[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

No Kyiv?

——————————No kyiv?————————————— ⠀⣞⢽⢪⢣⢣⢣⢫⡺⡵⣝⡮⣗⢷⢽⢽⢽⣮⡷⡽⣜⣜⢮⢺⣜⢷⢽⢝⡽⣝ ⠸⡸⠜⠕⠕⠁⢁⢇⢏⢽⢺⣪⡳⡝⣎⣏⢯⢞⡿⣟⣷⣳⢯⡷⣽⢽⢯⣳⣫⠇ ⠀⠀⢀⢀⢄⢬⢪⡪⡎⣆⡈⠚⠜⠕⠇⠗⠝⢕⢯⢫⣞⣯⣿⣻⡽⣏⢗⣗⠏⠀ ⠀⠪⡪⡪⣪⢪⢺⢸⢢⢓⢆⢤⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢊⢞⡾⣿⡯⣏⢮⠷⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠊⠆⡃⠕⢕⢇⢇⢇⢇⢇⢏⢎⢎⢆⢄⠀⢑⣽⣿⢝⠲⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠂🇺🇦⡇⢇⠕⢈⣀⠀⠁⠡⠣⡣⡫⣂⣿⠯⢪⠰⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡦⡙⡂⢀⢤⢣⠣⡈⣾⡃⠠🇺🇦⡄⢱⣌⣶⢏⢊⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢝⡲⣜⡮⡏⢎⢌⢂⠙⠢⠐⢀⢘⢵⣽⣿⡿⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠨⣺⡺⡕⡕⡱⡑⡆⡕⡅⡕⡜⡼⢽⡻⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣳⣫⣾⣵⣗⡵⡱⡡⢣⢑⢕⢜⢕⡝⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⡽⡑⢌⠪⡢⡣⣣⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡟⡾⣿⢿⢿⢵⣽⣾⣼⣘⢸⢸⣞⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠇⠡⠩⡫⢿⣝⡻⡮⣒⢽⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ———————————————————————————
March 2022

Russian Ukrainian War

Sense of pride and accomplishment

twitchquotes: The 💰 intent 💰 is 💰 to 💰 provide 💰 players 💰 with 💰 a 💰 sense 💰 of 💰 pride 💰 and 💰 accomplishment 💰 for 💰 unlocking 💰 different 💰 heroes. 💰 As 💰 for 💰 cost, 💰 we 💰 selected 💰 initial 💰 values 💰 based 💰 upon 💰 data 💰 from 💰 the 💰 Open 💰 Beta 💰 and 💰 other 💰 adjustments 💰 made 💰 to 💰 milestone 💰 rewards 💰 before 💰 launch. 💰 Among 💰 other 💰 things, 💰 we're 💰 looking 💰 at 💰 average 💰 per-player 💰 credit 💰 earn 💰 rates 💰 on 💰 a 💰 daily 💰 basis, 💰 and 💰 we'll 💰 be 💰 making 💰 constant 💰 adjustments 💰 to 💰 ensure 💰 that 💰 players 💰 have 💰 challenges 💰 that 💰 are 💰 compelling, 💰 rewarding, 💰 and 💰 of 💰 course 💰 attainable 💰 via 💰 gameplay. We 💰 appreciate 💰 the 💰 candid 💰 feedback, 💰 and 💰 the 💰 passion 💰 the 💰 community 💰 has 💰 put 💰 forth 💰 around 💰 the 💰 current 💰 topics 💰 here 💰 on 💰 Reddit, 💰 our 💰 forums 💰 and 💰 across 💰 numerous 💰 social 💰 media 💰 outlets. Our 💰 team 💰 will 💰 continue 💰 to 💰 make 💰 changes 💰 and 💰 monitor 💰 community 💰 feedback 💰 and 💰 update 💰 everyone 💰 as 💰 soon 💰 and 💰 as 💰 often 💰 as 💰 we 💰 can. 💰
twitch chat
November 2017

I think its hilarious u kids talking shit about Tim

twitchquotes: i think its hilarious 😂😭 u kids 👶🙋 talking shit🗣💩 about Tim. u wouldnt say this *** to him irl, hes jacked💪👊. not only that but he wears the freshest clothes,👕👖 eats at the chillest restaurants🏯❄ and hangs out with the hottest dudes🔥😎. yall are pathetic lol✋
twitch chat
November 2016
TimTheTatman

Hi Kripp, Google again here

twitchquotes: Kripp, Google again here. We've noticed that you've been away from Twitch for at least 2 minutes in the past. We're just wondering if everything is okay. Is it still the merchandise? We're serious about raising the price if it's a problem to you. We just want you to have fun, and to of course buy more Twitch merchandise. Our Viewbots are ready to bring you (mostly us) much ad revenue. Thank you Kripp, hope to see you soon
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Viewbots

xQc schnoze

⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠧⣛⣛⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣭⣭⣽⣿⣿⣷⢬⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⢀⠀⣤⣴⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣛⣿⣯⣭⡿⣯⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠂⢈⣴⣿⢋⣛⣿⣿⣿⠿⣋⣽⣿⠿⢛⠩⢍⣂⣴⣦⣀⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⣷⣿⣿⣿⣛⣽⠟⣩⣴⣿⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿ ⣏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠋⠏⣿⠋⠀⠔⣶⠟⠉⠀⠂⠀⠉⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣰⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣷⣦⣄⣤⣿⡃⠀⢃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⡶⣀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢿⣿⣧⣦⢻⣿⣿⣿⣆⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠿⠟⠋⣡⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⡯⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣼⣿⣬⠻⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⠘⣿⠂⠀⠀⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠻⣿⣿⣿⠉⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⢿⣿⣿⠀⣠⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣶⣄⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⠟⡴⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
April 2019
xQcOW
Text-to-Speech Playing