[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Rick Astley paradox

twitchquotes: If you ask Rick Astley for a DVD of the movie Up, he won’t give it to you because he’s never gonna give you Up. However, by not giving you Up like you asked for it, he’s letting you down. This is known as the Astley paradox.
twitch chat
June 2020

Classic

Leave the competition to the the competitors

twitchquotes: WHY in the FUCK do you PLEBS roll in here and think you can backseat game the GREAT [insert streamer name]. He is a god who floats in your sea of wrong on his ship of right. His plays are FLAWLESS and every loss he takes is pure, unadultared, rng, bullshit. Get your tiny minds out of here and go watch something more casual!! Leave the competition to the the competitors. [insert streamer name] god has essential work to do.
twitch chat
April 2020

I need help typing

twitchquotes: i need help typing, im new to the americas and i dont know how to english very well can someone help me? pleasew stop spamming chat so i can learn please....without this i wont pass my english class iand ill get deported please...
twitch chat
November 2014
TidesOfTime

I keep seeing people posting the same message

twitchquotes: Guys this is awkward, sorry I have to point this out. I keep seeing people posting the same message within very short periods of time, causing the auto scroll function to go crazy. Could you please follow the chat history more closely before you post and make the chat experience more pleasant for everyone? Thanks :)
twitch chat
June 2019

Booba

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⢂⡉⠐⠀⢂⡁⠄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠀⡐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠐⠊⠩⠄⢒⡂⠠⠤⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡠⠂⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠐⠂⠤⡈⠀⠂⢄⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣱⡄⠀⠈⣦ ⠀⡀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿ ⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⠇⠀⠸⠋ ⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠠⠎⠒⠈⠀ ⢀⠀⠀⡀⠄⠢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠠⠄⠐⠀⠁⠀⢄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⢔⣬⣭⣁⠤⠤⠤⠀⠐⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡧⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⢿⣯⣿⢶⡶⣦⣴⣤⣤⣀⢠⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⣴⡛⠁⠀⠀ ⢤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⢿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣯⣭⣿⣿⣻⣟⣯⣽⡿⡟⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠙⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠁⠙⠋⠻⠿⠿⠿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⡸⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣀⠀⠀⠈⠐⠠⢂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠐⣂⣤⣤⣤⣄⣠⣔⣀⣤⣤⣤⣔⠁⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀
December 2020

Pepe

Text-to-Speech Playing