twitchquotes:
๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด๐ข๐จ๐ฆ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ด ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ฃ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ค๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ฃ๐บ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐๐๐
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I used to be a real ad
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Kripp's handicapped half-cousin from Romania, Kripple
twitchquotes:
Dear Kripp, this is you handicapped half-cousin from Romania, Kripple. I need you help for my medical bill. I owe Doctor $5,000 and he only accept 5 dollar bill. Plz help. If I don't pay he take my good leg. Sincerlirino, Kripple J. Morospam
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Kripp
I used to work at an abortion clinic
I used to work at an abortion clinic and I saw some extremely fucked up shit there which is why I'm so anti-abortion now. This is just SOME of the horrible stuff I personally witnessed:
โข โ A 23 year old woman came in 11 months into her pregnancy and said "I don't want my stupid baby anymore, kill it" and the doctor said "okay" and he put jumper cables up her baby hole and connected them to a car battery and let it run for six days straight
โข โ A little 8-year old girl wandered in and said "I want an abortion but I am not pregnant" and the doctor said "we'll fix that" and he stole a baby and cut the girl open and put the baby inside her and sewed her shut and then woke the girl up and said "congratulations it's a healthy six year old boy" and the girl said "can I keep him" and the doctor said no and then backed over her in the parking lot with his brand new Ford Raptor
โข โ They made me sign an agreement promising to stop drinking from the medical waste container (I signed somebody else's name)
โข โ One of the doctors there developed a futuristic ray gun that could make anything he shot have an abortion, even trees, cars, or barns
โข โ The receptionist threw nail polish at an elderly man
โข โ The doctor's assistant invented this thing she called "the silly slide" and it was a really fun little water slide that connected a woman's vagina to a paper shredder so a newborn baby could briefly "enjoy the high life"
โข โ The oldest child we aborted was in his late 70s, we didn't even know he was a baby until his wife brought in photos
โข โ The doctors put all sorts of crap up a woman's uterus including a clown nose, bicycle handlebars, a calendar, and an entire Sears retail outlet (before bankruptcy)
โข โ During every successful abortion, the doctor would shout "take that, baby" and he'd push a red button that made sirens go off and confetti fell from the ceiling and we'd all get Del Taco for free
NSFW
F2P player
twitchquotes:
Hi Trump, nice warrior deck! I'm a F2P player though, and was wondering if you could tell me what cards i could use in place of Baron, Alexstrasza, Ragnaros, Brawl, Death's bite, and shield slam?
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Trump
YAYO was first found in America in the year 1070
twitchquotes:
Did You Know? YAYO was first found in America in the year 1070. The native Dongers sang it to please their God. One day they didn't sing YAYO, a NACHO TORPEDO destroyed their whole culture. Ripperino Dongerino, all you knew was YAYO..
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imaqtpie
Gitraktmaet motherships descend upon the Earth
twitchquotes:
High in orbit, the Gitraktmaet motherships descend upon the Earth. They prepare to enslave the world and mine it for all its salt, but the scanners detect an abnormally high concentration inside a tiny shack in Greece. The invasion won't be necessary. "Lock onto him with the RNG disruptor," says the captain, greedily. "Soon we shall have all the salt we need."
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Kripp