[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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Momo 3

⣿⣿⡇⠄⣼⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣰⣿⡿⠟⢻⣿⣿⣷⡀⠸⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠰⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⠆⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠄⢿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣼⣿⡟⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠻⣿⣷⣤⣤⣾⣿⡿⠁⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⠃⢸⣦⡙⠛⠿⠟⠛⠉⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⡈⠛⠻⠿⠛⢋⣴⡇⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⡀⠈⢿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⣿⡋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣾⣿⡿⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠄⠈⢿⣿⣯⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣽⣿⡟⠄⠄⣮⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣷⣌⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢁⣾⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣦⡀⠈⠛⢿⣿⡿⠟⠉⢀⣴⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⢠⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⠟⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠉⠻⢿⣷⣶⣾⡿⠛⠁⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿
March 2019

Kripp found dead

twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Luigi's donger

twitchquotes: In 2018 Nintendo released official marketing art that featured Luigi in Mario Tennis, fans were able to figure out the length of Luigi’s penis by measuring the tennis racket compared to luigi’s bulge in the image. Since Tennis rackets are 28 inches long in real life, by measuring the pixels we were able to mathematically deduce that Luigi’s penis is 3.7 inches flacid.
twitch chat
December 2020

Kill cummand face, huntard hardest deck in the game

twitchquotes: reynad is deep in thought. 'do i play my overpowered dog card now or later?'. he makes the misplay but it doesn't matter. he kill cummands the face. hardest deck in the game.
twitch chat
April 2014
Reynad

Kripp reluctantly crawls into bed

twitchquotes: Kripp reluctantly crawls into bed where a breathless Hafu is waiting. She takes hold of his hand and whispers, "It's ok, I broke up with Jake." He squeezes her hand, let's go, squeezes again, "You're the best female arena player...," Kripp says dejectedly, "But I made a vow to Rania to never love another woman." Hafu runs her hands lovingly down his cheek, "You're not cheating," she whispers, "I'm really Amaz."
twitch chat
August 2018
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing