97%, of teenagers would cry if they saw Justin Bieber standing on top of a building about to jump. "If you are the 3% sitting there with popcorn, screaming "DO A BACKFLIP," Repost this.
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Stock space rocket
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WallStreetBets
Troll face kid
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Stroll in my local GameStop
stroll into my local GameStop
looking to pick up a copy of Binding of Isaac
grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register
"Pardon me, milady...but could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..."
she giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves
her eyes widen as she reads the game's title
"Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!"
I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings out from behind
"Hahaha look at what this β₯β₯β₯β₯β₯β₯ is buying! That's not Call of Duty Advanced Memefare! What a piece of β₯β₯β₯β₯!"
I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst
generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing
"Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady."
"β₯β₯β₯β₯ you β₯β₯β₯β₯β₯β₯!"
I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them
"As you wish..."
I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react
he bellows and charges forward
I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter
I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back
"...requiescat in pace..."
As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers
"So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...?
"No thanks, milady, it's only single player. Besides..."
I sheath my sword
"You're not my type."
skate away on my Heelys
Classic
Wake up realization
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i didnt fuck my cat emojified
twitchquotes:
iπββοΈdidnβt π« fuck ππ¦my catπΎ. i didnt π«cum ππ¦on my catπΌ . i didntβ put 
my Dick π anywhere πnear my catπ . Ive never βπ
ββοΈdone anything weird βββwith my πββοΈπ»cats. I promisedπ€ myself π€i wasnt going to make π’π’apology πΏ videosπΉ after last yearsπ
thing so im just trying to be as short and honest π with this π
πΌas possible. (1/?)
my Dick π anywhere πnear my catπ . Ive never βπ
ββοΈdone anything weird βββwith my πββοΈπ»cats. I promisedπ€ myself π€i wasnt going to make π’π’apology πΏ videosπΉ after last yearsπ
thing so im just trying to be as short and honest π with this π
πΌas possible. (1/?)
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