Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Gotta hit up the bathroom V2
twitchquotes:
"Give me a second guys," Kripp says. "Gotta hit up the bathroom". He turns down the volume on his microphone, and immediately gives Dex a blank stare. As Dex yips, Kripp stands up out of his chair, saying "This game is ok." at a medium volume. Rania continues streaming, and Kripp walks past her on the way to the bathroom. After taking a few breaths, Kripp walks back to his desk, sits back down at his computer, and resumes his stream.
twitch chat
Kripp
Meanwhile in Kripp's mouth
twitchquotes:
Meanwhile in Kripp's mouth ~• ~• ~• ~• ~• ~• ~• ~• ~• ~• ~• ~• ~• ~• ~• ~• ~• ~• ~• ~• ~• ~•
twitch chat
Kripp
A baby to listen to every night
twitchquotes:
I sleep with your stream on every night. I used to be married, you know? She left because she can't stand your voice. I chose you. I'll always choose you, because if I can't have kids with the love of my life, at least I'll have a baby to listen to every night. 
twitch chat
Solo is one of my favorite Star Wars movies
twitchquotes:
Action-packed, fast-paced while exploring deeper themes of oppression, power, and values... what's not to love?! Solo is personally one of my favorite Star Wars movies. Plenty of throwbacks to the old films while offering some foreshadowing. [$0.25 deposited in your PayPal™. Remember to delete this part before posting]
twitch chat
sellout
Big Chungus v2
🟫🟫🟩🟩🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
🟫🟫🟫🟩🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
🟫🟫🟫🟩🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
🟫🟫🟩🟩🟩🟫🟫🟫🟫🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟫🟫🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
🈯🈯🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
🈯🈯🈯🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🗻🟩🟩🗻🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🈯
🟫🈯🈯🟩🟩🟩🈯🗻🟧🈯🗻🟧🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🈯🈯
🟫🟫🟩🟩🟩🈯🈯🗻🟧🈯🗻🟧🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🈯🈯🈯🈯
🟫🟫🟫🈯🈯🈯🈯🗻🟧🈯🗻🟧🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🈯🈯🈯🈯
🟫🟫🟫🟫🈯🈯🈯🗻🗻🗻🗻🗻🈯🈯🈯🟩🟩🈯🈯🈯🈯
🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🗻🗻🗻🗻🗻🗻🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯
🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🗻🗻⚪🗻⚪🗻🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯
🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯
🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🗻⬜🟥⚪⬜⬜🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯
🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🗻🗻⬜⬜🟥⬜🗻🗻🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯
🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🗻🗻🗻⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜🗻🗻🗻🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯
🈯🈯🈯🗻🗻🗻🗻⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜🗻🗻🗻🈯🈯🈯🈯
🈯🈯🗻🗻🗻🗻⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜🗻🗻🗻🈯🈯🈯
🈯🈯⚪⚪🗻🗻⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⚪⚪⚪⚪🈯🈯
🈯🈯⚪⚪🗻⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⚪⚪🈯🈯🈯
🈯🈯🈯🗻🗻⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯
🈯🈯🈯🗻🗻🗻⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯
🈯🈯🈯🈯🗻🗻⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯
🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🗻🗻⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯
🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🗻🗻⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯
🈯🈯🈯⬜⬜🗻🗻🗻🗻🗻🗻⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯
🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯
🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯
🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯
🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯
🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯
🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯
🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