[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

I fucked Up DVD

Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken DVD over and realized that it was not a blank DVD, but a copy of the Pixar movie Up.. Well guys, guess I fucked up.
April 2022

Classic

PogOff

⠄⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⣾⣿⠿⠛⣉⣁⣤⣤⣤⣤⣬⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⣿ ⣾⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣤⡈ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⢋⠉⠩⠉⢩⣙⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠶⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣶⣏⣁⡁⣐⣆⠈⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣥⣤⡌⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣭⣭⣿⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢀⣿⣿⡿⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⣴⣿⣿⠏⢡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡈⠙⠛⠛⠻⢃⣼⣿⣿⠏⣐⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡜⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢳⣾⣿⣿⠋⣼⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⢀⣾⣿⣆⠹⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠁ ⣿⣿⡟⣀⣿⣿⣿⠛⣠⣄⢹⣿⣿⣧⣤⣄⣀⣤⣶⣾⣿⡿⣿⡆⢻⡟⠁⢀⡀⠄ ⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⢣⣾⣿⣿⠄⠉⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠃⠉⠉⠛⠃⠉⠈⣾⣷⠾⠟⠁⢠ ⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣶⣆⢰⣶⣶⣶⣶⠶⠒⢀⣀⣄⣠⣴⡟⠁⠄⠄⣰⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⠿⠿⠏⣾⡿⠃⠈⠉⠉⠛⠄⠘⠛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣠⣾⣿⣿
January 2022

Emote

Anime girl 8

⣿⠟⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢣⠟⠋⡜⠄⢸⣿⣿⡟⣬⢁⠠⠁⣤⠄⢰⠄⠇⢻⢸ ⢏⣾⣿⣿⣿⠿⣟⢁⡴⡀⡜⣠⣶⢸⣿⣿⢃⡇⠂⢁⣶⣦⣅⠈⠇⠄⢸⢸ ⣹⣿⣿⣿⡗⣾⡟⡜⣵⠃⣴⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⢸⠘⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢱⠄⠨⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⢁⣾⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⣿⡎⠐⠒⠚⠛⠛⠿⢧⠄⠄⢠⣼ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠿⢸⡿⠭⠭⢽⣿⣿⣿⢂⣿⠃⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⡾ ⣼⠏⣿⡏⠄⠄⢠⣤⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣟⣾⣾⣼⣿⠒⠄⠄⠄⡠⣴⡄⢠⣿⣵ ⣳⠄⣿⠄⠄⢣⠸⣹⣿⡟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡻⡖⠦⢤⣔⣯⡅⣼⡿⣹ ⡿⣼⢸⠄⠄⣷⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣕⡜⡌⡝⡸⠙⣼⠟⢱⠏ ⡇⣿⣧⡰⡄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣋⣪⣥⢠⠏⠄ ⣧⢻⣿⣷⣧⢻⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢀⣀⣀⡙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠂⠄⠄ ⢹⣼⣿⣿⣿⣧⡻⣿⣿⣇⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣰⠄⠄⠄ ⣼⡟⡟⣿⢸⣿⣿⣝⢿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⢟⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⡀⡀ ⣿⢰⣿⢹⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠉⠄⠄⣸⢰⡇ ⣿⣾⣹⣏⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣍⡻⣛⣛⣛⡉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢇⡏⠄
May 2019

Weebs

I bet with Betway CSGO

twitchquotes: I've been there since the beginning. Every map, every frag, every moment. I run but I never hide. With knowledge comes power, and power is to be wielded wisely. Which is why, as the expert, I bet with Betway. If you know CS:GO, then you know the best way to bet on e-sports, is with Betway. For the love of the game.
twitch chat
October 2019

CSGO

Jade Idol, shuffle 3 more copies into the chat

twitchquotes: :christmas_tree: Jade Idol :christmas_tree: When this card enters the chat, shuffle 3 more copies into the chat :christmas_tree:
twitch chat
December 2016

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing