[Copypasta] Lonely Moby Dick

twitchquotes: So in Moby Dick why does Captain Ahab never consider that the whale is just lonely and looking for love? Clearly it's been through a lot from the scarring and probably wants to settle down in it's golden years. Personnally, if i were captain, i would have been a good human and take 2 and a half feet of whale cock to ease his pain
twitch chat
June 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Helicopter just dropped down to say

damn this shit crazy dawg but β–¬β–¬β–¬β–¬β–¬.β—™.β–¬β–¬β–¬β–¬β–¬ β–‚β–„β–„β–“β–„β–„β–‚ β—’β—€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„ β—’β—€ β–ˆβ–„ β–ˆ β–ˆβ–„ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€ ╬ β—₯ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β—€ ══╩══╩═ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ just dropped down to say ╬═╬ ╬═╬ You hella gay, no cap ╬═╬ ☻/ ╬═╬ /β–Œ ╬═╬ / \
December 2020

Dog food lid

twitchquotes: Hello everyone! I'm entering streams to say something random! Did you know "dog food lid" backwards is "dildo of god"? Good bye everyone!
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

Cradle both balls

twitch chat
June 2017

KappaPride

Please abide by the Reddit amendments

Sir, please abide by the Reddit amendments: β€’ ⁠Big Chungus is funny β€’ ⁠Keanu Reeves is the second coming of christ β€’ ⁠Elon Musk is the third coming of Christ (as well as wholesome 100, he knows Reddit memes) β€’ ⁠Fortnite is gay (gay = bad) β€’ ⁠Females are dumb while men are cool β€’ ⁠Nestle is the worst company ever (as well as the only bad company) β€’ ⁠Minecraft is the best game ever made β€’ ⁠No emojis allowed (except for πŸ—Ώ (yo angelo (it's funny because it's a Jojo reference (if you see someone commit a Jojo reference, you are legally forced to continue the reference chain, if you do not, you will be downvoted))) β€’ ⁠Being downvoted means you're wrong, if you think you're being wrongfully downvoted, rethink your comment, and if you still think you were wrongfully downvoted, rethink your comment until you understand what you did wrong β€’ ⁠Reddit is the best social media Until I have seen major improvements in your behavior, your post will be awarded one downvote (aka Australia upvote, it's funny because Australia is on the opposite side of the globe compared to Europe and America, lol). This is your first and final warning, if you do not abide by these amendments in the future, everyone will dislike that.
August 2021

Give me a second guys, Dex says

twitchquotes: "Give me a second, guys," Dex says. "Gotta hit up the mailman" He turns down the volume on his bork, and immediately gives Kripp a swift kick down the stairs. As Kripp yelps loudly in pain, Dex overturns the nearest chair, yelling "Fuck this delivery!" as loudly as he can. Fey tries to calm him down, but Dex swiftly bodyslams her onto a glass coffee table. After taking a few deep breaths, Dex wipes the blood off of his snout, sits back down at his ball, and resumes being a good doggy
twitch chat
January 2019
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing