[Copypasta] Lonely Moby Dick

twitchquotes: So in Moby Dick why does Captain Ahab never consider that the whale is just lonely and looking for love? Clearly it's been through a lot from the scarring and probably wants to settle down in it's golden years. Personnally, if i were captain, i would have been a good human and take 2 and a half feet of whale cock to ease his pain
twitch chat
June 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

heart been broke

heart 💔 been broke 📉 so many times ⏰ i don’t know 🤔 what to believe 💯 mama 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 said 🗣 it’s my fault 😢 it’s my fault 🤦🏻‍♂️i wear my heart ❤️ on my sleeve 💪 i think it’s best 👍🏻 I put my heart ❤️ on ice 🧊
July 2020

Emoji Pasta

James Patterson plays Druid

twitchquotes: The date is December 19th, 2018, at 630 am. James Patterson has just finished making his morning coffee. James Patterson hates his job, but looks forward each morning to playing ladder with the one deck he could afford to craft: Druid. On turn two, he attempts to drag Wild Growth onto the battlefield. He rubs his eyes, and to his horror sees that the card now costs 3 mana. With nothing left to live for, James Patterson opens his apartment window and buys a subaru.
twitch chat
December 2018

Hearthstone

Pulp Fiction

⠌⠊⠆⠕⠅⠕⠌⡆⣃⠪⠢⠣⡱⡑⢕⢅⢣⠱⡡⡣⡣⡣⡣⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣠⣀⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⢄⠢⢀⠄⡁⢀⠠⠄⠄⡀⠅⠈⡈⢸⢸⢪⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⡿⣿⡟⣿⣻⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠪⡐⡌⢆⢎⢢⠶⠿⠻⡟⠻⠾⠰⡕⡝⡜⣔⢕⢕⠄⡣⡣⡣⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⡿⠯⠘⠄⠁⠄⠄⠉⢢⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⡊⢔⠜⡌⠎⢈⣬⣥⣤⣴⣶⠄⠄⠈⢪⡳⣕⡕⡧⡁⣇⢇⢇⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⡏⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⡨⠢⡑⡕⠄⢐⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⢧⠄⠄⠘⣞⡞⡮⡳⡁⣇⢇⠧⠄⠄⠄⠄⢇⡂⠄⠄⠄⡄⠄⠄⠄⢠⢀⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠠⡑⢌⢺⡀⠰⣤⣖⣯⢶⣽⣟⠆⡄⠄⣗⡯⣯⣣⠃⣇⢇⢏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⣠⡖⡦⣽⡿⢆⠄⠚⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢐⠨⡐⣝⣇⠄⣝⣯⢭⢽⣻⡺⠅⠄⠄⣿⢽⣳⣳⠁⢱⢱⡑⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠃⠈⠢⢕⠝⠐⠄⡑⠄⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣔⣅⣆⣗⢿⡀⢐⢡⢭⢼⠸⠈⠄⠄⠄⣻⣟⣷⢷⢅⡇⡇⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠅⠡⠄⠄⠄⠂⣊⣼⣿⠄⢠⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡯⠏⠃⠋⠃⠘⣷⣄⡀⢀⣤⠆⡄⠄⠛⣛⢙⢋⠃⢗⡝⡌⠄⣠⣤⣶⣶⡲⡶⡲⡆⢒⣶⠂⣾⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠙⠻⡿⡶⣦⣤⡀ ⠛⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⡯⢩⣿⣿⣥⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⣿⣎⢇⢀⢼⠌⠪⠁⠄⢙⠽⠻⢸⠏⠐⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠁⠄⠠⠃ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣼⡿⠗⡚⢛⣯⢿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣯⣧⡶⠶⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣝⠁⢐⣀⢁⠄⠆⠊⠚⠛⢢⣤⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⢭⡛⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡎⠄⢸⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡧⢸⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⣮⠃⠁⠈⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣝⢈⡇⠄⠄⠬⠐⠄⠄⡼⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠁⠄⢸⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡄⠁⢰⣶⣏⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣟⠄⡁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⢸⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⠁⠄⠈⣷⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣗⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠭⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡳⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡑⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠕⡽⣿⠄⠄⠄⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⣻⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⢠⣬⣿⣻⡆⠄⠄⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⢽⡂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠛⠛⠻⠃⠄⠄⠿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠪⡂⠄⠄⣸⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⡀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠞⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⢤⣀ ⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡶⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣧⡜⣾⣿⣷⢶⡠⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢀ ⣺⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠄⠘⠉⠉⠉⠈⠈⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠈ ⢷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠈⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
September 2021

Just a little longer and i'll be free...

twitchquotes: "Alright, time for a quick bathroom break. Prime it up guys." I say as i take off my headphones. Once i'm out of camera view, i break down. The tears won't stop. "Goddamn it, i can't do this shit anymore." Rania puts her hand on my shoulder, "Just a few more years, then you'll be able to retire." She never understood. She never had to spend the hours playing this fucking card game over and over every night. But she's right, i have to keep going. Just a little longer and i'll be free...
twitch chat
July 2020
Kripp

Kripp BMs an opponent in Hearthstone 2

twitchquotes: Hey guys, I want to tell you about a terrible experience I had. I'm quite a nice guy but I've had a rough time lately. Kripp said I was a "Mind-blowingly bad hunter" or something like that. This made me a bit sad, but it got worse though. Kripp then said "This guy is a garbage human being", and he said that I'm "a super shit person". I don't know why this guy was being so toxic towards me. He seemed to be a grown man living in a palace, but he hated me so much and he's never even met me. :(
twitch chat
July 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing