Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
I'm honestly considering uninstalling PUBG on PC
twitchquotes:
(sponsored message) WOW! I love the way this game looks. The graphics are great and the framerate is perfect! I'm honestly considering uninstalling PUBG on PC and just moving over to mobile because this seems like the far superior product. Thank you Kripp for showing me this amazing new game.
twitch chat
Kripp
sellout
PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds
Paint me like one of your French grills.
twitchquotes:
∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ Paint me like one of your French grills.
twitch chat
Ready Hafu
twitch chat
Hafu
Bedge
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠋⠁⠀⢀⠠⢤⣤⡰⡈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⡠⠊⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⣫⡿⣿⣿⣿
⡻⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡆⠲⠾⠕⣪⠏⠀⢸⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠰⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡴⢊⠇⠉⠑⠻⠅⢀⠜⢹⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢨⠋⠭⠭⢅⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⣀⠔⠁⡠⠎⠹⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢦⣀⣉⠽⠟⠉⠀⢀⡠⠔⠊⢁⡤⠊⠀⠁⠀⡀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠁⢀⠤⠒⠢⢄⣀⣀⣀⣀⠤⠴⠒⠊⠁⣀⠤⠚⣡⣴⠟⠊⠄⠠⠐
⠀⠀⢀⠂⠀⠀⡇⠀⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡠⠴⠒⠉⣠⣴⡿⠋⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠆⠀⠀⠀⠳⣄⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⣀⣠⣴⡿⠛⠁⠀⡰⠆⠰⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠒⠒⠒⠒⣒⣿⣿⡿⠛⡉⠀⠀⢀⠎⠀⢰⣊⠀⠀⠀⠀
⣦⠈⠈⠂⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣶⣿⡿⠛⡡⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠇⠀⠀⠀⢡
⣿⣇⣆⠀⠧⠤⣭⣽⣶⣿⡿⢛⠁⠀⠀⠠⠀⠐⠃⠀⠀⠠⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸
⡿⣟⣿⣴⣾⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⢥⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣁⡤⠖⠀⠀⠀⠠⠠
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⡫⠕⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⢀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠶⠛⠉⠀⢀⠀⠊⠀⠀⠀
⣿⣿⡯⠓⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡤⠒⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Pepe
Trolling my whole class with Among Us Part 2
So yesterday at lunch, I was about to eat with my friends from band when I realized that there was an empty seat at a table with some of the popular kids. I decided to take advantage of this opportunity to troll them, and perhaps befriend some of them. I sat at their table, and right as I sat down, I noticed that one of the kids (who happened to be black) was sitting above a vent. I yelled "Black is sus! He's on top of a vent!!" Everyone at the table looked up at me, but no one laughed (they probably didn't get the reference). I decided that I would try to get them to be familiar with it, so I asked "Do to guys wanna play some Among Us???" They were all dead silent (honestly they just didn't know how fun of a game it was). I slapped the middle of our table (to mimick the "emergency meeting" feature in Among Us), and I screamed "EMERGENCY MEETING!!!" Again, none of them laughed. One of them looked at me and said "Can you please sit somewhere else?" At this point, I realized that I had to make them laugh quickly, or I would blow my chance with them. I made the widest grin I could possibly make (Trying to mimick the "When the imposter is sus" meme) and I said "When the impoter is sus". I then tried to make a face that resembled the "Flushed" emoji (as part of the meme). However, I don't think any of them understood the reference. I then pulled up the among us theme song on Youtube and played it on full blast. At this point, everyone at my table was asking for me to leave, and their friend came back, who regularly sat in the chair I was sitting in. I went back to sit with my friends from band. However, I will forever remember the time I trolled ALL of the popular kids in my grade.