[Copypasta] I'm sorry for the comments I made. Please unban me

twitchquotes: I'm sorry for the comments I made. They were far beyond the point of being considered appropriate. You are an incredible person & me having been under the influence of alcohol is no excuse for allowing my behaviour to continue for as long as it did. I swear by God's gracious gift of free will that if you ever allow me to be an active member of your community again I will never follow the precedent I'd set for myself leading up to your rational decision to ban me. i think you're really cool.
twitch chat
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
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LS, aka "Low Standards"

twitchquotes: LS, aka "Low Standards", is a commentator for the LCK that is often ridiculed for his annoying personality and questionable game knowledge. He is specifically known for his Annie and Tahm β€œThomas” Kench two-trick-pony in low platinum solo-queue..
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July 2019
imls

League of Legends

This gentleman's deck is ABSURD!

twitchquotes: β˜‘ β€œThis gentleman's deck is ABSURD!” β˜‘ β€œMy deck cannot hope to prevail against a deck of that caliber” β˜‘ "He REQUIRED those two cards in subsequent order to succeed" β˜‘ β€œHe extracted from his deck the only cards capable of defeating me” β˜‘ "His cards defied logic" β˜‘ β€œThere was no manoeuvre at my disposal to secure victory” β˜‘ β€œI played impeccably”
twitch chat
October 2014

Hearthstone

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Daddy, where do dongers come from?

twitchquotes: (=β—•Ω„Νœβ—•=) Daddy, where do dongers come from? (=β—•Ω„Νœβ—•=) ヽ( ͝° ΝœΚ–Ν‘Β°)οΎ‰You see, little dong, when a donger and a dongerina dong together, the dong of the donger releases thousands of small dongs, which dongs the dongerina. 9 dongs later, the dongerina goes through a dong process, which finally raises a donger. ヽ( ͝° ΝœΚ–Ν‘Β°)οΎ‰
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Penis

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May 2021

NSFW

Summon The Hydra

Christmas for a wsb trader

As the tree blinks from white to red to green, you look at the void under the tree that previously held presents. Fewer this year than usual, but some. How did you get here? Boredom? In March, you felt trapped with your wife and infant. You needed something to pass the time. Something you could throw yourself into fully. β€œAre you coming to bed?” your wife yells down the stairs. It seemed harmless at first, but as the pandemic drew on, so did your investment. You’ll stop soon, though. β€œSoon!” you reply, and you hear her feet climb the steps. The lights start to blink chaotically. You cringe because you could only afford the junk strands at CVS. Suddenly they haltβ€”the alternation feature brokenβ€”on red. The red fills the room and covers your flesh. You look down at your hands, and they look like they’re bleeding. Like your calls. After a timeβ€”hours?β€”you realize you’re sitting in complete darkness. Your lights have expired, worthless.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

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