[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Play the greatest game of all time, Cookie Clicker

twitchquotes: Kripp, you are called casual all day everyday and I say it is time to stop. If you truly wish to play a mans game, Play the greatest game of all time, Cookie Clicker. Nothing is more hardcore and less p2w than the masterpiece that is cookie clicker. Play that on stream and never be called casual ever again.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Yoshi with Mario's body

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░▄▀▀▄▀▀▄░░░░░░ ░░░▄▄▄█▒░░▄░▄▒█░░░░░ ░░█▓▓▄█░░░▀░▀░█▄▄░░░ ▄▓█▀▒▒▀▄▄▄▀▄▀▒▒▒▀▄░ █▓▓█▒▒▒░░░▒▒▒▒▒▀▒▀▀▄ ▀██▒▒░░░░▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█ ░░▀▄█▄▒░░▀█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▀ ░░░█▄▀▒▒░░▄█▄▄▄▄▀▀░░ ▒▒▒▒▀█▄▄░░▀▀▀█▀▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▄▀▓▓▓▀██▀▀█▄▀▀▄▒▒ ▒▒█▓▓▄▀▀▀▄█▄▓▓▀█░█▒▒ ▒▒▀▄█░░░░░█▀▀▄▄▀█▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▄▀▀▄▄▄██▄▄█▀▓▓█▒▒ ▒▒█▀▓█████████▓▓▓█▒▒ ▒▒█▓▓██▀▀▀▒▒▒▀▄▄█▀▒▒ ▒▒▒▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
September 2018

agontfHi emote

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠛⣉⣥⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣤ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢋⣡⣤⣶⣶⣶⣷⣶⣶⣭⣽⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠟⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣠⡿⠋⣉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟ ⢸⣿⣦⣝⢿⣿⢏⣴⣿⣄⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⡦⢩⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠈⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢙⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⠟⢠ ⠸⣿⣿⣿⣧⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡈⠄⢀⣀⣀⣙⣛⣛⡛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢠⣿ ⡆⢿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠹⣿⣿⣿⣷⡸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣘⣵⣿⣿⢿⠹⣿⣿⡏⣼⣿ ⣧⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠈⠙⣿⣿⣿⣮⣭⣭⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣃⣼⣾⣿⣿⡇⢻⣿ ⣿⣧⠉⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠈⢿ ⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⢠⣿▄▄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⡻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄
March 2021
AgonTFT

Teamfight Tactics

peepoSad

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⢀⣠⡤⠤⢭⣛⡉⢀⡤⠴⠶⠶⡶⢆⣉⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠠⠞⠉⢀⣀⡤⣤⣤⣭⠭⣤⡤⣽⣿⢿⠿⠛⠛⠳⣌⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⠿⠛⠉⣡⠤⠭⠭⠷⡔⠚⠛⠉⠉⠉⢛⢛⢏⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠃⠘⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⠉⠁⢒⣒⣶⠶⡦⠒⠒⠒⠚⠓⠛⠉⡿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣟⠀⢉⣉⣠⣤⣤⢶⣒⣠⣭⣭⣭⣭⣉⡗⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡟⠀⠛⠿⠭⠶⠖⠛⠉⠀⠈⠁⠈⠉⠛⢣⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡏⣶⣦⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣜⠿⣿⣿ ⣿⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡝⣿
September 2020

Peepo

Pepe

Kripp and the Hardcore Police

twitchquotes: ༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽ Kripp, this is the hardcore police, it has come to our attention that you RIP in peace above the allowed average hardcore limit. We are here to inform you that your channel prefix must be changed into cl (casual-life) as a repercussion to better represent your current lifestyle. This will be the last warning. ༼ ▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ ̿ ༽ ᴊ
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing