[Copypasta] Never raise a child who likes Jake and Logan Paul

twitchquotes: My son 👦🏻 can be homer sexual 🏳️‍🌈 My daughter 👧🏻 can be lebanese 👭 But I will NEVER ‼️ Raise a child 👶🏻 who likes Jake and Logan Paul 🙅🏻‍
twitch chat
August 2018
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She sells sea shells on the sea shore

She sells seashells on a seashore But the value of these shells will fall Due to the laws of supply and demand No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity Shells will sell much better if the people think they’re rare, you see Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island Stockpile 'em high until they’re rarer than a diamond Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em Really want 'em, really fuckin' want 'em, hit 'em like Bronson Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you haven’t got a shell, then you're just a fucking wasteman Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property Start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly "Shells must sell", that will be your new philosophy Swallow all your morals, they're a poor man's quality Four: expand, expand, expand Clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand Five: why just shells? Why limit yourself? She sells seashells, sell oil as well Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks Sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes Then run to be the president of the United States Eight: big smile mate, big wave, that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate Nine: Polarise the people, controversy is the game It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name Ten: the world is yours Step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore And you sell seashells on the seashore
April 2021

Kripp wash your hands after toilet

twitchquotes: Hey @nl_Kripp , disabled former Streamer here. You're reacting pretty aggressive to your chat's worries regarding your hand washing after toilet. It seems you have something to hide. Let me tell you something: I was there too. I went to the toilet and didn't wash my hands. Nobody saw it, nobody would know it. But chat asked. And I lied. Then I got sick. My hands got infected from bacteria and had to be amputated. Now I can't play games any more for a living. Don't make the same mistake, Kripp.
twitch chat
December 2018
Kripp

OkayChamp

twitchquotes: ⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀ ⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀ ⢀⣼⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⣀⣀⠀⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠀ ⣾⣿⣿⣇⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠉⠛⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣟⡋⠉⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠾⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣧⣀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣉⣛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⠈⠙⣿⡀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣨⣵⣿⣿⣿⠇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀ ⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣩⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⠙⠻⠟⠋⠁⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⢻⣧⡀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣀⡀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⡀⠈⠻⣿⣿⢃⣴ ⠀⠀⠀⢻⣦⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡈⠉⠈⠉⠉⠙⠛⠿⠋⠁⢀⣤⡜⠁⣼⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠸⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡶⠀⠀⣠⣤⣴⣿⡟⠁⢠⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⢠⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠋⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿
twitch chat
September 2020

BURGERS I EAT ALL DAY

twitchquotes: OpieOP BURGERS I EAT ALL DAY OpieOP LEAGUE OF LEGENDS I CANNOT PLAY OpieOP EU STAR PLAYERS I HAVE TO PAY OpieOP PROPER HEALTHCARE AN OCEAN AWAY OpieOP YOU GUESSED IT RIGHT OpieOP IM NA OpieOP
twitch chat
August 2018

Classic

EU vs NA

Dicks are so cute omg

twitchquotes: Dicks are so cute omg(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) when you hold one in your hand and it starts twitching its like its nuzzling you(/ω\) or when they perk up and look at you like" owo nya? :3c" hehe ~ penis-kun is happy to see me!!(^ワ^)
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing