Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
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More Copypastas
Best Polish one arm player
twitchquotes:
i, my name Andrzej Waclawski, I'm Polish war veteran. In war of world 2 I lose right arm, never to grow back. My dream of become rank one superstar Polish Cardstone player make shattered forever. I like to get tip from the Kripp how I can become best Polish one arm player. Please no copytovski pasterovski
twitch chat
Kripp
Bender
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In the Realm of the Saltiverse
twitchquotes:
In the Realm of the Saltiverse, a young Saltkeeper named Kripparrian was chosen to free his people from their ancient enemy, the Mods. Using the magical power of Copy and Paste, Kripparrian sacrificed his salt force to banish the mods to Trump's chat. However, in doing so, Kripparian paid the ultimate sacrifice and became Casual. Please copy pasterino this talerino, so we do not forgetterino the legenderino of the Saltkeeperio Kripperino.
twitch chat
Kripp
MODS
salty
Kripparrian is NEVER lucky?
twitchquotes:
(•⌣•) Daddy, is it true as the legend says. That Kripparrian is NEVER lucky? ( ͡°╭͜ʖ╮͡° ) Yes little dong. The legend holds true even to this day.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
neverlucky
what is a fortnight?
twitchquotes:
Hello I’m Jeff a father of a 12 year old boy one day my son asked me to get a free game called fortnight at first I was ok with me but his intelligence started to slowly disappear after two months and now he is calling me a default and doing satanic movements around the house please send help
twitch chat