[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

if my girl and fidget spinner both dying

twitchquotes: if my girl👧😍and fidget spinner߷ both dying😱and I can only save one 😤😬catch me at her funeral 😔👻🌹spinning ߷ through ߷ the ߷ pain ߷ 💯 😎
twitch chat
June 2017

Emoji Pasta

Fidget Spinner

GET THE PEPPER OFF

I ain't never seen no mustard on that, but it might be good though, my dad would know better, boutta get him. Aww, mustard! Come on man, now don't put no mustard on that, you need to put a little season on that thing! WHAT! Man come on get that pepper off there! Come on, somebody come get this man! Come on now, come on get that pepper of there, that's just too much doggone pepper. I don't wanna see this no more! Oh, what happened oh. GOD! OH MY GOD! BOY WHY YOU PUTTING THAT PEPPER ON THERE?TAKE THAT OFF OF THERE. GET THE PEPPER OFF! ACHA!!
July 2021

I've achieved so much that you'll never come close to

twitchquotes: I've achieved so much that you'll never come close to. Your life is fucking empty, which is why you're relishing this little bit of attention you're getting from someone. You spent an evening tweeting inane opinions and reactions into the void. Let me know when reality kicks in.
twitch chat
May 2019

Transcript of me cleaning my keyboard and reassembling it

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ ..//////PPPP;;;LLMNBIYNJHJNNKGBCVRYCZXXXX6Zew$;/BNM,.Z4110,HUQC////-*-*77778747474747//YU4:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/20214:30 PM 23/06/2021````````````````````12222225668886666666777777777-0000000099999999999999999999================= WEEEEEQQQQQQQRYIIIIIIIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUIIIYYYYYYYYYT] [POOOOOOOOOOO ///////..,,MNN ///'[''''''''''''''''''...,M.////////////////////////;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/....,M,LLLLLLLLLLLKKKKKKKKJJJJBVCBBBBBVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVCCCCCCCCC CCCCCC.....GBHNHZXXXXXXVGGGGGFFFFFFDDDDDDDDDD==[]]]]]]][=========MMMMMMM, KL,/,L;.,,,NMNMCL.,,,,,,,,,LKLK,L. SDADDDDSDWAXDDDDQWASEDXSSSD `1WEZESXE3ASZZZZZ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++-+00000000000000000006311.....12223653 7+OJUSQ q
June 2021

Kripp's the best arena player in the world

twitchquotes: All you idiots pretend like Kripp misplays, but really you know he's the best arena player in the world and that he hasn't made a misplay in the last 6 months, he just gets super unlucky you ignorant fools. You guys are so dumb that you'll probably copy and paste this message too, you morons.
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing