twitchquotes:
any female born after 1993 can’t cook… all they know is mcdonald’s , charge they phone, twerk, be bisexual , eat hot chip & lie
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I used to be a real ad
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Twelve days of gachi
twitchquotes:
On the Twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me 12 slaves in bondage 11 Pairs of shackles 10 12-inch dildos 9 boys next door 8 brand new whips 7 hydra dicks 6 hot loads 5 wrestling mats 4 suction masks 3 fisting sessions 2 billy figures And a signed autograph from aniki
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Forsen
KappaPride
THE LEATHER CLUB IS 2 BLOCKS DOWN
twitchquotes:
HEY BUDDY I THINK YOU GOT THE WRONG DOOR THE LEATHER CLUB IS 2 BLOCKS DOWN
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KappaPride
Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass
I currently have a Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass.
I am male if it matters. I've always been into putting things in my ass I don't know why, I'm not gay or anything I just like how it feels. Well I got drunk last night and decided to play with my ass and I hadn't gone shopping so I was out of carrots and cucumbers so I looked around and I saw my Buzz Lightyear action figure and thought "why not?" I've put action figures up there before because they feel different and it's funny. I grabbed Buzz, lubed him up and put him up against my asshole and started sliding him in. "To infinity and beyond!" I moaned as Buzz entered me.
The only problem is that he has those wings that expand and so they popped open nearly splitting me in half and now he's stuck in there and I can't get him out. I know I need to go to the emergency room but honestly I'm scared and ashamed. I've managed to hide it from my wife so far but I think she's getting suspicious and can tell something is wrong. I'm going to try to sneak to the ER later and hopefully get it taken care of without her finding out.
Confessions
hi reckful this is your mother :)
to help you not feel lonely i made this simulation in which 10k watch you play but theyre actually all just me to prove it ill copy paste this on all my accounts Barack Obama
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