Steps up to mic, straightens tie, clears throat, taps mic.
"This thing on?"
Murmurs of assent.
Clears throat again.
"Minecraft good."
The crowd excitedly begins to talk amongst themselves, many holding bated breath.
"Fortnite..."
A hush falls over the crowd, rapt attention held.
"Bad."
Suddenly, the crowd goes wild, screaming their praise, demanding awards, running over each other to hug a loved one. Whistles of elation are heard and many are seen sobbing. World peace is enacted in acknowledgement to this monumental speech that knit the world together.
Steps up to mic, straightens tie, clears throat, taps mic.
"This thing on?"
Murmurs of assent.
Clears throat again.
"Minecraft good."
The crowd excitedly begins to talk amongst themselves, many holding bated breath.
"Fortnite..."
A hush falls over the crowd, rapt attention held.
"Bad."
Suddenly, the crowd goes wild, screaming their praise, demanding awards, running over each other to hug a loved one. Whistles of elation are heard and many are seen sobbing. World peace is enacted in acknowledgement to this monumental speech that knit the world together.
Being a Karen is low key awesome as hell
Being a Karen is low key awesome as hell. You get to have sweet ass chunky highlights and drive a big hideous SUV you secretly eat 3 donuts a day in and dont report to weight watchers. You can go to your jazzersize class absolutely fucked up on airplane bottles of rum and a perc you got from your friend who has back issues. Call your daughter a whore in front of her friends when she's 12 then pretend not to remember it when she brings it up deeply traumatized in her 20s. Fucking boss bitch shit straight up. Just blasting "dude looks like a lady" max volume flooring it to a target to cause a ruckus returning a bath mat. Not giving a single shit if its problematic. You like it that way. Making your dumbass kids apologize to YOU when you say racist shit. Getting zooted on your strawberry nosed husbands blood pressure meds. Hell yes queen fucking slay.
Being a Karen is low key awesome as hell. You get to have sweet ass chunky highlights and drive a big hideous SUV you secretly eat 3 donuts a day in and dont report to weight watchers. You can go to your jazzersize class absolutely fucked up on airplane bottles of rum and a perc you got from your friend who has back issues. Call your daughter a whore in front of her friends when she's 12 then pretend not to remember it when she brings it up deeply traumatized in her 20s. Fucking boss bitch shit straight up. Just blasting "dude looks like a lady" max volume flooring it to a target to cause a ruckus returning a bath mat. Not giving a single shit if its problematic. You like it that way. Making your dumbass kids apologize to YOU when you say racist shit. Getting zooted on your strawberry nosed husbands blood pressure meds. Hell yes queen fucking slay.
Last night I shoved live gerbils in my ass for the first time. AMA
I went to the pet store and bought three lucky gerbils, a whole set up for them. I took them home, stripped down, lubed up my ass then put the first brave gerbil into a condom. I looked him in the eyes and I could tell he was just as excited but nervous as I was. Then I shoved him inside me and out of instinct due to being squished in my tight little asshole the gerbil tried to burrow to safety which felt AMAZING. I bent over and moaned uncontrollably as the gerbil flailed and burrowed trying to save his life. Unfortunately it was in vain. After a couple minutes he stopped moving. The first brave gerbil on my sexual journey had died. My legs still shaking from pleasure I pulled him out of my ass and out of the condom. I looked at his lifeless body and he looked so peaceful it almost brought a tear to my eye. I threw him in the trash can then grabbed another condom and another gerbil.
The second gerbil was quickly inside me and thrashed just as violently as the first. My legs buckled, my small flaccid penis started leaking. I laid on the bed, my legs shaking as I jerked my tiny penis as hard as I could. Unfortunately this one died quicker. A failure. I cast it into the trash and got the biggest gerbil ready. I swear he winked at me. It was hard to get him in but he started burrowing and thrashing directly on my prostate. I screamed in pleasure and came everywhere as that fat gerbil flailed helplessly in my asshole. My orgasm was so intense I lost control of my bowels and shit everywhere. As the diarrhea sprayed from me like a chocolate fountain the final dead gerbil plopped out of my ass and onto the bed. I laid there panting watching the mixture of shit and cum soak into the bed. Then I got up, cleaned up and got dressed, my legs still shaking. A truly unforgettable experience.
I need more gerbils.
You have to have a very high IQ to understand Bitcoin
sigh
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Bitcoin. Its future applications are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of computing and economics most of its possible functions will go over a typical investor’s head. There’s also Sitoshis’s free market outlook, which is deftly woven into his creation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Robert Malthus, for instance.
The shills understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of this coin, to realise that it is not just speculation - it says something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Bitcoin truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the brilliance in Satoshi’s brilliant programming method - the “Blockchain,” which itself is a cryptic reference to Haber and Stornetta's Merkle trees. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as our lord and savior's genius wit unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂
And yes, by the way, i DO have a Bitcoin tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 😎
sigh
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Bitcoin. Its future applications are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of computing and economics most of its possible functions will go over a typical investor’s head. There’s also Sitoshis’s free market outlook, which is deftly woven into his creation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Robert Malthus, for instance.
The shills understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of this coin, to realise that it is not just speculation - it says something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Bitcoin truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the brilliance in Satoshi’s brilliant programming method - the “Blockchain,” which itself is a cryptic reference to Haber and Stornetta's Merkle trees. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as our lord and savior's genius wit unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂
And yes, by the way, i DO have a Bitcoin tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid 😎
One day I'll be a real dong
twitchquotes:(ง •̀_•́)ง ONE DAY I'LL BE A REAL DONG (ง •̀_•́)ง