[Copypasta] What's that?

twitchquotes: "Octavian," weeps a heartbroken Rania, "we need to talk. I'm not happy anymore. Your frail, vegan body no longer satisfies me. I asked you for a child, and all you gave me was this mangy mutt. Well, I've got news for you. I'm pregnant, and I bet you know who the father is. That's right, it's Tanner from Foot Locker. I'm leaving you, Octavian, you've ruined everything. Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Kripp lifts the headphone off his ear and glances in Rania's direction. "What's that?"
twitch chat
May 2019
Kripp
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Kripp Copypastas

Kripp you promised to start a cooking show soon

twitchquotes: Hey Kripparino riparino, I know you love your Hearthstone but you promised your loving father that you would start a cooking show soon. The gig is up, after this game you must Gordon Ramsay us one splendarino disharoni.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

DONGERS initiative

twitchquotes: (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) Hello Kripparrian, this is Agent Saltson, from the Secret Hearthstone Information Education and Luck Division. I need to talk to you about the D.O.N.G.E.R.S Initiative. (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

As Kripp installed the minecraft

twitchquotes: ᴀs ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ɪɴsᴛᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪɴᴇᴄʀᴀғᴛ ɪ ʜᴇʟᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀɢɢᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ. ɪ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅɴ·ᴛ ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜ ᴛʜᴇsᴇ ɢᴀᴍᴇs. ɪ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴀ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ᴡʜᴏ ᴡᴀs ɴᴏʟɪғᴇ. ɴᴏᴡ ɪ ᴀᴍ ɴᴏʟɪғᴇ. ɢᴏᴏᴅʙʏᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Just kidding, it's still Tanner

twitchquotes: H-hey Octavian, do you remember me from Biology? Freshman year? It's Laura. I just wanted to stop by since you missed the last reunion, I was looking for you. I always thought you were really smart and talented, but I could never work up the nerve to tell you. Anyway, I hope you're doing well...HAHA Just kidding, it's still Tanner you fucking gullible idiot lmfao. Anyway, the gym awaits, see ya man good talk.
twitch chat
August 2018
Kripp

Classic

Tanner from High School

My name is Octavius Kripparius Muridius

twitchquotes: My name is Octavius Kripparius Muridius, commander of the PJSalteers of the North, General of the Salty Legions and loyal servant to the TRUE emperor, Saltarrian. Father to a Flamestriked son, husband to a Top decked wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this stream or the next.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
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