[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

GUYS IM MEETING AMOGUS!

GUYS IM MEETING AMOGUS!!!! 😭😭📮📮❤️❤️❤️ IM SERIOUSLY NOT LYING!!! My mom is also the impostor and she says i can meet him as long as i sign papers saying i can’t expose who he is to other crewmates 😱😱 This is so epic I will be updating and IM NOT LYING IF YOU THINK IM LYING THEN LEAVE 🤬🤬 Should I ask to report my mom cause she is sus?
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Complaining about copypastas

twitchquotes: By complaining about copypastas you are just making it worse. Can't you see that? Every time you comment and complain about people posting the same comments each time just adds to the incentive for people who think they are funny to continue. I am willing to bet that this comment will turn into a *** copypasta at this point just because of how "funny" and "ironic" it would be to make a copypasta out of a comment complaining about copypastas.
twitch chat
March 2016

I hate Twitch Chat

Kripp drained Greece's entire supply of Oranges

twitchquotes: Kripp, its Stavros the Fruit Seller from the bazaar. I'm sorry to tell you but you've drained Greece's entire supply of Oranges. Because of the rioting on the streets we advise you to hide any OJ supply you might have left. We can now only sell you Olive Juice and the odd jar of Tzatziki. Please no gyro ouzo
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

I beat Kripp once, but my deck was insane

twitchquotes: I beat Kripp once, but my deck was insane, I topdecked the exact cards I needed for lethal, actually Kripp played it perfectly, there was nothing he could do, it was such a joke.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Too salty for table salt

twitchquotes: Kripp, when you have dinner with Reynad, do you even need table salt?
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing