[Copypasta] George Orwell ruined my life

I’m a huge fan of 1984, especially the writing of the characters and dialogue in it. There was a girl I liked at school, and I tried to think of the smartest and most clever way to ask her out. I decided to be like Winston, telling her how much I used to hate her and how I wanted to rape her and smash her head into a wall. However, instead of being wooed like I expected, she got mad at me and told the Principal and said I was “sexually harassing” her. It’s clear she just wasn’t intelligent enough for me and was embarrassed. However, no one wanted to hear my reasoning. I’ve been given detention and my parents have been informed, and despite how I’m clearly in the right everyone seems to think I’m some weirdo now. This truly is a dystopian society we live in......
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Message Dongered

twitchquotes: <ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀᴇᴅ>
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Let's get one thing about me "straight" up-front

twitchquotes: Let's get one thing about me "straight" up-front. When it comes to sexuality, I'm about as hetero as they come. If a gay guy came on to me, I'd be like, "No way, bro. I'm a straight-up party boy who's into chicks." Yup, one gay dude wouldn't stand a chance. It would take at least four or five gay guys strapping me down to make it inside me. Sorry, fellas, that's just how straight I am. And even then I wouldn't make it easy. I'd be like, "Hey look! There goes George Michael!" And they'd all shriek "Where?!" at once, and I'd make a break for it, and they'd be like, "He's getting away! Chase him! I want his butt!" But I wouldn't just give them my butt. They'd have to take it. And once they got me strapped down, I'd stop fighting it because that would be giving them what they want. And I don't want them to enjoy it. If anyone's going to enjoy it, it's going to be me. So, I'd just relax into it and taunt them by telling them how ripped and sexy I find them and letting them know how much I'm enjoying myself. So, even though I'd have a bunch of ripped guys all taking turns on my butt, I'd still be enjoying it. But only because I forced myself to. It's not like I could fight these guys off. There are too many of them and they want me too much. What am I, Chuck Norris?" I'm not against homosexuality, though. I say to each his own. You're free to do whatever you want.
twitch chat
February 2020

KappaPride

If you shit in the sink at exactly 4:20 am and yell “amogus” 69 times

If you shit in the sink at exactly 4:20 am and yell “amogus” 69 times,a shadowy figured called mom will come to beat you up and you will wake up in a place called the orphanage
May 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

I just spotted an inconsistency

twitchquotes: Wait a minute. I just spotted an inconsistency. Could this be the work of the CIA? Look closely... below the stream. "10,000 viewers". What the heck? There's only 7 million people in the world, how could there possibly be 10 million viewers right now?
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Debunking the existence of females

"FEMALES" DON'T EXIST!!!!!!😱😱 A "FEMALE" is a fake person designed by the 🤮GOVERNMENT🤮 to enslave men!!!!😱😱😱😱😱 PROOF👉👉 "FEMALE" stands for; F ake E ngineered MALE !!!! 😱😱😱😱😱😱 So be 😰😰CAREFUL😰😰 around someone who claims to be a 😡😡"FEMALE"😡😡 because they might be a 😱SPY😱 sent by the 🤮GOVERNMENT 🤮 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 If you 😡DONT😡 farward this to 20 👨‍🦱people🧒 😨LITTLE TOMMY😱 will crawl out of your sink and eat Your eyeballs 👁️👁️ 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂
November 2021

Emoji Pasta

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