[Copypasta] Never raise a child who likes Jake and Logan Paul

twitchquotes: My son 👦🏻 can be homer sexual 🏳️‍🌈 My daughter 👧🏻 can be lebanese 👭 But I will NEVER ‼️ Raise a child 👶🏻 who likes Jake and Logan Paul 🙅🏻‍
twitch chat
August 2018
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More Copypastas

Hafu likes money a lot

twitchquotes: (◕‿◕✿) Hello! My name is Hafu! (◡‿◡✿) My boyfriend just broke up with me! He said he doesn't like looking at my beef curtains and my chest is too flat. (◕‿-) But it's okay! I will sob uncontrollably on stream. My viewers will feel sorry for me and give me lots of money. I like money a lot. (。♥‿♥。)
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

Here's an "extended maintenance" for you

twitchquotes: ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮ Hey Blizzard, here's an "extended maintenance" for you ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas

The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas, and has successfully executed her forced feminization program, converting 72% of the us male population into women, the remaining 28% either existing peacefully as femboy subs or have fled the country, if they're lucky. All references to Dr. Seuss, Mr. Potatohead, and other such martyrs and thoughtcrimes will lead to prompt and inevitable cancellation by means of Jewish space laser. All statues of white people have been torn down and replaced with statues of AOC alongside Mao Zedong and Che Guevara, and the public has thus collectively forgotten about Robert E. Lee. The constitution has its 28th amendment, codifying mandatory cock and ball torture for all penis-having citizens no less than twice a week. It is illegal to say "Merry Christmas". Heterosexual relationships are strictly forbidden. Attack Helicopter, with pronouns brr/brrs, is a gender recognized on the official list of 93. The police have been almost entirely defunded, nationally having an annual budget of $5.30, enough for a single Big Mac Combo Meal. There is a new arm of the state, namely the "rape police" whose sole duty is functionally a secret task force to ensure all consent is affirmative and enthusiastic. All citizens must pledge allegiance to the LGBTQIA+ rainbow flag and swear oaths on White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo. All g*mers have been deported. Mexico is now the 53rd state, behind Puerto Rico and Washington DC. All bathrooms are gender-neutral. Marxism, the theory proposing the government do a lot of things, has become the official state ideology, including mandatory education on critical race theory beginning in pre-K. White people are second class citizens, guilty of being white, and all white people must publicly apologize on the behalf of their race as a coming-of-age ceremony at the beginning of pubescence. Facts now care about feelings. We will no longer be subjugated by AOC and her inner party, the Squad. The Culture War is not over. We will not be cancelled. We are the resista— radio static
March 2021

The year is 2035, you buy g fuel with doge coin

The year is 2035, you enter your local 7/11 to buy yourself a g fuel before your shift in the local crypto mine. The android working the counter says they only accept doge coin. You pull out your phone, draw a stick man in less than five seconds on a yellow back ground and then sell it as an NFT. From the sell you make 6 doge coin, about 5 million dollars in old world money. You go to buy the drink only to find out that from the time you closed your phone to the time you talked to the cashier the coins had dropped in value to only 3 dollars per coin and you now owe at least 10 doge coin to the robot for the gamer fuel. You leave the store, frustrated, and drive off in your Tesla
December 2021

Cryptocurrency

Art of Conquest is my favorite game!

twitchquotes: Art of Conquest is my favorite game! (Thanks for agreeing to post some positive feedback about our game. Just post this in Kripp's Twitch chat as often as possible. Make sure to remove this message before you post it. Thanks! -Art of Conquest Team)
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

sellout

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