Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
United Chat of Kripperica
twitchquotes:
Wᴇ, ᴛʜᴇ sᴘᴀᴍᴍᴇʀs ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴀᴛ, ɪɴ Oʀᴅᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ғᴏʀᴍ ᴀ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴘᴇʀғᴇᴄᴛ Dᴏɴɢᴇʀ, ᴇsᴛᴀʙʟɪsʜ sᴘᴀᴍ, ɪɴsᴜʀᴇ ɴᴏ ᴍɪssᴇᴅ ʟᴇᴛʜᴀʟ, ᴘʀᴏᴠɪᴅᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ OJ, ᴘʀᴏᴍᴏᴛᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ, ᴀɴᴅ sᴇᴄᴜʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ Bʟᴇssɪɴɢs ᴏғ ᴏᴜʀ ʟᴏʀᴅ ᴀɴᴅ sᴀᴠɪᴏʀ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴏᴜʀ ʏᴏᴜɴɢᴇʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs, ᴅᴏ ᴏʀᴅᴀɪɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇsᴛᴀʙʟɪsʜ ᴛʜɪs Kʀɪᴘᴘsᴛɪᴛᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ Uɴɪᴛᴇᴅ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ᴏғ Kʀɪᴘᴘᴇʀɪᴄᴀ
twitch chat
Kripp
Erobb Observation Log
twitchquotes:
Tuesday, May 4, 2021. Observation Log. Subject 2 2 1. The subject is still under the illusion he is a professional livestreamer. The NerdL initiative to get him to call his stream a broadcast has been deemed successful. There is still a substantially worrying problem. The subject will not stop fucking socks. End report.
twitch chat
erobb221
Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks
twitchquotes:
Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks. A SWAT team is on the way to your location. Make sure the door is open, otherwise they are ready to break it down. Don't destroy any evidence and don't contact your accomplices! Prepare disks, flash drives and any other multimedia devices containing illegal materials, proving your criminality. Be prepared to answer the questions during your interrogation! Cooperate and don't deny the charges against you.
twitch chat
Mods are the true evil
twitchquotes:
As a Pleb, I understand and, indeed, respect the social order. But I believe Subs and Plebs must work together and realize Mods are the true evil in this world. With the power of SPAM we will show the Mods their true place in the hierarchy: crushed beneath 
s and 
s
s and s
twitch chat
Trick2g
plebs vs subs
My kids were listening to Lil Nas X
My kids were listening to old town road by Lil Nas X and one of my kids asked me doesn’t he worship satan? Thinking face I said yes son sadly he does. I had to turn on No role modelz by J Cole to cheer him up My kids idolize someone better now! Thank you J Cole you’re a life saver!