[Copypasta] I sexually Identify as going second

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as going second. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of being at a mana disadvantage for ten turns. People say to me that a winning when going second is Impossible and I’m *** retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install four cards in my opening hand as well as the coin on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “UNKNOWN” and respect my right to instantly lose the majority of games. If you can’t accept me you’re a turn-twophobe
twitch chat
December 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

I sexually Identify as

What happened to this ad? :(
More Kripp Copypastas

Go back to playing Grim Yawn Kripp

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp! This is famous game designer, Eddy Pasterino. I am very glad to see you playing my new game Hearthstone . However i must ask you stop playing now as you are making it look boring as hell and as always Dongerino Al Pacino go back to playing Grim Yawn.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Vegetron Ruler and Protector of all plant matter

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, This is Vegetron Ruler and Protector of all plant matter in the galaxy. I command you to stop being a p*ssy and eat meat, instead of eating all of my relatives. If you don't, I will be super angry at you. You've been warned.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

You just entered a world of hurt

twitchquotes: Hey you mothef**ker. You just entered a world of hurt. I just found my wifes texts to 'The Kripp', talking about dongers, topdicks, and salt. I don't know what kind of fetish *** you're into but you better find it somewhere else. I'm coming for you. If any of you retards copy paste this I'll get you too.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

My son, why did you tap last?

twitchquotes: In Romanian village there is very little water. Papparian is thirsty and asks Kripparian to get some water for him from the water tap 2 miles away. Kripp decides to go to the store first. A few hours later Kripp brings Papparian his water, only to find Papparian has had a heat stroke. With his dying breath, Papparian asks "My son, why did you tap last?"
twitch chat
February 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Leifman the Salt King can save the world

twitchquotes: A hundred years passed and my brother and I discovered the new Salt king, a moderator named Leifman. And although his moderating skills are great, he still has a lot to learn before he's ready to save any chat. But I believe Leifman can save the world.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing