97%, of teenagers would cry if they saw Justin Bieber standing on top of a building about to jump. "If you are the 3% sitting there with popcorn, screaming "DO A BACKFLIP," Repost this.
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Thinking of the greatest Hearthstone player
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Sometimes, late at night when I am under my covers, I touch my stealth donger and think of the greatest hearthstone player, the very best there ever was, then in a desperate attempt to not fap i think of Kripp, and that's it, donger is gone, i whisper "casual" and go back to sleep.
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Kripp
Canadian man brofisting the local Greek population
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Last night in Greece, Greek police heard reports of a Canadian man in a blue tacky sweater walking around the streets at night, 'brofisting' the local population. As a result 20,000 greek citizens have contracted the casualitis. If you see this man, please report to greek policerino department.
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Kripp
Infinite poop
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Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
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Classic
What is trolling?
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Trolling - the mental disorder of being in-denial while not having to admit that they're truly lonely and in need of desperate attention while also being under the influence of being sarcastic and in most cases just idiotic. Trolling is also represented by just typing the 
emote. Pls copypaste to spread awareness
emote. Pls copypaste to spread awareness
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imaqtpie
Wow! I love Verizonā¢!
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Wow! I love Verizonā¢! Iām glad that the internet is so free! Isnāt it great to say whatever you want and have your opinion represented equally across the internet! Itās really great! Good thing Verizon has spent millions on having that removed Iām sure they wonāt abuse it! Thank you Verizonā¢! I love Verizonā¢! Donāt you love Verizonā¢?! Say it! Say it! Say you love Verizonā¢! Canāt you see theyāre protecting us from all those small businesses who want to steal a fraction of their market?! Donāt you hate those people disagreeing with you?! I sure love Verizonā¢! Thank you Verizonā¢! Thank you for sticking your gold plated rusty knives up our asses and looking us dead in the eyes and saying āthis is whatās best for a free and open internetā and slowly twisting it deeper and deeper until we eventually just give out and shit money into your fat wallets!
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