[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high

twitchquotes: My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high. I've never actually taken an IQ test, mind you, but my educated guess is that, if I did, my score would be whatever is the highest possible. No doubt your IQ is lower than mine, but please don't feel stupid or insecure about this, it's not your fault. You're probably just born that way. And you know what? Thank your lucky stars and subpar genetic makeup that you don't have to bear the burden of brilliance like I have to. Being incredibly intelligent is a curse. This is not just one of the many astute observations I have every day, by the way, it is a fact recently confirmed by science.
twitch chat
January 2019

CTRL WTF for Fancy WTF

twitchquotes: PogChamp PogChamp HOLD CTRL AND TYPE "WTF" FOR ℱ𝓪𝓷𝓬𝔂 𝓦𝓣ℱ PogChamp PogChamp
twitch chat
April 2016

Classic

I am Pakistan

twitchquotes: ´ellu oddone. i am pakistan. i spek not so very best englend sorry. i like watch you pley. you bestest jungler in laegue of legend. i want become yuo pls tech me to pley . i want become bester pleyer pls oddone tech me
twitch chat
July 2014
TheOddOne

FeelsAYAYAMan

⣿⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢣⣿⣿⡿⣫⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄ ⣾⣿⡿⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⢿⣏⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄ ⣿⡿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠛⢱⣿⣿⣿⡟⡫⠾⢸⣧⠹⠊⢻⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⡝⣦ ⣿⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢕⣛⠇⣦⣍⠻⠫⠼⠓⣘⢸⡟⠸⣛⣓⡛⢿⣿⡇⣝⢿⣷⡈ ⠃⣿⣿⢟⣫⣶⣾⣿⣿⠘⠋⣡⢨⠉⠩⣭⣔⠘⠡⠝⢒⢠⠄⠘⡟⣷⢿⣯⢻⡇ ⡟⠟⡕⣛⣿⣭⣽⣶⣶⡑⢿⡇⠐⠈⠄⣸⠿⠾⠰⠿⣇⠄⠄⠁⢀⣿⠘⢻⠸⡇ ⢱⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⡳⠶⠶⠶⢖⣒⣚⣩⣾⣷⣶⣶⣶⣿⡟⠋⠄⠸⠁⠁ ⡸⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣛⣭⣾⣿⣿⣷⣮⣭⣭⣭⣭⡅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣷⢹⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⢸⡇⣿⣿⣿⡿⣩⣶⡶⢶⣶⣮⣭⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣣⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⢸⡇⣿⣿⣏⢧⡛⠿⠿⠷⠶⢶⣤⣭⣛⣛⠿⠿⠿⢟⣛⣛⣛⣛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣙⢸⢃⣿⣿⣿⣦⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⡭⠉⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣨⣒⠤⢬⣭⣝⣛⡻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣵⣶⣦⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021

Weebs

Pepe

Kripp, this is Lucky Sanders!

twitchquotes: Oh my god, Kripp, I've finally found you! This is Lucky Sanders! We served together in 'Nam, remember? I was the field medic in your squad! Man, I remember how you used to always volunteer to take out those Charlie sharpshooters even though I said I could handle them with my M60. "Never, Lucky," you would say. "You're too valuable to the squad." I saw you swim through stream after stream, leaving a trail of dead snipers behind you. Thank you, Kripp. You fought that war perfectly.
twitch chat
January 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing