[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

What is so funny about copypasta?

What is so funny about copypasta? Someone put a lot of time in writing out a wall of text, and all you do is just copy and paste it? Unbelievable. Freaking unbelievable. It is so fucking disrespectful for the original writter to have his thoughts repeated over and over just for some kind of sick joke. You fools know the navy seal copypasta, right? People chuckle at it because he was "very mad". Well, think about it, motherfucker. What if he WAS very mad? What if he actually had feelings and his day was ruined? Ever think about it like that? No, of course not. You tools just took his words over and over and used it for shits and giggles. How fucking rude. At this point, my 3 page essay on why I think cancel culture is cancer could be used as a copypasta. That is just fucking wrong on so many levels. I'm not going to write out a copypasta myself, because I don't want my words to be shat out over and over again. I'm just expressing my thoughts and feelings on the abuse of copypasta. It just needs to fucking stop
January 2020

Qtpie, this is your dad here

twitchquotes: qtpie, this is your dad here. i just wanted to say how proud of you i am son, always hiding in your room playing your video games, talking to your internet friends. your mom and i think that's swell and we just wanted to let you know we love you. pls no copy dadderino
twitch chat
March 2016
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Monitor always grey, need you to fix

twitchquotes: ☎️📞 BabyRage HELLO? Computer repairman?? ☎️📞 BabyRage This is QT ☎️📞 BabyRage Monitor always grey ☎️📞 BabyRage need you to fix
twitch chat
May 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Trump and Scooby Doo

twitchquotes: "Well Shaggy and Scoobs, you caught the Twitch Chat ghost. Where are Fred and Daphne?" Fred and Daphne appear, their clothes ruffled. Fred pulls off the ghost's hood. "Rit's Rrump!" exclaims Scoobie. "Why'd you do it Trump?" asks Velma. "Because I hate Twitch chat and I would've gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids!"
twitch chat
April 2015
Trump

I hate Twitch Chat

I want to become a hearth

twitchquotes: I want to become a hearth. I know there’re people out there just like me, but I’m different. On November 14th, I’m moving to Jamestown; home of the hearths. I’ve cut off my arms, and now light myself on fire everywhere I go as training. I'm not be a hearth yet, but if you give me a chance, I will become the greatest hearth.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing