[Copypasta] It starts with a surge of adrenaline

twitchquotes: It starts with a surge of adrenaline. Signals flood the nervous system. Pupils race back and forth behind closed eyelids. Then open. Now itโ€™s up to you to decide what to do with it.
twitch chat
March 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? Iโ€™m 6.

This started about 4 years ago when I was 2 years old. My dad started to supplement me picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I have retained absolutely nothing even though my dad has spent every waking minute trying to make me understand. He has done almost everything including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while I am sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make me understand the market. Yesterday, he got to a breaking point when I couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. My dad finally convinced my mom that they were doing the right thing when he said that I will soon be a Wendy's worker begging my wife's husband for a weekly allowance because I will never amount to be anything. He couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said, if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy, plz adopt me from Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Am I The Asshole?

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: Iโ€™m sorry I kept referring to Fredโ€™s liberally mayoโ€™d oven-roasted chicken sub as a โ€œbukkake specialโ€. Iโ€™m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. Iโ€™m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling โ€œETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?โ€ in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
August 2021

Subbin to MingLee when his emote is free

twitchquotes: subbing MingLee to Scarra MingLee when MingLee his MingLee emote MingLee is MingLee free MingLee
twitch chat
January 2017
Scarra

Addicted to copy pasta

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp. You got me addicted to copy pasta you sick ***. I was 19 and on my way to my dream job when you first gave me a hit of this junk. Now I'm cappucino dongeringos in back-alleys just for another copy pasta. I'm chasing that first high and I'm scared I'll rip in pepperinos soon if I don't find help. Pls no crop a dingo pace the rhino my story.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

COCKtober emojipasta v2

October 2021

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Halloween

NSFW

Holiday

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