[Copypasta] Lonely Moby Dick

twitchquotes: So in Moby Dick why does Captain Ahab never consider that the whale is just lonely and looking for love? Clearly it's been through a lot from the scarring and probably wants to settle down in it's golden years. Personnally, if i were captain, i would have been a good human and take 2 and a half feet of whale cock to ease his pain
twitch chat
June 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Duel of Hearthstone in the Shadow Realm

twitchquotes: 喹о技嗖犡操堗矤嗉洁 FORSEN I challenge you to a duel of Hearthstone in the SHADOW REALM. The loser is banished to the shadow realm, but the winner gets to compete in the HS finals in duelist city. WHAT'S IT GOING TO BE FORSEN? 喹о技嗖犡操堗矤嗉洁
twitch chat
March 2015
Forsen

MY NAMES HIKO IM A BAITER

twitchquotes: MY NAMES HIKO 4Head IM A BAITER 4Head ILL MEET YOU AT THE BOMBSITE 4Head A LITTLE BIT LATER
twitch chat
June 2021
Hiko

Valorant

Please quit calling it "Victory Fap"

twitchquotes: Would you guys please quit calling it "Victory Fap"? I find it very offensive, and I'm sure Rania does too, that you think Kripp can only become aroused through dominance in a child's card game. Please grow up chat, thanks
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Arrogant globaphopic

twitchquotes: This offends me as a vegan transgender atheist who vapes and crossfits 4 times a week and im also a male feminist as I identify myself as a pastafarian apache helicopter dog mega multi combo god of hyper death and if you dont agree with me. You're an ignorant arrogant globaphobic sexist lesbian
twitch chat
May 2016

Saying that the Easter Bunny does not orgasm with every egg laid is considered blasphemy and grounds for excommunication from the Church.

Weird fact: the Easter Bunny was the source of a significant amount of theological debate during the 1200's, as Catholic philosophers debated why God would create a creature in a constant state of labor (and thus suffering). The Catholic Church ultimately resolved this question by declaring that the Easter Bunny orgasmed every time it laid it an egg (which it was doing constantly). This is now codified in Canon Law (the legal code of the Catholic Church and much of Europe in the pre-modern era) and saying that the Easter Bunny does not orgasm with every egg laid is considered blasphemy and grounds for excommunication from the Church.
April 2022

Holiday

Easter

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing