[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Marginally optimizing a children's game!

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, loyal fan chiming in here (for once). I think your stream is great! I would have spent my time working towards a cure for cancer, or how to automate food production in the 3rd world, but luckily i stumbled onto your stream and now I can waste my time watching you marginally optimize a children's game! What a career you have made!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

You call yourself rich?

twitchquotes: You call yourself rich? Bro, I'm a Tier 3 subscriber to all the famous Twitch streamers, I don't use Notepad, I use Photoshop. I have all of the Adobe products and I wear Louis Vuitton on a daily basis. I donate $5000 to Pokimane every stream, talk to me again when you're rich.
twitch chat
November 2020

Simps

Ban one American, get the whole McDonald's

twitchquotes: OpieOP ban OpieOP one OpieOP american OpieOP and OpieOP you OpieOP get OpieOP the OpieOP whole OpieOP mcdonalds OpieOP
twitch chat
April 2017

MODS

Ban X Get The Whole Y

EU vs NA

Kripp, eat chicken

twitchquotes: Kripp this is Dr. Zeus Stromboloupolous. We need you to immediately star drinking MILK and EAT chicken at least once every week. Otherwise RIP is veganiro pepperoni
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Clash Royale He He He Ha emote

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣛⡉⢹⢛⣛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣫⡆⠀⣿⣷⣬⣼⡿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡘⢿⣾⡿⠿⠿⠛⢃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⠫⠶⠿⠟⣋⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠏⠩⣭⣭⠉⠘⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠠⠤⠴⢯⣭⢤⠤⢄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠶⠬⢼⣸⣇⢠⠬⠼⠌⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠙⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⢀⣮⣅⣛⠻⠇⠿⢛⣃⣩⣴⠃⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠘⢿⣿⠿⠟⠻⠟⣛⠻⢿⠿⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⠀⠀⠲⠈⣭⣭⢩⣭⡴⠐⠀⠀⡌⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣾⣷⣦⣀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣿⣿⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2021

Clash Royale

Text-to-Speech Playing