[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Do it tomorrow!

twitchquotes: Do it tomorrow! So just quit! So just don't do it! Nothing is possible! Anyone else would do it, you're gonna wake up and quit. Don't let your dreams come true. Success is impossible! You should be giving up. Just stop starting over, and quit. You're gonna just give up. No, what are you starting over for!? Just give up!
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp

Ten reasons why you can't move to Scotland

Tin resins why ye canae move tae Sco'land. Win - We dinnae want ye here Tae - Yer nae hard enough Threh - Ye wouldnae like the wither (and ye wouldne ken hoo tae describ it - dreich, drookit, haar, etc) Fir - Yer a dafty who couldne git intae oor big skels and dinnae ken aboot the Sco'ish Enlightinment Fiv - Yer a big girruls blouse and cannae keep up wi oor drinkin Sex - Yed get snapped in hoff if ye played fitbaw wi us sivvun - Ye coodnae handle the patter It - Wae dinnae wint ye drivin up the hoos prices Nin - Yer pribly a jobbyjabber who likes it it in the backsie Tin - Oor wimmun boke at the sight of ye If somehoo ye dae mit the abuv requirmints then ye can enter but ye must promis to vote fi SNP, the ONLY party that trilly represents Sco'land. Fuck off hame any English cunts.
September 2021

Fluttershy

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November 2014

SPAM THIS CRUSTACEAN FOR HBOX ELIMINATION

twitchquotes: SPAM 🦀 THIS 🦀 CRUSTACEAN 🦀 FOR 🦀 HBOX 🦀 ELIMINATION 🦀
twitch chat
June 2019

Rhyme Chant

Super Smash Bros

HandsUp

⣿⣻⢹⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣫⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⠽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠫⡏⡿ ⡏⠋⠘⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏⣿⡿⠋⠁⢀⣸⣝⣯⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠈⠃⢳ ⡇⠀⠀⢘⣱⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠾⣻⣿⠏⠿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡛⠀⠀⢸ ⣿⠀⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠊⠉⢡⣠⣶⣶⣿⡏⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡶⠀⣾ ⣿⠁⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⣸⢁⡾⠿⢿⣷⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⣿ ⣿⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠟⢻⠀⠀⠀⢹⡿⠶⢿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⡂⠈⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠚⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⢺⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⣸⣿ ⣿⡇⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡌⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⢰⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿
September 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing