Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas
My favorite character is the reaper guy
twitchquotes:
My favorite character is the reaper guy. he is very powerfull. special move, honestly is one of the best in the game and so he comes equipped with these two revolvers and only takes about 3 or 4 shots to actually execute a kill so it comes really in handy specially when you come from the side.
twitch chat
Overwatch
Slow mode, r9k mode, and randomly banning people, good job mods
twitchquotes:
Boy, the mods in this channel have really done a bang-up job. When I first got here it was all cappuccino pasterino, but now that they're using slow mode, r9k and randomly banning people, we can finally have a productive chat without all the IDIOTS. Thank you, mods.
twitch chat
Kripp
Who is TUCK and why does everyone want to FRUMP him?
twitchquotes:
Hello Twitch chat, i am new to Twitch and wanted to know who this "T U C K" guy is and why everyone wants to "F R U M P" him? I thank you for your answers and pls no copy pasta this spam Greyface 
twitch chat
Trump
Twilight Sparkle
▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░▓▓▓▓
▓▓▓▓▓░▒▒▒▒▒▓▓██▒░░▒▒▓▓▓
▓▓▓▓░░░▒▒▒▒▒▓▓██░▒▒▒▒▓▓
▓▓▓░▐▌░░▒▒▒▒▒▓▓██▒▒▒▒▒▓
▓▓▓░░▌░▒▒▒▒▒▓▓██▒▒▒▒▓▒▓
▓▓▓▒░░░░░░▀███░░░░▓▓▓▓▓
▓▓▒▒░░░░▌▄████▌░░░▓▓▓▓▓
▓▓▒▒░░░░███▄█▌░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓
▓▓▒▒░░░░░▀▀▀▀░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓
▓▒▒▒▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓
▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░░▐▄░▓▓▓▓▓▓
▓▒▒▒▒▒▒░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓
▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓
Trolling my whole class with Among Us Part 1
So today in school, my English teacher was having us do presentation in front of our class. For my presentation, I decided to troll my entire class by making my entire slideshow about the popular game, Among Us. I started off the presentation by showing the class the picture of the Among Us imposter wearing sneakers (it's a meme on google if you want to search for it). For some reason, no one laughed at the meme. My teacher told me "this isn't what your presentation is supposed to be about." I responded by yelling "THE TEACHER IS SUS I SAW HER VENT" and then naruto running around the room. Again, no one even giggled. I assume it's because it was forst bell and everyone was tired. My teacher said "Please sit down." But I wasn't about to give up. I made a last ditch effort to make everyone laugh. I started to beatbox the Among Us theme song trap remix. I was beatboxing it so well (i had practiced it at home), i was certain that everyone would burst out in laughter. Unfortunately, not a single person laughed. Everyone was staring at me, so I said "You guys are all sussy, I'm gonna eject you".
Long story short, I ended up getting a bad grade on my presentation and I got a detention. However, it was worth it because I totally got to troll my entire class.