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Potato harvest is bad. Play Hearthstone in Amerikanski

twitchquotes: My name Dimitri Baryshnikov. I grow up in small farm to have make potatos. Father say "Dimitri, potato harvest is bad. Need you to have play porfessional game in Amerikanski for make money for head-scarf for babushka." I bring honor to komrade and babushka. Sorry for is not have English. Plz no cykapasta
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Imagine using a mid tier character

twitchquotes: Imagine using a mid tier character that needs tons of practice and dedication as you need to memorize every gimp and gimmick and you lose to some smash 4 downsmash down B up B shit
twitch chat
April 2019

Super Smash Bros

Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Should We Ban Jerma From Our Gay Wedding?

Should We Ban Jerma From Our Gay Wedding? Okay, so my boyfriend and I have been talking and we're looking to get married in the next year or so once it's safe. We've been talking seriously about this and we absolutely want to ensure that TOTAL PSYCHOPATH Jerma ABSOLUTELY does NOT come to our wedding. I was thinking maybe putting up “beware of sus guy” photos around the venue? Maybe watching his tier list videos and picking his least favorite snacks? How can we best do this, do you think? SHOULD we do this? Many thanks. (Oh, and P.S., if there’s a way we could invite Otto without his COMPLETELY UNHINGED RAT FILMOGRAPHER OWNER joining, that would be optimal :) )
December 2021
Jerma985

Do you have what it takes to be a Memester?

slow claps steps out of the shadows Heh... not bad, kid. Not bad at all. Your meme, I mean. It's not bad. A good first attempt. It's plenty dank... I can tell it's got some thought behind it... lots of quotable material... But memeing isn't all sunshine and rainbows, kid. You're skilled... that much I can tell. But do you have what it takes to be a Memester? To join those esteemed meme ranks? To call yourself a member of the Ruseman's Corps? Memeing takes talent, that much is true. But more than that it takes heart. The world-class Memesters - I mean the big guys, like Johnny Hammersticks and Billy Kuahana - they're out there day and night, burning the midnight meme-oil, working tirelessly to craft that next big meme. And you know what, kid? 99 times out of a hundred, that new meme fails. Someone dismisses it as bait, or says it's "tryhard," or ignores it as they copy/paste the latest shitpost copypasta dreamt up by those sorry excuses for cut-rate memers over at reddit. The Meme Game is rough, kid, and I don't just mean the one you just lost :). It's a rough business, and for every artisan meme you craft in your meme bakery, some cocksucker at 9gag has a picture of a duck or some shit that a million different Johnny No-Names will attach a milion different captions to. Chin up, kid. Don't get all mopey on me. You've got skill. You've got talent. You just need to show your drive. See you on the boards...
June 2017

IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING ***SQUID GAME REFERENCE***??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

😱😱😱 HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING SQUID GAME REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 SQUID GAME IS THE BEST FUCKING SHOW 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯 GI-HUN IS SO HOTTTTT 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵 COME PLAY DDJAKI WITH ME 🟥🟦🟥🟦🟥🟦🟥🟦🟥🟦🟥🟦 YOU CAN PAY WITH YOUR BODY 🖐😟👊😟🖐😟👊😟🖐😟👊😟 MUGUNGHWA KKOCI PIEOT SEUMNIDA 🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠🔫😠 What’s the game❓ What’s the game!❓ ❓ What’s the game!❓ ❓ What’s the game! What’s the game!❓ What’s the game! ❓ What’s the game!❓ ❓ What’s the game! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ What’s the game!What’s the game!What’s the game! What’s the game!What’s the game!What’s the game What’s the game!❓ What’s the game! ❓ What’s the game!What’s the game❓ ❓ What’s the game! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ What’s the game! ❓ What’s the game! ❓ What’s the game!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ What’s the game! ❓ ❓ What’s the game!❓ What’s the game! ❓ ❓ What’s the game!❓ ❓ What’s the game! ❓ What’s the game!What’s the game! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ What’s the game!❓ ❓ ❓ What’s the game!❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ What’s the game! ❓ What’s the game! What’s the game!What’s the game!What’s the game! What’s the game! ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ ❓ Oh no you failed the game!👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 Player 69420 eliminated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 r/squidgamememes r/unexpectedsquidgame r/expectedsquidgame perfectly balanced as all things should be r/unexpectedthanos r/expectedthanos for balance 🦑🎮🦑🎮🦑🎮🦑🎮 ⏺🔼⏹⏺🔼⏹⏺🔼⏹ 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂
October 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

I thought my parents were rap battling

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck mann fick fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck My parents were fighting and I thought they were rap battling so I came in and started beatboxing. Fuck fuck fuck why am I such an idiot fuck fuck fuck
February 2021

Vegan prison

twitchquotes: Attention Kripp: As a friendly vegan lawyer, you need to inform chat this is 100% sellout stream. If you want to stay away from vegan prison where meat is stuffed into all new inmates, inform chat now.
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

SCANNING FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE ASKED

🚨 SCANNING 💽 FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE ASKED 🚨 25% COMPLETE 🕒 50% COMPLETE 🕕 75% COMPLETE 🕘 ❗ERROR❗ THIS SCAN HAS FOUND ❌ NO ❌ PERSON(S) WITHIN A 1000 KM RADIUS WHO ASKED.
October 2021

Who Asked?

Joker fursona bodyguard

twitchquotes: Okay CLEARLY sakurai is playing favorites already wtf. Joker is literally bayo, cloud, olimar put together. He gave him a GUN for gods sake and you LMFAO you can’t even hurt his fursona bodyguard ohmygod
twitch chat
April 2019

Super Smash Bros

Riding the chat elevator

twitchquotes: ( ͡↑ ͜ʖ ͡↑) Riding the chat elevator all the way to Kripp ( ͡↑ ͜ʖ ͡↑)
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

VROOM VROOM Motor bike guy

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Motorbike Guy here. Just wanted to say: ♩♬~♪ VROOOOM ♩♬~♪ . ♩♬~♪ VROOOOM ♩♬~♪ . ♩♬~♪ VROOOOMU ♩♬~♪ . ♩♬~♪ VROOOOM ♩♬~♪ . ♩♬~♪ VROOOOM ♩♬~♪ . ♩♬~♪ VROOOOM
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

Nothing is complex for me

twitchquotes: Nothing is complex for me. I figured out flat earth when everyone on the planet was either bought into the lie or supporting it. I am a borderline genius as tested at 10 years old I am sure the number would be much higher now since I have increased my intelligence over the years. I am right you are wrong, it really is as simple as that. The DEVIL is in the details.
twitch chat
July 2017

I think you should rethink about your whole life

twitchquotes: Let me see if i understand this: people come to Twitch.tv to watch pro players or no life people stream and what do viewers do? they copy paste any brainless thing and feel good about it. I think you should rethink about your whole life.
twitch chat
January 2015
imaqtpie

Wealthy businessman from the land of Kantito

twitchquotes: Hello my name is Redito I am wealthy businessman from the land of Kantito. I come to watch the tipp stream becaus i want 2ba master. I must ba master of all pokemonarino or my boss "giovanito" will fired me from my businessman job and the helixito will be sad. plz no caparino fettuccine alfredini jigglypuforoni
twitch chat
July 2014
TwitchPlaysPokemon

Kripp reluctantly crawls into bed

twitchquotes: Kripp reluctantly crawls into bed where a breathless Hafu is waiting. She takes hold of his hand and whispers, "It's ok, I broke up with Jake." He squeezes her hand, let's go, squeezes again, "You're the best female arena player...," Kripp says dejectedly, "But I made a vow to Rania to never love another woman." Hafu runs her hands lovingly down his cheek, "You're not cheating," she whispers, "I'm really Amaz."
twitch chat
August 2018
Kripp
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

female streamer

twitchquotes: ok, so i need some advice, there is this female streamer ive been watching for like 3 years, i've donated around $10,000 and bought about a dozen items on her amazon wishlist, she always calls me cute and now im her mod! im thinking of asking her out soon what do you guys think?
twitch chat
November 2019

Things escalated from there

twitchquotes: I lost my virginity while listening to this song 5 years ago, it's a funny story really.. i had just finished my gym workout and i was in the locker room all sweaty, and in walks this leather dressed jabroni.. he seemed confused as to where he was.. i told him he might have gotten the wrong door, then he got very rude and said "fuck you", then i said "nah fuck you leatherman" and then things escalated from there
twitch chat
July 2018

Cradle both balls

twitch chat
June 2017

KappaPride

Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes

twitchquotes: Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Now THAT is what I call RUSSIAN MEDDLING!

twitchquotes: Had a colonoscopy today. My doctor was actually Russian. Now THAT is what I call RUSSIAN MEDDLING! They put me to sleep w/ same stuff Michael Jackon used. When I woke up, I MOON-walked right out of the hospital!
twitch chat
June 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing