[Copypasta] YOU NEED TO GET GRAMMARLY™

twitchquotes: If you write ANYTHING on your computer, YOU NEED TO GET GRAMMARLY™. I write pretty much ALL DAY every day and GRAMMARLY™ makes my writing better. As a student I like that it's FREE It actually is... correcting everything as I'm writing it. Grammar errors spelling errors... IT EVEN helps me find the right words to use!! SO I can say what I want to say!! It catches all those embarrassing little mistakes BEFORE I HIT SEND!!! I download GRAMMARLY™ around my freshman year because I was just... Ｈ Ｏ Ｒ Ｒ Ｉ Ｂ Ｌ Ｅ... at typing! Grammarly™ is like my secret weapon for writing papers. It's just the PERFECT tool for your resume, you know you don't want ANY errors when it's your first impression. I use GRAMMARLY™ for important emails, social media posts (which there are a L O T of.) I've used EVERY TOOL OUT THERE!! And Grammarly™ is by far the ＢＥＳＴ for improving your writing. GRAMMARLY™ is making me a better writer. AND it's free... I would recommend GRAMMARLY™ if you're a student, my family, my peers, my colleagues, It's like having YOUR OWN personal proof-reader for free.
twitch chat
August 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Rudy Giuliani brings a plate of evidence

Holy shit. Rudy Giuliani came into the presser to bring me a plate of election fraud evidence and I literally screamed at him and hit the plate of evidence out of his hand. He started yelling "HEEEREEE'S KRAKEN!" at me and I cut the live feed on him. I’m so distressed right now I don’t know what to do. I didn’t mean to do that to Rudy but I’m literally in shock from the evidence tonight. I feel like I’m going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This can’t be happening. I’m having a fucking breakdown. I don’t want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want to Build Back Better™. I want Biden to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in Michigan???? This is so fucked.
November 2020

2020 US Election

Rainbow 6 copypastas have to be among the worst I've seen in any esport

twitchquotes: Also, Rainbow 6 copypastas have to be among the worst I've seen in any esport. People spam garbage over and over until eventually the mods get fed up and clamp down on spam. I don't blame them for it. Get creative and stop ruining twitch chat for everyone
twitch chat
August 2020

Leaf Of Legend

twitchquotes: Hello mr michael "ImAPie" santana i am writing to tell you how removing adblock make me better at "Leaf Of Legend". i remove adblock and see add for "Skillcap". Skillcap help me become bestest LoL player in Somalia - Bronze 4. Worth sell wife.
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

My favorite character is the reaper guy

twitchquotes: My favorite character is the reaper guy. he is very powerfull. special move, honestly is one of the best in the game and so he comes equipped with these two revolvers and only takes about 3 or 4 shots to actually execute a kill so it comes really in handy specially when you come from the side.
twitch chat
November 2018

Overwatch

I just shit and cum FAQ (Reddit)

I just shit and cum. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of shit (and cum) on my computer and floor has increased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of feces or ejaculation. These include, but are not limited to: * Being gay * Dank copypasta bro, where'd you find it * walter ## Am I going to shit and cum too? No - not yet. But you should refrain from shitposting and cumposting like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to shit and cum again, which may put your shitting and cumming privileges in jeopardy. ## I don't believe my comment deserved being shit and cum at. Can you un-cum it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put shit back into my butt. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a hot load explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to retaliatory ejaculation within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of semen dies before it can fertilize the egg, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the goopy brown and white substance and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated in my mom's basement. I will continue to shit and cum until you improve your conduct. Remember: ejaculation is privilege, not a right.
November 2021
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