[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Don't Care Ratio

dont care + didnt ask + cry about it + stay mad + get real + L + mald seethe cope harder + h0es mad + basic + skill issue + ratio + you fell off + the audacity + triggered + any askers + redpilled + get a life + ok and? + cringe + touch grass + donowalled + not based + your’re probably white + not funny didn’t laugh + you’re* + grammar issue + go outside + get good + reported + ad hominem + GG! + ur momdon’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + stay mad + get real + L + mald seethe cope harder + hoes mad + basic + skill issue + ratio + you fell off + the audacity + triggered + any askers + redpilled + get a life + ok and? + cringe + touch grass + donowalled + not based + your’re a full time discordian + not funny didn’t laugh + you’re* + grammar issue + go outside + get good + your gay + reported + ad hominem + GG! + ur mom + unknown + random + biased + racially motivated + kys + ur unfunny +ratio don’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + stay mad + get real + L + mald seethe copedon’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + stay mad + get real + L + mald seethe cope harder + h0es mad + basic + skill issue + ratio + you fell off + the audacity + triggered + any askers + redpilled + get a life + ok and? + cringe + touch grass + donowalled + not based + your’re probably white + not funny didn’t laugh + you’re* + grammar issue + go outside + get good + reported + ad hominem + GG! + ur momdon’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + stay mad + get real + L + mald seethe cope harder + hoes mad + basic + skill issue + ratio + you fell off + the audacity + triggered + any askers + redpilled + get a life + ok and? + cringe + touch grass + donowalled + not based + your’re a full time discordian + not funny didn’t laugh + you’re* + grammar issue + go outside + get good + your gay + reported + ad hominem + GG! + ur mom + unknown + random + biased + racially motivated + kys + ur unfunny +ratio don’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + stay mad + get real + so bad + so ass
May 2022

Ratio

Who Asked?

MLK Fortnite event helped my little brother stop his racism

My little brother (10) has always been one for those toxic semi racist squeakers you’d find on Xbox lobby’s. I’ve walked in on him saying the n word to people in squads and heard him say the word when in a fit of rage. I’ve tried to tell him that’s hurtful and not acceptable at all but he doesn’t listen to me and insists he isn’t racist and that he’s just saying it because he’s angry. I’ve told my parents and they say the same thing, but they never enforce punishment because he is doing excellent in school due to the incentive of using his Xbox. Then the mlk event happened and it allowed him to see the history of segregation this country has had. It allowed me to show him the history of the words he used and how they were used to demean African Americans. He promised me he wouldn’t say it again Thank you epic, while most say the event was tone deaf, it really helped me teach my brother a lesson.
September 2021

Fortnite

HEY CHAT LETS OVERUSE monkaS

twitchquotes: monkaS HEY CHAT LETS OVERUSE monkaS HEY CHAT LETS OVERUSE monkaS HEY CHAT LETS OVERUSE monkaS
twitch chat
February 2017

This the leader of all Greek people, John Stamos

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is the leader of all Greek people, John Stamos. It is with great pain that I have to ask you to leave my country. Everyone is afraid of the "very casual looking man" with the "perverted fists." I am sorry but you're not welcome here anymore. No Copopolous Pastopolous Linguinoristopoulos
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

I don’t know what Overwatch is

twitchquotes: I don’t know what Overwatch is. There’s a gorilla and some lesbians and guns but yall never play the gorilla I don’t know. And then sometimes if that wasn’t bad enough sometimes you go and just invent new Overwatches. Like just when I’m getting a handle on what “Junkrat kin discourse” is yall show up with “This is my new OC her name is Grandma Sniper” and then SHE’S part of the Overwatchers. “This is Swedish Beefcake” could yall? not?? I still don’t know what a Hanzo is.
twitch chat
April 2021

Overwatch

Text-to-Speech Playing