Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
My little Krummy Wummy
twitchquotes:
"THIS GAME IS FUCKIN GARBAGE!" Kurum yelled, voice cracking slightly in exasperation. "What's wrong Huney-Krum?" Soju called out from the kitchen. "I JUST WENT 5TH TO A FUCKIN BOT... and what the hell did you call me, bowl cut?" Kurum responded, still fuming. "Well, you told me if I called you 'My little Krummy Wummy' one more time you were gonna kick my ass..." Soju pouted, his head peeking around the kitchen door frame "Look, if you take a little break, I know where you can still be top 1..
twitch chat
Kurumx
Teamfight Tactics
Hey guys a little bit sick today
twitchquotes:
Hey guys a little bit sick today kinda tired cuz I didn't sleep well gonna be another short stream we're going to clear up some dallies on the free accounts first we'll do some arena later
Hey guys a little bit sick today kinda tired cuz I didn't sleep well gonna be another short stream we're going to clear up some dallies on the free accounts first we'll do some arena later
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Kripp
Kripp and Hafu
twitchquotes:
ＫＲＩＰＰ ＴＨＩＳ ＩＳ ＨＡＦＵ． ＹＯＵ ＡＲＥ ＩＮ ＴＲＯＵＢＬＥ ＭＩＳＴＥＲ． Ｙｏｕ ａｒｅ ｎｏｔ ｇａｙ！ Ｙｏｕ ｔａｌｋ ｔｏ ｍｅ ｏｎ ｔｈｅ ｐｈｏｎｅ ｅｖｅｒｙ ｎｉｇｈｔ， ａｎｄ ｗｈｏ ｃａｎ ｆｏｒｇｅｔ ｏｕｒ ｎｉｇｈｔｓ ｏｆ ｅｎｄｌｅｓｓ ｎｉｐｐｌｅ ｐｌａｙ？ Ｓｔｏｐ ｔｈｅ ｃｈａｒａｄｅ ａｎｄ ｃｏｍｅ ｂａｃｋ ｔｏ ｙｏｕｒ Ｈａｆｕ ｂａｂｙ． Ｐｌｚ ｎｏ ｃｏｐｙ ｐａｓｔｅｒｉｎｏ ｃｈｉｎｇ ｃｈｏｎｇ ｃｈａｎｇｅｒｉｎｏ ｎｏｏｄｌｅｒｉｎｏ ｂｏｋ ｃｈｏｙ ｋｕｎｇ ｐａｏｒｉｎｏ．
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Kripp
Lea pegging Reynad
twitchquotes:
ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ Google Pegging or RIOT ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ LEA PEGGING REYNAD OR RIOT ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ
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Reynad
Trolling My Office With Among Us (Part 3)
So I went into work and I started working. I decided to install Among Us to play, right? But my boss was walking by and said "Hey, why are you playing video games on the work computer?" I said that I was playing Among Us and asked him if he was uncultured. He told me to get out so I said "Quit being sus." And I did the funny imposter is sus grin you guys know? And I slapped his face and yelled "EMERGENCY MEETING!" Everybody in the office was looking at me like I just murdered several bosnian children. So I pulled out my dick and said "Look at this little spaceman!" I took off my pants and ran around the office with my dick flying around. The buff guy, Chad, was chasing me but I just got behind him and humped him. I said "good imposters get butt humps." He screamed and punched me. I ran out work not wanting to work with a bunch of REDDITORPHOBES.