[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
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More Copypastas

I'm reporting all of you spammers to the Twitch CEO

twitchquotes: Ok chat I've had it. I will be reporting all of you spammers to my dad (Twitch CEO btw) and he will be banning you from Twitch. So keep it up if you want to be banned, you have only yourself to be blamed
twitch chat
June 2019

I hate Twitch Chat

Henry Stickmin

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August 2021

Artosis the Great

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparian! This is your lord and saviour, Artosis the Great! I have boarded my private jet to Greecerino to meet you and your lovely wiferino Rania. See you soon! Much loverino, please no dan marino gran torino
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

I pay much $$ to spam

twitchquotes: Dear mod. If u ban me. u mad kripp. i pay $5. I pay much $$ to spam. Please respect my Footlong of $5. If i spam u say ok, and not ban me. I pay $5 u. can. not. ban. me. (no copy or pasterino)
twitch chat
October 2014

MODS

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