[Copypasta] My name is Dennis Pasterino

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ Hello, Kripp. My name is Dennis Pasterino and I'm a talent scout with 'Morton Modeling Agency'. I wonder if you would be able to discuss a business opportunity. We're holding open auditions for n**e models to pose for the first 'Hunkaroonie Beefcakes of Twitch Calendar'. Please send close up donger pics. ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

I've been making fake sub names for Kripp

twitchquotes: Hey, my name is Carlton Pasterino. I have something to confess. For the last 3 years I've been making fake sub names for Kripp. He pays me pennies and dimes to come up with 50 new names a day. From Thundercuck to MrRabbit69, I've made over 80% of his subs up for him. I'm tired of working like a child laborer. I'm ready to go back to college and make something of myself. I'm here to let the world know.
twitch chat
December 2016
Kripp

Classic

Troves lump

twitchquotes: So kripp moves closer to trump, whispering nasty things into the air, trump moves away in horror at Kripp's indecency, they both stop for a second and stare into eachothers eyes, kripp finally realises that he troves Lump
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

Lieutenant Clitt Nippley of the Greek Army

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is lieutenant Clitt Nippley of the Greek Army. It has come to our attention that you've been 'BroFisting' many of our citizens against their will. If you continue this, I have full authority to launch a nuclear attack against you and your evil 5 dollar club. You've been warned.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Catarrian hungry

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, Catarrian here. Far too long have I meowed and you've ignored my plea for food. Here you are bragging to everybody about the militant "vegan" that you are, yet you neglect animals. It's time everybody knows the truth meow so we can report your sorry Romanian *** to PETA.ᕙ໒(˵ ̄ᴥ ̄˵)७ᕗ
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Kripp finally picks Pogo

twitchquotes: Dear Mr. Kripparian, thank you so much for finally picking Pogo! Ever since you picked Pogo, his grades have gone up, he finally got a girlfriend, and he's stopped masturbating all day in his bedroom. I was certain my little Pogo was going to end up a lifeless virgin loser for his entire life, but your kind actions have put Pogo on a path for success. Thank you, thank you, you have my sincerest gratitude. Much love, Pogo's mom.
twitch chat
June 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing