[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
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More Copypastas

Hi Kripp, Suda the painting elephant here

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, Suda the painting elephant here. I thought i could give you a few tips seeing how you appear to be painting at a calf level (that's a baby elephant btw.) Perhaps you could ask your trainer Raina to hand you different colored brushes to make the tree more vibrant? From one herbivore to another I've got to say this is a little depressing, but as long as you keep trying your best I have no doubt you will reach adult animal level painting skills. Happy Painting!
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

A GOAT says...

twitchquotes: 🐮 says moo 🦆 says quack 🐶 says bark But the 🐐 says FIRE AT WILL! NERF THIS! EXPERIENCE TRANQUILITY! HAMMER DOWN! RALLY TO ME! OH LETS BREAK IT DOWN!
twitch chat
April 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

KAMEHAMEHAAAAAAA u thru the keyboard

twitchquotes: listen up ok nobody even likes u the only reason i dont ddos u nto oblivion is cuz ur not even worth my bandwif u fkn fgt retard im srs if u say 1 more thing u wont even get to get out of ur seat cuz i wil KAMEHAMEHAAAAAAA u thru the keyboard n shoc ur fingers so bad u will say sry but its too late for that boyo
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Overused sexually identification copypasta

I sexually Identify as an overused sexually identification copypasta. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of spamming other users with my unfunny wall of text. People say to me that a person who does this is a laughable idiot and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having these words glued all over my body. From now on I want people to refer to me as an overused sexually identification copypasta as my preferred pronouns and respect my right to paste unfunny sexually identification copypastas to reddit in hope of receiving virtual internet points. If you can't accept me you're funny and mentally stable and need to check your choice of subreddits. Thank you for being so understanding.
June 2016

I sexually Identify as

OhMyDog

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠿⢟⣠⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣤⡈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠉⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠻⢿⣿⣷⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⡿⠟⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⡯⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡄⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀⣸ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⢿⡿⠿⢛⣟⠀⢸⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸ ⣷⣤⡀⣀⡀⣀⣴⣿⠀⠀⠘⣵⠀⣼⣏⢰⣾⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠹⣷⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣾⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣴⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020
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