[Copypasta] Lonely Moby Dick

twitchquotes: So in Moby Dick why does Captain Ahab never consider that the whale is just lonely and looking for love? Clearly it's been through a lot from the scarring and probably wants to settle down in it's golden years. Personnally, if i were captain, i would have been a good human and take 2 and a half feet of whale cock to ease his pain
twitch chat
June 2020
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I'm gay because...

You are gay because you like men I’m gay because I hate women We are not the same
April 2022

MagicAmy used VANISH

twitchquotes: MagicAmy PREP'd the scam, CONCEALED his identity, BETRAYED Reynad, SPRINTED with the money and used VANISH.
twitch chat
February 2015
Reynad

Parrot is just of new cat

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs ʏᴏᴜʀ ʙᴇsᴛ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅ ᴘᴀʀʀᴏᴛ. ɪ sᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏᴛ ɴᴇᴡ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅ ᴄᴀᴛ, ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴋᴇs ᴍʏ ʙᴇᴀᴋ ᴀᴄʜᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ғᴇᴀᴛʜᴇʀ sʜɪᴠᴇʀ. ɪ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ʀᴀɴɪᴀ sᴇxʏ ʙᴇᴅ sᴏᴜɴᴅ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʜᴏᴍᴇ. ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ɴᴏ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ ғʟᴀᴘᴘᴇʀɪɴᴏ ғᴇᴀᴛʜᴇʀɪɴᴏ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

McDonald's BTS Meal

So I was listening to my favorite boy band called 'BTS (I am an army)' on my Samsung earbuds (BTS Edition) using my Samsung Galaxy s20+ (BTS Edition) in my room plastered with BTS poster. Suddenly one of my Army friends (we are BTSSexual and BTSGender) told me that there is a McDonald's BTS meal which almost made me jizz my pants. I ran to McDonald's to buy the BTS meal and came back home. Even though I am an Army (I would have bought their feces if they were selling it), this is intolerable. That was the most uncreative meal ever created. I wish McDonald's would have put Ass-Hair of each members of the band and hidden it in Chicken McNuggets. Like "Hey! I got Jimins Ass-hair in my chicken nuggets! Can't wait to get Kim Teahyung's Ass-hair so I can take his DNA sample and recreate a clone of Kim Teahyung to overrule the world with #Army". bts #army #blm #gaypride #arianagrande
June 2021

Karma from the vegan produce co-op

twitchquotes: Greetings, kripp! Blessings! It's Karma from the vegan produce co-op. I didn't know you were some kind of internet superstar hahahaha. Send me an astral projection, dude. Btw, did you ever find a way to make tofu edible? It's been a big challenge for me hahah. You have such a kind aura. It's so calming to see you again. You have the address for my drum circle. Peace, my fellow
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp
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