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I hate Stuart Little

twitchquotes: I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you're thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no, Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A god damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he's supposed to be a hero? And I can't even tell you how many damn times I've seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible.
twitch chat
May 2019

Transcript of Will Smith and his wife

Jada: Are you going to let him speak about me like that? Will: What, it was funny, you were terrible in G.I. Jane J: I wasn't in G.I. Jane, Will W: Oh, then why did he say that? J: It was a joke about my hair!! W: Girl, you ain't got no hair J: THATS THE POINT WILL!! W: Ohh. ohhhh. OH Hell No!!
March 2022

Will Smith Slap

What happened to this ad? :(

find yourself a man that respects you

twitchquotes: Poor [female streamer name here], she always has to deal with these idiots. if I was her boyfriend she would get treated like the queen she is. I would never embarass her especially not in front of other people. This is disgusting. [female streamer name here] if you are reading this just get away from these morons and find yourself a man that respects you.
twitch chat
October 2020

Simps

Am I the asshole for dropping my 6 year old son at an orphanage for his inability to trade options?

This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.
September 2021

Am I The Asshole?

WallStreetBets

Anyone here frawum arizona?

twitchquotes: Anyone here frawum arizona ? KKona Ay recently done caught my ferst alligataw KKona gosh darn it. that there thing done had ovuurr 3 meters in lenght KKona gawd damn rascal kkona
twitch chat
April 2020
I used to be a real ad

I am a TSLA bull

twitchquotes: If TSLA has million number of bulls I am one of them. If TSLA has ten bulls I am one of them. If TSLA has no bulls, that means I am no more on the earth. If world is against TSLA, I am against the world. I love TSLA till my last breath.
twitch chat
July 2020

Valiant calls Shanghai

twitchquotes: HELLO SHANGHAI πŸ“ž 4Head IT'S THE VALIANT πŸ“ž 4Head WE'LL TAKE IT FROM HERE πŸ“ž 4Head
twitch chat
March 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

NA, AKA. "No Americans" is a Riot Games' Minor League

NA, AKA. "No Americans" is a Riot Games' Minor League that is often associated with very low domestic player participation (2/5). Is also ridiculed for being washed-up and it is specifically known for its obnoxious fanbase and mind-numbing throws.
October 2021

EU vs NA

React Andys constantly pausing the YouTube video

twitchquotes: Streamer the thing is, im just gonna be honest, i really dont care what u have to say, ur words mean nothing to me. But this video...this video means everything to me. And u keep pausing to speak, this feels like a personal attack. Please resume the video and shut the fuck up.
twitch chat
April 2021
Mizkif

I think YouTube rewind 2018 was a masterpiece!

twitchquotes: I think YouTube rewind 2018 was a masterpiece! It perfectly encapsulates the spirit of 2018 and the super funny memes we had this year such as fortnite dances, baby shark, dame tu cosita, k pop, and more! I especially like the part with everyone jumping out of the bus in the sky! That was so cool it looked so real. Thank you YouTube for making my year and reminding me of the awesome funny memes!!!
twitch chat
December 2018
I used to be a real ad

NFT Navy Seal Copypasta

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little pirate? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class at Full Sail University, and I've been involved in numerous secret Photoshop files, and I have over 300 confirmed NFTs. I am trained in gorilla artwork and I'm the top artist in the entire US armed artists. You are nothing to me but just another pirate. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of discord servers across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can turn you into an NFT in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed brushstrokes, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States NFT Corps and I will use it to its full extent to stomp your miserable ass directly into the blockchain, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit paint all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
December 2021

NFTs

Cryptocurrency

Navy Seal

The Tomato Town Incident

At around 10:00 AM on the morning of December 18th, 2018, in what was widely believed to be an act of government-sponsored ethnic cleansing, two armed militia men were seen parachuting from a military plane into the vicinity of Tomato Town. Upon landing the two quickly unholstered assault rifles and entered the local pizzeria where a massacre of unarmed civilians unfolded as they kept shouting, "Get Down! Get Down!". Improvised explosives were then detonated at the site of the crime to obscure the victim's identities. The local police chief spotted the assailants as they were exiting the diner and shot one in the back before he was quickly revived by his accomplice as they boarded a "technical" pickup truck and headed southbound. The two militiamen were outnumbered but gave chase before being cornered in the streets of the nearby district of Pleasant Park where a shootout occurred with the police. The two assailants were seen chugging jugs of alcohol before getting back into the pickup truck and heading towards Moist Mire where the police lost them, deliberately detouring around Loot Lake as a local source had tipped them off to the stationing of UN peacekeeping forces in the area. 10 bodies were later discovered in the rubble of the Pizzeria's board room. Not long after the assailants left the area, a purple cloud believed to be an experimental chemical agent developed by the government swept the area, resulting in death by suffocation, making the town uninhabitable and turning the survivors of the massacre into refugees. Military contractors hired by the government bulldozed what was left of Tomato Town including the ruins of the Pizzeria as well as the memorial site for the victims and redeveloped it into a religious site/tourist attraction for the dominant religion of the country known as "Tomato Temple". To this day the government denies the massacre and subsequent chemical weapons attack despite multiple Human Rights agencies releasing interviews with the survivors and even one of the assailants coming forward with a testimony of guilt uploaded to social media after a UN Geneva Convention Probe confirmed the use of banned chemical agents.
March 2021

