[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

The Moon isn't so great?

twitchquotes: The Moon isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw an astronomical object with such an ability and movement within the celestial plane? The Moon puts the eclipse game to another level, and we will be blessed if we ever see a planet with its skill and passion for moving in front of things again. The Sun breaks records. Earth breaks records. The Moon breaks the rules. You can keep your statistics. I prefer the magic.
twitch chat
June 2019

PepegaPhone

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢴⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣄⡀⢠⣤⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣟⣉⣠⣤⣤⣤⣉⡻⢿⣇⣠⣤⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⣁⣄⡈⠻⣿⢃⣴⠷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡴⠶⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣩⣭⣭⣄⡀⠛⢡⣾⡏⠉⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡏⠄⠄⠢⠘⣿⣿⣿⠘⣿⣿⡿⠁⠙⣿⡄⢸⣿⡇⢰⡷⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣼⣧⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⠋⣷⢸⣿⠇⢰⠆⣿⡇⠈⢿⡿⠆⠄⣠⡄ ⠄⠄⣀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣇⢿⡌⠻⣤⣤⠶⠟⣁⠐⡖⠒⠂⢉⣩⣀ ⠄⣼⣿⣿⡿⠛⣥⣤⣤⡄⠄⠘⠋⠛⠿⡌⠛⠳⠶⠆⣠⣴⣿⣷⡘⢋⣽⣿⡿⠟ ⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣇⡈⠟⢠⣄⣰⢏⡠⠄⠰⢶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣟⣡⠴⠄ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⣿⣷⠄⢸⣿⣿⣯⣠⠞⣠⣈⠻⠿⠿⢿⣛⣉⠤⠶⠛⣫⡀⠄⠄ ⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠙⢿⡄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠨⣻⡄⣀⣴⠏⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⡖⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣠⣾⡿⠇⣀⡀⠄⠄⠁⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣤⣤⣴⠶⠟⠛⠉⠙⠛⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021

Pepe

Asian Dude from Heartharena here

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, Asian Dude from Heartharena here. We've noticed you've been away from our website for a long time. Is it the Classic Aggro? We've adjusted our tier list to your more Classic Greed style. Please come back. Best regards, Classic Asian Dude from Heartharena
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

This guy's deck is average

twitchquotes: ☑ “This guy's deck is average” ☑ “My deck wins about half of the time against a deck like that” ☑ "He played precisely those two cards" ☑ “He topdecked a mediocre card for a mediocre turn” ☑ "He had several cards" ☑ “There were multiple options open to me” ☑ “I played that"
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

10 years since Dota 2 update

twitchquotes: 10 years since Dota 2 update. I walk through the e mpty streets trying to think of something else but  I always end up sitting here, in front of my comp uter. I stare at the screen for hours and try to s ummon Icefrog. I watch other games updating and ge tting new heroes but it is no good. I counter pick  Sniper to resist the meta, but it's all meaningle ss. The end is near. Then I look on the patch-upda te history and cry myself to sleep.
twitch chat
April 2015
SingSing

Dota 2

Text-to-Speech Playing