[Copypasta] I'm sorry for the comments I made. Please unban me

twitchquotes: I'm sorry for the comments I made. They were far beyond the point of being considered appropriate. You are an incredible person & me having been under the influence of alcohol is no excuse for allowing my behaviour to continue for as long as it did. I swear by God's gracious gift of free will that if you ever allow me to be an active member of your community again I will never follow the precedent I'd set for myself leading up to your rational decision to ban me. i think you're really cool.
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January 2022
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Pennywise

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣩⣭⡈⠙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⣩⣭⡈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⡿⠉⢻⡆⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢸⡿⠉⢻⡆⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡛⠴⠛⠁⣸⣿⣿ ⠄⣿⣿⣦⡛⠴⠛⠁⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡝⢿⣿⣿ ⢀⣾⣷⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⠿⠟⠋ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠙⠻⢿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣤⣀⣠⡤⠞⡋⡍⠄⠂⠄⠄ ⢿⣿⣿⡿⢻⣿⣦⠄⠘⣿⡁⣾⣹⡍⣁⠐⡆⡇⠁⡌⠄⠄⠄⣰ ⣿⣿⣿⢁⣾⣿⣿⣷⡘⢻⣧⣇⡟⢿⢿⠄⢷⢸⡧⠁⠄⠄⢰⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡹⢹⠸⢣⢈⠘⡇⠘⠈⠄⠁⠄⠄⣼⣏ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⣷⡀⠄⠸⢿⣿⡏⣾⠓⠃⠄⠄⢀⡟⠎ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⡤⣼⣷⡀⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⡞⣼⡴ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣻⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣭⣥⣤⣤⣶⣾⡟⠑⠋⠄
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August 2019

Call of Duty is the most realistic video game with the most advanced engine

Meanwhile in Call of Duty, true gamers laugh about Battlefield's primitive physics engine. Arma was an attempt by a failing Czech developer to make Call of Duty 'more realistic'. However due to the fact that Call of Duty was already as realistic as a video game can possibly be, they panicked. They made a shameless rip-off and slapped 'military simulator' on the front. True gamers are smart enough to know this, hence why Arma averages 67 on Metacritic, whereas Call of Duty averages 98-100. Call of Duty players laugh down at players of every other game, knowing they are Call of Duty rip-offs. Call of Duty is the most realistic video game with the most advanced engine. The world's leading video game scientists have confirmed this, so it isn't as much 'thinking' as it is 'knowing'. And Call of Duty can't possibly RIP those games off. Call of Duty was the first video game, so there wasn't anything for it to rip off.
August 2021

Call of Duty

Comedy God has entered the building: Attack Helicopter

I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter WEE WOO WEE WOO ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER! steps on stage Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!" Comedy God: "Heh..." adjusts fedora the building is filled with fear and anticipation God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense comedy god clears throat everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard world leaders look and wait with dread everything in the world stops nothing is happening comedy god smirks no one is prepared for what is going to happen comedy god musters all of this power he bellows out to the world "ATTACK" absolute suspense everyone is filled with overwhelming dread "HELICOPTER" all at once, absolute pandemonium commences all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once giant brawls start 43 wars are declared simultaneously a shockwave travels around the earth earth is driven into chaos humanity is regressed back to the stone age the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did people who aren't killed die from laughter literally the funniest joke in the world then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
August 2021

Classic

Dr DisRespect

⣿⠄⡇⢸⣟⠄⠁⢸⡽⠖⠛⠈⡉⣉⠉⠋⣁⢘⠉⢉⠛⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⣶⣷⣤⠄⣠⠖⠁⠄⠂⠁⠄⠄⠉⠄⠄⠎⠄⠠⠎⢐⠄⢑⣛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠓⠨⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠐⠅⠄⠉⠄⠗⠆⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡣⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣤⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⡙⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠔⠿⡿⠿⠒⠄⠠⢤⡀⡀⠄⠁⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⡖⠄⠁⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣽⠟⡖⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣠⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣧⠄⠂⠸⣈⡏⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡞⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡿⢻⡿⣻⣶⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡷⡂⠄⠄⠁⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠉⠉⠙⠛⢿⣿⡇⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⣶⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⡿⠁⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⢈⣿⡇⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣯⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣥⣬⣿⣿⣟⣿⠃⠄⠨⠺⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠱⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣬⣸⡝⠿⢿⣿⡿⣿⠻⠟⠻⢫⡁⠄⠄⠄⡐⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⡜⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠆⡐⡇⢿⣽⣻⣷⣦⣧⡀⡀⠄⠄⣴⣺⡇⠄⠁⠄⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠡⠱⠄⠄⠡⠄⢠⣷⠆⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣾⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠠⠁⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⢀⣲⣧⣷⣿⢂⣄⡉⠄⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣻⣯⠿⠟⠋⠉⢰⢦⠄⠊⢾⣷⣮⣽⣛
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November 2018
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Kappa Nazi

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November 2014
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