Fortnite

Kripp at Blizzcon

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, not sure if you remember me. I sat 3 rows behind you at Blizzcon 2014. I know I will never be a front row pro like you, but I want to let you know that your big head ruined me and my boyfriends experience. I know $200 might not be a lot to you, but I didn't spend $200 to watch the back of your head absorb the front part of your hairline, so next time, scoot over, k?
twitch chat
September 2018
Kripp

Genuine Kripp Smile

twitchquotes: Look at him, look at that smile. That's a genuine Kripp Smileβ„’ there if I ever saw one. Now chat, if you pay close attention you'll realize that these rare, genuine demonstrations of happiness only actually happen when Kripp is playing Hearthstone. Not Artifact, not Magic, not anything else. Hearthstone is where Kripp's heart really is at. We just have to understand and support that, no matter what.
twitch chat
December 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Ben Shapiro sings the South Park theme song

So lets say, hypothetically, that I was going down to South Park to have myself a 'time'. In this hypothetical situation, there are friendly folks who are completely devoid of temptation. Now, because I am going down to South Park, it is safe to assume that I would be leaving my woes behind. Now, hypothetically, when I arrive, there is ample parking during both the hours of the day and the night, and the media would be saying "howdy neighbor." OK liberal, now that we've established that, lets say next that I was to head up to South Park. I would then, hypothetically, be testing to see if I would be able to unwind in South Park. I would also like to mention that, as a conservative white male, I find large female genitalia to be very attractive. So, I will finish off my argument by stating that the liberal media should come on down to South Park and meet some acquaintances of mine, including my wife (who is a doctor).
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

What happened to this ad? :(

Promoted to mod status

twitchquotes: β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” imGlitch The broadcaster of this channel has promoted you to mod status. Please press the key combo CTRL + W on your keyboard to activate this. β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
twitch chat
February 2020

Yuumi this, Yuumi that

twitchquotes: Yuumi this, Yuumi that... For fucks sake chat you do this every time a new champion comes out. Everybody says they are too weak and need buffs. Michael is the ONLY one who goes against the grain to show you that indeed the 27% winrate is a myth and will demonstrate that perfectly clearly how it should be closer to 10%...
twitch chat
May 2019
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Things are looking up for me (and down for you)

twitchquotes: I don’t need you. There are a whole lot of other streamers that deserve my time and support. As they say there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Fish without husbands too... you liar skank. I will no longer be dedicating 1/3 of my day to moderating your chat. Let the wildebeests roam... and if you need me, I’ll be in STPeach’s chat from now on. You may not know this but I actually do watch her streams after yours are over. And I’ve been a 6 month subscriber as well... I donated her $30 the other day and said her outfit looked cute - she said I’m a sweetheart. Things are looking up for me (and down for you). This is where I bid farewell to you, have fun being a liar bitchface.
twitch chat
May 2020

Simps

Sorry I've dropped my bag of Religious Symbols

twitchquotes: β˜ͺ ✑ † ☨ ✞ ✝ β˜₯ ☦ β˜“ ♁ ☩ β˜ͺ ✑ † ☨ ✞ ✝ β˜₯ ☦ β˜“ ♁ ☩ β˜ͺ ✑ † ☨ ✞ ✝ β˜₯ ☦ β˜“ ♁ ☩ Sorry I've dropped my bag of Religious Symbols β˜ͺ ✑ † ☨ ✞ ✝ β˜₯ ☦ β˜“ ♁ ☩ .β˜ͺ ✑ † ☨ ✞ ✝ β˜₯ ☦ β˜“ ♁ ☩ β˜ͺ ✑ † ☨ ✞ ✝ β˜₯ ☦ β˜“ ♁ ☩
twitch chat
August 2015
strifecro
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

TO GET DROP YOU MUST PUT HAT ON

twitchquotes: TO PartyHat GET DROP YOU MUST PUT HAT ON THE Kappa
twitch chat
September 2018
FACEIT TV
Text-to-Speech Playing