[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Alester Crowley

⡕⡧⡏⣞⢵⡣⣳⣕⢞⢮⡺⣕⡳⣵⣫⢷⠋⣠⣤⣂⠬⡓⢬⠢⣣⣿⢫⣶⡽⣿⡡⣋⢞⡡⣚⠤⠂⣀⠉⠚⡮⣳⣱⢭⡫⣫⡺⣜⢎⡞⡼⡽⡽⣝⠮ ⣣⢯⣺⡪⡷⣝⢮⢞⡽⣕⢯⣺⢮⠗⠋⠄⢀⢐⣒⡨⠝⣚⢵⣹⡾⣱⣟⣟⡾⡞⣿⣵⣝⠪⢔⡚⠭⠅⠄⠄⠈⠓⣗⣗⡽⣕⡕⡗⡵⡝⡮⣫⢯⢷⢹ ⡯⣳⢵⢽⢝⣮⢯⢯⣞⣷⡿⠞⡁⠅⠐⡀⠂⠄⠤⠭⠭⠥⣽⢟⣼⡭⣭⡭⡽⣽⣮⢿⣮⡙⣒⣒⡛⠠⠈⡀⠂⡀⠄⠳⣯⢶⡹⣪⡪⣎⢯⢾⢽⣝⢜ ⡯⣯⣫⢯⣻⡼⣯⣟⣷⠛⡁⢂⠠⠈⢀⠄⠄⠂⠨⠭⢍⣽⣫⣾⣿⣿⣗⡽⣿⣞⣾⢷⡹⣯⡁⣒⠂⠐⢀⠂⠄⢂⢁⠄⡈⠻⣞⣧⢳⡣⣏⣯⣟⢮⡳ ⡯⣺⣪⢗⣗⣿⣻⠏⡁⠢⠐⠐⠠⢑⠡⠨⠐⠠⢚⣩⣿⣳⣻⣿⣽⣭⣯⣭⣧⣷⣟⣟⣟⣽⣷⡲⢬⠈⠄⠎⠨⠠⡠⢈⠄⠄⠈⠹⡷⣝⣞⣾⢽⣳⢕ ⣟⣞⢾⢽⣾⡿⠋⠐⠈⠄⢁⢐⠅⡣⠁⠡⠐⣈⡵⢋⠝⣩⢏⣚⡜⣜⣆⢽⢪⣎⢞⣌⢏⢯⠹⡻⣐⠊⠐⡈⠄⡁⠄⠂⠡⠈⠄⠄⠈⠻⣳⣿⣻⡽⣕ ⡵⣳⣟⣿⡽⠁⠈⠄⢄⠪⡐⢌⢊⡐⢌⠂⠜⡋⠄⠅⠊⡁⡁⠋⠎⣾⢸⢸⣸⢸⡌⠎⢃⠁⡓⠉⡊⠛⢆⢂⠃⠅⠡⠨⡐⠠⠐⠄⠄⠄⠙⢯⣷⣻⣜ ⣯⣻⣾⠏⠄⠄⡄⠕⢌⠊⡔⡢⠡⡊⠔⡡⠑⠌⠌⠌⠂⠐⠄⠁⠂⠁⠏⢺⠎⠊⠁⠐⠄⠂⠄⠡⠄⢑⠐⠠⠑⡁⠅⠨⠠⠁⠂⡀⠂⠄⠠⠈⢻⡷⣕ ⡷⣿⠃⠄⠄⠌⠄⡁⡂⠌⠂⠊⠈⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⢀⢀⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠈⠄⡀⠐⠄⢀⠁⠠⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠂⠠⠐⠄⠻⡵ ⣿⠇⠄⠄⡈⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣄⣖⣾⣾⣾⣾⣯⣷⣟⣾⣷⣷⣽⣼⢌⢆⢄⠂⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡻ ⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣤⣤⣠⣶⣶⡀⣀⣀⠄⢀⠮⡾⣫⣙⠙⠛⠻⢻⢿⠿⡻⣟⡟⠝⠜⠕⠉⠂⠅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣄⣠⣶⣦⣀⡀⠄⢀⣴⡴⣝ ⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣺⣿⣿⡧⣿⣿⣷⣲⣵⡝⠉⢀⠁⠄⡀⠄⠈⣰⡬⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⡁⠑⠄⠄⢠⠆⣛⣉⣿⣿⣷⢺⣿⣿⡆⢿⣿⣿⢿⣝⢴ ⣿⡰⣶⡀⣀⣤⣼⣿⣿⡿⣾⣿⣿⣻⣻⣿⣟⢿⣿⣻⠘⣟⠧⠔⢗⢔⣗⣽⣿⠄⠄⠄⠧⠰⠋⠄⣤⣷⣵⣽⣯⣯⢿⣯⢟⡾⣿⣿⡃⢸⣟⡿⣏⠮⢘ ⣟⡏⣾⣇⢹⣿⣿⠽⢿⢿⢿⣟⡟⠷⠙⢝⠐⠅⢸⢨⠄⠘⢜⣘⣴⢿⢕⣿⣿⠅⠄⡇⡅⡃⡆⣰⣟⡗⡯⡫⡳⣻⠿⢙⠹⡽⡿⡓⠁⢺⣳⡟⣾⡧⢘ ⡯⡪⠾⡷⢨⣛⣷⢑⠡⡁⡙⡁⡂⡂⡈⡆⢕⠅⢪⠢⡁⡂⢙⣿⢏⢊⣗⣽⣿⡏⠄⠈⣿⠮⠄⣷⡳⣝⡞⡮⡣⣣⢱⠄⠅⠉⠄⠄⠄⠘⢋⢵⡿⡋⢂ ⣟⡦⣄⠈⢳⢫⢷⢱⢑⠌⡂⠐⠄⡑⡐⡘⠨⢈⠢⡑⡁⡂⠐⣝⠅⣴⡁⠙⠋⠄⠄⢀⠪⡑⠄⣿⣟⢎⢾⢙⢜⢅⢑⠄⠂⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⠪⠃⢁⣔⢮ ⣪⢾⡽⡗⠄⠉⠊⠂⠌⠨⠄⠈⡐⡐⡀⢆⠑⢄⢁⠂⠄⠄⢈⢮⣺⡺⣿⣗⢤⠠⠐⠄⢌⢂⠄⢻⣝⢎⢎⢌⠢⡑⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠠⠈⠘⢗⣕ ⣣⡷⠋⠄⠄⠠⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⢔⢄⢄⢣⢑⠄⡢⣪⠪⡠⠁⢰⢻⠘⠘⡙⠉⠚⠉⠄⠐⠈⠠⠄⢸⣪⡷⣕⢔⠕⢌⠄⢀⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠈⢲ ⡗⠃⠄⠐⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡱⣳⣗⣵⣵⣿⣮⡧⠣⠄⠊⡆⡮⢯⠛⠙⠉⠙⠈⠄⠐⠄⠄⢰⡳⡻⣟⢼⢜⢔⢕⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠐⠈⠄⠄ ⠁⠄⠠⠁⢈⠄⠄⠂⢀⠠⠄⢸⣿⣿⣽⣿⣯⣿⣿⢇⢯⡂⠄⡣⣪⣾⣼⣾⣿⢶⣒⠤⡁⠄⠄⣽⣯⢯⢯⣳⢝⡕⡇⡕⡠⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠂⠄⠠⠄⠄
February 2021

