Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search” as they would say.
By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving.
I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes.
During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up.
Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Sneakily squeak until light of dawn
twitchquotes:
When I fart Kripp feel the fart. He hard press A and D and try to avoid the fart. But Kripp smell the fart. My viscosity meter is always highest when Kripp in the room. We sneakily squeak until light of dawn. All becoming well met.
twitch chat
Kripp
Clean All The Things
─────────────────────────────▄██▄
─────────────────────────────▀███
────────────────────────────────█
───────────────▄▄▄▄▄────────────█
──────────────▀▄────▀▄──────────█
──────────▄▀▀▀▄─█▄▄▄▄█▄▄─▄▀▀▀▄──█
─────────█──▄──█────────█───▄─█─█
─────────▀▄───▄▀────────▀▄───▄▀─█
──────────█▀▀▀────────────▀▀▀─█─█
──────────█───────────────────█─█
▄▀▄▄▀▄────█──▄█▀█▀█▀█▀█▀█▄────█─█
█▒▒▒▒█────█──█████████████▄───█─█
█▒▒▒▒█────█──██████████████▄──█─█
█▒▒▒▒█────█───██████████████▄─█─█
█▒▒▒▒█────█────██████████████─█─█
█▒▒▒▒█────█───██████████████▀─█─█
█▒▒▒▒█───██───██████████████──█─█
▀████▀──██▀█──█████████████▀──█▄█
──██───██──▀█──█▄█▄█▄█▄█▄█▀──▄█▀
──██──██────▀█─────────────▄▀▓█
──██─██──────▀█▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▀▀▓▓▓█
──████────────█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█
──███─────────█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█
──██──────────█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█
──██──────────█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█
──██─────────▐█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█
──██────────▐█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█
──██───────▐█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█▌
──██──────▐█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█▌
──██─────▐█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█▌
──██────▐█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█▌
──────────▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▄
───────────▀▄─────▀▄───▄███▄
─────────────▀▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀█▀██▐█
────────────▄▀─────────███▄██▄
────────▄████▄──────────▀██▀─▀█
────────█▌█▄██────────────────█▌
────────▀█▄██▀─▄█████████▄─────█
──────────█───██▀───────▀██────█
▄▀▄▄▀▄────█──██───────────██───█
█▒▒▒▒█────█──█─────────────█───█
█▒▒▒▒█────█──▀─────────────▀───█
█▒▒▒▒█────█────────────────────█
█▒▒▒▒█────█────────────────────█
█▒▒▒▒█────█───────────────────▐█
█▒▒▒▒█───██───────────────────█▌
▀████▀──██▀█──────────────────██
──██───██──▀█───────────────▄███
──██──██────▀█────────────▄▀▓▓██
──██─██──────▀█▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▀▓▓▓▓██
──████────────█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓███
──███─────────█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█▓█
──██──────────█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█▓█
──██──────────█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓██▓█
──██─────────▐█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█▓▓█
──██─────────█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█▓▓█
──██─────────█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█▓▓█
──██─────────█▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█
I'm getting mighty SPOOKED over here
twitchquotes:
STOP POSTING SKELETONS im getting mighty SPOOKED over here
twitch chat
imaqtpie
I hate, hate, hate coffee culture
I hate, hate, hate coffee culture. I can't stand people saying, "Oh, I can't do anything until I get a warm cup of coffee in me." Shut up. Being a former smoker, I recognize the addiction and subsequent irritability of coffee drinkers and it bugs me to no end that caffeine gets glossed over as an addictive substance, or even fucking celebrated to some extent. Those people who brag about needing 5 expresso shots (sorry, esssspresso) a day need an intervention, not a nod of approval. Seriously, all you coffee drinkers are the biggest group of fucking enablers I've ever seen.
When doing group activities, like camping, I loathe waiting for others to start their day after a morning ritual that hogs counter space, or propane, or dirties good clean water. I hate the sleepy look in peoples' eyes as they grasp their cup of stimulant that they wouldn't need had they never started drinking it in the first place.
There's an entire fucking cupboard in my kitchen dedicated to stupid coffee mugs and their dumb sayings staring back at me despite living in a household where only one person drinks coffee. Why? And the dishes. Since nearly every person drinks coffee, inevitably us non-coffee drinkers are going to have to clean up after your morning fix. Seriously, I've done so many goddamned cleanings of coffee mugs if I had a dime for every one, I'd probably have enough for a Starbucks franchise.
And don't even get me started on Starbucks. Godamned devil business slanging legal crack for decades, hogging good real estate so addicts have a place to slurp up and get their morning shit in before work.
Lastly, I despise the amalgam of ways people cook up their black powder and then talk up the flavor as though it tastes like something other than a dirty sock. That's your addiction speaking. You want to know why you need to dump half an udder of cream in your cup? It's because cream is fucking delicious and when combined with your filthy water, makes it somewhat bearable.
And your stupid machines that creak and groan through the quietude of my morning can go fuck themselves. Talk about a waste of counter-space. And the spent black stimulant granules that spill over onto the counter, staining the grout drives me nuts.
And lastly, the goddamned keurig cups or whatever they're called are one of humanity's worst inventions, sandwiched between Glyphosate and Joe Rogan. At least the meth addicts don't deposit a plastic remnant that will persist in landfills for hundreds of years spreading micro-plastics into our environment every time they need to get high.
Dear Kripparian, how dare you
twitchquotes:
Dear Kripparian, how dare you... I have dedicated my life to Hearthstone. I am a proud Hearthstoner and so are the rest of your fans. You cannot betray us and start playing a Hearthstone competitor. I can fall asleep to your HS streams because of how casual it is, but this game is too complicated and it keeps me awake. If you betray us we will rise up, you have been warned.
twitch chat
Kripp