[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Back in my day copying a message took skill

twitchquotes: ( ͡ʘ╭͜ʖ╮͡ʘ) Back in my day copying a message took skill. Now the chat stops moving when you scroll up. Disrespectful kids and their technology. ( ͡ʘ╭͜ʖ╮͡ʘ)
twitch chat
August 2015
Reynad

Zero viewers

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⣠⣴⣤⡀⠄⠙⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⣿ ⣿⡿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠙⠻⠛⠁⠄⣴⣿ ⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2018
Forsen

Seven flamestrikes is not a FREE TO PLAY deck

twitchquotes: Kripp, how can you even PRETEND that you are playing with a FREE TO PLAY deck when yours has seven flamestrikes? I thought this stream was newbie friendly, well apparently I was mistaken. For the sake of ***. Unsubbed, unfollowed and unremembered. Bye, Kripp.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

NA, aka "Not Advancing"

twitchquotes: NA, aka "Not Advancing" is a region known for their brief yearly appearance in the group stage of worlds, where they manage to disappoint despite having zero expectations
twitch chat
October 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

EU vs NA

i graduated top of my class from burger king

twitchquotes: you fucking vegan, ill have you know i graduated top of my class from burger king university in burger flipping and have flipped over 9000 burgers in my day you dumb vegan, but you wouldn't know that would you you soy muncher? If you said that to my face I would be flipping patties all over your vegan face and you'd be full of my meat before you even knew what was happening.
twitch chat
September 2017
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing