Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
I used to be a real ad
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do u think that yoshi gets embarrassed (Shakespearean English)
Dost thou ponder if yoshi's constitution becomes discombobulated whence eggs are excreted afore Mario's gaze? My sincere apologies if thy bristles were tussled, however I believe this to be quite amusing. And, I am curious to perview a charcoal etching of this event, if only for a rousing chuckle. I'm also perplexed whence trying to place what eldritch odor would arise. This is only for a gaff, a ruse, merriment per se, I would like to smell them.
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Another extremely unjust loss
twitchquotes:
Once again, Kripp, you suffer another extremely unjust loss. I have no idea why you keep losing game after game, even though you possess superb drafting and world-class card game decision making skills. There's clearly something not right and I'm betting that someone at Blizzard may be a little jealous of you.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
Pecan ice and pecan butter
twitchquotes:
do yall remember those two little white boy in super smash bros brawl who would scream pecan ice and pecan butter or whatever it was they were yelling? I hated them so much they used to get me in so much trouble when I would stay up late and play nintendo because no matter how low the volume on the damn tv was my mom would hear their shill *** voices going PECAN ICE PECAN BUTTER from all the way down the hall in her room and tell me to go to bed I will never forgive them
twitch chat