[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Coke Gaming ad script

twitchquotes: Oh my god, what the hell? what's going on? What, oh my god. Coke, are you serious right now? COKE GAMING WHAT! You are invited to the Twitch Partner Program! HI, I Just got partnered. We got partnered boys. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! What! Coke Gaming, what Is this? 10,000 bits? Coke Gaming, thank you so much for the 10,000 bits! Thanks. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you Coke.
twitch chat
December 2019

TriHard salute

⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢿⠿⠿⠢⡈⠻⠿⢿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠳⣦⣌⣉⡛⠻⠿⠿⢏⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣁⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣻⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠈⠑⠢⢀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⠉⠋⠙⣿⣿⠉⠠⡲⣶⠢⠄⠄⠄⡄⢾⢛⣿⣯⢽⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠒ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣕⠘⠋⢸⡇⠈⠛⠿⢿⣷⣦⡀⠄⢀ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣆⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⡍⣀⣀⡰⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢯⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣧⠗⡚⠚⠄⠄⠙⢿⢟⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⢿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢼⡞⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⣇⠄⠄⠤⠤⠴⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠳⣤⡤⠤⠶⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2018

I WANT TO TOUCH THE KRIPPARRIAN

twitchquotes: ᶤ ʷᵃᶰᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵗᵒᵘᶜʰ ᵗʰᵉ ᵏʳᶤᵖᵖᵃʳʳᶤᵃᶰ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Get a life nerds

twitchquotes: Honestly though, copy-pasting the same thing over and over again, how dumb can all of you be? The more i post it, the funnier it gets ResidentSleeper You guys are so easy to trick into spamming. Get a life nerds
twitch chat
November 2019

How will this affect Rick James?

twitchquotes: Yesterday I walked into the bathroom and my brother was taking a shit. I don't know why he didn't lock the door, but before I could leave he asked me to grab him a roll of toilet paper. As I was handing it to him he jumped up and smacked a hand full of shit across my face...How will this affect Rick James?
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing