[Copypasta] Never raise a child who likes Jake and Logan Paul

twitchquotes: My son 👦🏻 can be homer sexual 🏳️‍🌈 My daughter 👧🏻 can be lebanese 👭 But I will NEVER ‼️ Raise a child 👶🏻 who likes Jake and Logan Paul 🙅🏻‍
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August 2018
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the best way to waste time

twitchquotes: imaqtpie's stream is undoubtedly the best way to waste time. Nothing of value happens here and you can study a real homeless man in preparation for when your life inevitably falls apart as a result
twitch chat
April 2018
imaqtpie

⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021

BRUH anime girl

⡏⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠉⠉⠉⠹ ⡇⢸⣿⡟⠛⢿⣷⠀⢸⣿⡟⠛⢿⣷⡄⢸⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀ ⡇⢸⣿⣧⣤⣾⠿⠀⢸⣿⣇⣀⣸⡿⠃⢸⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⣇⣀⣸⣿⡇⠀ ⡇⢸⣿⡏⠉⢹⣿⡆⢸⣿⡟⠛⢻⣷⡄⢸⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⡏⠉⢹⣿⡇⠀ ⡇⢸⣿⣧⣤⣼⡿⠃⢸⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⡇⠸⣿⣧⣤⣼⡿⠁⢸⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀ ⣇⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣀⡈⠉⣁⣀⣄⣀⣀⣀⣠⣀⣀⣀⣰ ⣇⣿⠘⣿⣿⣿⡿⡿⣟⣟⢟⢟⢝⠵⡝⣿⡿⢂⣼⣿⣷⣌⠩⡫⡻⣝⠹⢿⣿⣷ ⡆⣿⣆⠱⣝⡵⣝⢅⠙⣿⢕⢕⢕⢕⢝⣥⢒⠅⣿⣿⣿⡿⣳⣌⠪⡪⣡⢑⢝⣇ ⡆⣿⣿⣦⠹⣳⣳⣕⢅⠈⢗⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢈⢆⠟⠋⠉⠁⠉⠉⠁⠈⠼⢐⢕⢽ ⡗⢰⣶⣶⣦⣝⢝⢕⢕⠅⡆⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⣴⠏⣠⡶⠛⡉⡉⡛⢶⣦⡀⠐⣕⢕ ⡝⡄⢻⢟⣿⣿⣷⣕⣕⣅⣿⣔⣕⣵⣵⣿⣿⢠⣿⢠⣮⡈⣌⠨⠅⠹⣷⡀⢱⢕ ⡝⡵⠟⠈⢀⣀⣀⡀⠉⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣿⢈⡋⠴⢿⡟⣡⡇⣿⡇⡀⢕ ⡝⠁⣠⣾⠟⡉⡉⡉⠻⣦⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠸⣿⣦⣥⣿⡇⡿⣰⢗⢄ ⠁⢰⣿⡏⣴⣌⠈⣌⠡⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣬⣉⣉⣁⣄⢖⢕⢕⢕ ⡀⢻⣿⡇⢙⠁⠴⢿⡟⣡⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣵⣵⣿ ⡻⣄⣻⣿⣌⠘⢿⣷⣥⣿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⢄⠻⣿⣟⠿⠦⠍⠉⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣦⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟ ⡕⡑⣑⣈⣻⢗⢟⢞⢝⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⠿⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⣠ ⡝⡵⡈⢟⢕⢕⢕⢕⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⣀⣈⠙ ⡝⡵⡕⡀⠑⠳⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⢉⡠⡲⡫⡪⡪⡣
March 2021

Weebs

Lying about service dogs

I work in a restaurant. We only allow dogs in if they are service dogs. If anyone comes in with any dog I ask; ‘Is it a service dog?’ With a big wink to give them the opportunity to lie to me making it obvious I want them to. If at first they say ‘no’ I reply with ‘are you sure? This dog here? Sure looks like a service dog to me. Are you sure this is not a service dog?’with another big wink Always works. I love dogs
July 2021

Hi I'm 13 and I just started watching Rick and Morty

twitchquotes: Hi I'm 13 and I just started watching Rick and Morty and I can tell you for a fact it's my favorite show!!. Lik the one time Ricky said said there's probably like no good !!!! i was agreeing so much I'am smarter then you're average fidget spinner teen at middle school to even though I have one. I may be young but I'm smarter then every theist on earth basically the show is also really deep when they said like no one was born for a reason I was so blown away as they must have big balls to say that on tv so I told my friends on minecraft and they agree too. LOL once when my mom took me to McDonald's I asked for the Mulan dipping sauce and the dumb bitch didn't even get the reference XD One time in class i evan shouted "I'm PICKLE RIIIICK!" and Mrs.Janice told me to go outside i fucking hate that cunt school is for dumb ppl just like what Rick said, i m too smart for such imbicells. But yeah I love Rick and Morty and I'm actually smart enough to get it to.
twitch chat
September 2017

Rick and Morty

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