[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⠴⠶⠶⠶⠶⠒⠾⠿⠿⠿⣛⡛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⡷⠶⠶⢶⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⡾⠟⠛⠉⣉⣩⣤⡴⠦⠭⠥⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠂⠤⠀⢀⣀⠈⠑⠢⢀⠑⠀⠀⠙⢿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡾⠟⠁⣠⡢⠔⢫⠞⣉⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠄⠠⠀⠀⠐⡠⢂⡴⠶⠦⢴⡊⠙⠒⠀⠑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠀⡠⢊⡫⡀⢀⣤⣞⣡⣼⣿⣦⠀⠐⠉⠱⡤⢢⠦⠀⠀⣰⠋⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠳⢾⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣼⡏⣰⠁⠠⠪⠿⣟⠩⠉⠀⠀⠈⢻⡧⠄⣴⠞⠁⣣⠖⠀⢰⣧⠞⠁⠀⠠⠍⡻⣼⡆⠀⢀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣴⡾⠟⣽⢋⡒⠦⡢⠐⠀⠄⠒⠲⠶⠖⠋⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠙⠀⠀⠘⣷⡀⠤⠤⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⡍⠀⠐⠉⣉⣗⠦⣄⠘⢿⣦⡀⠀⠀ ⣾⠋⠀⢸⠇⢹⠟⢦⣄⡀⠄⠀⠀⠉⠁⣰⠶⢖⣾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⢦⣤⣝⠓⠒⠒⠊⠀⠈⠀⠀⢀⣴⠞⠋⣽⢻⠱⡈⢳⡈⢯⠻⣦⠀ ⣿⠀⡆⠸⣆⢸⡦⡄⠉⠛⠶⣬⣔⡀⠘⠁⢸⡏⠁⠀⠀⠶⢦⣤⡀⠈⡇⠈⠳⠄⠀⢀⠀⠀⣀⡴⢿⠥⣄⣼⠃⡌⠀⢳⠀⢳⠸⡄⠘⣧ ⣿⡀⡇⠀⠈⠷⣇⡗⣦⣠⡀⠈⠙⠛⡿⠶⠾⢿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣀⣀⣁⣀⣁⣀⣠⣤⣿⠿⠟⠛⣉⣀⡏⢀⡿⠁⠰⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⣿ ⠘⣷⡁⢀⢸⠀⣿⠀⡟⠀⣷⠋⢳⡾⠙⢷⡀⠀⣠⠤⣌⠉⠉⣉⣭⣍⠉⣩⠭⢤⣀⡴⠚⢲⡇⠀⣿⠏⠀⠠⠃⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀⠀⠁⣼⠏ ⠀⠘⣷⢸⠈⡆⣿⣿⣁⢀⠏⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⢻⣾⠁⠀⠈⢳⣴⠏⠀⠹⣶⠇⠀⠀⢹⡀⣀⣼⣷⡾⠃⢠⠀⢀⠄⠀⠠⠁⠀⠀⣀⣼⠋⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣄⣼⠃⠀⠀⢸⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⡀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⢀⣼⠟⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣿⣧⣀⣀⣤⣤⣿⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣫⠄⢀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⢠⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⣧⣿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣩⠞⠁⡰⠁⠀⠠⠀⠀⡐⠀⢠⡾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⣿⡟⢀⡟⠀⣿⠋⢻⡿⠻⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⡔⠁⠠⠞⠀⠀⠀⠁⢀⠌⢀⣴⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣼⠃⡄⢹⣿⡙⢇⣠⡇⠀⣸⠁⢠⠇⠀⢹⠃⢠⠛⠙⡏⠉⣇⣼⠿⢃⡴⠋⠀⠐⠁⠔⠀⠐⠁⣠⣢⣴⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⠀⡇⠸⡿⢷⣄⡀⠙⠒⠳⡤⠼⣄⣀⢼⣀⢾⣀⣸⣶⡾⠟⣁⡴⠋⢀⡠⠒⠁⠀⠀⢀⣤⡾⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⠀⠻⡄⠉⠠⡉⠙⠳⠶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣷⣶⠿⠿⠟⠋⠉⠖⠫⠕⠒⠈⠀⢀⣤⣴⡶⠟⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢿⡄⠀⠉⠓⠀⠀⠈⠉⠠⠌⠀⠀⠀⣀⠠⠄⠂⠠⠤⠤⠴⠊⠁⣀⣴⡾⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠻⣦⣑⠒⠤⣅⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣤⣶⠶⠶⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠶⠶⣤⣭⣭⣭⣭⣴⠶⠶⠛⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2021

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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡏⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⡇⠀⡇⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣤⣾⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠘⠋⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠿⢦⠤⠤⣤⠤⠤⡤⠤⢼⡧⠤⢼⠀⠀⠿⠤⡄⡠⠤⠴⠿⡇⠀⠀⠧⠤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⡇⠀⢸⡇⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠿⢿⠀⠀⠿⠀⠀⠇⠀⢸⡇⠀⢸⠀⠀⠿⠿⡇⠀⠸⠿⠿⡇⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⣄⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⡇⠀⢸⣄⠀⠀⠀⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
April 2021

Dubarino

twitchquotes: Wᴇʟʟ Mᴇᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ Dᴜʙᴀɪ, Rᴇʏɴᴀᴅ. Pʟs sᴛᴏᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ. "୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨" ᴍᴇᴀɴs "Yᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ɢᴏᴀᴛ ᴘᴇɴ!s" ɪɴ ᴅᴜʙᴀʀɪɴᴏ.
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

OH MY GOD IS THAT A RAINBOW LOGO?

‼️‼️OH MY GOD‼️‼️ IS THAT A 🏳️‍🌈R🏳️‍🌈A🏳️‍🌈I🏳️‍🌈N🏳️‍🌈B🏳️‍🌈O🏳️‍🌈W🏳️‍🌈 LOGO?!?!?!?!? 😍😍😍😍 OMG 🤯🤯UR SO INCLUSIVE😱😱😱😱 🏳️‍🌈LGBT 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️TRANS 🏳️‍⚧️RIGHTS YAAAAS!!!!!!!!!🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈 UR SO PROGRESSIVE 💁🏻‍♂️💁🏼‍♂️💁🏽‍♂️💁🏾‍♂️💁🏿‍♂️ I WILL NOW BUY EVERYTHING YOU HAVE! 👏👏👏🥺🥺🥺 I LOVE YOU SO MUCH NOW 😫😩😩😍😍🥰🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈
June 2021

Emoji Pasta

My boyfriend doesnt know (from r/trueoffmychest)

At the beginning of this month, my boyfriend received an email from his brother with the subject "Dude check this out" and a Google Doc called "!!NEW RAP!!". When my boyfriend opened it, all that was on the doc was a picture of Nikocado Avocado’s asshole. When my boyfriend texted his brother about receiving his email, he replied "what email?". They’ve been going back and forth since about the email, my boyfriend’s brother saying he never sent an email and my boyfriend thinking he’s keeping up the act. What my boyfriend doesn’t know is I sent the email. I made an almost identical looking email, one letter off, and even managed to find the exact email profile picture from his brother’s LinkedIn. Now it kills me every time I see them go at it. I’m literally pissing myself as I write this.
May 2022

Reddit

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