Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
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Titsa me, Mario!
"Your roadhog is insane." Seagull said
twitchquotes:
"Your roadhog is insane." Seagull said, as he slipped his feminine hand into Moon's pants and smirked. "Are you trying to insert your payload?" protests Moon, as Seagull blushes, the boyish figure undressed before Moon. "Weak tank play, Moon." The two kissed, deeply and passionately, and afterwards Seagull charges like Reinhardt through Moon’s symmetra portal.
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MOONMOON
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Kripp reviews a card
twitchquotes:
☐ I got the beast in my sights ☐ Hoot hoot ☐ That belongs in a museum ☐ Let me change your mind ☑ I looked at this card originally, and I thought, you know, it’s a card, and you play this card. The card will be that card that you’ve played, so you’re playing a card. So it is one thing to play a card if your opponent doesn’t really have any cards. The card will screw up the card pretty hard, and that means it’s a pretty good card.
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I once knew this man. He was from the ocean
twitchquotes:
I once knew this man. He was from the ocean. He did very Ocean-y things. He took me by the hand to take me to the land that you understand. He was the crust of a tan man imbibed by the sand, Soaking up the thirst of the land. Soaking up the thirst of the land. His Shin was in the shape of an "O". Don't know what to call him though...any ideas?
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Lightning McQueen (Cars)
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣉⣁⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣶⡄⢲⣯⢍⠁⠄⢀⢹⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢯⣾⣿⣿⣏⣉⣹⠿⠇⠄⠽⠿⢷⡈⠿⠇⣀⣻⣿⡿⣻
⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⢛⡃⢉⢣⡤⠤⢄⡶⠂⠄⠐⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡦⣿⡿⠛⡇⣼
⡿⢫⣤⣦⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠺⠿⠙⠋⠄⠄⠄⠢⢄⠄⢿⠇⠂⠧⣿
⠁⠄⠈⠁⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⡤⠴⠖⠒⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢠⡞⠄⣸
⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠤⠭⠦⠤⠤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣂⣿
⣷⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢳⠄⠄⢀⠈⣠⣤⣤⣼⣿
⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣄⡀⠄⠈⠑⢙⣡⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