twitchquotes:
My son π¦π» can be homer sexual π³οΈβπ My daughter π§π» can be lebanese π But I will NEVER βΌοΈ Raise a child πΆπ» who likes Jake and Logan Paul π
π»β
twitch chat
(βΜΏΔΉΜ―ββ¬β΄β¬β΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
Yao Ming Face / Bitch Please
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You kids call that a copypasta?
twitchquotes:
You kids call that a copypasta? What do you whippersnappers even know about shitposting? You just go to that Twitch Quotes website and copy any kind of crap that is posted there every minute. Well let me tell you: back in my day, we used to craft our own copypasta by hand, full of love and care, using only the freshest memes from Kripp's stream, then shared it with everyone. We didn't simply copy any crap that appeared on our screens. And don't even think of copying this you lazy millenials.
twitch chat
Kripp
Viewbot #420
twitchquotes:
(Viewbot #420) 
Hello Mr. Michael "Imaqtpie" Santana, I am here to "view" your channel as was previously discussed.
Hello Mr. Michael "Imaqtpie" Santana, I am here to "view" your channel as was previously discussed.
twitch chat
imaqtpie
Viewbots
Slap Chop commercial script
Now that I have your attention let me show you this handy new kitchen tool, the Slap Chop! Youβre going to be in a great mood all day, because youβre going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop. Now, look hereβs a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you donβt have to switch any blades.
Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- thatβs why you donβt have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza.
Youβre going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done. This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now youβre going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this youβre going to have an exciting life now.
Look hereβs a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and youβre going to love this. You donβt have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go.
Youβre going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isnβt that beautiful on your ice cream.
You notice a wall of text in twitch chat
twitchquotes:
You notice a wall of text in twitch chat and your hand instinctively goes to the mouse. You scroll up to stop the chat elevator and read the pasta, indulging in its delights... You soon realize that this pasta conveys no information nor is particularly witty or funny. Nevertheless, you drag your mouse across, hit Ctrl+C, then Ctrl+V and press Enter
twitch chat