[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I can’t escape Fortnite

twitchquotes: I can’t escape Fortnite. I was on an airplane half an hour ago and through my headphones I heard some guy ask, “Do you play Fortnite?”. At first I couldn’t process the words, but I understood after he reiterated. “Dude, do you play Fortnite?” Then I heard someone respond behind me. “Fortnite?” Then another. “Yeah, that game.” I couldn’t shut them out before the cabin erupted into a chorus of Fortnite conversations. I felt like I was being suffocated. The man previously sleeping beside me woke up suddenly and contributed with “where we droppin' boys?”. The crying kid across the aisle stopped kicking and screaming just to say “Tilted Towers!”
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

Monkey D. Luffy

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠤⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡲⢋⠝⠋⣛⣳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠓⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⠠⣴⠗⢀⠥⠂⢁⠤⠤⠤⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣛⠛⠉⠗⠒⠲⢤⣀⠀ ⠰⠃⠐⠀⠋⡠⠀⠮⠤⠤⠤⠤⡤⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣽⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡆ ⠀⠜⠀⠀⠈⠀⢠⣤⣔⣒⡒⠒⠂⠁⠀⡀⢀⣀⣤⣶⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡼⠀ ⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⢄⡴⠋⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⡊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡠⠐⠉⢸⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⡻⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠁⠀⠀⣿⢹⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣙⠋⠴⠛⣿⢛⡿⠬⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠘⠹⣿⣿⠛⠛⠛⢿⡇⠀⠉⠀⠘⠉⢰⣯⡊⠙⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠱⡄⠀⠀⠘⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠛⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⢲⣄⠀⠒⠂⠀⣀⢴⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣈⠀⢻⣿⣶⣴⣾⡟⢸⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⡎⠀⢀⣠⡤⠂⢠⠈⢿⣿⡿⣿⠃⠀⠙⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠙⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠉⠉⢇⠀⠈⡇⠘⣏⠀⡿⡰⠀⠀⢀⠛⠛⠻⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠉⠉⠉⠗⠒⢿⡀⠸⡈⣠⠧⠞⠉⡏⠉⠉⠉⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2022

One Piece

I'm gay for SpongeBob SquarePants

August 2021

Spongebob

NSFW

if you copy this message im reporting you

twitchquotes: wow, i log on to twitch tv to chat with people and to watch a good streamer, then you guys fking spam this chat with your dumb kappas and dumb sht memes that are not even close to funny. i dont even giggle from your shtty jokes. fk you and if you fking copy this message im reporting each one of you. you all think your fking funny
twitch chat
March 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

salty

At least you lasted longer than NA at worlds

twitchquotes: Eeeyoo I had the most amazing sex with this girl last night. It was so good I came in 15 seconds and as I turned to look at her out of embarrassment, she put her lips to my ear and whispered "at least you lasted longer than NA at worlds" 4Head
twitch chat
October 2015

Classic

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Text-to-Speech Playing