[Copypasta] I once knew this man. He was from the ocean

twitchquotes: I once knew this man. He was from the ocean. He did very Ocean-y things. He took me by the hand to take me to the land that you understand. He was the crust of a tan man imbibed by the sand, Soaking up the thirst of the land. Soaking up the thirst of the land. His Shin was in the shape of an "O". Don't know what to call him though...any ideas?
twitch chat
June 2017
I used to be a real ad
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Kripp please lick knee twice

twitchquotes: สœแด‡สŸสŸแด แด‹ส€ษชแด˜แด˜แด€ส€ส€ษชษดแด แดส สŸแดแด แด‡, แด›สœษชs ษชs Rแด€ษดษชแด€. Mส แด›แดษดษขแดœแด‡ แด€สŸสŸ แด›ษชส€แด‡แด… แดแดœแด› า“ส€แดแด สŸษชแด„แด‹ษชษดษข สแดแดœส€ sแดกแด‡แด‡แด› แด‹ษดแด‡แด‡ แดŠแดœษชแด„แด‡ แด€สŸสŸ ษดษชษขสœแด›. แด˜สŸแด‡แด€sแด‡ สŸษชแด„แด‹ สแดแดœส€ แด‹ษดแด‡แด‡ แด›แดกษชแด„แด‡ แด€ษดแด… ษชษด ส€แด‡แดกแด€ส€แด… ษช ส€แด€ษชsแด‡ แดœส€ แด…แดษดษขแด‡ส€. แด˜สŸแด‡แด€sแด‡ ษดแด แด€สŸ แด˜แด€แด„ษชษดแด.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday

Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
December 2020

Donger

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œ โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–โ–Œโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–ˆโ–Œโ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–Œโ–’โ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014

Stack 4 cans

Check out these 4 cans dude PogChamp / DrinkPurple So neatly stacked Check out these 4 cans PogChamp / DrinkPurple So neatly stacked Check out these 4 cans PogChamp / DrinkPurple So neatly stacked Check out these 4 cans PogChamp / DrinkPurple
twitch chat
August 2016

How to prank your school principle

Step 1: Go to his office Step 2: distract him Step 3: Put a fish on his desk Step 4: He'll laugh at it and say "Who put this fish on my desk" Step 5: Break his kneecaps
June 2021
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