Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
GME bank consultation
Short story-time for amusement reasons only:
some days ago, I went to my bank (Austria). I am the owner of quite a number of GME shares and my broker app is actually just the bank-intern bond trading app, where I need to pay transactional feed everytime I buy (what is sell?) GME shares. I informed myself about the reasoning of those transactional fees beforehand and found out that by paying them, I have the right of consultation by my bank about the shares they‘re trading/I‘m buying.
So, I went to the main national building of my bank, they were really friendly at the beginning, enthustiatically, I mentioned GME to them and that I wish for professional consultation about the financial details involved with that stock (I am not a financial guy, actually, I don‘t exactly know what‘s going on, it‘s all pretty crazy to me).
Suddenly, their posture and mimick changed pretty suddenly. I was told, they are not allowed to consult about GME. To my question, why this was the case, they told me, because GME is „too irrelevant for the big stock market“. They are „aware of the past short squeeze, but one should no longer focus on GME“. They acted as if GME was some „childish financial playground“ that should be forgotten about. When I confronted them with the huge recent naked short attacks and if they could explain to me possible effects of them if they were not covered, they just repeated themselves how „GME is not relevant, please focus on stocks like Apple or Amazon to be safe“.
I left the bank, buying more GME shares.
WallStreetBets
Doublelift looks nervous as he hands over the money
twitchquotes:
Doublelift looks nervous as he hands over the money. "Is this enough?" he asks. Marc Merrill looks at him and laughs "QT is in for another soloQ special
twitch chat
imaqtpie
League of Legends
octavian will come in your room tonight
twitchquotes:
hello my name is octavian i died in a falafel accident 10 years ago unless you copy and paste this 10 times i will come in your room tonight and make you go 0-3 i look like a middle-aged salty vegan
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
Mr I'm too dank to call or write my fans
twitchquotes:
dear mr im too dank to call or write my fans. this is the last meme ill ever send your ass. its been 6 months and still no accept. i dont deserve it? i know you got my last two friend requests i wrote the memes on em perfect. i love you cutie, we culdve been together think about it
twitch chat
imaqtpie
Pirate ship
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