[Copypasta] The Girl you just called fat? She shit herself & lost 15kgs

The Girl you just called fat? She shit herself & lost 15kgs. The Boy you just called stupid? He shit himself. The Girl you just called ugly? She spends hours shitting and farting. The Boy you just tripped? He shit his pants. There's more to people than you think. Like this if your against bullying.
March 2021
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Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft

Today my 12 year old and I walked into Harvard to sign him up for college. The dean rudely asked why a 12 year old was signing up for a prestigious institute. My son proclaimed "Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft". The dean tried to apologize but the police rushed in and dragged him out. My son passed all his classes with 4.0s and graduated magnet koom louder on the first day of college.
December 2020

Jigsaw

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⡄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠋⠄⠄⠉⠿ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣶⠒⣦⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⠁⠄⣠⠒⡄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠉⠉⣁⣴ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣦⡀⠉⠊⠁⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣭⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⡟⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠉⠻⠿⠿⣛⣛⣫⣭⣿⣯⠴⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠐⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢄⠉⢻⣷⣄⠄⠐⢄⣨⣥⣤⡷⠖⠁⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠄⠄⢸⣷⣤⡀⠈⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
October 2018

Iron Man v2

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢄⢄⠢⡠⡀⢀⠄⡀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠡⠄⠉⠻⣻⣟⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⢣⠣⡎⡪⢂⠊⡜⣔⠰⡐⠠⠄⡾⠄⠈⠠⡁⡂⠄⠔⠸⣻⣿⣿⣯⢂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⢰⡱⣝⢕⡇⡪⢂⢊⢪⢎⢗⠕⢕⢠⣻⠄⠄⠄⠂⠢⠌⡀⠄⠨⢚⢿⣿⣧⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡐⡈⠌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡧⣟⢼⣕⢝⢬⠨⡪⡚⡺⡸⡌⡆⠜⣾⠄⠄⠄⠁⡐⠠⣐⠨⠄⠁⠹⡹⡻⣷⡕⢄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢄⠇⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣻⣕⢗⠵⣍⣖⣕⡼⡼⣕⢭⢮⡆⠱⣽⡇⠄⠄⠂⠁⠄⢁⠢⡁⠄⠄⠐⠈⠺⢽⣳⣄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢔⢕⢌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⣾⢯⢳⠹⠪⡺⡺⣚⢜⣽⣮⣳⡻⡇⡙⣜⡇⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⠂⡀⢠⠂⠄⢶⠊⢉⡁⠨⡒⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⡨⣪⣿⢰⠈⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⣽⣵⢿⣸⢵⣫⣳⢅⠕⡗⣝⣼⣺⠇⡘⡲⠇⠄⠄⠨⠄⠐⢀⠐⠐⠡⢰⠁⠄⣴⣾⣷⣮⣇⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⡮⣷⣿⠪⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠂⠠⠄⡿⡞⡇⡟⣺⣺⢷⣿⣱⢕⢵⢺⢼⡁⠪⣘⡇⠄⠄⢨⠄⠐⠄⠄⢀⠄⢸⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⣺⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣖⢯⣻⡑⢕⢭⢷⣻⣽⡾⣮⡳⡵⣕⣗⡇⠡⡣⣃⠄⠄⠸⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣵⡿⣹ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣟⣯⢄⢤⢲⣺⣻⣻⡺⡕⡔⡊⡎⡮⣿⣿⣽⡿⣿⣻⣼⣼⣺⡇⡀⢎⢨⢐⢄⡀⠄⢁⠠⠄⠄⠐⠄⠣⠄⠸⣿⣿⣯⣷⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⢽⠲⡑⢕⢵⢱⢪⡳⣕⢇⢕⡕⣟⣽⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢗⢜⢜⢬⡳⣝⢸⣢⢀⠄⠄⠐⢀⠄⡀⠆⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⢽⣝⢎⡪⡰⡢⡱⡝⡮⡪⡣⣫⢎⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⢄⠄⠈⠑⠑⠭⡪⡪⢏⠗⡦⡀⠐⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⡲⣝⢮⢪⢊⢎⢪⢺⠪⣝⢮⣯⢯⣟⡯⠷⠋⢀⣠⣶⣾⡿⠿⢀⣴⣖⢅⠪⠘⡌⡎⢍⣻⠠⠅⠄⠄⠈⠢⠄⠄⠙⠿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⢺⢍⢎⢎⢪⡪⡮⣪⣿⣞⡟⠛⠋⢁⣠⣶⣿⡿⠛⠋⢀⣤⢾⢿⣕⢇⠡⢁⢑⠪⡳⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢑⠤⢀⢠ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣟⣮⡳⣭⢪⡣⡯⡮⠗⠋⠁⠄⠄⠈⠿⠟⠋⣁⣀⣴⣾⣿⣗⡯⡳⡕⡕⡕⡡⢂⠊⢮⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠐⠨⢁⠨ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⠷⠯⠽⠐⠁⠁⢀⡀⣤⢖⣽⢿⣦⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢎⠇⡪⣸⡪⡮⠊⠄⠌⠎⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡂⢁⠉⡀ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠚⠒⠵⣶⣶⣶⣶⢪⢃⢇⠏⡳⡕⣝⢽⡽⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣺⠰⡱⢜⢮⡟⠁⠄⠄⠅⠅⢂⠐⠄⠐⢀⠄⠄⠄⠂⡁⠂ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⠄⠐⢒⣠⣿⣟⢖⠅⠆⢝⢸⡪⡗⡅⡯⣻⣺⢯⡷⡯⡏⡇⡅⡏⣯⡟⠄⠄⠄⠨⡊⢔⢁⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⢕⢇⢣⢸⢐⢇⢯⢪⢪⠢⡣⠣⢱⢑⢑⠰⡸⡸⡇⠁⠄⠄⠠⡱⠨⢘⠄⠂⡀⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠂⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣟⣝⢔⢅⠸⡘⢌⠮⡨⡪⠨⡂⠅⡑⡠⢂⢇⢇⢿⠁⠄⢀⠠⠨⡘⢌⡐⡈⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣯⢢⢊⢌⢂⠢⠑⠔⢌⡂⢎⠔⢔⢌⠎⡎⡮⡃⢀⠐⡐⠨⡐⠌⠄⡑⠄⢂⠐⢀⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣯⠂⡀⠔⢔⠡⡹⠰⡑⡅⡕⡱⠰⡑⡜⣜⡅⡢⡈⡢⡑⡢⠁⠰⠄⠨⢀⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⢿⣿⣷⣢⢱⠡⡊⢌⠌⡪⢨⢘⠜⡌⢆⢕⢢⢇⢆⢪⢢⡑⡅⢁⡖⡄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⢿⣿⣵⡝⣜⢐⠕⢌⠢⡑⢌⠌⠆⠅⠑⠑⠑⠝⢜⠌⠠⢯⡚⡜⢕⢄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣷⡣⣇⠃⠅⠁⠈⡠⡠⡔⠜⠜⣿⣗⡖⡦⣰⢹⢸⢸⢸⡘⠌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠋⢍⣠⡤⡆⣎⢇⣇⢧⡳⡍⡆⢿⣯⢯⣞⡮⣗⣝⢎⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⣿⣿⣎⢦⠣⠳⠑⠓⠑⠃⠩⠉⠈⠈⠉⠄⠁⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡿⡞⠁⠄⠄⢀⠐⢐⠠⠈⡌⠌⠂⡁⠌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢂⢂⢀⠡⠄⣈⠠⢄⠡⠒⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠢⠠⠊⠨⠐⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
October 2021

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021

I want to rearrange your guts

twitchquotes: I want to rearrange your guts. No, not with my throbbing cock, not even in a sexual or physical manner. I want to drink kombucha and properly alkalinized water with you. Long walks at sunset to Whole Foods, we will manifest good energy through plentiful probiotics and good health
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February 2019

Not your naked body

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