Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Doublelift's chat is the best chat to spread copypastas
twitchquotes:
Doublelift's chat is the best chat to spread your copypastas. I love the feeling of that succulent wall of text skyrocketing through chat at the speed of sound. The sheer knowledge that at least one other person will notice your masterpiece, highlight it, and copypasta. This is my safe place. This is where I will plant my pastas to grow up to be big pasta trees.
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Doublelift
Pokemon Marathon Season 3 Intermission
twitchquotes:
IT'S HERACROSS 
THIS LOOKS BAD WINDS OF NEW BEGINNINGS GLIGARMAN LOOK, TOGEPI RETURN EVERYBODY IT'S SUPER EXPENSIVE
THIS LOOKS BAD WINDS OF NEW BEGINNINGS GLIGARMAN LOOK, TOGEPI RETURN EVERYBODY IT'S SUPER EXPENSIVE
twitch chat
Pokemon Marathon 2018
You used ect instead of etc
Hello! You have made the mistake of writing "ect" instead of "etc."
"Ect" is a common misspelling of "etc," an abbreviated form of the Latin phrase "et cetera." Other abbreviated forms are etc., &c., &c, and et cet. The Latin translates as "et" to "and" + "cetera" to "the rest;" a literal translation to "and the rest" is the easiest way to remember how to use the phrase.
I Am Very Smart
Control V
twitchquotes:
ຈل͜ຈ ɪ ᴄᴛʀʟ ᴠ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴀ ᴍɪɴᴅʟᴇss ʀᴇᴛᴀʀᴅ ຈل͜ຈ
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EtrnlWait
come on chat. smoke with me
twitchquotes:
🚬 💨 come on chat. smoke with me.
🚬 💨 come on chat. smoke with me.
twitch chat