[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

You have to concede... He has a wisp

twitchquotes: You have to concede... He has a wisp
twitch chat
March 2014
Hafu

Mods, can you please confirm that this was an original photo taken by OP

Mods, can you please confirm that this was an original photo taken by OP, otherwise this post should be removed as per subreddit policy. There is no further context provided here, how do we know that they didn't find this picture somewhere else? This directly affects our enjoyment of the post.
May 2022

Reddit

I Am Very Smart

PROCOL FOR LOSING IN ARENA

twitchquotes: PROTOCOL FOR LOSING IN ARENA: 1 - Blame deck. 2 - If deck is good, blame RNG. 3 - If deck is good and RNG goes your way, blame going second. 4 - If deck is good, RNG goes your way, and went first, blame opponent's crazy deck/RNG/opponent topdecking answers. 5 - If all else fails, blame snipers with wild decks.
twitch chat
April 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

A long long time ago, when Kripp was noLife

twitchquotes: A long long time ago, when Kripp was noLife, he stumbled across an old woman in an alleyway after buying some lentil soup. She told Kripp to give him the soup and in return he would find a beautiful girl. Unfortunately, Kripp didnt realize the old woman was the succubus Raina, who would eventually make him a simple casualarrians
twitch chat
November 2015
Kripp

Lazy gypsy man Kipparian

twitchquotes: Every days the lazy gypsy man Kipparian plays the game on computer when he make future wife Rania cook foods for him all day in kichen. Kripp stream can see Rania deliver food to him on Twich every day like slavery. Romani kripp must be stop rania is edcated woman who to good to be make food and babies for horrible gypsy man Kripparian all day. I be beg you all to help save good girl rania from life of barefeet in kichens.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing