[Copypasta] I once knew this man. He was from the ocean

twitchquotes: I once knew this man. He was from the ocean. He did very Ocean-y things. He took me by the hand to take me to the land that you understand. He was the crust of a tan man imbibed by the sand, Soaking up the thirst of the land. Soaking up the thirst of the land. His Shin was in the shape of an "O". Don't know what to call him though...any ideas?
twitch chat
June 2017
What happened to this ad? :(
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No one this year has a chance against TL

twitchquotes: Hate to break it to you, but no one this year has a chance against TL. They are easily the best team in the world this year, and its easy to see why. You have Impact, former world champion and the tank god ready to reclaim his title, and there is nothing that will stand in his way. Xmithie, the legendary jungle who knows the ins and outs of every single part of the game, ask him how much damage krugs will do to Anivia jungle at level 2 with just the starting item? He knows. Ask him where Mlxg will be at 20:43 into the game when its only 10:12? He can give you an area accurate to withing 500 units. You have Jensen, easily clapping perkz, caps, and your mum, as well as dominating the inferior Chinese and Korean mids. You have Doublelift, so called because he can carry twice as hard as any other ADC in the game, backed up by CoreJJ, a world champion who is so accurate with his Thresh hooks Riot had to program in a random number generator just to make sure he misses at least 20% of them to keep it fair to the enemy. Anyone who thinks EU, China, Korea, or any other team has a chance this year is straight up wrong.
twitch chat
August 2019

League of Legends

Squid game has ruined my life

Squid Game has ruined my life. I can’t look at a PS4 controller without bursting out in laughter because it remind me of the guards. The electrical room from among us already ruined my fucking life and now the signs on it gives me a fucking heart attack because squid game. Shape toys? THE FUCKING GUARD SIGNS AGAIN! Pineapple guy is player #001? Wtf. The neutral emoji I can’t even look at it it turns into player #456 in my sleep. Nikocado Avocado has a square sign on his chest I SERIOUSLY THOUGHT HE WAS A SQUARE GUARD WTF!!! I can’t even eat doritos because of squid game. I can’t even play fucking splatoon because of that horrible squid game. The 🌝 emoji just fucking turns into the doll from the first game and I can’t make it stop. I wanna fucking kill myself my life is fucking ruined
October 2021

Squid Game

Crewmate wave

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⡼⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣶⡾⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣅⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣀⣴⣾⣿⡿⠋⠀⣠⣶⣶⠿⠿⠿⠿⠷⢶⣶⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢰⣿⣿⣿⣟⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣥⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣠⣬⣭⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠈⠙⠿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⣀⣹ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣀⣤⣶⡿⠿⠟ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠰⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⡍⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠋⣩⣥⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⢿⡋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣻⡿⠿⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
ascii art
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

See you in court

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, this is Anne, just letting you know that the DNA test came back positive and I will be seeing you in court to get my child support. Oh and btw she is now 4 years old and asking where is daddy ***, either way see you in court..
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

I used to work at an abortion clinic

I used to work at an abortion clinic and I saw some extremely fucked up shit there which is why I'm so anti-abortion now. This is just SOME of the horrible stuff I personally witnessed: • ⁠A 23 year old woman came in 11 months into her pregnancy and said "I don't want my stupid baby anymore, kill it" and the doctor said "okay" and he put jumper cables up her baby hole and connected them to a car battery and let it run for six days straight • ⁠A little 8-year old girl wandered in and said "I want an abortion but I am not pregnant" and the doctor said "we'll fix that" and he stole a baby and cut the girl open and put the baby inside her and sewed her shut and then woke the girl up and said "congratulations it's a healthy six year old boy" and the girl said "can I keep him" and the doctor said no and then backed over her in the parking lot with his brand new Ford Raptor • ⁠They made me sign an agreement promising to stop drinking from the medical waste container (I signed somebody else's name) • ⁠One of the doctors there developed a futuristic ray gun that could make anything he shot have an abortion, even trees, cars, or barns • ⁠The receptionist threw nail polish at an elderly man • ⁠The doctor's assistant invented this thing she called "the silly slide" and it was a really fun little water slide that connected a woman's vagina to a paper shredder so a newborn baby could briefly "enjoy the high life" • ⁠The oldest child we aborted was in his late 70s, we didn't even know he was a baby until his wife brought in photos • ⁠The doctors put all sorts of crap up a woman's uterus including a clown nose, bicycle handlebars, a calendar, and an entire Sears retail outlet (before bankruptcy) • ⁠During every successful abortion, the doctor would shout "take that, baby" and he'd push a red button that made sirens go off and confetti fell from the ceiling and we'd all get Del Taco for free
August 2021

NSFW

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