€ผ๏ธITS๐Ÿ— SPANKSGIVING ๐Ÿ‚ BITCHESโ€ผ๏ธOn this day ๐Ÿ—“ many years ago ๐Ÿ˜ฎ the SLUTTY ๐Ÿ‘  PILGRIMS ๐ŸŽฉ sailed โ›ต๏ธ across the ASSlantic ๐ŸŒŠ HOEcean in a quest ๐Ÿ‘€to find ๐Ÿ”Ž more ๐Ÿ˜ COCKS ๐Ÿ† to SUCK! ๐Ÿ‘… Together with the ๐Ÿ˜ˆ NAUGHTY ๐Ÿ˜ˆ NATIVES ๐Ÿ‘น, they gathered ๐Ÿ‘ซ around the dinner table ๐Ÿฝ and had ๐ŸŽ‰ our nationโ€™s very 1๏ธโƒฃst GANG BANG! ๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ฏ๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™‚๏ธ We honor ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿป their ORGY ๐Ÿ˜ฎ every year ๐Ÿ“† by giving THANKS ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ to all ๐Ÿฅฐ thatโ€™s important โค๏ธ to us: Family ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘งโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆ, Friends ๐Ÿ‘ฌ, Freedom ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ, and DICK! ๐Ÿ†๐ŸŒฝ๐Ÿ‘… So grab your BUNS, ๐ŸžโœŠ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘Œsqueeze those BREASTS, ๐Ÿ—๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿคฒ and shove a cornaCOPIOUS ๐ŸŒฝ๐ŸŒฝ amount of DICK ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ˜ฉ into that hungry ๐Ÿ˜ฎ hungry HOLE! ๐Ÿ•ณ๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ‘… Ladies ๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™€๏ธ, just like your ๐Ÿฆƒ THOTSgiving ๐Ÿฆƒ turkey, itโ€™s time โฐ to throw your legs ๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธin the air ๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธand prepare to get โžก๏ธ STUFFED ๐Ÿ™€! After dinner,๐Ÿดitโ€™s time ๐Ÿ˜ฎ for CUMPKIN PIE!! ๐Ÿฅง Show Daddy ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿฝโ€๐Ÿฆณ how ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ thankful ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ you are and LICKK ๐Ÿ˜› his WishBONE ๐Ÿฆด until he gets as HARD ๐Ÿ”as PlyMOUTH rock โ›ฐ and shoots ๐Ÿ’ฆ his HOMEADE GRAVY ๐Ÿฅฃ! ๐Ÿ‘… Midnight ๐ŸŒ™ starts ๐Ÿ˜ˆ BLACK โฌ›๏ธ FRIDAY ๐Ÿ› so send ๐Ÿ“ค this to ๐Ÿ”Ÿ THOTS ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธyou are thankful ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ for! If you get 0๏ธโƒฃ back, sail ๐Ÿ”™ to England ๐Ÿ–•๐Ÿป๐Ÿคฎ If you get 5๏ธโƒฃ back, youโ€™ll be getting your corn ๐ŸŒฝ CREAMED ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿฅฐ. Get ๐Ÿ”Ÿ back or more, and the ๐Ÿ™€ BIGGEST, ๐Ÿ™€ GIRTHIEST, BLACKโšซ๏ธ FRIDAY ๐Ÿ† COCK ๐Ÿ˜ฑ is CUMMING ๐Ÿ’ฆYOUR WAY AT MIDNIGHT ๐Ÿ™€๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™€๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™€๐Ÿ˜
August 2021

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Thanksgiving

NSFW

Holiday

Airport wifi password

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ“ž 4Head HELLO TSM? ๐Ÿ“ž 4Head TL HERE ๐Ÿ“ž 4Head AIRPORT WIFI PASSWORD IS "123456789" ๐Ÿ“ž 4Head waiting for fly quest
twitch chat
October 2020
Riot Games

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing