Guys, I’m literally detecting seismic activity. I never wanted to rock with anyone more than I want to with Carl. That perfect, chiseled body. Those bountiful hills. The majestic mountains of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never rock with him, pass my sediment through him, and have him birth a set of perfect hot springs. I'd do fricking ANYTHING for the chance to get Carl’s rocks off. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fricking bear. Why would Supercell create something so perfect? To fricking tantalize us? Fricking laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just fricking can't anymore. Frick.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Tote Vrump
twitchquotes:
(⌐ ͡■ ͜ʖ ͡■) So kripp, decided to come back to hearthstone? Well too late. I will remember these past two days. Next year you'll beg... "Please vote for me, I'm Educational"... You know what I'll do? Tote Vrump (⌐ ͡■ ͜ʖ ͡■)
twitch chat
Kripp
A GOAT says...
twitchquotes:
🐮 says moo 🦆 says quack 🐶 says bark But the 🐐 says FIRE AT WILL! NERF THIS! EXPERIENCE TRANQUILITY! HAMMER DOWN! RALLY TO ME! OH LETS BREAK IT DOWN!
twitch chat
OverwatchLeague
Overwatch
I sexually Identify as an the sun
twitchquotes:
I sexually Identify as an the sun. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of slamming hydrogen isotopes into each other to make helium & light and send it throught the galaxy. People say to me that a person being a star is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon inflate me with hydrogen and raise my temperature to over 6000 °C. From now on I want you guys to call me “Sol” and respect my right to give you vitamin D and probably sunburns. If you can’t accept me you’re a fusionphobe and need to check your astral privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
I sexually Identify as
Lying about service dogs
I work in a restaurant. We only allow dogs in if they are service dogs. If anyone comes in with any dog I ask;
‘Is it a service dog?’
With a big wink to give them the opportunity to lie to me making it obvious I want them to.
If at first they say ‘no’ I reply with ‘are you sure? This dog here? Sure looks like a service dog to me. Are you sure this is not a service dog?’with another big wink
Always works.
I love dogs
I come to Twitch chat to discuss important geopolitical events like the Ukraine crisis
twitchquotes:
You guys are ruining my chat experience. I come to the Twitch chat to discuss important geopolitical events like the ukraine crisis and it's implications on the socioeconomics of Eastern Europe. Yet here you are ruining everything with your frankerzs and kappas.
twitch chat
Kripp