twitchquotes:
any female born after 1993 can’t cook… all they know is mcdonald’s , charge they phone, twerk, be bisexual , eat hot chip & lie
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(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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I hate you
Mark, let me tell you something. Pay close attention to the text that I am about to write.
An average human body has about 38 trillion cells. In each of these cells there is a spiral helix of DNA that, if stretched to its maximum, is about two meters long. DNA is one of the densest stores of information on the planet: a single gram of DNA stores about 700 terabytes of information. If we stretched out the 76 trillion meters of DNA in my body and recorded, character by character, the word "Hate" over and over and over again, this pile of information could not store the tiniest fraction of a trillionth of the hatred that I feel for you right now. Every drop of blood in my body cries out for your death. My very soul writhes in disgust. Your mere existence is a blasphemy and an affront to every possible virtue and quality that any rational being can possess. You are a deception to Satan himself.
YOU. ME. GAS STATION.
What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
A huge hurricane is coming QTs way
twitchquotes:
Its 2019. A huge hurricane is coming QTs way. As theyre packing, they noticed they only have room for 3 pets in their car. A sad voice opens up in QTs mouth - "Dapper, No 
". He was left behind.
". He was left behind.
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imaqtpie
The default dance is truly a masterpiece
twitchquotes:
The 🕺🏻default dance🕺🏻 is truly a 🖊masterpiece. Never❌in all of history🕖🕗🕘🕙🕚has such an artistic masterpiece🖊 ever been created. The choreography💃🏻 is possibly the most beautiful😍 sight👀 ever beheld by the human💁🏻♂️ eye👁. The sharp 🔪sound of the SLAP👏 when the player’s hands👐 collide perfectly 💯 with the beat of the song 🎵 sends a bone chilling☠️ shiver down my spine, every single time 🕘I hear it👂🏻. I find my self watching 👀my in-game 🎮avatar performing this phenomenal dance ritual 💃🏻for hours🕧 on end.
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Emoji Pasta
Fortnite
Stimulus talks going well in 2946
The year is 2946, Robot Mitch McConnel and Cyborg Nancy Pelosi report stimulus talks going well.
The Dow rewards them and hits 6.02 x 1023.