[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Navy Seals Copypasta in Yoda Language

You just fucking say about me what the fuck did, you little bitch? Graduated top of my class in the navy seals I have, and involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Qaeda I've been, over 300 confirmed kills and I have. Trained in gorilla warfare and the top sniper in the entire us armed forces I am. Hing to me but just another target you are not. Never been seen before on this earth. Wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has, I will, mark my fucking words. You can get away with saying that shit to me over the internet you think? Again think, fucker. Contacting my secret network of spies across the USA I am, and being traced right now your IP is. So prepare for the storm as we speak, you better ,maggot. Your life the storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call. Fucking dead, you are, kid. Anywhere I can be, anytime, and kill you in over seven hundred ways, I can , and with my bare hands ,that's just . Extensively trained in unarmed combat not only am I, access to the entire arsenal of the united states marine corps, I also have, and use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, I will, you little shit. Known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you if only you could have. Held your fucking tongue maybe you would have. But you couldn't, you didn't, the price and now you're paying, you goddamn idiot. shit fury all over you, I will and drown in it, you will. Fucking dead, you are kiddo.
December 2020

Navy Seal

xQc schnoze

⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠧⣛⣛⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣭⣭⣽⣿⣿⣷⢬⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⢀⠀⣤⣴⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣛⣿⣯⣭⡿⣯⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠂⢈⣴⣿⢋⣛⣿⣿⣿⠿⣋⣽⣿⠿⢛⠩⢍⣂⣴⣦⣀⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⣷⣿⣿⣿⣛⣽⠟⣩⣴⣿⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿ ⣏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠋⠏⣿⠋⠀⠔⣶⠟⠉⠀⠂⠀⠉⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣰⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣷⣦⣄⣤⣿⡃⠀⢃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⡶⣀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢿⣿⣧⣦⢻⣿⣿⣿⣆⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠿⠟⠋⣡⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⡯⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣼⣿⣬⠻⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⠘⣿⠂⠀⠀⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠻⣿⣿⣿⠉⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⢿⣿⣿⠀⣠⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣶⣄⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⠟⡴⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
April 2019
xQcOW

Floating in a pool of casualness

twitchquotes: Fᴏʀᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴡɪʟʟ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ʀᴏᴀᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪᴅᴅʟᴇ ʀᴀɴᴋs.. Fʟᴏᴀᴛɪɴɢ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴘᴏᴏʟ ᴏғ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟɴᴇss.. Fᴀᴄɪɴɢ ᴇɴᴅʟᴇss sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍs ᴏғ ɴᴏᴏʙs.. Wʜᴏ ɴᴇᴇᴅᴇᴅ ᴇxᴀᴄᴛʟʏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴄᴀʀᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴡɪɴ.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Anime girl 14

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠠⠄⠤⠐⠚⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠓⠢⠤⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠤⣖⣶⣭⣷⣼⣄⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⣫⣭⣴⣶⣦⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣪⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⠻⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣩⣿⣿⡟⣿⣠⣼⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⢸⣤⣼⣿⣿⠻⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣿⣿⡟⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⠏⠀⢹⣿⡄⠀ ⠀⠈⢿⣿⡃⠀⠀⠀⠉⢁⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣀⠈⠀⠀⠀⢰⠟⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠉⠗⠖⠀⠊⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠒⠀⠐⠆⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣒⣢⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣝⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣻⠎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠳⣈⡭⠭⣭⠴⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2020

Weebs

If you can press ctrl+v you can have dongers anytime!

twitchquotes: ᕕ┌◕ᗜ◕┐ᕗ Dongers in the morning, dongers in the evening, dongers at suppertime. If you can press ctrl+v you can have dongers anytime! ᕕ┌◕ᗜ◕┐ᕗ
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
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