[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
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More Copypastas

When Tim Hortons... all becoming Canada

twitchquotes: when tim hortons, my hand automatically go to the maple glazed. i dip the doughnuterinos and feel i have sex with the hockey, all becoming canada eh?  sorry
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

This guy's painting is CRAZY

twitchquotes: KappaRoss “This guy's painting is CRAZY!” KappaRoss “My drawing can't win against a painting like that” KappaRoss "He NEEDED precisely those colors to win" KappaRoss “He drew the only scene that could beat me” KappaRoss "He had the perfect brush" KappaRoss
twitch chat
November 2015
Kripp

SUMMONING SPELL FOR HYDRA

twitchquotes: THIS IS THE SUMMONING SPELL HandsUp FOR THE HYDRA DEEK OF HELL HandsUp ONE WEEB MUST BE SACRIFICED HandsUp FOR THE HYDRA DEEK TO RISE HandsUp OH MIGHTY HYDRA I SING YOUR SONG HandsUp MAY YOU GROW BIG AND LONG HandsUp
twitch chat
March 2020

KappaPride

Crewmate with buffed legs

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⡿⠛⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⡅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣦⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠛⠛⠃⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣀⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄ ⠸⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠛⠿⢿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠃⠄⠄
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Imaqtpie, where are you listening to this VILE music?!

twitchquotes: QT have you no shame? Listening to this VILE music full of cussing and vulgar language, N word this, N word that. I mean is this really what you want you viewers to be influenced by? I expected more from you Michael 'imaqtpie' Santana.
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie
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