[Copypasta] I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said

Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search” as they would say. By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving. I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes. During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up. Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.
April 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Kripp, Blizzard here again

twitchquotes: Kripp, Blizzard here again. We've noticed that you've been away from Hearthstone for at least 2 hours. We're just wondering if everything is okay. Is it still mages? We're serious about nerfing them if it's a problem to you. Our Viewbots are ready to bring you much ad revenue. Thank you Kripp, hope to see you soon!
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Viewbots

Hearthstone

Troll face

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠿⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠠⠤⠒⢂⣉⣉⣉⣑⣒⣒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠀⠀⠐⠒⠚⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠔⠉⣀⠔⠒⠉⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠈⠉⠑⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠈⠉⠉⠉⠁⠂⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠔⠁⠠⠖⠡⠔⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠲⢄⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠊⠀⢀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠜⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠥⠐⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠰⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠀⠈⠐⢤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣶⣾⣯⠀⠀⠉⠂⠀⠠⠤⢄⣀⠙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠋⠡⠐⠈⣉⠭⠤⠤⢄⡀⠈⠀⠈⠁⠉⠁⡠⠀⠀⠀⠉⠐⠠⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠲⣿⠿⠛⠛⠓⠒⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡉⢢⠙⣿ ⣿⠀⢀⠁⠀⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠒⠂⠀⠒⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡠⠔⠒⠒⠂⠀⠈⠀⡇⣿ ⣿⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡠⠋⠓⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⠤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⡠⠀⡇⣿ ⣿⡀⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⡦⢄⣀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠁⢸⠀⠀⠠⠒⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠇⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⢀⢾⡆⠀⠈⡀⠎⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⣄⡈⠢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣶⣄⡀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠈⠉⠒⠢⡤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠦⠤⠒⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⢴⠁⠀⢷⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢂⠀⠈⠹⡧⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⢱⠒⠒⠒⠒⢖⠒⠒⠂⠙⠏⠀⠘⡀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠄⠰⠀⠀⠁⠐⠲⣤⣴⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⣠⣷⣶⣿⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡙⠋⠙⠓⠲⢤⣤⣷⣤⣤⣤⣤⣾⣦⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢹⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠀⢄⠀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠈⠉⠻⠋⠉⠛⢛⠉⠉⢹⠁⢀⢇⠎⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠈⠢⢄⡉⠂⠄⡀⠀⠈⠒⠢⠄⠀⢀⣀⣀⣰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⢀⣎⠀⠼⠊⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡀⠉⠢⢄⡈⠑⠢⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣀⡈⠑⠢⢄⡀⠈⠑⠒⠤⠄⣀⣀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠤⠂⠁⠀⢀⠆⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⡀⠁⠉⠒⠂⠤⠤⣀⣀⣉⡉⠉⠉⠉⠉⢀⣀⣀⡠⠤⠒⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
February 2021

I downloaded Sonic games on my school computer

So yesterday in class we were all given our new Windows computers (last year, I hacked the chromebooks so they could play Sonic Advance) and I immediately downloaded twenty-five PC Sonic games within one hour and installed two dozen emulators to play the console and handheld ones. After we all got our computers, I bragged about having the ability to play 60 Sonic games. The teacher confisticated my computer and said I would have to use the chromebooks for the rest of the year. She also said that Sonic was a dead franchise and that Fortnite was better in every way. That was really no good and SLOW of her! So I ripped my computer out of my Sonic-hating teacher and screamed "YOU SLUTTY SLOW SONIC HATER! YOU'RE JUST TOO SLOW!" I also went to her macbook, and deleted Fortnite and installed more Sonic games and played Gotta Go Fast to the whole class. She gave me an F, which is impossible since E is the lowest rank and S is the highest, and sent me to the principal's office, where I was suspended and they called my parents, who took away my Game Gear. When I get back, I'll make sure they pay for being TOO SLOW.
July 2021

In the Realm of the Saltiverse

twitchquotes: In the Realm of the Saltiverse, a young Saltkeeper named Kripparrian was chosen to free his people from their ancient enemy, the Mods. Using the magical power of Copy and Paste, Kripparrian sacrificed his salt force to banish the mods to Trump's chat. However, in doing so, Kripparian paid the ultimate sacrifice and became Casual. Please copy pasterino this talerino, so we do not forgetterino the legenderino of the Saltkeeperio Kripperino.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

MODS

salty

Just a little longer and i'll be free...

twitchquotes: "Alright, time for a quick bathroom break. Prime it up guys." I say as i take off my headphones. Once i'm out of camera view, i break down. The tears won't stop. "Goddamn it, i can't do this shit anymore." Rania puts her hand on my shoulder, "Just a few more years, then you'll be able to retire." She never understood. She never had to spend the hours playing this fucking card game over and over every night. But she's right, i have to keep going. Just a little longer and i'll be free...
twitch chat
July 2020
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing