[Copypasta] Lonely Moby Dick

twitchquotes: So in Moby Dick why does Captain Ahab never consider that the whale is just lonely and looking for love? Clearly it's been through a lot from the scarring and probably wants to settle down in it's golden years. Personnally, if i were captain, i would have been a good human and take 2 and a half feet of whale cock to ease his pain
twitch chat
June 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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Kripp should change his name to hl_kripp

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Liferino, CEO of No Life IncorporatedΒ©. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has life) as you no longer are a "no life". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

7 goals and only 2 nets

twitchquotes: HOW CAN GERMANY SCORE 7 GOALS WHEN THERE ARE ONLY 2 NETS IN THE FIELD?
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Arrested for Navy Seal copypasta

I've mentioned this a lot before, but one of my best friends from back home was arrested, jailed for three months, and sentenced to 2 years probation for sending someone the Navy Seal copypasta on Facebook. As of today, he is FINALLY legally allowed to be online again.
February 2019

Navy Seal

Obama

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–€β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–’β–„β–„β–“β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–’ β–β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–’β–Œβ–’ β–‘β–Œβ–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–„β–ˆβ–„β–Œβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–Œβ–’ β–‘β–β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–‘β–€β–€β–β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–„β–“β–“β–„β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–„β–’β–‘β–’β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–’β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ– β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–„β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆ
ascii art
April 2021

Hey! I noticed you used an emoji.

I don’t know if you’re new here, so I’ll let you off the hook this time. Using emojis is frowned upon here on this great site, and for good reason. Instagram normies often use them, and you don’t want to be a normie, do you? If I catch you using an emoji in the future, I’ll be forced to issue a downvote to your comment. Why should you care, you may ask? Well to begin, you will lose karma on your account, which is a useful social status tool and also a way to show others you know your way around Reddit. If you were to continue the use of emojis, I would be forced to privately message you about your slip-up. Any further offenses past that would leave me no other option than to report your account. I don’t think I have to explain why you don’t want that. But anyways, no harm done yet! Follow these simple rules and you’ll enjoy your future on Reddit! Have a blessed (and hopefully emoji-free) day, stranger.
January 2024

Reddit

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