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twitchquotes: 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘐𝘚𝘗
twitch chat
July 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Yeah I'm a virgin, so what?

Yeah I'm a virgin, so what? I'm waiting for the "right one", there's nothing wrong with that. Just because I'm 36 doesn't make it "weird" or make me a "loser". I have standards. I'm not going to give away my state of chastity to some bar/club "whore"; that's just not the kind of guy I am. I require a REAL women that will hold and care for me gently, and who can, above all else, love me for who I am. Once I find that person, I'll happily donate my virginity away. Until then, I am fine being a virgin. Besides, I have a fleshlight, so it's not like I don't know how it feels anyway. Maybe one day you immature keyboard cretins will understand that life isn't about just having sex for the accomplishment, it's about love and finding the "one" to share that experience with.
September 2021

What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie?

What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Tiny Tots Program, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the girl's bathroom, and I have over 300 confirmed noogies. I am trained in Nerf warfare and I have the most gold stars in the entire kindergarten class. You are nothing to me but just another butthead. I will beat you the heck up with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my dang words. You think you can get away with saying that baloney to me on the glowy type-box? Think again, doodiehead. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of teachers across the USA and your parents are being called to pick you up right now so you better prepare for the spanking, junior. The spanking that wipes out the dumb little thing you call your playtime. You're in big darn trouble, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can wedgie you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed fartfights, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States PTA and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your dorky bottom off the face of the playground, you little poopypants. If only you could have known what serious punishments your little "smartypants" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your goshdarned tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you silly doofus. I will spray boogers all over you and you will cry about it. You're frickin grounded, buttmunch...
August 2021

Navy Seal

Biohazard

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡖⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢲⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⢀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⡀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣔⢿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠻⢿⡿⣢⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⡀⢀⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⠉⠻⣿⠇⠀⠀⠸⣿⡿⠋⢰⣿⡇⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⡄⠀ ⠀⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣷⡀⠀⠰⣿⣶⣶⣿⡎⠀⢀⣾⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⠀ ⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣷⣄⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣠⣾⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⢿⢇⣿⣿⣿⣿⡸⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠐⢤⣀⣀⢀⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⠿⠋⠙⠿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⠀⠀⣀⡠⠂⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
March 2020

MrDestructoid ERROR public static void

twitchquotes: MrDestructoid Anyone who thinks mobile games can't be amazing has never played Art of Conquest! My friends are all having a blast already, and I'll be joining them right away! I'll also be subscribing to Kripp's channel to stay up to date! MrDestructoid ERROR public static void WaitTime(NULL)
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Viewbots

without throwing your cat across the room

twitchquotes: Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
November 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing