Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
With Intel Core i7, hes just getting started
twitchquotes:
Think he cant clutch through a smoke while recording in full resolution and streaming the play to the world? Watch this. Think u cant get famous in a flash like become your own meme famous? Watch this. Think hes been there, done that? With Intel Core i7, hes just getting started.
twitch chat
TELL US I LOVE YOU GUYS
twitchquotes:
TELL US I LOVE YOU GUYS OR WE WILL SPAM DANSGAME FOR 10DAYS NON STOP 
TELL US I LOVE YOU GUYS OR WE WILL SPAM DANSGAME FOR 10DAYS NON STOP
twitch chat
Hey guys Saltarian here
twitchquotes:
Hey guys Saltarian here, just want to let chat know that in order to survive I need to Feast upon the salt energy that kripp produces upon experiencing a long bout of bad luck. So please snipe and emote him in ways that will evoke his true salt essence. with enough salt I will take control of his scrawny vegan body and I will give chat what they have been waiting for all along...
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
Hi Kripp this is Battlemaster's wife Housewifemaster
twitchquotes:
Hi Kripp this is Battlemaster's wife Housewifemaster, i've noticed that my husband is never home to play with the Childrenmasters and they are really missing their Fathermaster. Could you choose my dear Husbandmaster less so that my kids can grow up with an actual Dadmaster? Thank you Kripp, maybe he can take you to Gymmaster so you can put some muscle on that scrawny vegan body.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
Discovering a way to produce eggs much like a chicken does
twitchquotes:
Hello, i come to seek help. I am interested in trying to discover a way to produce eggs much like a chicken does. i have tested inserting the egg into myself and hoping it will act like a seed and grow like a tree in my belly but so far it has not been successful. Please help i struggle to sleep at night without an answer.
twitch chat
Forsen