[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Goomba

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░▄██▄▀░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄██▄░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░███░░░░░░░░░░░░███░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░█░▀██░░░░░░░░░░██▀░█░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░█░░░▄██▄░░░░░░▄██▄░░░█░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░▄▀░▄▀──▀█▄░░░░▄█▀──▀▄░▀▄░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░▄▀░▄▀───▄─██░░██─▄───▀▄░▀▄░░░░░░░ ░░░░░▄▀░░░█───███─█░░█─███───█░░░▀▄░░░░░ ░░░▄▀░░░░░█────▀──█░░█──▀────█░░░░░▀▄░░░ ░▄▀░░░░░░░█──────█░░░░█──────█░░░░░░░▀▄░ █░░░░░▄░░░░▀▄▄▄▄▀░░░░░░▀▄▄▄▄▀░░░░▄░░░░░█ █░░░░░▌▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀▐░░░░░█ █░░░░▐▄▄▄█▄▄▄▄▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄▄▄▄▄█▄▄▄▌░░░░█ █░░░░▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀░░░░█ ░▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀░ ░░░▀▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▀▀░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░▄▄▀▀▀▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀▀▀▀▄▄░░░░░░░ ░░░░░▄▀░░░░░░░▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▀░░░░░░░▀▄░░░░░ ░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀░░▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░█░░░░░ ░░░░░░▀▄░░░░░░░▄▀░░░░░░▀▄░░░░░░░▄▀░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░▀▀▀▀▀▀▀░░░░░░░░░░▀▀▀▀▀▀▀░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
September 2021

without throwing your cat across the room

twitchquotes: Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
November 2019

George Floyd BLACK LIVES MATTER

⣼⣿⣿⢿⡻⢝⠙⠊⠋⠉⠉⠈⠊⠝⣿⡻⠫⠫⠊⠑⠉⠉⠑⠫⢕⡫⣕⡁⠁ ⣼⡻⠕⠅⠁⣀⣤⣤⣄⣀⠈⠄⠁⠄⠁⣿⡮⠄⠁⠄⠄⡠⠶⠶⠦⡀⠈⣽⡢ ⣿⣧⠄⠁⠄⠔⠒⠭⠭⠥⠥⠓⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⡄⠁⠠⣤⠉⠉⣭⠝⠈⢐⣽⣕ ⣿⣷⡢⢄⡰⡢⡙⠄⠠⠛⠁⢀⢔⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⡈⠁⠈⠁⠉⡹⣽⣿⣷ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣬⣭⡭⠔⣠⣪⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣵⡒⠫⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣛⣥⣶⣿⠟⢁⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡙⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡫⠁⢀⠑⠓⠫⢝⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⡻⠊⢉⣄⠈⠪⡫⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⠁⣰⣿⣿⣢⢤⣀⡀⠈⠉⠉⢀⠠⠪⢝⡻⣷⡀⠊⡪⡻⣿ ⡫⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⡊⢠⣿⣿⡫⠚⣊⣡⠶⢦⣤⣤⠶⠞⡛⠳⣌⠫⡻⡀⠈⡺⢿ ⠪⡪⡫⢟⡿⣕⠁⡫⠝⠊⡴⠋⠁⠁⠐⠁⠂⠈⠐⠈⠈⠐⠐⠳⠄⠹⣇⠪⡻ ⠄⠁⠊⠕⡪⢕⢀⠞⠁⠄⣁⢀⢀⣀⣤⣤⣠⣀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⡆⠄⠆⢷⠕⡪ ⣄⠄⠁⠄⠁⠄⡎⠄⠁⢬⣮⣕⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡫⡪⡵⠄⠁⠄⠈ ⣿⣄⠁⠄⠁⠄⡣⠄⠁⣷⣯⣵⣢⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣠⣬⣟⡕⠄⠁⢀⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡀⠁⠄⡎⠄⠁⠻⣿⣾⣯⣪⣔⢄⣀⣀⣀⡠⣶⣾⣽⣿⠃⠄⢀⣼⣿ ❤️🤍💙GEORGE FLOYD 1973 - 2020❤️🤍💙 ✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿 I CAN'T BREATHE ✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿 ✊🏻✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿 BLACK LIVES MATTER ✊🏿✊🏾✊🏽✊🏼✊🏻
March 2021

Valiant calls Shanghai

twitchquotes: HELLO SHANGHAI 📞 4Head IT'S THE VALIANT 📞 4Head WE'LL TAKE IT FROM HERE 📞 4Head
twitch chat
March 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Shut your eyes and listen closely

twitchquotes: Shut your eyes and listen closely. Do you feel it? The gentle clicks of a finely crafted keyboard massaging your eardrums? The soft soothing moan that comes from a man that has seen the inside of his attic and understands many things? The jovial chuckles awakening memories of the trips with the family to your uncle's barn on a mild summer evening when you were a kid? That is what Kripp's stream is to me. I am at peace.
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing