[Copypasta] Things escalated from there

twitchquotes: I lost my virginity while listening to this song 5 years ago, it's a funny story really.. i had just finished my gym workout and i was in the locker room all sweaty, and in walks this leather dressed jabroni.. he seemed confused as to where he was.. i told him he might have gotten the wrong door, then he got very rude and said "fuck you", then i said "nah fuck you leatherman" and then things escalated from there
twitch chat
July 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Your sorry excuse for a job

twitchquotes: Kripp, how does it feel that by me disabling adblock I control whether or not your sorry excuse for a job continues existing
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Trent from high school

twitchquotes: Hey [insert streamer name here] this is Trent from highschool. Remember that girl you liked, Jessica? Yeah we're married now. Sucks for you wasting your life away playing stupid video games. I have a big job in a huge company, a beautiful wife, two kids, and a nice car. What do you have huh? A PC? HA! I own five of those. And your chat is stupid. Bye loser!
twitch chat
January 2019

Tanner from High School

m'lady tip fedora

⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢯⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿ ⡇⣉⡙⠻⠁⠄⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⠌⠻⢿⣷⣦⣤⣀⡀⠄⠉⠙⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⠋⠄⢰⡆⠉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠋⣭⡛⣿⣿ ⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣉⣙⡿⢿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣉⡙⢶⢹ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣭⣝⣛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠷⢶⣦⡤⢤⠘⣿⠄⡾ ⠄⠄⡔⢲⣤⣴⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣬⠍⠄⠄⢰⣾⣷⡆⠄⠄⣄⣤⣾⣧⡞⣱ ⠄⠘⣾⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⣸⣿⣍⡿⠿⠿⠇ ⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⡿⣿⣯⢻⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢱⣿⡏⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣉⣉⣉⡉⠉⠁⢿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⡁⣛⣿⣁⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⣿⣿⣿⠻⣿⣿⣶⣬⡙⠛⠛⠿⠟⠻⠿⠇⢀⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠉⠉⠉⠁⠄⠈⠹⢿⣿⣿⣙⠿⢿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠻⣿⣷⣤⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄m'lady
November 2021

Simps

A girl... AND a gamer?

A girl.... AND a gamer? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum *milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets* BABY WANTS TO FUCK *inhales from the gas tank* honka honka honka honka *masturabtes furiously* ohhhh my gooooodd~
March 2021

Classic

Lockwood Streets 112

twitchquotes: An MR-RL time. Me and Marc Rutzou. Me and fucking Marc Rutzou. That's fucking right. I skipped 1:13. I am a fucking legend. I've never SEEN a 1:13 and I never fucking will. 1:12 baby. Til the day I fucking die. YES!!! Bout time I get a fucking lucky break in this fucking game. MotherFUCKERS! And I CLUTCHED the goddamn grenade launcher. That's FUCKING right. Yeah it's this one. Right here IT'S THIS ONE! My insane pace. Right here! THIS is the 1:12. Right here. YES!!! It's fucking it. I'mma have to jus - I'mma have to find the actual whole vid of it and I'mma have to get it. DUUUUUUUDE WHAT A RUSH! WHAT A RUUUUUUSH! Watch this. Watch when I get the grenade launcher. (sorry) Look at that. See how fast my pace is? Right in the FUCKING HEAD!!! YEEEAAAHHH! Got a FUCKING 1:12 baby. That's RIGHT! You see that CLUTCHNESS? I AM FUCKING CCC-LUTCH! Look at this fucking line I take. I'm like, YEAH baby. Let's fucking DO this. I wait I wait I wait... Right when he starts firing to try to backboost me. The double. Body armor. Two quick ones. I already know I'm gettin' there on the perfect line. LOOK AT THE FUCKING PACE! FIFTY! FOURTY-NINE! MWH FOURTY-SEVEN BABY! That's FUCKING right. That's FUCKING IT! Fucking PUMPED watching this one again. I waited the cinema too 'cause i said oh my God it might be 1:12. And it FUCKING IS!!! IT FUCKING IS baby. YEAH!!! Look at me typing you guys. You guys didn't believe me. I am typing a storm. Dude I FUCKING just got Streets 1:12! It's not fucking comin' off. YES!!! I FUCKING DID IT THAT'S RIGHT! I SKIPPED 1:13 I'M A LEGEND. I AM A FUCKING LEGEND. I'm a FUCKING legend. (YES!) I am a fucking legend.
twitch chat
May 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing