[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
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Spamming is my passion

twitchquotes: Dᴇᴀʀ ɴᴀᴢɪ ᴍᴏᴅs: Yᴏᴜ ᴍᴀʏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴀɴɴᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ ғᴏʀ 10 ᴍɪɴᴜᴛᴇs, ʙᴜᴛ sʜɪᴛᴘᴏsᴛɪɴɢ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ғɪɴᴅ ᴀ ᴡᴀʏ. I ᴡɪʟʟ ʀᴀɪsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs. I ᴡɪʟʟ ʟɪᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʜᴏᴡ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ғᴀᴄᴇs. I ᴡɪʟʟ RIP ɪɴ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀᴏɴɴɪ ᴄᴀᴘᴘᴜᴄᴄɪɴᴏ ᴘɪsᴛᴀᴄʜɪᴏ. Sᴏ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴡᴀsᴛᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʙᴀɴɴɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ, ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ sᴘᴀᴍᴍɪɴɢ ɪs ᴍʏ ᴘᴀssɪᴏɴ, AND I WILL COME BACK! Pʟs ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘʏ ɴᴀᴢɪʀɪɴᴏ ᴍᴏᴅᴇʀɪɴᴏ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

GlitchCat

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⠉⡙⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠤⣚⡯⠴⢬⣱⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡇⣷⡌⢲⣄⡑⢢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠾⢋⠔⣨⣴⣿⣷⡌⠇⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢹⣿⣿⣄⢻⣿⣷⣝⠷⢤⣤⣤⡶⢋⣴⣑⠟⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⡀⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢸⣿⡄⢁⣸⣿⣋⣥⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣶⣟⡁⠚⣿⣿⡇⡇⠀ ⢀⣠⡤⠤⠾⡘⠋⢀⣘⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⢭⣭⣭⣭⣍⠉⢩⣭⠉⠉⠂⠙⠛⠃⣇⡀ ⠏⠀⠀⢿⣿⣷⡀⠀⢿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⢿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢱ ⣦⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣧⠀⠘⣿⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⢻⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⢻⡄⠀⠀⠘⠛⠉⠂⠀⠙⠁⠀⣼⣧⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠈⠙⠀⠘⠓⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡟ ⠀⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⣏⠀ ⠀⠀⠛⢶⢰⣶⢢⣤⣤⣄⠲⣶⠖⠀⣙⣀⠀⠀⠀⠤⢤⣀⣀⡀⣀⣠⣾⠟⡌⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠘⢄⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⠀⠾⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⠸⠟⣡⣤⡳⢦ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⡆⣙⡿⢷⣾⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢡⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣦ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⢁⡟⣫⣶⣍⡙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⣽⡖⣉⣠⣶⣶⣌⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⢡⢎⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⢠⠖⢁⣴⡿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢹⣿⣿
October 2021

I dropped my notes

twitchquotes: ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ OOOPS I dropped my notes ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Any advice, Dad?

twitchquotes: Kʀɪᴘᴘ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs Tʏʀᴏɴᴇ, ᴜʀ sᴏɴ. Mʏ ᴍᴏᴍ, Lᴀǫᴜɪsʜᴀ, ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴍᴇ. I ᴊᴜsᴛ ɢᴏᴛ ᴋɪᴄᴋᴇᴅ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ Cᴀɴᴀᴅɪᴀɴ ᴇʟᴇᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʀʏ sᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ғᴏʀ sᴀʏɪɴɢ "F*ᴄᴋ" ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴜ. Oʀ ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀs ғᴏʀ ʏᴇʟʟɪɴɢ "RIP" ᴡʜɪʟᴇ ᴘᴜɴᴄʜɪɴɢ ᴀ ᴋɪᴅ...ᴀɴʏ ᴀᴅᴠɪᴄᴇ, Dᴀᴅ?
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
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