[Copypasta] I'm gay because...

You are gay because you like men I’m gay because I hate women We are not the same
April 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Cute gamer girl

twitchquotes: Thijs I am a 22 year old gamer girl in search of a gamer man. I have been watching your stream for years and really like your deck. If you want to give a cute gamer girl like me a chance whisper me. ;) HAHA Just kidding, it's still Tanner you fucking gullible idiot lmfao. Anyway, the gym awaits, see ya man good talk.
twitch chat
June 2019
Thijs

Hearthstone

Tanner from High School

Pimp had to discipline his whores

twitchquotes: ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つReynad, I am a pimp and recently I had to discipline my whores, how will this affect my canes༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

SPAM THIS CRUSTACEAN FOR HBOX ELIMINATION

twitchquotes: SPAM 🦀 THIS 🦀 CRUSTACEAN 🦀 FOR 🦀 HBOX 🦀 ELIMINATION 🦀
twitch chat
June 2019

Rhyme Chant

Super Smash Bros

Why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911

Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911. Here's why: Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead. Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it. Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12. And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal. Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger? Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova. Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound. I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series: "Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1." And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
August 2021

When you clean your vacuum cleaner

twitchquotes: When you clean your vacuum cleaner, aren't you the vacuum cleaner? :thinking:
twitch chat
July 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing