[Copypasta] I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said

Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search” as they would say. By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving. I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes. During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up. Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

What did you just say about my positions

twitchquotes: What the fuck did you just fucking say about my positions, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Wharton Business School, and I've been involved in numerous insider trades on Alibaba, and I have over 30,000% returns. I am trained in trading on margarine and I'm the top trader in the Bridgewater Associates. You are nothing to me but just another pump before I dump. I will wipe your gains the fuck out with swiftness the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my network of brokers across the USA and your brokerage account is being traced right now so you better prepare for red dildos, faggot. The dildos that wipe out the pathetic little thing you call tendies. You're fucking broke, kid. I can manipulate any stock, anytime, and I can bankrupt you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my market manipulation. Not only am I extensively trained in pumping and dumping, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the SEC and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable portfolio off the face of robinhood, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit red dildos all over you and you will drown in them. You're fucking broke, kiddo.
twitch chat
September 2020

Lirik's logo

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November 2020

Positive "Give me a second guys" copypasta

twitchquotes: “Give me a second, guys,” Kripp says. “Gotta hit up the bathroom” He turns down the volume on his microphone, and immediately springs up from his chair and shouts "I LOVE THIS GAME!" before giving Dex a swift pat on the head. As Dex yips loudly in delight, Kripp runs over to give Rania a kiss on the cheek. Rania then tries to take out the trash, but Kripp swiftly grabs the bag from her and does it for her. Elated, Kripp wipes the sweat off his forehead, sits back down, and resumes his stream.
twitch chat
November 2020
Kripp

Valor To Me!

twitchquotes: (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง ᴠᴀʟᴏʀ, ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง <;º ༽ sǫᴜᴀᴀᴋ <;º ༽
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie

Pride month is over.

Pride month is over. pride month is over. All gay people instantly begin to spontaneously combust, trans people begin to morph into various citrus fruits and are sold as novelty items from a different time. Bisexual people are instantly split in half by the invisible blade of corporate disinterest and the non-bianries are legally banned from using the number 0 in any scenario. The pride flags and corporate twitter profile pictures are instantly detonated to make room for more advertisements, posters promoting diversity and inclusivity are ripped down and destroyed by once-inclusive teachers all across the country. and the price of lube decreases by an average of 76% worldwide. Pride month is over. Greed month is upon us. May all who savoured their taste of freedom, cower in the face of pure capitalism, and use the link https://nordvpn.com/superthrash767 when signing up to nord vpn...
July 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing