[Copypasta] Lonely Moby Dick

twitchquotes: So in Moby Dick why does Captain Ahab never consider that the whale is just lonely and looking for love? Clearly it's been through a lot from the scarring and probably wants to settle down in it's golden years. Personnally, if i were captain, i would have been a good human and take 2 and a half feet of whale cock to ease his pain
twitch chat
June 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Are you Reynad's dad?

twitchquotes: I went to a MTG tournament in Denver to meet Brian Kibler and ask him in person "Are you Reynad's dad?" I needed the truth. I approached Kibler and asked him for a semen sample. Kibler gave a coy smile, "There's only one way you're getting semen out of me." I got on my knees and took the sample. I still don't know if Kibler is Reydad but we've been dating for 5 days now.
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

It's Chad from your freshman English class

twitchquotes: Hey you little gayboy, nice hat. It's Chad from your freshman English class, remember me, dork? I thought I'd pop in after finishing my first 60 reps at the gym - y'know, that place REAL men go to? Anyways, guess you're still playing video games like a sissy cuck - AS USUAL. Thought maybe you'd man up after highschool, but now you're wearing skirts and makeup for a bunch of dweebs online. Have a nice life, dumbass.
twitch chat
April 2018
Sneaky

KappaPride

Tanner from High School

its 3 am and i fucked up really bad

I was hungry so i decided to eat some bbq wings and watch some anime. there was about 6 of it and i ate 3 and a half. that was when i started to feel a bit funky on my hand and mouth, and i thought to myself "wow, these bacteria are extra rough today". i used the flashlight on my phone to see what was going on and there was an army of ants covering my hands and i shit you not, i cough once and my mouth is a shotgun that shoots ants as bullets. i was covered in fear and ants and the urge to scream, but the fear of asian parents is stronger. i can only cry silently in a dark and quiet room, all alone, while being violated by ants.
April 2021

Rob ford messages Kripp

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ɪᴛs ʀᴏʙ ғᴏʀᴅ. ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴏʀᴏɴᴛᴏ. ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴏᴜʀ ɢᴅᴘ ɪs ᴅʀᴏᴘᴘɪɴɢ, ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ᴀʀᴇ ʀɪᴏᴛɪɴɢ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ sᴛʀᴇᴇᴛs ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴀxᴘᴀʏᴇʀs ᴀʀᴇɴ'ᴛ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ. ɪ'ᴍ ᴜᴘ ғᴏʀ ʀᴇ-ᴇʟᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴜᴘᴘᴏʀᴛ. ᴘʟs ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘʏᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴄʀᴀᴄᴋᴀʀɪɴᴏ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

I'm Tanner jr. btw!

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, I just turned 5 years old! My dad says I'm pretty good at this game at that I should watch your stream to learn how not to play bad. He says he stole your high school girlfriend. Oh yeah, I'm Tanner Jr. btw! Nice to meet you!
twitch chat
May 2019
Kripp

Tanner from High School

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