-15 LP Delivery

──────▄▌▐▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▌ ───▄▄██▌█ BEEP BEEP ▄▄▄▌▐██▌█ -15 LP DELIVERY ███████▌█▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▌ ▀(⊙)▀▀▀▀▀▀▀(⊙)(⊙)▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀(⊙
July 2022

Teamfight Tactics

League of Legends

Ninja Assassins is not fun or interactive

twitchquotes: Ninja Assassins created a strategy that revolved around trying to defeat your opponent in one crit without requiring any battles on the board. Fighting for board control and battles between minions make an overall game of Teamfight Tactics more fun and compelling, but taking 20000+ damage in one Zed crit is not particularly fun or interactive.
twitch chat
July 2019

Teamfight Tactics

Ahegao

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣤⣶⣶⣶⣤⣄⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡀⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣜⠿⠿⣿⣿⣧⢓ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡠⢛⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣽⣋⠻⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡻⣧⡠⣭⣭⣿⡧ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⡟⣿⢻⠃⣻⣨⣻⠿⡀⣝⡿⣿⣿⣷⣜⣜⢿⣝⡿⡻⢔ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡟⣷⢿⢈⣚⣓⡡⣻⣿⣶⣬⣛⣓⣉⡻⢿⣎⠢⠻⣴⡾⠫ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠃⢹⡼⢸⣿⣿⣿⣦⣹⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠷⣎⡼⠆⣿⠵⣫ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠸⡟⡜⣩⡄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⢀⢀⣿⣷⣿⣿⡐⡇⡄⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⢶⢻⣧⣖⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣇⡟⣇⣷⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣆⣤⣽⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣦⣴⡇⣿⢨⣾⣿⢹⢸ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⠊⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣫⢱⢺⡇⡏⣿⣿⣸⡼ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡿⠄⣿⣷⣾⡍⣭⣶⣿⣿⡌⣼⣹⢱⠹⣿⣇⣧ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⠁⣤⣭⣭⡌⢁⣼⣿⣿⣿⢹⡇⣭⣤⣶⣤⡝⡼ ⠄⣀⠤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡏⣈⡻⡿⠃⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⡼⠁⣿⣿⣿⡿⢷⢸ ⢰⣷⡧⡢⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⢠⡛⠿⠄⠠⠬⠿⣿⠭⠭⢱⣇⣀⣭⡅⠶⣾⣷⣶ ⠈⢿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡛⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠃⠄⠄⡜⠄⠄⣤⢀⣶⣮⡍⣴ ⠄⠈⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⢩⣝⠃⠄⠄⢀⡄⡎⠄⠄⠄⠇⠄⠄⠅⣴⣶⣶⠄⣶
January 2021

Weebs

LETS THINK OF A NEW CHAMPION

twitchquotes: 4Head WELCOME RIOTERS 4Head LETS THINK OF A NEW CHAMPION 4Head SHE SHOULD ONE SHOT YOU FROM A SCREEN AND A HALF AWAY 4Head GETS FREE SUMMONERS 4Head AND CROWD CONTROL 4Head SOUNDS GOOD 4Head
twitch chat
August 2018
Riot Games

League of Legends

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