[Copypasta] I love Carl from Brawl Stars

Guys, I’m literally detecting seismic activity. I never wanted to rock with anyone more than I want to with Carl. That perfect, chiseled body. Those bountiful hills. The majestic mountains of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never rock with him, pass my sediment through him, and have him birth a set of perfect hot springs. I'd do fricking ANYTHING for the chance to get Carl’s rocks off. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fricking bear. Why would Supercell create something so perfect? To fricking tantalize us? Fricking laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just fricking can't anymore. Frick.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Pressing random numbers as a form of camaraderie

twitchquotes: Do you losers get a joy out of having people press random numbers on their keyboard when you tell them to? Does it validate your pathetic life? This is why I hate twitch chat, bunch of anti-social weaboos pressing random numbers as a form of camaraderie. How about you actually start a conversation with one another instead of being weird, yes I'm srs.
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

Hafu is more hardcore than Kripp

twitchquotes: Kripp, I'm disappointed in you. Your chat is out of control and you don't even care. Your veiwers are the most pathetic scum on Twitch. Even worse, Hafu is a more hardcore player than you. Are you even trying anymore? Whatever, I'm going to go watch Reynad or Trump, you useless bag of ***.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Hey! I noticed you used an emoji.

Hey! I noticed you used an emoji. I don’t know if you’re new here, so I’ll let you off the hook this time. Using emojis is frowned upon here on this great site, and for good reason. Instagram normies often use them, and you don’t want to be a normie, do you? If I catch you using an emoji in the future, I’ll be forced to issue a downvote to your comment. Why should you care, you may ask? Well to begin, you will lose karma on your account, which is a useful social status tool and also a way to show others you know your way around Reddit. If you were to continue the use of emojis, I would be forced to privately message you about your slip-up. Any further offenses past that would leave me no other option than to report your account. I don’t think I have to explain why you don’t want that. But anyways, no harm done yet! Follow these simple rules and you’ll enjoy your future on Reddit! Have a blessed (and hopefully emoji-free) day, stranger.
April 2022

IM NOT A WEABOO

IM NOT A FUCKING WEABOO YOU FUCKING HATERS I JUST FUCKING LIKE ANIME OK???!!!! STOP THIS FUCKING SPAM IM NOT PRETENDING TO BE BORN IN JAPAN I JUST FEEL LIKE JAPAN IS MY HOME BECAUSE AMERICA SUCKS (BTW PLEASE VOTE BERNIE OR ILL LEAVE THIS PLACE) SO REALLY SOMEONE NEEDS TO TELL YOU GUYS ONCE AND FOR ALL ITS NOT FUNNY TO ACCUSE ME OF BEING A WEABOO OR SOMETHING BECAUSE ITS JUST FALSE!!!
May 2021

Weebs

I get a thousand hugs from 10,000 lightning bugs

twitchquotes: 🤔 In the song "Fireflies" by Owl City he states "I get a thousand hugs from 10,000 lightning bugs." Are we to assume each bug hugs him a thousand times? Or is he only getting hugged by 1/10th of the bugs? Or is each bug is giving him 1/10th of a hug? 🤔
twitch chat
June 2017
Text-to-Speech Playing