[Copypasta] THIS USED TO BE A 2016 STREAM

twitchquotes: FeelsBadMan THIS USED TO BE A 2016 STREAM FeelsBadMan THIS USED TO BE A 2016 STREAM FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
January 2017
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Try being nicer when you say that Calvin

twitchquotes: Try being nicer when you say that Calvin so it comes across as constructive and less toxic that way you won't hurt anyone's feelings and everyone will be happy :)
twitch chat
October 2018
aimbotcalvin

Overwatch

Six foot antlers

twitchquotes: I bet all you beta f*gs don't wear antlers either. Science has shown that the male deers with the largest antlers attract the most females, so obviously the exact same principle works for human females. When I walk into the club reeking of sweat with six foot antlers strapped to my head, I get the attention of every female in the room. Pretty much ever man too, that's how powerful the effect is.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

You know what really bothers me?

twitchquotes: You know what really bothers me? When I walk into a public restroom and find semen and urine all over the seat of the only toilet there. It disgusts me and makes me really uncomfortable. That's how I feel reading this chat. Please no copy pasterino, these are my personal feelings and not to be mocked.
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

Police clearing out a homeless encampment

On my way into the office today I saw the police clearing out a homeless encampment under a bridge, forcing them into the cold and rain. I keep playing it over in my head and haven’t been able to focus on work all day because of my erection.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

I fucking hate gaming laptops

I fucking hate gaming laptops. Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
January 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing