I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas
What's that?
twitchquotes:
"Octavian," weeps a heartbroken Rania, "we need to talk. I'm not happy anymore. Your frail, vegan body no longer satisfies me. I asked you for a child, and all you gave me was this mangy mutt. Well, I've got news for you. I'm pregnant, and I bet you know who the father is. That's right, it's Tanner from Foot Locker. I'm leaving you, Octavian, you've ruined everything. Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Kripp lifts the headphone off his ear and glances in Rania's direction. "What's that?"
twitch chat
Kripp
This the leader of all Greek people, John Stamos
twitchquotes:
Dear Kripp, this is the leader of all Greek people, John Stamos. It is with great pain that I have to ask you to leave my country. Everyone is afraid of the "very casual looking man" with the "perverted fists." I am sorry but you're not welcome here anymore. No Copopolous Pastopolous Linguinoristopoulos
twitch chat
Kripp
Kripp, this is your psychiatrist
twitchquotes:
ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘsʏᴄʜɪᴀᴛʀɪsᴛ. ɪ'ᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ sᴇᴛ ᴜᴘ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sᴇssɪᴏɴ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴇ ᴇʟᴀʙᴏʀᴀᴛᴇ ᴜᴘᴏɴ ʟᴀsᴛ ᴛɪᴍᴇ, ʏᴏᴜ sᴀɪᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ғᴇᴇʟɪɴɢ ᴅᴇᴘʀᴇssᴇᴅ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ 40 ʏᴇᴀʀ ᴏʟᴅ ᴍɪᴅᴅʟᴇ ᴀɢᴇ ᴍᴀɴ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛᴡᴇɴᴛɪᴇs, ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇxᴘʟᴏsɪᴠᴇ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɢɪʀʟғʀɪᴇɴᴅ, ʜᴀғᴜ. sᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sᴏᴏɴ ᴏᴄᴛᴀᴠɪᴀɴ.
twitch chat
Kripp
Kripp BMs an opponent in Hearthstone
twitchquotes:
Hey guys, I want to tell you about a terrible experience I had. I'm a 12 year old boy, I'm quite a nice guy but I've had a rough time lately. My dad left us a few years ago and my mom beats me. I'm very shy and I am bullied at school. Anyways, I played Hearthstone to take my mind of all this stuff. I played Kripp and he said I was a "Mind-blowingly bad hunter", "This guy is a garbage human being", and he said that I'm "a super shit person". He hated me so much and this makes me very sad. 
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
What if we make Firelands Portal a common?
twitchquotes:
"How did Kripp get 12 wins?" Ben Brode demanded at the board meeting. "You were supposed to be monitoring him, Charlie." "Sorry, I must've fallen asleep. He was streaming some boring action-RPG earlier today." Ben Brode frowned. "The salt shortage is cutting into our profits. We're going to need a solution, quick." Sarah raised her hand. "What if we make Firelands Portal a common?"
twitch chat
Kripp