[Copypasta] I want to fuck the Samsung girl

Oh my fucking god I want to fuck the Samsung Virtual assistant so fucking bad, every waking second of my fucking life since the release of that fucking ad I’ve done nothing but think about her. I can’t go for more that 2 seconds without getting an erection the size of the Burj Khalifa and ejaculating at Mach 12. I’ve ejaculated so many times to simply the thought of her existence that my cock is no longer cumming sperm but literal fucking blood. I can’t stoping thinking about her even after passing out from the pain of cumming blood. I can’t complete nearly any daily tasks because my mind is continuously invaded by her perfection, I can’t live every day of my life thinking about angelic voice screaming in luscious pain about the new Samsung data plan while I fuck her perfect 3D modeled asshole. My personal hell will only get worse in a matter of hours as I will scavenge every corner of the internet in search of her rule 34 and my continuous stream of blood cum will only get worse as I’ll spend days, weeks, possibly months jacking off to her non-stop for any reason other than to shit, piss and eat. Simply at this point alone in writing this I’ve lost 2-3 liters of blood alone with just the simple thought of her existence. If this is how I die then I wouldn’t want it any other way.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Me and you know the real struggle

twitchquotes: Reynaldo, I have consistently around ten viewers, and its so annoying whenever I stream because I constantly get sniped, these plebs wouldn't understand, me and you know the real struggle. I have an 100% win rate when im not streaming and only a 5% when I am, just like you.
twitch chat
December 2014
Reynad

gachi hydra

⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠁⣀⣤⣤⣄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠁⣀⣀⡀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠁⢀⣟⣓⡲⣿⡡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢠⣽⠿⢿⣿⣦⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣄⣘⣿⡟⡽⠾⠜⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⠫⡆⣿⣿⣭⣰⡟⢉⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡵⣿⣿⣿⣶⣬⡶⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⢺⣻⣿⡟⡵⢿⡅⡇⣿⣿⠟⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⢧⣿⣿⣿⡿⣡⣿⣧⢻⣿⣮⣅⢗⣽⠋⢀⣄⡀⠄⠄⠹⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⢋⣼⣿⣿⣿⠗⣬⣯⣵⣿⡧⢱⣿⢛⢿⣷⣦⣀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⡿⢡⣿⣿⣿⡿⣣⣾⣿⡿⢟⣻⣅⣿⡷⣾⣟⣑⡮⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣧⢿⢧⣾⣿⣿⣿⣱⡿⢟⣭⣾⣿⣿⣿⢿⠒⡭⡞⠟⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡎⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣼⣿⣿⣿⣗⣩⣾⣿⣿⡿⢟⣛⣭⣭⣽⣯⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣩⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣤⣶⣤⣄⡀⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢽⣏⣩⡟⠛⠇⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣯⣭⣽⣾⡯⢛⣨⡿⣰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣛⣛⣛⣱⣊⣴⣿⣿
July 2019

KappaPride

TSM Oriental

twitchquotes: Am I seriously the only one offended by Samsung White? They would be ranting and raving if we had a team TSM Oriental or something. Jeez
twitch chat
October 2014
Riot Games

League of Legends

Peruvians and Dota 2

twitchquotes: Let's look at this statistically. Assuming you are not Peruvian, your team has four chances to spawn a Peruvian. The other team has five chances to spawn a Peruvian. Overall, you will have less Peruvians then your opponents, and will automatically rise on the ladder. If you aren't rising, you are probably secretly a Peruvian, ruining the statistical balance of sweet victory.
twitch chat
February 2015
SingSing

Dota 2

I lied. Again

twitchquotes: Months have passed. Hosty has lost everything. "I wish I never ghosted" says a heavily drunk Hosty as he notices a dark figure behind him."I can give you your life back as long as you do something for me" says Amaz. Hosty knowing what Amaz wants bends over and lets him have his way. Afterwards as he cries on bed, Amaz whispers in his ear "I lied. Again"
twitch chat
February 2015
Tempo Storm
Text-to-Speech Playing