[Copypasta] Now THAT is what I call RUSSIAN MEDDLING!

twitchquotes: Had a colonoscopy today. My doctor was actually Russian. Now THAT is what I call RUSSIAN MEDDLING! They put me to sleep w/ same stuff Michael Jackon used. When I woke up, I MOON-walked right out of the hospital!
twitch chat
June 2018
I used to be a real ad
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Tragedy of Angela β€œMercy” Ziegler the Healer

twitchquotes: I thought not. It's not a story the Blizzard Devs would tell you. It's an Overwatch legend. Angela Ziegler was the main healer of Overwatch, so powerful and so skilled she could use her rapid healing to influence the human body to create life... She had such a knowledge of healing that she could even keep the ones she cared about from dying. The ZΓΌrich PHD is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. She became so powerful... the only thing she was afraid of was losing her power, which eventually, of course, she did. Unfortunately, she taught Jeff Kaplan everything she knew, then her developers nerfed her in her sleep. Ironic, she could save others from death, but not herself.
twitch chat
February 2018

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

Overwatch

Joker

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–β–„β–€β–„β–€β–„β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘ ░░░░▄▀░▄░▐▐▄▀▄▀▒░░░▀░░░░▀░▄▀▐░░ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–β–β–€β–„β–€β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–Œβ–β–β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–β–„β–€β–‘β–€β–„β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–β–‘ β–‘β–β–β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–β–‘β–Œβ–„β–€β–„β–€β–„β–€β–„β–€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œ β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–β–„β–€β–„β–€β–„β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–„β–„β–€ β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–€β–„β–€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–β–€β–„β–€β–„β–€β–„β–€β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–β–‘β–Œβ–„β–€β–„β–€β–„β–€β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–β–‘β–Œβ–€β–„β–€β–„β–€β–„β–€β–„β–€β–‘β–„β–β–„β–‘β–‘
ascii art
November 2014

A man orders bat at his favorite restaurant

A man orders bat at his favorite restaurant. 3 years later, NFLX fucking tanks 20% after earnings.
January 2022

WallStreetBets

I hate taking shits

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks. TL;DR I hate shitting
April 2022

I need the 2-3 police here right away

twitchquotes: β•°(”◕﹏◕”)぀ hello 2-3 police, i need you here right away, its an emergency β•°(”◕﹏◕”)぀
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp
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