[Copypasta] I'm sorry for the comments I made. Please unban me

twitchquotes: I'm sorry for the comments I made. They were far beyond the point of being considered appropriate. You are an incredible person & me having been under the influence of alcohol is no excuse for allowing my behaviour to continue for as long as it did. I swear by God's gracious gift of free will that if you ever allow me to be an active member of your community again I will never follow the precedent I'd set for myself leading up to your rational decision to ban me. i think you're really cool.
twitch chat
January 2022
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Are we human or are we dancer?

twitchquotes: ΞΆΰΌΌβŠ™ ΝŸΩ„Νœ βŠ™ΰΌ½αΆ˜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴑᴇ Κœα΄œα΄α΄€Ι΄ ᴏʀ ᴀʀᴇ ᴑᴇ ᴅᴀɴᴄᴇʀ? ΞΆΰΌΌβŠ™ ΝŸΩ„Νœ βŠ™ΰΌ½αΆ˜
twitch chat
August 2014

Years of research

twitchquotes: Yeah, I’m a smash player. Along with that I know many things that most don’t know about these communities. Melee isn’t part of the actual smash community and I’m not saying that because I don’t like them. I’m saying that based off of years of research.
twitch chat
January 2019

Classic

Super Smash Bros

I'm going to kill that prosterino

twitchquotes: The Prostitute asks the Kripp, "Why don't you make a D3 video?" Kripp flies into a rage and hits her with an ornate salt shaker yelling, "I'm going to kill that prosterino!" When the cops finally caught him, after the 2 hour shootout, Kripp lies bleeding on the ground and mutters weakly to the sky..."I played that perfectly, nothing I coulda done cough what a joke.."
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

HITLER

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–„β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–“β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–Œβ–€β–’β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–Œβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–’β–€β–“β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
November 2014

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you. You are going to be the target of the greatest lawsuit the world has ever seen. You don't know why? It's completely obvious. It's so obvious, the most deplorable peasant could grasp the full magnitude of your wickedness and treachery with the greatest of ease. Your actions cry out for mercy, and I will be happy to deliver it. And if you're thinking this is a mistake, or merely a deception of mine, you're sadly mistaken, my friend. I have indisputable proof of your continued harassment and other offenses. Even without it, the jury would take one look at you and decide. The incomprehensible magnitude of your crimes brings with it unavoidable, infinite guilt, and whether you notice it or not, everyone else does. Are you interested in who will be serving as the offense attorney? I'll tell you. It's my father. Your defense? It doesn't matter, in fact, they might just not give you one even to spare just one individual from the trauma. My father is the greatest lawyer in the US, the world, and human history, including the future, which he knows due to the fact that he sued the future and they travelled back in time to tell him. He's served for hundreds of Supreme Court cases, and he's won every single one. You may have never thought about being court-marshaled, but now, that's a real threat. That is the power of my father, a culmination of flawless, supreme logic and a perfect knowledge of the law. You will lose this case, your money, and your life. Does that scare you, insignificant bug? Because it should. The entire history of the U.S. Judicial System has been leading up to this moment, where all of its fury is concentrated on ruining your life. My father won't even need to help. Your heinous crimes will be evident to all, so just give up, you crook. Give up before you're forced to.
September 2021
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