[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Bonjourno my name es Luigi

twitchquotes: Bonjourno my name es Luigi and i am from italiano and i own a restaurant called Dongerino where we make the best copy pasterino and copy pizzarino in the whole world so if you go to italiano plis come visit us you wont be disapointino. Sry for bad americano and plis no coperino pasta alfredo ravioli ravili give me the formuoli
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

Ben Shapiro LEGO city

Now, let’s say, hypothetically, that a man has fallen into the river, in LEGO City. That would lead us to look at the facts and realize that it would be time to start the new rescue helicopter, due to the HEY! This would mean that we’d build the helicopter, and logically would be off to the rescue. I would, hypothetically, prepare the lifeline, which would proceed with me lowering the stretcher. Which makes sense, seeing as I would be making the rescue. So now I must pose the question, why do liberals hate the new Emergency Collection from LEGO City?
December 2020

Lego City

Ben Shapiro

John Cena eats Bing Chilling

Zǎoshang hǎo zhōngguó xiànzài wǒ yǒu BING CHILLING 🥶🍦 wǒ hěn xǐhuān BING CHILLING 🥶🍦 dànshì sùdù yǔ jīqíng 9 bǐ BING CHILLING 🥶🍦 sùdù yǔ jīqíng sùdù yǔ jīqíng 9 wǒ zuì xǐhuān suǒyǐ…xiànzài shì yīnyuè shíjiān zhǔnbèi 1 2 3 liǎng gè lǐbài yǐhòu sùdù yǔ jīqíng 9 ×3 bùyào wàngjì bùyào cu òguò jìdé qù diànyǐngyuàn kàn sùdù yǔ jīqíng 9 yīn wéi fēicháng hǎo diànyǐng dòngzuò fēicháng hǎo chàbùduō yīyàng BING CHILLING 🥶🍦zàijiàn 🥶🍦
November 2021

Elephant

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November 2014
Text-to-Speech Playing