[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

You didn't ask? (response to Who Asked?)

You didn't ask? That's amazing, are you a dictator? A god? The most important person in the world? No? Then why would you say that like it matters? "I come out as a homosexual, this is really hard for me and I hope you respect that." "Did I ask?" no, you did not ask, we couldn't care less if you asked, you are nothing compared to the universe. Do you think your opinion holds a higher meaning than anyone else's? You could've said anything, something creative, even an ok or you not saying a word would be better than the phrase "Did I ask?" we get it, you never asked, but did anyone ask about you asking? Even if you said that you traveled the world to find out who asked, who asked you to do that? You didn't ask for their opinion, but nobody asked if you care at all. You aren't creative or smart. Even a caveman grunts and ooga boogas would be better than that phrase. Now stop pretending to be a god and go back to school to learn how to respect people
November 2021

Who Asked?

I hate Moonmoon_ow's chat so much

twitchquotes: I hate Moonmoon_ow's chat so much. All they do is spam a stupid copy pasta or some other moronic emote and circlejerk with each other. Why can't they do something productive with their lives? I tell everyone on Reddit about this and they all agree that Twitch Chat is ridiculous and stupid. And they all hope that they get Moonmoon_ow's attention by spamming, rather than having intelligent discussions with others and the streamer, I'm going back to Reddit.
twitch chat
June 2017
MOONMOON

NOT EVERYONE CAN WEAR HAT

twitchquotes: PartyHat NOT EVERYONE IN THE CHAT CAN WEAR HAT FeelsGoodMan
twitch chat
November 2019

Gi-Hun Squid Game Stare

➖➖⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ➖⬛⬛⬛🏼🏼⬛⬛ ➖⬛⬛⬛🏼🏼🏼⬛ ➖⬛🏼🔳🏼🔳🏼⬛ ➖➖🏼🏼🏼🏼🏼 ➖➖🏼🏽🏽🏽🏼 ➖⬜🟦🏼🏼🏼🟦⬜ ⬜🟦🟦🟦🏽🟦🟦🟦⬜ 🟦🟦🟦🟦⬜🟦🟦🟦🟦
November 2021

Squid Game

Dear Kripp, This is Twitch CEO Dick McPeenballs

twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing