Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Liberty Mutual Auto Insurance
twitchquotes:
🚶You owned a car 🚗🚗 for 4⏰📅 years⏰👍. You🚶 named it👱 Brad👱. You💑❤💗 loved💕Brad💕😙. And then you🚶⚠ totaled⚠🚧🚗🚙 him🚦. You two 💏💑had been through everything 👬together🎭. 👬2 boyfriends👬, 🔨🔧3 jobs🔫,❌ nothing ❌could replace👱 Brad🍆🍆. Then Liberty Mutual📞📞📞 calls, and you break into your 😊happy😊 💃dance💃💃🍆.
twitch chat
PepeHands
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⢠⠤⠖⠒⠒⠲⢬⣇⣀⠤⠠⢄⣀⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡯⠁⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⡶⠖⠲⠾⣢⡠⣴⡲⠶⠶⣶⣝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢞⣛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡿⢶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⠿⠷⢶⡶⠶⠶⠟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⢠⠴⠞⠋⠀⠐⠲⠼⣷⠖⠲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⢻⣿⣿⡿⢃⢰⡍⠝⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⣵⣖⣓⡲⠦⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣨⡥⢆⣏⢨⠻⡘⣆⣷⡸⣸
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⢄⡈⠉⠉⠉⠙⠒⢂⡄⡀⠀⡄⠶⠶⠶⣂⡿⢻⢸⣷⣾⣿⢟⣵⣿
⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢦⡀⢸⣤⣇⢠⡇⢰⠐⣿⡟⢰⣿⣿⠟⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣙⠻⢿⢿⣿⠖⢫⣾⣿⣷⢸⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⡆⣿⣦⡙⢿⣿⣏⣿⣿⣷⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣎⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⢁⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⣿⢻⣿⣿⡇⢿⣿⣿⣿
⡝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣜⢿⣿⣿⡿⢰⣿⣿⣿⢘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⡇⣾⣿⣿⣿
⣿⡌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡙⢿⢣⣿⣿⣿⡏⣼⣧⣌⠻⢿⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⣿⣿⣿⣿
Pepe
NA at worlds
twitchquotes:
No matter how many imports I choose I still continue to lose and then I make an excuse you guessed it right I'm from NA my screen is always grey when at worlds I play
No matter how many imports I choose I still continue to lose and then I make an excuse you guessed it right I'm from NA my screen is always grey when at worlds I play
twitch chat
League of Legends
EU vs NA
Where i grew up copy pasta was taken seriously
twitchquotes:
Dear Twitch Chat users. Do u think its funny to copy pasta everything you see? Copy that, pasta that. Where i grew up copy pasta was taken seriously, and when i come here my mind explodes. Please, respect copy pasta. For me, it's about religion.
twitch chat
imaqtpie
My 86-year-old grandmother replied "OK, boomer" to my boomer aunt in an argument
Backstory: I live round the corner from my gran and visit her often so thanks to me she has a vague grasp of what memes are and how they work. The other day when I was round at hers and she asked what memes were popular at the moment so I told her about the "OK boomer" meme. She knew what boomers were already so she was able to get the concept of this meme fairly easily.
Fast forward to today, I'm over at my gran's again, and she's on the phone to my aunt. They got into a disagreement over a slightly racist comment my aunt made the other day (my gran is very much against racism) and my gran eventually just said "OK boomer" and hung up.
I've never been so proud.
UPDATE: So I told my gran about this post and the reaction it got - she said she's glad that so many of you enjoyed her little joke and that it proves she's still young at heart. I agree with that 100%.