[Copypasta] I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said

Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search” as they would say. By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving. I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes. During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up. Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I saw Flying Lotus at a grocery store

twitchquotes: I saw Flying Lotus at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
twitch chat
November 2019

What's that?

twitchquotes: "Octavian," weeps a heartbroken Rania, "we need to talk. I'm not happy anymore. Your frail, vegan body no longer satisfies me. I asked you for a child, and all you gave me was this mangy mutt. Well, I've got news for you. I'm pregnant, and I bet you know who the father is. That's right, it's Tanner from Foot Locker. I'm leaving you, Octavian, you've ruined everything. Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Kripp lifts the headphone off his ear and glances in Rania's direction. "What's that?"
twitch chat
May 2019
Kripp

Stimulus talks going well in 2946

The year is 2946, Robot Mitch McConnel and Cyborg Nancy Pelosi report stimulus talks going well. The Dow rewards them and hits 6.02 x 1023.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Easter emoji pasta

HEY ALL U EASTER BUNNY🐰🐰🐰 HOES!!! Today is 🎉🎉Easter!! You know what that means🤔🤔🤔??? It’s time to HOP over to DADDYS house so he can FUCK😫😫💦💦💦 u like a rabbit!! Gotta get those Easter day cummies!! After u and daddy FUCK 😫💦 then it’s time for ⛪️church⛪️!!! Get ready for that HOLY DICK🍆🍆😍😍 because jesus is CUMMING😩🍆🍑💦 back from the dead today to FUCK THAT EASTER BUNNY PUSSY🐇😩🍆🍑😍💦😏😉. Then it’s time for the egg hunt 🕵🕵🕵!!! U better find an egg!! Search in every HOLE😘😩 CRACK 😫😍 and CREVICE 🤗😉😏 for the GRAND PRIZE 🤑😇 getting that 🏵🌸🌺PASTEL PUSSY🍑🍣🌮 RODE 🏇🏇🏇 into the Easter sunset! Send this to all ur other EASTER BUNNY🐰🐰🐰 HOES👄😫🍆💦. If u get 5️⃣ back ur a ROTTEN COLORED EGG!!! If u get 🔟 back ur a LOADED 💋👅🙌🏻😉😏💦💦 EASTER BASKET. If you get 2️⃣0️⃣ back? UR GETTIN FUCKED 😱🍆🍑💦💦IN UR RABBIT 🐰🐇🐰HOLE TONIGHT!!!!
April 2022

Holiday Emoji

Easter

Holiday

DANK MEMES, ATTEND ME

twitchquotes: ( ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง DANK MEMES, ATTEND ME (ง ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)ง (ง ◉◡◔)ง READY, CHAT! (ง ◉◡◔)ง
twitch chat
March 2015
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing